Has your desire to Crossdress gotten stronger as you have aged?

I am curious as to others urges to Cross Dress becoming stronger and more powerful as you have gotten older? Do you want to dress more often now vs when you were younger?

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  • Yes I feel the desire to Crossdress with more frequency as I have aged?
  • My urges to Crossdress have stayed about the same as they always have?
  • My urges are not as strong as they used to be?
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    • #396758
      Sazza Symons
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      Yesssss 100%

      When younger, like most, you have the self doubt, worry of being caught, even…am I gay??

      As I have “matured” haha…I have become so confident that ” this is me”, I know I’m not gay…. I’m just grace having the time of her life, even being caught…..just a WTF moment….. as Queen sang 🎶don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time, I’m having a ball🎶…….and as Gen remarked earlier….” What a wonderful journey’

      Huggs everyone, grace ❤️❤️

      At no point in my life have I ever thought I was gay. BUT, that’s the first thing people generally think about crossdressers. That they’re gay men. WRONG.

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    • #396630
      Carica Butts
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      I don’t want to dress up more, cuz I’d rather be a young girl. At 64 I don’t pass as much as when I was a pretty boy. However, many friends and loved ones are gone; and for that reason I really don’t have anyone anymore who would be embarrassed. That would be the only reason I’d want to dress up more, and these days, even go out dressed up. Mmm…I think I’ll go out today. Even if I don’t pass P-)

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    • #396516
      Caty Ryan
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      For me .not so much a stronger urge, more cos I’ve been long retired and therefore have the time and $$$ to indulge more. (COvid lockdowns notwithstanding).

      After starting out with my mother’s clothes, I’ve been Caty with some form or other of her own wardrobe and accessories since my mid30’s. “Way back then” she could only emerge on business trips in a hotel room.

      These days when she can, she’s has professional makeovers and goes shopping, just like any other “mature lady ”

      But until we’ve knocked over this “Bug” that’s all on hold.

      Happy dressing

      Caty

       

       

       

       

       

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    • #396425
      Grace Scarlett
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      Yesssss 100%

      When younger, like most, you have the self doubt, worry of being caught, even…am I gay??

      As I have “matured” haha…I have become so confident that ” this is me”, I know I’m not gay…. I’m just grace having the time of her life, even being caught…..just a WTF moment….. as Queen sang 🎶don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time, I’m having a ball🎶…….and as Gen remarked earlier….” What a wonderful journey’

      Huggs everyone, grace ❤️❤️

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    • #396379
      Emily
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      I chose yes, the urge has gotten stronger. But, I’m not sure that is completely the case. I do indeed dress more often, but I feel the reason s because it feels more “normal” to me. It feels more like who I should be. I used to almost do what I would call panic dressing. I couldn’t wait to be alone, rip off my drab clothes and get dressed fully female. Now the rush to dress is not so much drastic, but calming, relaxing, and necessary for my mental health. I am rambling trying to explain this in a way that makes some sort of sense. Not sure I have succeeded. Thanks for asking the question!

      Emily

      • #396650
        stephanie plumb
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        Dear Emily, it feels “normal” now, because that’s exactly what it is!

        Repetitive “gender events” over a long time period create new feminine neural pathways in the brain. Neurologists quote around 10,000 repetitions are required to achieve this. So every little femme thing you do adds to the count.

        Congrats girl! You have rewired your brain to be more female.

        Stephanie P

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    • #396336
      Susan Sue
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      Yes very much for me. I remember trying on girls clothes when I was very young child. As a young adult the need to dress up as a girl was always there but I went through long periods of time without girl time. Now in my 60’s I am dressing at least once a week and I think about it every day and would dress everyday if I could. My fantasy’s to be female have gotten much stronger.

    • #396311
      Jannie Murry
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      It seems to me that wanting to crossdress has gotten to be more than it used to since I have gotten older. I don’t know why except that I have more free time now than I used to and its easier to find time for Janine time. The only thing that has changed is the clothes that I wear now. I wear clothing more for my age now than I used to, but occasionally I still like wearing a short skirt that shows off my legs. I’m more into jeans than I used to be and I enjoy wearing a tight fitting pair of jeans that shows off my figure like Levi skinny jeans do. I love the way that they look and they make me feel so feminine and girly

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    • #396004
      Heather Harrison
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      The urge to dress and work on accessing my feminine side has gotten stronger.

      I think part of this is I’m retired and no longer have to deal with coworkers and the whole job thing. I don’t have a clue as to how many more years I have on this planet, but I want to make those years count.

      The other part is a slight shift in society. With more acceptance of alternative lifestyles today, it feels more safe than it used to be. Having a wonderful place like CDH is a godsend.

    • #395999
      Kelly Terry
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      (A lot of posts that I need to take time to read but I feel a strong urge to reply my self)
      I been interested in crossdressing at different levels since early teens. In the beginning I collected a small pile of stuff that I purged with each move I did.

      Then marriage, kids and life became more important so the cd had to be on the back burner for a long while. I still had a few things that I used now and then but it could be months between each time.

      Now I’m older (>50) and kids moved out I feel the urge much stronger. In 2018 it was strong enough that I did dare the step of joining CDH. For that I felt the need to come up with a name for my female side and I picked “Kelly” because I wanted something unisex. (the good part with that is that when I talk to my wife I can talk about “Kelly” instead of “when I crossdress …”)
      Just this last years I have left the closet more and more. Earlier I had the fear of being caught as Kelly but now when I’m older I don’t really care to much any more if family or friends find out about Kelly, and I almost hope it will happen, then I have more freedom.

      Is to why now – probably several things already said like hormone changes, more time, more secure with my self and such but really – why try to analyse it? I just think that the easiest way to deal with a temptation is to fall for it so now I enjoy exploring Kelly as much as I can.

       

      /kt

    • #395992
      karley delaware
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      Hi Vanity Fair, yes my cd urges have increased as I have gotten older.  In my younger days, it was a quick dress up, sexual release followed my guilt, shame and extreme secrecy .  These days I dress for longer periods wanting to experience  the feeling of being femme, being bolder in going outside, thinking femme, followed by sexual release with NO shame or guilt.

      So why is that? Well, when I was younger , I was programed to think of sexual identity as binary…………….but with life experience and a changing society, it is really a spectrum.  CDH has helped catapult me from binary to full spectrum thinking.  The girls here with their wisdom, sharing experience and friendships has helped put me on a “fast track” to help “make up” lost time.

      My therapist has commented CD is more common than  one might think and is a matter of degree.  Maybe some really “macho”  guys are hiding that struggle, the Blue/Pink mental war  with their A-holiness?

      This site is such a refuge from being mentally “beat up” out there.  At lot of times in the closet I imagine me and the others here having an outing laughing and being silly girls.  It REALLY HURTS me when a girl suddenly leave this site.  I know life as CD can be……complicated……….it’s the not knowing that eats me…………….I have known four, and I continue to think about them…………..I guess that’s one painful aspect of being a girl……………relationships mean so much.   Guys could never understand how deep and painful that is……………………..karley

    • #395977
      Lea
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      Yes, my urges to dress have become stronger. I no longer think of stopping, I think of that day of being free someday.

       

      Reasons…

      1. Knowing I’m not alone, weird, crazy. Thank you CDH, the internet, and more awareness out there.

      2. More confidence. Crossdressing and age have made me a more confident person at home, work, many things I try

      3. No longer wanting to lose good years. Lesson learned from many others stories on here, don’t let life go by

    • #395975
      Laura Jane Moore
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      Definitely stronger. Maybe even a bit obsessive with me….. I just placed three orders yesterday for various tops, skirts, dresses…..shapewear…etc. I am wasting no time now after having repressed my feminine side for many years….

    • #395957
      Patty Phose
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      I’ve been wearing stockings, pantyhose, heels and bras since I was 4. I was fortunate in that I had female family member support. I so wanted heels and dresses in my size, but mom thought if dad found them we would both be in big trouble, so I was limited in what I could have. So instead of a dress, I would wear  shirt that looked like a short dress. I would look in magazines and department store catalogues, seeing all the wonderful pantyhose, stockings, garters, lingerie, shoes and pretty dresses. I wanted them all and dreamed of having them.

      When I was 11 or 12, I outgrew the heels and bras I had been borrowing. I so wanted my own. At 13, I began buying my own pantyhose. I loved sheer to waist ad that was all I wanted to wear. New pantyhose was wonderful. No runs or holes, and new pantyhose had an extra special look and feel to them that disappeared after the first wearing. I loved getting new pantyhose. Still, I wanted all the clothes. I wanted the bras, panties, dresses and shoes too. All I was wearing was my pantyhose with a shirt.

      Then when I was 17 I saw Daisy Duke. I had to wear what she was wearing. I had to look like her, I had to be her. I couldn’t wait anymore. I went out and bought several pairs of short shorts and platform wedge heels. I was totally euphoric when I wore them with my sheer to waist pantyhose. I hid the shorts under other clothes in my draws and hid the shoes in the trunk of my car. I would put on my pantyhose and short shorts and hurry out to my car. Then I would put on  pair of the platform wedges and go driving around really enjoying my Daisy like legs. Soon after, I got the urge and desire to get out of the car. I would just opened the door a bit at first, then open it more. Then I would get out and  stand there. Then walk around the car. Then go venturing further until I was actually close enough to people where I could be seen. That was so exciting.

      I began doing it more and getting bolder. I had some teeny athletic shorts that I didn’t have the nerve to wear out. I also had some long shirts I enjoyed wearing that looked like short dresses. I wanted to wear them out but with sheer to waist pantyhose, but. if the shorts happened to creep up, that could be bad. I began wearing the shirts with the teeny shorts. The teeny shorts became like my panties. I began growing my hair longer. I was going en femme inspired by Daisy.

      With my sheer to waist pantyhose, teeny panty shorts, dress like shirt and platform wedges and longer hair, I wasn’t fully like Daisy but I was closer. I definitely had the desire to go out dressed like that, but it took a long time to get the nerve. I did it a little at a time, getting a  little bolder each time. What I  considered my ultimate triumph and accomplishment was going into a store in that attire and buying more pantyhose. I chickened out a lot but I finally did it. I was so nervous and so excited. I began going out in that attire often. I was always nervous but wanted to feel that excitement. I got bolder. I began looking at all the other great fem clothes I dreamed of having one day. I began trying on sexy stilettos. I had to have them one day. I was often very scared and nervous when doing this but the excitement and thrill was too much to resist.

      Then one day it all came crashing down. I was in my sheer to waist pantyhose, teeny shorts and platform wedges. I had picked out a bunch of pantyhose I was going to buy. A girl told me she liked my pantyhose and asked if what I was wearing was what I was buying. I panicked. I put down the pantyhose and hurried out of the store, got into my car and drove home, swearing I would never do that again. After a few days and thinking about what had happened, I thought I could have handled it better. I was just taken by surprise. I wasn’t expecting to get asked about my pantyhose. I went back to the same store in the same attire and bought the pantyhose I left behind. I was hoping to get asked about my pantyhose again. It took while but I did get compliments on my shoes, pantyhose and having nice legs and got asked if the pantyhose I was wearing was what I was buying. At first it was very scary but I didn’t run off. I began to look forward to getting noticed. I seemed to get mistaken more often then not for being a girl. I guess with my longish hair and what I was wearing it shouldn’t have been to much of a surprise. I even met a few girls who realized I was a guy but liked how I looked. I even got a few dates out of it, including a girl who helped me go fully en femme and my wife.

      My dad was not pleased with my longer hair. He said I looked like a girl. If only he knew. For me I was trying to look more femme. I was trying to look like and be like Daisy Duke, while hiding my pantyhose, short shorts and platform wedges.

      When I turned 18, I got my own place and began buying ll the femme clothes I had wanted so bad for so long. The wonderful pantyhose, the stockings, garters, lingerie, bras, panties, pretty dresses and I finally got my Daisy Duke wigs. I was in a store one day buying some more pantyhose, bras and some panties. A girl behind me noticed my legs in my pantyhose and noticed what I was buying. She asked me if the pantyhose I was buying is what I was wearing. When I turned to answer her, she was surprised I was a guy. She noticed it in my voice. She was intrigued with my attire and my interest in the other things I was buying. She helped me develop my Daisy Duke character and was great at doing and helping me with my makeup.

      Then we went to a college Halloween party where I unveiled my Daisy Duke character calling myself Debbie Daniels. I was a big hit. I got lots of compliments on my costume and character. I got hit on quite aggressively all night by guys and girls. I met other dressers there who invited me to join them at their parties. And I won “best legs” and “sexiest costume”. It was an incredible night and amazing experience. I began going to all the parties. I was even venturing out on my own for brief errands, and walks in places I felt was safe. I even cut my hair shorter so my Daisy Duke style wigs would fit better. My dad was pleased I was finally getting rid of my girly look. If only he knew why I cut my hair.

      I had been dressing fully en femme a couple of years. I often went out in my sheer to waist pantyhose, short shorts and platform wedges. I didn’t quite have the nerve to go out fully en femme. It was partially femme. My androgynous look. I met a girl one day while out androgynous. She noticed my legs looked so nice, shiny and smooth. I noticed her legs too looking like that. I thought she was wearing pantyhose. I wanted a closer look. When we passed each other I could see she was. I wanted another look. to see her from the back. When I turned, she had turned too. we exchanged smiles. I managed a feeble hi. She told me my legs look so nice. Shiny, tan and smooth. I thanked her and told her I was wearing pantyhose. She was intrigued. She never heard of guys wearing pantyhose, but thought they should. It makes their legs look so much better. Then I complimented her on her legs and pantyhose. She told me he likes to wear them. Her legs just look so much better.

      We hit it off very well. we spent a lot of time together. Then a couple of weeks later she surprised me showing up at my place. I was surprised and happy to see her. I invited her in, forgetting about the femme clothes I had lying about. She noticed them and her attitude changed. She thought I lived with a woman and was going to leave. I figured since she already knew I wore pantyhose and platform wedges she might be accepting of my other attire. i told her the clothes were mine. I wear then for fun and to parties. Sometimes I wear them out. I know it’s silly but I find it exciting and fun. She seemed suspicious but asked me to show her.

      I went in the bedroom and put on one of my favorite and sexiest costumes with full make up. When I stepped out she was stunned. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She liked it. I was often dressed as Patty when she came over. One day she suggested we go out shopping together as girlfriends. In my couple of years of dressing and going out fully en femme, it had been in safe places, not the real world. This would be a whole new step. I was very nervous.

      I walked from the house to the car. I was nervous but I had done that countless times before. driving to the mall I was nervous too but I had been out dressed and driving many times also. parking and seeing all the people around made me really nervous. I was scared to get out of the car. I was worried but being seen. I just wanted to drive away. After some coercing I opened the door and slowly stood up. I looked around. So many people. I was looking for reactions. I didn’t notice any. I grabbed my purse and shut the car door. We began walking towards the entrance. I was scared. I didn’t even want to know if anyone was looking at me. I stopped at the entrance. I was scared to go in. Once inside I was trapped. At least outside I had a chance of escaping to the car. We walked into the mall. The place was mobbed. I began looking around seeing if any danger was coming. I noticed some people looking our way. Were they seeing a pretty young girl and a guy in a dress? Or two pretty, young and leggy girls? No one seemed to be bothering us so we continued. I was beginning to get excited about being out fully femme. When we went into store and began looking at all the pretty and sexy femme items, I was so excited about getting and wearing them. That day we both got  lot of new and wonderful things.

      We began going out more as girlfriends. I would ask if I should go as Patty or my male self. She told me to do what ever I wanted. I stopped asking and just went as Patty most of the time. we seemed to have more fun and there was always that special little shopping trip where we got some more special clothes. we were not just boyfriend and girlfriend. We were girlfriends too. Today I still dress as Patty nearly everyday. We are still girlfriends and still go out as such, but not nearly as often as we used to. as much fun and exciting as it is, I don’t need the far and anxiety that often comes with it. We are more selective of where and when we go out.

      Sorry for the long story.  I get carried away at times.

    • #395943
      Rei Durden
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      Absolute more as I’ve aged!

      I chalk it up to self awareness/acceptance and learning how not to give a ‘curse word’ about others opinions and judgement.

      Not everyone gains wisdom as they age, but some do.

    • #395907
      Lee Ann Rakers
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      You described me perfectly, Stephanie.

      Lee Ann

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    • #395760
      Vanity Fair
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      I will say that some of the posts I have seen on CDH talks about dressing as a stress relief. For me that is so true, when things go bad at work and pressure is high, I can slip a cute dress on and my stress level goes way down. I am no scientist or highly educated researcher, but I can personally attest to cross dressing taking my mind off of whatever is causing me grief during my daily life. I do want to dress and be feminine more and more everyday..

    • #395753
      Stevie Steiner
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      The urge to crossdress has been pretty consistent for quite some time now.  I do not think the desire has increased ( it’s always been high ), but the opportunities to crossdress have increased much more.  Certainly the opportunity to indulge my urges has increased, but the urge itself has always been there since those were the kind of clothes I always wanted, and felt I should be wearing in the first place.

      Stevie

    • #395743
      Jennifer Swanson
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      With age, women’s testosterone levels increase significantly, while those of men drop. Eventually, with increasing age, everyone’s testosterone levels decrease.

      I think the desire to dress increases as we age, due in part to our biology.  I became very interested when I turned 65, partly out of  availability and partly out of desire.

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    • #395734
      JOJO
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      As I got older I became much more confident in my dressing. I believe that it is part of an ongoing process that develops over time and you build upon that process.

    • #395633
      Claire Woods
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      I have been reading the poles and forums on here and other sites for years it intrigues me me to here other peoples thoughts and life events that crossdress as I’m sure it dose for many of you.

      I’m no expert nut in this case here is what i think causes us to dress more as time goes on.

      1 – We have come to terms with our fem side and don’t fight it.

      2 – The world is changing and we are more accepted we feel liberated and free to dress.

      3 – We condition ourselves to be fem more and more, even in our drab male cloths hiding our silk and lace panties and thongs so we have a 24 7 connection to being a crossdresser.

      4 – W are making up for the world repressing us in our early years.

      5 – We have gotten good at it.

      6 – Most of us have come out to wives and family, as soon as this happens it’s why not.

      7 – We have by now achieved a rather hefty wardrobe,

      8 – As time goes on you get a little less excited unlike mabie as teenagers it would always end in self pleasure and mabie finding it hard to resist it causing dressing to stop earlier then you set out for , this act makes dressing feel not just wrong but dirty and perverted to, Take this away and you have a peaceful elegant unhurried time to be yourself .

      9 – The internet happened OK there’s more porn online about transgenders than anything else now but if you look around safely you find safe havens like this one, where you can come and feel normal and see not only are you not alone you are far from being abnormal 1 in a thousand or so that you thought, not only that but your part of a group of people that as it turns out are kind Loving sweet and caring people wanting to accept you in to the family and help you all the way.

      10 – The internet happened Ok thats twice lol, but it’s true growing up apart from negative jokes you saw hardly anything positive or normal about crossdressers – transgender or gay people and you were all classed as the same whether you liked it or not. there were no safe places to find information about these things like today, using it we can also buy cloths breast forms guffs corsets wigs even feminin prescription glasses to your door.

       

      We are from an age where what we are was taboo, Like many Gay men marrying as it is the right thing to do, just like them we repressed our feelings and tried to live a normal male life.

      The kids today have access to not just the internet but books magazine articles, tv documentaries, counseling in school, there Doctor as everything is so open now even talking to friends.

      Which is why you will see very few crossdressing young people on the net in the closet so to speak as they have not grown up with the hang ups we had, trying to battle our own demons be our own counselor therapist and confidon’t, the world has changed for the better.

       

      we are now fighting the feelings we had to live with growing up and we are slowly winning the fight xxx

       

    • #395632
      Kelli Marlowe
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      I clicked yes, but in my case, there are others reasons to crossdress more…empty nest, currently without a girlfriend, working almost exclusively from home.More opportunity=more crossdressing!

    • #395624
      Kay Anderson
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      I think as I have aged, that I have come to accept my true self and shed the false shell of being masculine. I voted yes.

      Kay

    • #395623
      Lee Ann Rakers
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      Hey Vanity,

      I’m gender fluid and if I like women so much, why not look like one.

      For me it is pretty simple, being a woman, or at least trying to be one, is better place for me. It is truly my comfort zone.

      Lee Ann

       

       

    • #395621
      stephanie plumb
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      What a great poll!   Thanks for this Vanity!

      The answer is in line with some posts that I am currently working on about the neurological basis as to why we are crossdressers/transgenders. I shall follow the responses with great interest.

      Lower testosterone levels may be part of the reason. I have not looked into this, so can’t give any details.

      I believe  the real reason is  ……    wait for it ……  The  “Pink Fog.”

      Yes… that phenomenon we all joke about. I believe there is more of a scientific basis for it than most of us  realise.

      Genevieve has hit the nail on the head with the word Euphoric. The “state of excitement and pleasure and the feelings of well being and happiness.”  This is the emotion that the “pink fog” brings out in us when we immerse ourselves in our feminine side.  I don’t want to say too much right now, because one of the posts I am going to do is precisely about this.

      But briefly,  this state of euphoria, over a long period of time, enables our brain to build new neural  pathways  –  we rewire our brain to be more feminine!  The result?   We want to experience our femininity more and more.

      It can also be explained  like this –  it is  a “habituation feedback loop.”  The more we do it the more we want to do it.    Which I believe is the same thing as the “pink fog” effect.

      Stephanie P

    • #395620
      Lee Ann Rakers
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      Hi everyone,

      July 30th, 1947

      I am exploding with femininity! I just finished a long message with my bestie talking about all my wonderful feminine wants.

      Wow!

      Lee Ann

      • #395629
        stephanie plumb
        Participant
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 88
        Replies: 782
        Has thanked: 889 times
        Been thanked: 2656 times

         

        Exploding with femininity.  What a wonderful way to put it.

        It’s exactly how I feel too!  It fill’s my head all the time. I can’t stop logging into CDH  for a fix. Or Amazon, yet again,  to feverishly browse the clothes and all things femme.  Unfortunately I have no one to talk to about it, other than you girls here on CDH.  Which is wonderful and keeps the explosion under control.

        Stephanie P

    • #395604
      Genevïeve
      Participant
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 139
      Has thanked: 1985 times
      Been thanked: 568 times

      Hi Vanity…

      I’m 56 (57 next month) and have found that my desires to wear feminine clothing/bling and to be girly in general, to be very strong in the past 5-6 years.

      Have only been wearing makeup for the past 2 years, and more recently, jewlery/perfume.

      As many of the beautiful ladies at CDH have mentioned… CDing is a journey (life is a journey). Each ‘journey’ is different.

      The poll results are indicating that we do, in fact, have stronger dressing desires as we get older… why this is, I am not sure. Possibly, as we mature, we feel more comfortable with ourselves and are more accepting of our desires/feelings/emotions, and are more willing to act on them…

      The feelings/emotions that I experience when I am Genevïeve are Euphoric. I did not have such strong feelings when I was younger…

      What a wondeful ‘Journey’…

      Gen 💋

       

       

      • #395626
        stephanie plumb
        Participant
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 88
        Replies: 782
        Has thanked: 889 times
        Been thanked: 2656 times

        Genevieve  – you hit on the answer with your use of the word ‘Euphoric.’  Please read my response to this poll so I don’t have to repeat it all here.

        Stephanie P

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395583
      T.J. Byron
      Participant
      Registered On: October 18, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 220
      Has thanked: 1516 times
      Been thanked: 744 times

      Now at 74, I get out with friends,3-5 X per month. I have been out in public since the 1960’s, in my 20’s.

      My wife is giving a Formal Tea for all my girlfriends and Their Wives, next week. That would never have happened years ago!

      Dr.T.J.

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