Firstly, I would like to open by thanking each every one of you who read my debut article and left loving comments. This is a beautiful community and is made up of beautiful people.

For so long, I believed that transition was never something that I would be able to seriously consider. I’m so old. My nose is too big. I’m balding and so much more. But on reflection, maybe I can do something about that. I had this feeling that it might somehow help me to start to feel better about myself; something I desperately needed.

Before long I found that simple thought had grown into something bigger and had prompted action to get things moving forward. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist on Monday of that week, to allow me to share my thoughts with a professional. I wanted to make sure that I was of sound mind and stable in my thinking. I had also made another appointment on Thursday to get an assessment of my beard growth and follicle issue.

I know that this is likely to be an uphill struggle. I don’t have the resources of a famous lawyer, like some high profile people do. I can only work with what I have and need to make things count. I need to monitor the costs of the things I desire to follow my path.

Nature Day 3

All that taken into consideration, I have to believe that I have some hope. I need to believe that God loves me enough to help me become who he intended me to be, even though I have spent my life believing that I should have been female. I have started trying to raise money through a crowdfunding campaign to help pay for Facial Feminization Surgery and I hope it helps. Meanwhile, I know that there are many individuals who are disgusted with people like me, and they have a loud voice!

I know that having embarked upon this long journey, there will be many obstacles and challenges ahead. I understand that I may lose friends and my heart might be crushed many times. But if I can’t become who I was meant to be, how can I do what God has intended me to do? Surely there must be a light at the end of this tunnel?

If anyone has some insight that may help me on this journey I ask you with all my heart, please share your knowledge and experiences with me. I long for that elusive feminine figure and that girlish face. I miss having long, flowing hair. I want to wear a beautiful dress that makes me feel like a million dollars and one that may make a man blush too. I have a desire to claim the life that I truly believe I was meant to have, so much it makes me feel that I wish to claim my rightful soul back!



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Active Member
5 years ago

Christina, Thank you for sharing your story. As we have gotten older (I’m 61), I think we realize time is short. And Happiness is up to us by the choices we make. The struggle just to belong. To be whoever we are, inside, as we have hidden it our whole lives. We have to be true to our own spirit, no matter what. I commend you for staying with it. The journey will not be easy for us, whether we fully transition or not. For me, and I think for you too, the dream is to be able to go… Read more »

Dame Veronica Graunwolf
Active Member

Hi Christina! My name is Dame Veronica Graunwolf and I was moved by your story. I understand what you are going thru. I am also impressed with your ability to put those thoughts forward so clearly. I have traveled the world and seen the best and worst of the human situation and if you like, am willing to share with you what I have seen and how people cope with their situation. Sweetie…..nothing in this world is impossible to change for the better. Go with your idea…….be all you can be, but especially….do what it takes to be happy. All… Read more »

5 years ago

Wow. I believe there is TUFF, Jim Collins Foundation, something called Point 5cc and a few more I can’t remember right now but I will let you know if I do. Try TransGenderPulse website for tons of transition related resources. Hope that helps . . . Hugz.

Brittany Lov
4 years ago

Christina Just wanted to say Hello and your not alone . I to am on a very similar quest , to find myself . When I was younger like much . Lol . It was easyer no one much cared really that this young boy wanted to be a girl , and played games with my sister’s we did all kinds of fun , stuff cheer leading practices , gymnastic out front in the church parking across the street , dressing up in cute outfitts , makeup life was good it’s when Brittany was really born , my sister’s gave… Read more »

Chia White
2 years ago

i love it

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