The last few months have been a difficult time for me. People I care for turned away from me, and those I thought were friends cast themselves against me and sought to harm others I care for.
When we are beset by hurtful words and harmful actions it is easy to respond in kind. You see the enemy charging towards you and draw your sword, ready your shield. Your blood starts pumping as you reach deep into your self-righteous anger to unfurl a battle cry.
Yet with any battle the outcome is certain – both combatants will be wounded, the body and heart forever scarred through the altercation. And when the fighting is over and the righteous anger has cooled even the victor will be haunted by ghosts of their aggression.
Indeed battle – especially with those you once cared for – can only end in defeat.
This morning I was listening to a song by Sidewalk Prophets called ‘Live Like That’. In the chorus they sing these words as they refer to a radiant and perfect creator:
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do points to you
Whether or not you believe in a god, or a Christian God this is a powerful exhortation to our better nature. That our thoughts, and words, and actions point to something more glorious, offer a glimpse of something more perfect.
I want to live like that.
At times in our community we come across others we disagree with – those who despite walking the transgender path are different from us. It can be appealing to cast them as an enemy to be defeated. Even as I bring my former friends in the transgender community to heart who wish us harm, it is tempting to feel ill will towards them.
I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to find love and compassion. The transgender journey is hard. One of the hardest I know. They bear hurts, and challenges, and scars too. Even amidst hurtful words and hurtful actions, they are still our family.
I pray their path is blessed.
More Articles by The Author
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence
- Crossdresser Heaven Site Updates for January 2019
- You Are Enough
Vanessa Law
Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
- I Want to Live Like That - August 29, 2020
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness - March 22, 2020
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence - April 6, 2019
- Crossdresser Heaven Site Updates for January 2019 - January 28, 2019
- You Are Enough - March 5, 2017
Hi Vanessa I know you understand you have been blessed Your dedication and commitment to creating a safe, supportive and welcoming environment for the trans community is a blessing for so many of us who have been floundering around trying to find answers to the question WHY do i feel the way I do. Your creation has given me a firm, steady, supportive platform to begin a journey of self discovery that has allowed me to grow and let go of all the negative parts of me that have done no good for anyone including myself. Feeling safe was my… Read more »
Thank you for this article Vanessa. I’m saddened to hear that the anger that is polarizing the world has reached here as well.
I was so happy to find a safe environment where I can feel comfortable with being myself.
As you said, anger and hatred hurts all involved.
Thanks for creating this haven/heaven for us.
Love
Heather
Thanks for your kind words
Heather Harrison !
Great article and so heartfelt.
I have defended my country and my community in service as US Marine and Police Officer. I can say from experience, your words are true. There are no victors in battle, physical or mental battles. Those fought with others transpose to battles within ourselves.
It is better to Love….beginning within one’s self. Others will see the Love in you, and will eventually follow, in their time.
❤️
Thanks for your kind words
Gabrielle Thomas – and for your service to our country. Truly few know better the consequences of battle than those who participated on the front lines.
*Big hugs*!
Thank you for this article, Oh My, You surly deserve better than that as do we all,
What a beautifull article from the heart.
There is much love in you Vanessa. I wish I could hug you with a peck on the cheek.
Terri Anne.
Thank you
Terri Anne – you are a wonderful friend dear. how about a virtual hug
yay! Done! Thanks, it is a honor to have you as a friend!
Sorry to here of your struggles,Vanessa. I also thank you so much for your leadership to keep CDH on track. I am just reminded of a counseling session between my now X and I. After the session she looked at me and said, ” you probably think you won”. I just looked at her and said,” if I win WE loose, if you win WE loose. The only way WE can win is if the WE is important enough that each one of us can flex ourselves so WE works.” Sometimes it is best not to go to battle and… Read more »
Very well said Sandy!
Hello Vanessa. I am so sorry to hear about this. No one should have to endear this. I love it here. I love my new friends/sisters. This is an amazing place. I am happy we are friends/sisters too. If you ever need someone to talk to. I am always here for you. Hugs… Natasha
Thanks for a powerful and positive message during such a challenging time.
Thank you, Vanessa, for the heartfelt article. I sometimes think that when we communicate in words and not in person, we lose so much subtext that is vital for telling others how we feel about them. People read with a tone of voice in their minds and can be set off by the littlest thing. It is so hard for just words to convey how we really think and feel, and misunderstandings can bloom unpredictably. That isn’t to say that we don’t create lots of misunderstandings when we communicate in person, too, LOL. I can imagine that someone like yourself,… Read more »
Namaste’ Vanessa
I am grateful for you and this platform dear, sooo grateful
Char
Vanessa, sorry for your struggles. You created a wonderful, supportive space here. I thank you. I’ve met so many great people. To me, the journey of the transgender person, or even any along the gender spectrum, is heroic. We are all the heros of our own story. I am stronger and more sure of myself because of the support here.
Peace and love,
JaiymeLynne