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No, I’m not talking about what you’re thinking.. lol. What I’m talking about is the overall size of our bodies in general. Tall, short, fat, skinny, wide shoulders, narrow shoulders, big hands, small hands, etc. Its all about our physical body size.
Most women just aren’t that big especially in height. We males are usually just larger all over and it can be a big red flag dressed in public no matter what we wear or how much makeup we apply. Its not something we can hide. I read some girls here who go out enfemme all the time and I wonder if they are smaller in stature which would make it more easy to blend in…. idk. Maybe its just me because I’m a big guy but I just adore petite women. They always look so cute to me and I wish I were their size.
I’m 6ft 1in, 200lbs, with broad shoulders, big hands and feet so I’ve always wished I were shorter and much smaller in stature so I could present female more easily. A tall male is fine for getting things off the top shelf for ladies at the grocery store but a hinderance at being a cute female. Being so tall and large its not possible to cover that up so I’m spotted easily as a male even fully dressed at my best. Maybe at least seen as an Amazonian woman a head above most everyone else. Forget about any size heels. Flats, sneakers, or at most kitten heels are about all I can wear outside of the bedroom without bumping my head on door jambs. If I were shorter I could wear my 4in pumps that I love. Oh to be less. Having smaller feet would open up a much wider selection of heels.
So has anyone wished they were shorter, smaller, in order to pass more feminine? I know there is nothing to be done but accept what we have so how can us tall girls make our size more feminine?
Ok, useless rant over…. life just isn’t fair…. sigh
Well Michelle I have been out with other cds that are tall like you and they are still beautiful. I times I am even jealous of their looks. I am 5’7″ and 135 lbs so I am on the average size for girls. Growing up I was petite in school and teased . Never big enough to play sports or get picked on teams. I wanted to be taller but now I am thankful for my size since my gender identity has changed for the most part. We all want what we dont have but dont let that deter you hon.
Lord yes. I’m 6Ft2, 13 Stone (180 in American), arms like a gibbon, feet like canoes, broad shoulders. There is no way on this good Earth that anyone would ever mistake me for a woman, no matter how much make-up and padding I shovelled on.
So, yes, I would love to be shorter, lighter, of more feminine proportions and with a reasonable face.
BUT……….. I don’t want to be a woman. I just want to look like one. I think they call it autogynophilia.
Connie
xxx
Just wanted to comment. Size is probably only an issue if you are intimidated.
Tall basketball players in female competition look fab. But it might just be our society that expects certain modes. We are surprised perhaps when the male is shorter than the female partner. Thank fully it makes no difference them. It would be very sad to ignore the character in preference of size!?! But it happens as we know.
I suspect if data were collected we would find that what we assume is indeed fact. But I’m glad to think that many look beyond size to investigate and meet the character in question.
An interesting observation- worth personal consideration.
Thank you.Anya ( Im “ little” with large ambitions!!!)
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Michelle
Yes size does matter but for me it is from the other end of the height spectrum as being only 5ft 3 in I need to look to the “Petite” ranges but sadly those UK companies that do specifically cater for “Petite” tend not to have the same variety as in their main range and tend to assume that “petite” people are stick insects.
Rachel Hi Michelle,
Some aspects of male anatomy are truly inconvenient, besides “that” one. At 5′ 10″, I don’t stand out much when Dressed; I’m either in flats or wedgies. But oh, how I would love smaller feet. I’m a 12W men’s, and just finding ladies’ shoes to match my outfits is near-impossible. And I didn’t realize how large my hands were until I tried to buy false nails. My thumbnails are 17 mm wide; you won’t find those in the stores. On the “good” side, I’m a size 10 in jeans, and a 12 in dresses; both easy to find.
Hugs,
BettylouI had that issue with thumbnails. I ended up making my own from modeller’s 1mm Plasticard and double-sided tape. Looked fine.
Connie
xxx
That’s interesting; thank you, Connie.
Hi Michelle,
I’m 6′ 4 1/2″, around 225 pounds, always an athlete, so I have broad shoulders a large frame and well muscled. As I age I am losing some muscle mass but that is a slow process. So what do I do with this? I dress in a way that my outer self is congruent with my inner self. I think that an important aspect of your discussion is the question “why do I dress?”. Do I dress to assume the costume of a woman, to pass as a woman, to be a woman, for the thrill of sexual excitement, for self expression? For me, it has evolved into the latter. If I am dressing so that my outside is congruent with my inside, then passing does not matter. I know that I am going to get clocked instantly and I need to be comfortable with that when I am out in public. I love wearing 3-4″ heels, flowery blouses, makeup. It can sometimes be a struggle to own my space. But I have come to realize that when I feel the struggle, it is myself that I am reacting to, not anyone else.
– Robyn
I am jealous of your height Michelle! I am not sure anyone is individually happy with themselves!
Times are changing and women are getting generally getting taller and broader (for which I am eternally grateful as it makes more shoes available that fit me!).
Of all the women in my life, only one was under six foot. And I’m only 5′ 10″ myself.
So, y’all come on over to the west coast of Michigan (think Saugatuck…and just north). You will all fit in quite nicely with the rather tall girls that are already here. For a gen male, I’m rather just a tiny bit above average but walking down the ‘downtown’ sidewalk, well, I feel rather small. Now neither me nor my spouse are dutch, but one daughter (who lives way south, btw) is taller than both of us and she would easily fit in here.
I am 5’9″ and 180#’s….so I have it easier than some it sounds. I have a fairly broad chest requiring a 40 band size. Thankfully I have very small hands for a male.
I’m 5’ 11” and 185 lbs with small hands. I’m fact I hate my small hands in drab mode but I guess it helps when I dress up like a woman.
Hi Michelle
I too am 6′ 200lb, other than the difficulty of finding a decent variety of shoes in my size, I’m ok with it. Although I’ve always been somewhat drawn to more petite women, I’ve also met more than a few larger ones that were quite striking in their appearance, alot can be said for proper ‘packaging’.
As Robyn Drake said, its usually a matter of our own personal mental placement in all of this. I don’t (ok….rarely) dress to create an illusion for others to admire, but rather to have my inner feelings visually expressed. Because I am now more confident with who I am, my feelings show through and I’m more readily accepted. I have had times when I’ve dressed in what I internally envisioned as being as cute as a button and had someone I meet use those same words back to me.
Olivia
I have often thought how blessed I am in this regards. I am 5’9″ (probably a bit shorter now at my age [66]). A year and a half ago I studied what a cis-woman of my height and build (38″ chest) should weigh and what her BMI should be. The charts put the upper number at about 165 lbs. I made that my goal, started KETO and am almost there (started at 210 @ 170 now) I lost 6″ + in my waist (now @ 42), lost breast tissue which before could nicely fill an A cup bra or look really nice in a padded B cup. I now have no butt to speak of and have a thin older looking male face.
Ha, so I almost achieved my weight goal for a woman of my height and build but what is left is distributed errantly. (Waist is still at least 4″ bigger than my liking.)
No matter what we do we are not genetic women. Never will be, but there is hope. I am sure that foundation garment manufacturers don’t offer their products counting on their profits to come predominantly from the trans community. No ladies, I suspect there are multitudes of cis-women who buy and use hip, butt, and breast forms, inserts, corsets etc. They like we are not completely happy with what genetics has given them. I suppose we like they must learn to take what we have and do our best with it. And what’s left over we must learn to manage even as our genetic sisters do.
Blessings,
Charlene
I’m 75 so I don’t really pass too well. And I am 6’2” and 220 pounds. But oh god do I feel good dressed!!! I was shocked the other day in the grocery store to run into a young lady taller than me, so maybe we aren’t so strange? And have you ever seem pictures of janaemeriekroc ( look her up on Facebook) ! Granted she has fully transitioned with facial surgery but even when she was transitioning before the surgery she was a heck of a looking girl. The is also a documentary about her online. If you think you have issues passing, think again.
I’m 6’1” as well, but pushing 245 pounds. Honestly, I wish more that I could lose the belly and handles. My height really doesn’t bother me. It’s my girth.
But I can’t pass as female anyway, so I just go out as I feel. It’s all about confidence, I think. Nobody has yet questioned why a big guy is wearing a skirt. Lol.
Hi Michelle,
I think a lot of us have the same problem. I’m 6’2” and 195. However I’m lucky to have rather narrow shoulders, small hands and feet. I now can easily wear a size 14 and size 11 shoes so I have little problem buying clothes.
Hugs, Jillian
Oh wow, I feel this so much!
Biggest hurdle that has me worried to try and pass in public.
6’4″ 210 (currently, working my way down to 190 – was at 250ish this time last year)
Large hands, big feet, broad shoulders, and arms that definitely don’t look feminine. I’ll just have to settle with being amazonian in feature when en femme.
Making great progress with only doing feminine workouts to try and shape/sculpt but its a slow process.
Some day I’ll get there
I am smaller. 5’8” and have not been on a scale for a while. Last time was 175 but nothing fits now so I am hoping that I am less. I wish that I had hips and a butt. These are true girl struggles. No matter how good we look it will never be good enough. Pass or not. I know genetic girls that struggle with the same issues that we are dealing with.
❤️ OctaviaI truly feel for you. Being on the opposite end of the spectrum I have issues that only short people experience. The issues are opposite but cause just as much anguish. I’m 5’4″, 135 lbs and loosing. (goal is 125) Shoes: women’s 7, dress: 10-12, bra: 36 without forms, 38 with forms (I also use smaller forms than most, like to keep it appropriately petite), even panties are small to x-small. I’m always the smallest in any group I’m in although lately I have been equal or taller than some of the women due to 4″ heels. (That’s a huge ego boost!) The smaller size makes it easier to look feminine but getting a proper fit is still a problem. The male form in small or large frame still has broader shoulders, barrel chest, narrow hips and no butt. I’m closer to a women’s frame but still have to work at it.
Anyway, be you large or small it’s a lot of work to be a woman, but oh so worth it.
❤
Beth
Hi Michelle,
It’s easy for me to empathise. The same sort of thoughts re-occur to me from time to time. I’m 6 ft as well
My advice is pragmatism. We are what we are and can only work on whatever cards nature dealt us.
Anyway, at least in my case, being my age, high heels should be considered a health risk. A twisted or broken ankle is an accident waiting to happen. But I still enjoy my one pair of killer heels, which I can cope with for two microseconds at a time. When I’m sat down in my favourite chair, I find doing a bit of heel dangling is such a simple pleasure.
Marti xxx
I empathize with the author as I am six foot 180 short waisted long legs big hands size 14 (men’s) long narrow feet and muscular veiny arms…oh and a tall big head 😂.
I wear flats because I don’t want to stand out anymore than I already am plus my disability that affects my balance and coordination so it doesn’t let me wear pumps.
but when I dress I’m at my happy place and don’t care how people perceive me. I’m proud being a crossdresser. I don’t mind the height but everything else I mentioned I wish was smaller, especially the feet because it’s hard to find shoes.
Yes size do matter 6,ft 4 I went out Saturday and Sunday I went shopping in the mall all dressed and madeup I don’t think I had any bad looks ,I had a grate time had my nails done ,and did other shopping, at times I thought it would heart but wearing flat shoes and low hair style,not to obvious, Catherine
I completely get where your are coming from. I’m 6’1″, 180. I hit the gym everyday and have an apparent male physique. It’s basically impossible to hide.
But I love heels, especially 4″+. Being a 6’5″ woman stands out which is exactly what I don’t want to do. It’s also one of the reasons ive never gone out in public dressed… All that attention and sideways looks would make me super uncomfortable.
Jen
I’m 5’ 10” and at the start of my diet, was up to 213#.
My siblings and our spouses are having a weight loss contest (percentage of combined weight lost per couple). There’s a total of $800 in the kitty that’s up for grab for the winners.
I weighed in at 204.8 this morning. 😄
I actually have a smallish frame and hope to get down to somewhere in the mid 180s.
If you hit your goal weight Raquel you will look just fine. I’m 5′ 11″ and at 180 right now and my wife thinks I have a pretty decent figure for an older gal. But I’m working on getting down to 165 or so, last time I was there I thought I looked dynamite.
– Kayla
Micheala, after a few more weeks of the contest, I set a new goal, 160. The contest ended. My wife and I won, in a lopsided victory. I lost about 40 pounds, she lost about 15. The next nearest couple lost about 60% of that.
My weight remained steady throughout the holidays, and now I’m resuming work towards that ultimate goal. I weighed about 171, this morning.
Last time I was 160, I probably couldn’t grow a beard.
I have worked with a couple of girls who I had to look up to, younger, both in their 20’s.
I am 5′ 11” and they were well over 6′.
I noticed that they always tended to wear flat shoes.
So some genetic girls are tall.
Genetic girls, like the rest of us, do come in all shapes and sizes.
Remeber-
one of the most successful Russian models was 6 ft 7inches- I believe!
All you need is a plain white backdrop and a good imagination- no perspective to compare. Sizes.
A bit tricky though when shopping.
And when you sit it’s less obvious .Tall can be stunning too. Grace “ thingy”’from Bomd was certainly stunning- but a tad ruthless!!!
oh yes and remeber – in pairs you are invincible!!
best wishes-
Anyanxoxoxo
Not true – please note-
I knew a girl who was so short you nearly
Trod on her . But when she opened her mouth, everyone knew where she was.Make a statement-‘say nothing-‘be fabulous and carry on. Perhaps size should matter.!!!
A good friend of mine from high school is 6’1″. She has been absolutely gorgeous since her sophomore year and definitely gets all sorts of looks every where she goes. She was an athlete and has the body benefits to show from all that work. One of the main reasons we became friends was because of her height. I was one of the few guys at school dances that could dance with her while she was in heels and do something other than just hug and sway. We never went to the dances as dates, but our dates always knew we had to have at least one dance together because of this. Height size does kinda matter, but what you can still shine through like a light house of beauty and personality to get the “right” looks.
I’m 5′ 9″ and 215 lbs. My muscle mass is about 185 lbs, so I can’t go too much lower. Otherwise, I’ll be eating away my internal organs. I still work out a ton, but only for fun now. No more HIIT stuff, unless I get carried away and into it.
However, and very touchingly, many here have said I am proportioned like a girl! Kinda like similar triangles in geometry. I have a big butt, large hips and boobs. Andropause is a wonderful thing! (HRT doesn’t hurt either. LOL!!)
I find that when I wear tight fitting clothing, like LBDs with high heels and nylons, I feel “thin” and think I look that way too. But, I’m also slightly delusional.
However, I have NO illusions that I will pass in any way. My outings have been clandestine as much as possible, so I haven’t yet gotten any concrete feedback. Besides, the way I like to look and dress is a dead giveaway. Women where I am only dress the way I like to when it’s a more formal event or late at night near a major motorway close to a cluster of motels.
Fun post!
Love, Barb 🙂
I’ve not been out dressed, but I have come across a few of us in public before. 2 at the local mall, and one at Walmart. Walmart one was smaller, but can only tell because the voice was deep. At the mall was a smaller girl and larger girl. The larger (taller) one looked more feminine than the shorter, smaller girl. Again the voice gave her away, plus the fact that I knew her from school as a basketball player.
I go out often and am not small. I am 5′ 10″ and 225 lbs. I have big hands and feet. I feel it is the way you balance it is important. I have found that V neck tops and dresses help cover my wide shoulders. Size 44 coat. Long attached fingernails help hide my large hands. I wear a size 12W in shoes and usually wear 3″ heals. That helps to stretch the body a bit. Dresstech hip pads help to balance the shoulder and hips. I nice wig and while I am by no means pretty, I have never been challenged as not being female. I often go shopping and eating in restaurants and have flown many times in planes dressed. Passing is an attitude as well.
I’ll try to preface my response with some hopefully useful family info (in case I’ve never mentioned it before or it’s been lost in time)
I myself stand 5’11-ish. My wife is a tad bit over 5’10 and my youngest daughter (almost 20 now! Yikes! Lol) is just a tad taller than me now.
Both these ladies have the unmistakable feminine female curves so many of us covet and they are also both beautiful (though I suspect some bias on my part!) where as I am mostly a rectangle and my face is sporting many a masculine signature. My saving grace is being reasonably skinny.
When we venture out together (with me doing my devil best to present female) I’m still never gendered correctly. They have both regaled me with stories of the challenges faced by taller women, the ridicule (giraffe comments, how’s the weather up there etc) as well as clothing never looking quite right on their frames and well, you can forget about feeling good in heels. Some of the same frustrations you find yourself (as well as me) facing.
So, to answer your question I absolutely wish at times to be other than I am, but it seems that I do not have a monopoly on that and every time I find myself heading down that mental pathway (and it IS mental if you know what I mean) I try to remind myself that this world/culture/society seems designed solely to drive us buggy always reaching for that next target in hopes of finally scratching that itch.
More than I set out to say, hopefully theres a message in there to take away.
Hi Michelle!
I think gender identification has to do more with proportions than say height or weight. There are just certain features unfortunately that are real indicators. Then again, we all struggle with “something” not quite right in this quest for femininity.
With that said, I’m probably one of those you’re ranting about. I’m 5’7sh, 134lbs wet, and any adult can wrap their hands around my ankles and touch fingertips. But my proportions are still not quite right (right for feminine me anyway). A lot of that has to do with upper body/lower body ratio vs. “curves”, as many women don’t have an hourglass figure, but their overall bodily proportions are very identifiable as genetic female.
For example, if I measure my neck, it probably falls in line with many genetic females, but where it meets my head, my ratio is off… it’s too thick for my head. I wouldn’t mind my long skinny fingers, but my palm to wrist ratio is clearly male. I have a 28″ waist, but my ribcage is too large and my hips are too narrow in proportion.
My workaround is through clothing choices and visual impact, a deep understanding of visual design and perception of space and colors and how objects can appear more in balance based on objects adjacent to them. Shapes, and perceived shape, fall into this visual design category as well.
Proportions, and how they’re interrelated to other adjacent parts on your body, are really the indicators vs. one specific thing.
Well I am only 5’6”, wear a plus size 1 right now (I’m working on it). I am lucky though because The clothes I like come in my size. Don’t with to be too small. My wife is just shy of 5’ and she has trouble finding clothes that fit too.
As for the being clocked or read, we have a friend who was born female. She is 6’2” and gorgeous, but she too is really insecure about her height, and she’s is literally a model.
I’m the same height and close to your size Michelle, so I’m in the same boat. My least favorite feature when I’m dressed has to be my super wide shoulders. Although I’m learning some tricks that hide them decently well, (wide flare skirts, long sleeves mostly) they will just never be feminine and that limits my outfit choices if I’m ever going to get close to passable. My height bothers me a bit less. I’ve met a few cisgender women close to my height. Maybe one or two who are actually taller. Tall women can be really feminine and beautiful… I’m just not super confident in being able to convince people I am one!
Yet, I have been out with a 6’4” cd friend and heard comments from people about her being “a tall broad” or “WNBA woman”.
True, I would kind of like to be 5’6” like my wife, but the “gender identification” at the first glance is not about the height, hair or the facial features… it is about the body proportions. The closer you can get to a 3/2/3 ratio.
Those of us born males can (easily or not) alter two out of those three measurements.We can’t make our shoulders be narrower. So, we have to work our proportions from the shoulders down.
If your shoulders are, say, 45” around, ideally your waist should be as close to 30” as possible. (36” is still great) And the hips measurement as close to 45” as possible as well. So, while skinny girls can usually get away without any waist reducing garments, most everybody would benefit from hip padding to show more womanly figures.
Yeah I know… hip padding “gets on the way”, “is not comfortable”, etc. but… there are many examples of otherwise nicely looking CD gals who can be easily read because of their lack of hips. Of course there are clothing styles to “disguise” some flaws. Cis females use similar tricks all the time!
Gaby
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