I want to live like that

The last few months have been a difficult time for me. People I care for turned away from me, and those I thought were friends cast themselves against me and sought to harm others I care for.

When we are beset by hurtful words and harmful actions it is easy to respond in kind. You see the enemy charging towards you and draw your sword, ready your shield. Your blood starts pumping as you reach deep into your self-righteous anger to unfurl a battle cry.

Yet with any battle the outcome is certain – both combatants will be wounded, the body and heart forever scarred through the altercation. And when the fighting is over and the righteous anger has cooled even the victor will be haunted by ghosts of their aggression.

Exceptional Voice

Indeed battle – especially with those you once cared for – can only end in defeat.

This morning I was listening to a song by Sidewalk Prophets called ‘Live Like That’. In the chorus they sing these words as they refer to a radiant and perfect creator:

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do points to you

Whether or not you believe in a god, or a Christian God this is a powerful exhortation to our better nature. That our thoughts, and words, and actions point to something more glorious, offer a glimpse of something more perfect.

I want to live like that.

At times in our community we come across others we disagree with – those who despite walking the transgender path are different from us. It can be appealing to cast them as an enemy to be defeated. Even as I bring my former friends in the transgender community to heart who wish us harm, it is tempting to feel ill will towards them.

I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to find love and compassion. The transgender journey is hard. One of the hardest I know. They bear hurts, and challenges, and scars too. Even amidst hurtful words and hurtful actions, they are still our family.

I pray their path is blessed.

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Stephanie Kennedy
Active Member
Stephanie Kennedy (@qtestephy)
22 days ago

Hi Vanessa I know you understand you have been blessed Your dedication and commitment to creating a safe, supportive and welcoming environment for the trans community is a blessing for so many of us who have been floundering around trying to find answers to the question WHY do i feel the way I do. Your creation has given me a firm, steady, supportive platform to begin a journey of self discovery that has allowed me to grow and let go of all the negative parts of me that have done no good for anyone including myself. Feeling safe was my… Read more »

Heather Harrison
Heather Harrison (@heather69)
22 days ago

Thank you for this article Vanessa. I’m saddened to hear that the anger that is polarizing the world has reached here as well.
I was so happy to find a safe environment where I can feel comfortable with being myself.
As you said, anger and hatred hurts all involved.
Thanks for creating this haven/heaven for us.

Gabrielle Thomas
Active Member
Gabrielle Thomas (@tgabrielle)
22 days ago

Great article and so heartfelt.

I have defended my country and my community in service as US Marine and Police Officer. I can say from experience, your words are true. There are no victors in battle, physical or mental battles. Those fought with others transpose to battles within ourselves.

It is better to Love….beginning within one’s self. Others will see the Love in you, and will eventually follow, in their time.


Terri Anne
Active Member
Terri Anne (@terria67)
22 days ago

Thank you for this article, Oh My, You surly deserve better than that as do we all,
What a beautifull article from the heart.
There is much love in you Vanessa. I wish I could hug you with a peck on the cheek.
Terri Anne.

Terri Anne
Active Member
Terri Anne (@terria67)
22 days ago
Reply to  Vanessa Law

yay! Done! Thanks, it is a honor to have you as a friend! 

Sandy Jayson
Active Member
Sandy Jayson (@loneleycd)
22 days ago

Sorry to here of your struggles,Vanessa. I also thank you so much for your leadership to keep CDH on track. I am just reminded of a counseling session between my now X and I. After the session she looked at me and said, ” you probably think you won”. I just looked at her and said,” if I win WE loose, if you win WE loose. The only way WE can win is if the WE is important enough that each one of us can flex ourselves so WE works.” Sometimes it is best not to go to battle and… Read more »

Natasha Krober
21 days ago

Hello Vanessa. I am so sorry to hear about this. No one should have to endear this. I love it here. I love my new friends/sisters. This is an amazing place. I am happy we are friends/sisters too. If you ever need someone to talk to. I am always here for you. Hugs… Natasha

jo-ann (@jo-ann)
17 days ago

Thanks for a powerful and positive message during such a challenging time. 

Rochelle Mills
Active Member
Rochelle Mills (@rochellem)
16 days ago

Thank you, Vanessa, for the heartfelt article. I sometimes think that when we communicate in words and not in person, we lose so much subtext that is vital for telling others how we feel about them. People read with a tone of voice in their minds and can be set off by the littlest thing. It is so hard for just words to convey how we really think and feel, and misunderstandings can bloom unpredictably. That isn’t to say that we don’t create lots of misunderstandings when we communicate in person, too, LOL. I can imagine that someone like yourself,… Read more »

Active Member
Char (@charee)
13 days ago

Namaste’ Vanessa

I am grateful for you and this platform dear, sooo grateful 


Active Member
JaiymeLynne (@jaiymelynn)
9 days ago

Vanessa, sorry for your struggles. You created a wonderful, supportive space here. I thank you. I’ve met so many great people. To me, the journey of the transgender person, or even any along the gender spectrum, is heroic. We are all the heros of our own story. I am stronger and more sure of myself because of the support here.
Peace and love,

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