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  • #543432
    Michelle McQueen
    Participant
    Registered On: June 14, 2021
    Topics: 12
    Replies: 404
    Has thanked: 1511 times
    Been thanked: 1963 times

    No, I’m not talking about what you’re thinking.. lol. What I’m talking about is the overall size of our bodies in general. Tall, short, fat, skinny, wide shoulders, narrow shoulders, big hands, small hands, etc. Its all about our physical body size.

    Most women just aren’t that big especially in height. We males are usually just larger all over and it can be a big red flag dressed in public no matter what we wear or how much makeup we apply. Its not something we can hide. I read some girls here who go out enfemme all the time and I wonder if they are smaller in stature which would make it more easy to blend in…. idk. Maybe its just me because I’m a big guy but I just adore petite women. They always look so cute to me and I wish I were their size.

    I’m 6ft 1in, 200lbs, with broad shoulders, big hands and feet so I’ve always wished I were shorter and much smaller in stature so I could present female more easily. A tall male is fine for getting things off the top shelf for ladies at the grocery store but a hinderance at being a cute female. Being so tall and large its not possible to cover that up so I’m spotted easily as a male even fully dressed at my best. Maybe at least seen as an Amazonian woman a head above most everyone else. Forget about any size heels. Flats, sneakers, or at most kitten heels are about all I can wear outside of the bedroom without bumping my head on door jambs. If I were shorter I could wear my 4in pumps that I love. Oh to be less. Having smaller feet would open up a much wider selection of heels.

    So has anyone wished they were shorter, smaller, in order to pass more feminine? I know there is nothing to be done but accept what we have so how can us tall girls make our size more feminine?

    Ok, useless rant over…. life just isn’t fair…. sigh

Viewing 19 reply threads
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    • #544731
      Michelle Skylar
      Lady
      Registered On: March 18, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 24
      Has thanked: 5 times
      Been thanked: 76 times

      I’m 6’9” 215lbs. In heels think, Attack of the 50Ft Woman. I would love just to be able to buy a pair of women’s skinny jeans or any jeans for that matter.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #543819
      Marti
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 33
      Replies: 491
      Has thanked: 1956 times
      Been thanked: 2004 times

      Hi Michelle,

      It’s easy for me to empathise. The same sort of thoughts re-occur to me from time to time. I’m 6 ft as well

      My advice is pragmatism. We are what we are and can only work on whatever  cards  nature dealt us.

      Anyway, at least in my case, being my age, high heels should be considered a health risk. A twisted or broken ankle is an accident waiting to happen. But I still enjoy my one pair of killer heels, which I can cope with for two microseconds at a time. When I’m sat down in my favourite chair, I find doing a bit of heel dangling is such a simple pleasure.

      Marti xxx

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543677
      Beth Green
      Lady
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 455
      Has thanked: 2406 times
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      I truly feel for you. Being on the opposite end of the spectrum I have issues that only short people experience. The issues are opposite but cause just as much anguish. I’m 5’4″, 135 lbs and loosing. (goal is 125) Shoes: women’s 7, dress: 10-12, bra: 36 without forms, 38 with forms (I also use smaller forms than most, like to keep it appropriately petite), even panties are small to x-small. I’m always the smallest in any group I’m in although lately I have been equal or taller than some of the women due to 4″ heels. (That’s a huge ego boost!) The smaller size makes it easier to look feminine but getting a proper fit is still a problem. The male form in small or large frame still has broader shoulders, barrel chest, narrow hips and no butt. I’m closer to a women’s frame but still have to work at it.

      Anyway, be you large or small it’s a lot of work to be a woman, but oh so worth it.

      Beth

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543666
      Octavia Long
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 53
      Replies: 128
      Has thanked: 812 times
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      I am smaller. 5’8” and have not been on a scale for a while. Last time was 175 but nothing fits now so I am hoping that I am less. I wish that I had hips and a butt.  These are true girl struggles. No matter how good we look it will never be good enough. Pass or not. I know genetic girls that struggle with the same issues that we are dealing with.
      ❤️ Octavia

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543657
      Kyra Kascade
      Lady
      Registered On: August 31, 2021
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 55
      Has thanked: 250 times
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      Oh wow, I feel this so much!

      Biggest hurdle that has me worried to try and pass in public.

      6’4″ 210 (currently, working my way down to 190 – was at 250ish this time last year)

      Large hands, big feet, broad shoulders, and arms that definitely don’t look feminine. I’ll just have to settle with being amazonian in feature when en femme.

      Making great progress with only doing feminine workouts to try and shape/sculpt but its a slow process.

      Some day I’ll get there

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543652
      JillianW
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 13, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 253
      Has thanked: 736 times
      Been thanked: 995 times

      Hi Michelle,

      I think a lot of us have the same problem. I’m 6’2” and 195. However I’m lucky to have rather narrow shoulders, small hands and feet. I now can easily wear a size 14 and size 11 shoes so I have little problem buying clothes.

      Hugs, Jillian

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543608
      Jamie Williams
      Lady
      Registered On: July 26, 2021
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 173 times
      Been thanked: 450 times

      I’m 6’1” as well, but pushing 245 pounds. Honestly, I wish more that I could lose the belly and handles. My height really doesn’t bother me. It’s my girth.

      But I can’t pass as female anyway, so I just go out as I feel. It’s all about confidence, I think. Nobody has yet questioned why a big guy is wearing a skirt. Lol.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543604
      Leslie
      Lady
      Registered On: September 14, 2020
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 289
      Has thanked: 3101 times
      Been thanked: 1267 times

      I’m 75 so I don’t really pass too well. And I am 6’2” and 220 pounds. But oh god do I feel good dressed!!! I was shocked the other day in the grocery store to run into a young lady taller than me, so maybe we aren’t so strange? And have you ever seem pictures of janaemeriekroc ( look her up on Facebook) ! Granted she has fully transitioned with facial surgery but even when she was transitioning before the surgery she was a heck of a looking girl. The is also a documentary about her online. If you think you have issues passing, think again.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543571
      Charlene Victoria
      Lady
      Registered On: November 29, 2016
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 142
      Has thanked: 739 times
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      I have often thought how blessed I am in this regards. I am 5’9″ (probably a bit shorter now at my age [66]). A year and a half ago I studied what a cis-woman of my height and build (38″ chest) should weigh and what her BMI should be. The charts put the upper number at about 165 lbs. I made that my goal, started KETO and am almost there (started at 210 @ 170 now) I lost 6″ + in my waist (now @ 42), lost breast tissue which before could nicely fill an A cup bra or look really nice in a padded B cup. I now have no butt to speak of and have a thin older looking male face.

      Ha, so I almost achieved my weight goal for a woman of my height and build but what is left is distributed errantly. (Waist is still at least 4″ bigger than my liking.)

      No matter what we do we are not genetic women. Never will be, but there is hope. I am sure that foundation garment manufacturers don’t offer their products counting on their profits to come predominantly from the trans community. No ladies, I suspect there are multitudes of cis-women who  buy and use hip, butt,  and breast forms, inserts, corsets etc. They like we are not completely happy with what genetics has given them. I suppose we like they must learn to take what we have and do our best with it. And what’s left over we must learn to manage even as our genetic sisters do.

      Blessings,

      Charlene

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543545
      Olivia Livin
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 51
      Replies: 1700
      Has thanked: 8781 times
      Been thanked: 4730 times

      Hi Michelle

      I too am 6′ 200lb, other than the difficulty of finding a decent variety of shoes in my size, I’m ok with it. Although I’ve always been somewhat drawn to more petite women, I’ve also met more than a few larger ones that were quite striking in their appearance, alot can be said for proper ‘packaging’.

      As Robyn Drake said, its usually a matter of our own personal mental placement in all of this. I don’t (ok….rarely) dress to create an illusion for others to admire, but rather to have my inner feelings visually expressed. Because I am now more confident with who I am, my feelings show through and I’m more readily accepted. I have had times when I’ve dressed in what I internally envisioned as being as cute as a button and had someone I meet use those same words back to me.

      Olivia

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543528
      Darcy Grigsby
      Lady
      Registered On: July 1, 2020
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 119
      Has thanked: 14 times
      Been thanked: 651 times

      I am 5’9″ and 180#’s….so I have it easier than some it sounds. I have a fairly broad chest requiring a 40 band size. Thankfully I have very small hands for a male.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543511
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 382
      Has thanked: 1037 times
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      So, y’all come on over to the west coast of Michigan (think Saugatuck…and just north).  You will all fit in quite nicely with the rather tall girls that are already here.  For a gen male, I’m rather just a tiny bit above average but walking down the ‘downtown’ sidewalk, well, I feel rather small.  Now neither me nor my spouse are dutch, but  one daughter (who lives way south, btw) is taller than both of us and she would easily fit in here.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543508
      Jen Scarlet
      Lady
      Registered On: May 2, 2021
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 105
      Has thanked: 832 times
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      I am jealous of your height Michelle! I am not sure anyone is individually happy with themselves!

      Times are changing and women are getting generally getting taller and broader (for which I am eternally grateful as it makes more shoes available that fit me!).

      Of all the women in my life, only one was under six foot. And I’m only 5′ 10″ myself.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543501
      Elise Michelle
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 3, 2018
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 326
      Has thanked: 404 times
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      I’m with you Michelle. Six feet tall and about 225 lbs. Broad shoulders, barrel chest, arms like an ape. Lol.  As a guy it serves me well. But in femme mode, not so much. Wish I was smaller too.

      Hugs,

      Elise

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543491
      Robyn Drake
      Ambassador
      Registered On: March 19, 2019
      Topics: 52
      Replies: 561
      Has thanked: 817 times
      Been thanked: 1616 times

      Hi Michelle,

      I’m 6′ 4 1/2″, around 225 pounds, always an athlete, so I have broad shoulders a large frame and well muscled. As I age I am losing some muscle mass but that is a slow process. So what do I do with this? I dress in a way that my outer self is congruent with my inner self. I think that an important aspect of your discussion is the question “why do I dress?”. Do I dress to assume the costume of a woman, to pass as a woman, to be a woman, for the thrill of sexual excitement, for self expression? For me, it has evolved into the latter. If I am dressing so that my outside is congruent with my inside, then passing does not matter. I know that I am going to get clocked instantly and I need to be comfortable with that when I am out in public. I love wearing 3-4″ heels, flowery blouses, makeup. It can sometimes be a struggle to own my space. But I have come to realize that when I feel the struggle, it is myself that I am reacting to, not anyone else.

      – Robyn

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543488
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 2473
      Has thanked: 5184 times
      Been thanked: 9365 times

      Hi Michelle,

      Some aspects of male anatomy are truly inconvenient, besides “that” one. At 5′ 10″, I don’t stand out much when Dressed; I’m either in flats or wedgies. But oh, how I would love smaller feet. I’m a 12W men’s, and just finding ladies’ shoes to match my outfits is near-impossible. And I didn’t realize how large my hands were until I tried to buy false nails. My thumbnails are 17 mm wide; you won’t find those in the stores. On the “good” side, I’m a size 10 in jeans, and a 12 in dresses; both easy to find.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #543609
        Connie Twirl
        Lady
        Registered On: August 18, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 96
        Has thanked: 161 times
        Been thanked: 352 times

        I had that issue with thumbnails. I ended up making my own from modeller’s 1mm Plasticard and double-sided tape. Looked fine.

        Connie

        xxx

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #543659
          Bettylou Cox
          Duchess
          Registered On: May 26, 2019
          Topics: 23
          Replies: 2473
          Has thanked: 5184 times
          Been thanked: 9365 times

          That’s interesting; thank you, Connie.

    • #543486
      Rachel Williams
      Lady
      Registered On: November 3, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 126
      Has thanked: 309 times
      Been thanked: 413 times

      Michelle
      Yes size does matter but for me it is from the other end of the height spectrum as being only 5ft 3 in I need to look to the “Petite” ranges but sadly those UK companies that do specifically cater for “Petite” tend not to have the same variety as in their main range and tend to assume that “petite” people are stick insects.
      Rachel

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543467
      Anya Carpathia
      Lady
      Registered On: September 8, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 15
      Has thanked: 8 times
      Been thanked: 67 times

      Just wanted to comment. Size is probably only an issue if you are intimidated.
      Tall basketball players in female competition look fab. But it might just be our society that expects certain modes. We are surprised perhaps when the male is shorter than the female partner. Thank fully it makes no difference them. It would be very sad to ignore the character in preference of size!?! But it happens as we know.
      I suspect if data were collected we would find that what we assume is indeed fact. But I’m glad to think that many look beyond size to investigate and meet the character in question.
      An interesting observation- worth personal consideration.
      Thank you.

      Anya ( Im “ little” with large ambitions!!!)

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543464
      Connie Twirl
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 96
      Has thanked: 161 times
      Been thanked: 352 times

      Lord yes. I’m 6Ft2, 13 Stone (180 in American), arms like a gibbon, feet like canoes, broad shoulders. There is no way on this good Earth that anyone would ever mistake me for a woman, no matter how much make-up and padding I shovelled on.

      So, yes, I would love to be shorter, lighter, of more feminine proportions and with a reasonable face.

      BUT……….. I don’t want to be a woman. I just want to look like one. I think they call it autogynophilia.

      Connie

      xxx

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #543458
      Deborah Sullivan
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 718
      Has thanked: 3094 times
      Been thanked: 2922 times

      Well Michelle I have been out with other cds that are tall like you and they are still beautiful. I times I am even jealous of their looks. I am 5’7″ and 135 lbs so I am on the average size for girls. Growing up I was petite in school and teased . Never big enough to play sports or get picked on teams. I wanted to be taller but now I am thankful for my size since my gender identity has changed for the most part. We all want what we dont have but dont let that deter you hon.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
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