- No94.12%16 votes
- Yes5.88%1 vote
- This topic has 14 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by .
I hope you are doing good and staying safe. I happened to stumble upon this portal and I am really glad to see many people getting to know, support and admire each other and I couldn’t just put it into words on how much I felt both excited and relieved about it- knowing the fact that there are people here who can relate my feelings to.
First of all, I need to let out a few things out first. I am a guy originating from the sub-continent who cross-dresses occasionally whenever I get a chance. I am thirty years old now and I am no way close to being referred to as a trans person.
If you are still reading this and if you are still interested in what I am sharing here with you, I should consider myself lucky. So here are some other deal breakers, which I hope would keep you from reading further. I am married to a wife and we have a son, who is a toddler. I am not looking for a relationship here. I am not looking for hookups here. I am looking for a friend with whom I can be the person I wanted to be. Oh, also, I am near the border of Virginia and DC, if that matters. And to those it may matter – I am a heavy person weighing around two hundred and fifty pounds and I am five foot eight inch taller. Yes, it is not perfect for a man to be that heavy and still trying to be on the other side of the spectrum, I am very well aware of it and I am doing my best to work on my weight right now.
Okay, thanks for making it so far. So here is what I am looking for here. Although I am married, I can never let my wife know about what I actually feel. I know a few of you might have been in the same boat, and you may have crossed this stage with utmost courage. To those who might assume that I am cheating my wife with this second life of mine – Please understand that I tried many times to talk to her regarding how a person can suffer by quoting some examples around. She cannot understand what I am going through because she comes from the same conservative background, as that of me, and I know how hard it is for her to accept and realize these feelings. So, instead of forcing my feelings to her, I am waiting for her to explore the world and understand me.
Another aspect that changed and delayed my decision is because of my son. He is too young to understand what is happening around him and I do not want to spoil his childhood for my sake. I personally feel that I do not have that right to spoil his childhood and I am willing to wait until he would be of age to understand that his father may not relate himself as a man. So, for me to even start the life I want to have, I would probably end up in my mid to late forties.
I have told myself multiple times that I could be able to wait, but every day, I am feeling much lonelier. So, here I am, seeking for a friend to share my feelings with and if possible talk to. I wouldn’t be against to meet, but given the current situation at home and given that we are all forced to work from home, I have no way to talk or meet in personal. Please do understand that if we ever happen to meet, I might end up meeting you as a male, but I would want to at least dress up, if situation permits as a girl. I may be getting ahead of myself with all these, but to start with, I am seeking a genuine and warm person of any gender who I can share my feelings with.
One more thing that I want to add here is that- I previously tried to make some friends in some other portal and everyone seemed to be consider this as a fetish way of looking at things. Yet, one person stood out from the group and he seemed like a warm person. Yet, we couldn’t feel connected as we didn’t have anything to talk about. It was a weird situation to be in. I like to cook and I am trying to learn baking soon as well. I am not very great at make up, but I know the basics just enough.
If you have made it so far and if you are interested to have me as your friend, I would consider myself very lucky.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.