What happened that inspired us to be Cross dressers? Why do we want to be feminine and pretty? Was it an early experience you had in life? Perhaps your role model was women? Or you grew up in a house with sisters?
For me, I was an only boy who was in the house with my mother and three sisters and my dad was always away. I saw their pretty clothes and how they got fixed up and made to look pretty. Boys didn’t do this, I was taught that pretty early in life, if you liked girly things you were a sissy, and there nothing was worse than being a sissy. Only problem was, I did like girly things, I wanted to wear silky panties and pantyhose, and twirl around in a ruffled skirt, I wanted to wear makeup and I wanted to fix my hair in a feminine manner. I was ashamed that I had these feelings and thoughts as It was in the late 60’s and early 70’s before computers and the internet, so I thought I was the only one who had these feelings.
I tried hard to resist, however, I could not. I always swore I would quit dressing up after this one last time only to give in to my temptations and desires again and again. I wanted to be feminine and wear girl’s clothes. Since I was at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand why I wanted to do this.
My first encounter with feminine traits was with a young girl in my neighborhood who painted my fingernails bright red one day, I felt something in me that was hard to explain while she was painting and then blowing on them, as I was only 5yrs old. I knew boys were not supposed to have their fingernails polished, but it was exciting, and then I figured out I couldn’t just wash it off so I had to go home and show my mother and ask her to help me take it off. I also remember the laughter from my sisters as they teased me. That same year when my Mother asked what I wanted to be for Halloween, I said a girl! It was that way for a couple of years afterward as well. I have Halloween pictures of me dressed up as a girl wearing a dress and wig and smiling.
Later on, my sister caught wearing her pantyhose and it was so humiliating, however, it didn’t stop me. It was just like that time I had been caught with nail polish on. Getting caught was somehow exciting to me. I wonder if I had been encouraged, would I have lived a different life? As a young boy, dressing up did not have a sexual component to it because I had not yet hit puberty.
I know others have shared their dressing up with their wives, however, I just cannot do that with my wife. It would hurt her more than it would help me, so I am content stealing private moments when I have the opportunity. As a matter of fact, my joining Crossdresser Heaven is my way of meeting others and accepting and sharing this side of myself with others.
This is my introduction to the world as Vanity and telling others for the first time in my life that I want to be feminine and girly. As I am aging, more of my time and thoughts are consumed by crossdressing and feminine feelings that I couldn’t stop now if I wanted to.
I am so appreciative to Crossdresser Heaven for allowing me and others like me the forum to express who we feel like we are without negative judgment. I admire most of the others on here who have shared this part of their lives with their wives and significant others. They are the brave ones who I admire and I have learned so much from them. Some of them are so feminine and pretty!
I would never be able to pass as a woman and I am alright with that as the majority of cross dressers in the world have that same difficulty. The cross dressers who can totally pass as a girl/lady/woman is such a very small percentage of all cross dressers. I just love the feelings dressing up brings to me and being 100% passable is not important to me.
There is a feeling I get right before it is time to dress up and when the time finally comes, there is a great stress relief that comes over me that is hard to describe. I am always going to have these feelings and desires and today I do not wish them to go away. I love wearing girl’s clothes and it feels right. It has taken me a lifetime to get to this point in my life.
Most of us are at different places along our journey and that will always be the case. My hope is that others will read this and see that it is alright to be exactly where you are right now at this moment and that it is OK to want to crossdress and feel feminine.
So the question was, “Why do we want to be Feminine?” The answer could be because it feels right and brings us joy and pleasure. If you are young and struggling with your desires and feelings, please know that it is alright and there is nothing wrong with you. You are who you are and I encourage you to be comfortable with who you are. Be the girl you want to be and don’t let others tell you otherwise. It is ok to be girly and feminine. I only wished I would have accepted it earlier in life and I would bet many of you feel the same way I do!
- What do you believe the reaction of your wife would be if you decided to come out of your cross dressing closet and admit to her you are a cross dresser and have been for a very long time?
- Would you like to share with me and our readers your very first time you cross dressed and how it made you feel?
- Are you now happy we, as cross dressers, now have a site such as Crossdresser Heaven where we can finally share our thrill of cross dressing with others just like us with continued encouragement and support?
Please feel free to take the time to respond to either my article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above relating back to my writings in my article!
Thank you so very much,
Sincerely, Vanity
Hi Vanity thanx for a great article I am one of us who will never pass as a woman but I don’t care I go out in clothes that please me not to please other people. Leggings skirt and midi length cardi coat small amount of make-up with dangly earrings I shop for all my own underwear and to date have not had a problem with anyone. Most of my friends know I have a fem side and are fine with it. I would love to pass as a woman but being 66 it ain’t going to happen. Stay safe… Read more »
Thanks, Vanity, for the fine article, Your experiance runs so parallel to myself and many others here at CDh. I just read one of the forums where they were discussing councling. I feel that for now I don’t need councling because I have CDH and all the wonderful gals here. They have helped my mind see that a CD is what I am and I have accepted that and happy with who I am. I believe I am at least marginally ‘passable’ in these masked times, at least it seams so the couple of times I’ve been out.
Sandy
Thank you for this article it is very helpful hearing your story because many of us have had a similar experience. It brings ease to many of us to knowing that there are people like us, that have gone through similar things and we are not alone in these things we love to do. It takes time to accept yourself for loving to do the things you like to do, but it helps so much to know that you are not alone in that journey. We are all here for each other, that is why I love CDH
what a great post, could not add nothing to this to add. I am not much of a book writer or writing this down. but this is really good. only id society would be more open with us girls and be more under standing and talk to us like woman. real woman do not under stand the cross dressing world for the reason they do not want to hear it. but they can dress in manly cloths and that’s ok. yes I was born before the internet also and wish it was, but here on C.D.H I have found my… Read more »
You just told the story of 99% of the members of CDH!…
Thank you for sharing Vanity your developing years which we all relate to but sad your wife cant enjoy it with you
Great article. We haev a lot of similarities with the exception of my wife is supportive and participates in my dressing. The earlier we can get over our guilt and shame and accept that this part of us will Never go away, we will be far better off. I still do not have an answer as to the “why do I want to be feminine" or “why I started" but I have been told when I am dressed up I am more relaxed. Which I did not realize. There is not enough understanding or support by GG’s in general, but… Read more »
Hi Vanity! I just had to add my compliments to everyone else’s, what a great article. I’d love to share some of my story here, but this is your article and it’s so heart felt and well written, I only wish to thank you for sharing. I become more comfortable and confident everyday because of this kind of fabulous content and the great ladies behind it. I’ll quote you, As you stated, “My hope is that others will read this and see that it is alright to be exactly where you are right now at this moment and that it… Read more »
Please share away, the more the merrier. Thank you for your kind words they are much appreciated girl…
Hi Vanity, I don’t always have a lot of time to look at all the articles on here and TGH, but today I caught a glimpse of yours. I wish to offer my congratulations on your well written and heartfelt story. I love it when anyone talks about their experiences and acceptance of themselves in such a positive and embracing way that you have here. This is a great position to have reached in your life and a wonderful example for others who are still struggling with their lives. You give hope, support and inspiriation to those others with your… Read more »
Great article.Mine started after going out dressed as female for Halloween,was 21 or 22 years old at the time.A couple of my female friends talked me into dressing as a woman for Halloween and knew an inner female side of me came out.Plus I loved how the stockings I wore feeling them including playing with the hair and earrings