The last few months have been a difficult time for me. People I care for turned away from me, and those I thought were friends cast themselves against me and sought to harm others I care for.
When we are beset by hurtful words and harmful actions it is easy to respond in kind. You see the enemy charging towards you and draw your sword, ready your shield. Your blood starts pumping as you reach deep into your self-righteous anger to unfurl a battle cry.
Yet with any battle the outcome is certain – both combatants will be wounded, the body and heart forever scarred through the altercation. And when the fighting is over and the righteous anger has cooled even the victor will be haunted by ghosts of their aggression.
Indeed battle – especially with those you once cared for – can only end in defeat.
This morning I was listening to a song by Sidewalk Prophets called ‘Live Like That’. In the chorus they sing these words as they refer to a radiant and perfect creator:
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do points to you
Whether or not you believe in a god, or a Christian God this is a powerful exhortation to our better nature. That our thoughts, and words, and actions point to something more glorious, offer a glimpse of something more perfect.
I want to live like that.
At times in our community we come across others we disagree with – those who despite walking the transgender path are different from us. It can be appealing to cast them as an enemy to be defeated. Even as I bring my former friends in the transgender community to heart who wish us harm, it is tempting to feel ill will towards them.
I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to find love and compassion. The transgender journey is hard. One of the hardest I know. They bear hurts, and challenges, and scars too. Even amidst hurtful words and hurtful actions, they are still our family.
I pray their path is blessed.
More Articles by The Author
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence
- Crossdresser Heaven Site Updates for January 2019
- You Are Enough
Vanessa Law
Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
- I Want to Live Like That - August 29, 2020
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness - March 22, 2020
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence - April 6, 2019
- Crossdresser Heaven Site Updates for January 2019 - January 28, 2019
- You Are Enough - March 5, 2017
I like your post and I like this site. I am a Christian and I struggle with this thing that I do all the time. I feel so conflicted, I know that I am a man but, I love my feminine side too. I want to live like that too. I want to be better. I have compassion for all of you on here because I know that most of us are going through the same thing.
Thank you Vanessa for sharing your heart with us. Sometimes even those we thought were supportive change up on us and their rejection hurts, it simply makes room for true friendships to develop, grow, and nurture us.
Vanessa I rarely post but your words motivate me because you are so fundamentally important to us all. Please be strong and know that you have our support. Don’t let the ‘slings and arrows’of fake people affect you. You are better than they are and you have created a place of solace and hope for so so many people. You are utterly awesome, please don’t stop.
This really hits home with the struggles we face.