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    • #409130
      Trisha Smith
      Participant
      Registered On: August 24, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 7
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      I accidently left my forms laying out and thought my GGF saw them so I decided to come out before she asked. We had been seeing each other for about 8 months.  She initially reacted well to the news and had only a few questions. Took her about 2 weeks to digest it them the real conversations started. All went great and she completely embraces it.  Here is my point.  I asked her point blank

       

      “if I had told you from the onset what would you have done”

       

      Her answer was that she would have moved on and not given us another thought.

       

      My advice is this for what its worth. If you are primarily CD then start with that but if you are male 1st CD 2nd then start male and introduce when it feels right. Give her the chance to know him before she meets her.

       

      Good luck.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #409422
        Bianca Everdene
        Participant
        Registered On: April 11, 2017
        Topics: 16
        Replies: 567
        Has thanked: 2003 times
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        Hi Trisha

        Thanks for sharing your experience, and the thoughts of your girlfriend. So she was accepting of your revelation.

        ❤️B

        • #409474
          Trisha Smith
          Participant
          Registered On: August 24, 2020
          Topics: 3
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          Has thanked: 23 times
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          Yes. She actually is very involved as well. She said she has a girlfriend she can spend time with while not taking time away from us. She is really wanting to go for mani pedis soon.

          I am very lucky to have found her.

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #408918
      Rachel Cross
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 19
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      thought i wrote about this one. guess not.

      dress as a woman and go to a gathering place for straight people. bar, club, party, ect. watch the women come to you. start talking about women things. they like that you know about that stuff. they will feel comfortable with you. just say we should go shopping sometime or out to a restaurant, ect. they would love that. have a good time and they will see how nice your are. after a few times out ask the if they would like to meet your male side. they will probably say yes. if they get along with your male side too, then your good. you will never have to tell them your a crossdresser. they will already know and you didnt even have to hide it from them. women are more understanding when your not hiding anything from them. it works, i did it before. i think she wanted me but i didnt want her. we had nothing in common. i have turned down others because im not ready.

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      • #409050
        Bianca Everdene
        Participant
        Registered On: April 11, 2017
        Topics: 16
        Replies: 567
        Has thanked: 2003 times
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        Thanks for sharing your experiences Rachel. Showing what can happen if we just overcome our fears and go for it. I hope one day to be able to be able to do what you describe.

        ❤️B

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407751
      Jennifer Heels
      Participant
      Registered On: December 11, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 71
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      I was always scared what they would say or who they would tell if i told them, which is why i rarely have ever been on a date with a genetic woman. In some ways this lifestyle is fun and exciting, but at the same time I think that it has destroyed other parts of my life, ie girlfriend, wife, kids, etc.

      Jennifer

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #409440
        Caroline OBrien
        Participant
        Registered On: April 18, 2020
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 46
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        Jennifer,

        I really appreciate you mentioning there is a downside to crossdressing.

        Besides my wife nobody knows about my fem side. My drab life would be turned upside down if I were ever found out.

        Thanks

        -Caroline

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407549
      Bobbi Sue
      Participant
      Registered On: September 15, 2020
      Topics: 12
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      I’m in the camp of hold off a bit.   Just like ailments and exes, it’s not important until there’s a relationship.

      My first criteria to date her?   She needs to look better in a dress than I do.   😝

       

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407536
      Leah
      Participant
      Registered On: June 13, 2018
      Topics: 3
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      I do not see a need to tell them right away when dating.  See where things go, if it is getting serious and you think it could somewhere.  Have the CD talk.

      If you tell them up front, you will never get a date.  I told my wife after we dated 4 months. If i would have told her right away, we would have never had date 1.. just saying.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406232
      Grace Scarlett
      Participant
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 20
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      Hi B❤️

      I would say, if you are going to date, be open from day one. If you tell her and it’s a no-go…surely it’s better to part as relative strangers than to fall head over heels and then go through the agony of losing her. Another scenario is you could fall for each other, and then be too afraid to tell her for fear of losing her….

      my thoughts, love, grace xx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402854
      Caitlin Priest
      Participant
      Registered On: June 3, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 24
      Has thanked: 7 times
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      I am very happily single.

      Would I like to have a partner with which to share my life? Sure, I’d love it! But I don’t NEED it. I’m perfectly content to be on my own. I’m a hell of a catch, and I refuse to make myself miserable just to have a woman in my life.

      My crossdressing is a permanent part of my life. The desire ebbs and flows, but IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY.

      I love me, and I love my alter-ego.

      I will not lie (omissions are lies too) to my future wife nor will I hide who I am. She must love me for ALL of me – NO EXCEPTIONS. In return, she will receive the love of every fiber of my being.

      When it comes to dating, I decided a long time ago that I will be up front with my prospective dates right from the get-g0. So, having said all of this, about fifteen years ago, I was feeling a bit saucy and posted only photos of myself crossdressed to the Yahoo dating site. I received a few nasty comments, but I also got a surprisingly large amount of positive comments. I even ended up dating one woman for a couple of months. She was a delightful woman,  but she was battling too many demons of her own and it didn’t work out.

      I’m still looking, just not actively. I believe my mate is out there, but until the real thing comes along, I’m all the woman I need.

      The best of luck to you ladies,

      I love you all,

      Cait

       

    • #402853
      Mandy Wife
      Participant
      Registered On: September 12, 2019
      Topics: 5
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      From everything I’ve seen and read both here and on other sifes, being open and honest from the outset is best – it causes all sorts of problems when you try and hide things in a relationship and it can be extremely difficult and hurtful the further on you let things go before coming out.

      I’d a.so be careful of dating sites if you are not out to friends and family.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402840
      Sapphire Ribbons
      Participant
      Registered On: June 2, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 31
      Has thanked: 129 times
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      Bianca,
      I think it’s better to let her know before you set a date. Perhaps you can have conversations that will lead up to certain questions. “ Have you ever seen RuPaul Drag race?” Look for opportunities in a conversation to bring things up about cross dressing . Compression stockings seem to be a gateway for some . Or Hey I could walk a mile in her shoes! ( That’s a fundraiser and awareness program) . There are women who love girls like us and there are women who learn to love us girls! Be honest and true to who you are! It sucks hiding all your heels!
      She’s out there,Best of luck to you !

      Sapphire

       

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #402821
      Rei Durden
      Participant
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 14
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      Has thanked: 2890 times
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      Great question Bianca!

      My initial thought is to say nothing and to take it to the next level only after forming a connection.

      It’ll be sure to hurt you both should Bianca end up being a deal breaker, but so many people react badly when faced with the unknown and unfamiliar that if you state up front (insert label here) you may bump up against many people’s misconceptions and ignorance on the whole subject.

      Using my own experience As an example here, even though my wife of 25+ years is accepting and supportive (but still struggling with understanding) the other week she told me had she know I had Rei inside me she would have let me go.

      On the other hand, being 100% forthcoming at the start though is definitely a harder road but the potential win at the end should you find “the one”, is well, priceless.

      Best wishes, Rei

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402810
      Bianca Everdene
      Participant
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 567
      Has thanked: 2003 times
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      I’m in the same boat. It does seem a bit unfair to possibly form a connection with someone only to ambush her with my CDing later. Having it out there from the beginning does seem easier than confessing some time down the line and hoping it goes well. Scaring off a lot of women and not getting any matches at all does seem like a real risk though. Another problem: I’ve come across dating profiles of women I know, which means they’re probably seeing my profile as well, and I don’t want to get outed like that. (I know at least some would be OK with it though so I’m still thinking about it…)

      I’ve thought about setting up another profile for Ashley, but that seems super dishonest, it might give the idea that I usually present as Ashley and risks the opposite problem of them wanting Ashley and getting mostly the male me. So even though an Ashley profile seems like it might be fun, it’s pretty much a big huge giant nope when I think about it.

      For now, I’m trying to match with women who identify as queer or bi and things along those lines. If I match with one I think I’ll mention my CDing before meeting in person and see how it goes. Seems like they might be more likely to be OK with it or possibly (hopefully) even like it.

      Thanks for sharing Ashley, never even thought about people I know(none of whom knows Bianca) seeing my profile…eeek. It’s such a minefield.

      ❤️B

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402806
      Kelli Marlowe
      Participant
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 18
      Has thanked: 167 times
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      I face the same quandary. Never have I disclosed to anyone,ex-wife,kids, past girlfriends.Living in my hometown area of small towns, it would be disastrous to let that info out until I was sure she was the one, absolutely sure.

      call me paranoid, but I def would not put it on a dating site.I don’t think the majority of women are receptive, unfortunately for us.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402802
      Stevie Steiner
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 624
      Has thanked: 2851 times
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      Well, my dating years are pretty much behind me now.  Dang, that sounded somewhat sad…. ☹.  How about dating isn’t dead, just not on the radar much anymore.   Have to say that were I asked this question a year ago I would say wait a while before broaching the subject.  Now I am of the mind the sooner the better.  Both for you and her, assuming the dating goes beyond to something more serious.

      Stevie

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402792
      Kelly Terry
      Participant
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 140
      Has thanked: 105 times
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      Since I have a wonderful wife I haven’t even thought about looking for anyone else but this post made me think a little. I don’t know if it’s good to basically say “I’m a crossdresser” in the posting since I think that makes it look like “I’m looking for a women that like to dress me up – don’t care what else you do”.

      My point is that in a relationship it’s a lot of different things that need to work and cd is just one of them. I don’t know if my wife had become my wife if I had started with “I’m CD” on the first date. I think that may become a big red flag before any of the other things you are are discovered and may distract the discovery.

      Now I do think the CD part should be disclosed at some early stage so your feminine side doesn’t have to hide and accidentally discovered later.

      /kt

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402621
      Ashley
      Participant
      Registered On: May 25, 2019
      Topics: 4
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      I’m in the same boat. It does seem a bit unfair to possibly form a connection with someone only to ambush her with my CDing later. Having it out there from the beginning does seem easier than confessing some time down the line and hoping it goes well. Scaring off a lot of women and not getting any matches at all does seem like a real risk though. Another problem: I’ve come across dating profiles of women I know, which means they’re probably seeing my profile as well, and I don’t want to get outed like that. (I know at least some would be OK with it though so I’m still thinking about it…)

      I’ve thought about setting up another profile for Ashley, but that seems super dishonest, it might give the idea that I usually present as Ashley and risks the opposite problem of them wanting Ashley and getting mostly the male me. So even though an Ashley profile seems like it might be fun, it’s pretty much a big huge giant nope when I think about it.

      For now, I’m trying to match with women who identify as queer or bi and things along those lines. If I match with one I think I’ll mention my CDing before meeting in person and see how it goes. Seems like they might be more likely to be OK with it or possibly (hopefully) even like it.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402482
      Robyn Devine
      Participant
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 279
      Has thanked: 686 times
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      Bianca

      Me personally, I would say be straight out there with it as a crossdresser.  I choose CD being that will be easier for women to comprehend.

      So why waste your time or theirs? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if a woman says YES!

      Straight to the point, dont hide anything!

      xo – Robyn

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #402480
      Sa•man•tha
      Founder
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 304
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      Has thanked: 6279 times
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      Nice, Bianca.  Good stuff to think about.  I dont date women or men anymore so…lol.  What I always did before, was to meet a woman however, just organically, and let us get to know each other, and then throw my cards down if she was someone I wanted to keep, but before it got too serious.  Guess maybe it depends on who you’re looking for, but I think a couple keys are to be non-needy and “outcome independent”, relationships are a gamble so just like poker dont gamble on more than you can afford to lose.  Something I’ve always thought might be fun, is to go on a dating app, and just play around til you see what hits.  But then, I haven’t dated in several years so that’s where I’m at 😛.  Good luck hon.  This stuff is kinda interesting to think about.  Hope you get some good replies!

      5 users thanked author for this post.
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