My dress arrived via the Amazon delivery van!  It’s SOOO easy to buy another dress these days. I had flicked and clicked searching through so many web sites after entering “black mini dress” into the search .  I typically stay with sites which I know well because of their sizing and fit. However, I wanted to consider another vendor, something really, really sexy! The USA has so many websites and choices for women’s clothing. but being from Canada, I try to limit my search to Canadian retailers. I tend to succumb to either Le Chateau or Melanie Lynn. The first one has relatively inexpensive clothing and  often have a “never ever “again sale, which always seems to happen again. A dress on this site can be had at 50 % to 70 % off!   On the other hand, Melanie Lynn clothing tends to be more upscale. They are a retailer where you would buy a “forever” item, a true foundation piece,  something that is timeless and is likely to be in your wardrobe for a long time. The big difference is quality and price –  I can buy three dresses at Le Chateau on sale for the price of one dress at Melanie Lynn. For a crossdresser, this seems like a great deal and one too good to resist.  Order after order arriving at your home,  leaving your neighbours wondering what is going on. Suddenly, you realize the burden of having too many dresses, skirts and heels ( if there is such a thing!). One issue that effects most crossdressers is purging – ridding yourself of your wardrobe  because of a combination of fear, guilt and lack of storage space compels you to drop all your items off at charity centre. We rid ourselves of things we feel we no longer need or dont flatter us.   I’ve read most of Vanessa Law’s articles  on CDH. She makes great points about dressing if you want to pass or look like a woman in a dress ( as opposed to a man in a dress). Respect the body you have been given, work with it. Don’t try to fit into a bodycon dress if it does not flatter you. The value of seeing yourself for who you are in the present will help you find clothing that will make you appear more feminine when dressed.  Yes, I’ve been there, like many of you –  bought lingerie, a tight dress, heels as high as 6 inches. Maybe you want to experience the sensation and visual pleasure in the comfort and privacy of your home.  I seldom dress now unless I can completely be Melissa. I want the full “dressing” and feminine experience. We all have a body shape and figuring your body shape is a great place to start. Is it square, pear, apple or triangle?  Determining your shape is important for how you dress. If you have a few pounds you can shed, consider exercising and dieting to create a more desired body shape. If you can do this, it will help when you start using body shaping accessories because they will be much more effective in creating curves on your body. Years ago I arranged to meet another crossdressing friend to go out for drinks and dancing. We connected online before meeting and exchanged pics so we knew who to expect when we met. I am only 5’7″ and 5’10” with heels. She was 6′ 1″ without heels 6′ 5″with heels. I was impressed with how she could walk in her heels. Her dress was a tight mini which she had to tug down just to cover her bum. That night, I don’t think anyone noticed me in my dress.  My dress was purple in color, came just to above the knee and was slimming with a deep v neck. Passing was something I was hoping for but clearly would not be the case for my new friend. But she made no apologies for who she was and her gregarious nature won over anyone whom she encountered that night. I learned  a lot from her that night. You are who you are in body shape. Embrace it, but know you can change some things.

My male body is square but fortunately not stocky. I’ve maintained my weight with diet and exercise. I’ve worked hard at shaping my bum and abdominals muscles.  The feminine body image I want to create is more of an athletic hourglass figure. I don’t want the excessive hourglass figure but a slimmer version. My bra band size would be 36″, my waist is 30″, and my hips 38″with hip pads. There are online sites which can give you ideal measurements in inches for your height. An easy way to consider shape, if your waist is 34″ your bra band might be 40″and your hips with pads might be 42-44″.Generally speaking if you take your waist size add 6 inches that will be your bra band size. If you add 6- 8 inches from your waist size, this will be your hip size. The most significant physical difference for men and women is their hips and bust. To achieve the feminine shape, you need to reduce your waist size. I don’t use a corset band but they can be very effective. I personally find them to uncomfortable to wear when dressing. I’d sooner diet and exercise besides, I feel better for it. By now in your crossdressing life, most all of you have acquired breast forms.. If you haven’t done so, do it now, you won’t regret it. But don’t think huge DD’s stick to B and C cup size. If you want to pass as a women it is best to select an item most women are likely to wear and are realistic. Don’t expect to go to shopping at the mall in a mini skirt, high heels and a tight fitting top holding your DD’s thinking you are going to pass. Check the online fitting guideline of the dress you order. I have hip pads made for me from an online site in the USA. They fit well, are worth the price and have stood the test of time. I also bought a high waist shaping panty with built in pads which I have modified and added to them. My choices for a feminine figure are: 1.)  a full coverage bra ( not a push up bra).  2.) high waisted panty with padding. 3.)   a shaping teddy which is snug along the my torso and waistline. Remember, your trying to create a feminine body image and to do so you need to pull in your waist, push out the your bust and hips. It may not look as sexy in the mirror in your as a flirtatious  garter belt and panty set, but this is about body image and shaping.  Your efforts at body shaping will be worth it when you slip on that new dress!!  Once I have my body shaping garments in place, it’s time, I tear open the Amazon package and shimmyy into it, stride over to the mirror and decide if it’s a keeper or a charity gift.

En Femme Style




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Catharine Connall
Active Member
1 month ago

Thank you for this Melissa. It is nice to read articles by a fellow Canadian. Oh, and there is no such thing as too many heels.

Sheryl Woods
16 days ago

Thank you Melissa, for such an excellent article! You verified for me what I discovered myself. It’s soooo fun to wear tight miniskirts and sexy lingerie, but that’s not what everyday clothes are. Cis women do the same thing. They shop and try on and buy all these sexy and glamerous clothes but when they go grocery shopping the wear t-shirts and blue jeans! So I put on hip pads and blue jeans and LOVE what I see in the mirror! Thanks for validating my thoughts,

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