Out and about in th...
 
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Out and about in the UK

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Topic starter
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I love to go out when dressed.  Maybe you have done it yourself?   Maybe you would never dare but you wonder what it would feel like?  I can tell you that it is a delicious feeling to walk down the street and to blend in, to look just like all the other women who are shopping or on a break from work.

The first time I did it was in Manchester.  I spent time looking at myself in the mirror and wondering, "Can I do it, will I pass?" and then decided to go for it.  I did not have many clothes so my outfit was not wonderful and I had to borrow a coat (no, I did not ask).  The only shoes I had were too high for easy walking and now I would choose flats for a shopping expedition.

That first trip went well and gave me more confidence so I have repeated the experience many times over the years.   I have been out in various towns and cities in the UK.   Once I had a short holiday in France and was dressed for the whole time except for the journeys there and back.

Sometimes I have had my make-up done professionally but I am quite good at doing it myself.  I aim to blend in so I do not wear a short skirt or show too much skin.   I certainly want to look and feel feminine so for me jeans are no good and I have to wear a skirt or a dress.  I have to think about what accessories to choose and I often like to wear a delicate, pretty scarf.

Do I ever have any trouble?  If I am honest I must say that a few times I have had rude comments.  Once in London a man shouted out, "You're a man!" and that was unpleasant.  I ignored him and kept on walking.  Everyone around me ignored him too.  That insult dented my confidence for a little while.  On a couple of other occasions men have said things just loudly enough that they must have intended me to hear but I have ignored them, kept on going and held my head up high.  Being confident, believing in yourself and smiling are some of my top hints for crossdressers who want to go out in public.

What do I do when I go out?  Usually I go round the shops.  In the UK we have charity shops, where donated goods are sold to make money for a charity.  I love charity shops because you never know what you will find and the prices can be much less than in other shops.  On the other hand it can be frustrating to find a gorgeous dress that is too small.  I do not usually try the clothes on so I carry a tape measure and that is very useful for checking sizes.

I feel confident walking down the street or looking in the shops but I do get a bit nervous when I go up to pay for something.  I do not talk much although I am trying to develop my feminine voice.  Maybe they think that I do not speak English or that I am too hoarse to do anything more than a whisper!

Apart from shopping I have been to a couple of stage musicals and I have been out for a couple of meals and a few snacks or coffees.

When I was in France I was with a crossdresser who had a lot of confidence and she thought that it was my turn to order the next drinks.  That was daunting but I did it.  Also on that holiday I held a door open for a man who gave me a "Merci madame" and that was worth a lot!

I would never push anyone to go out dressed but I have encouraged a few crossdressers who have a convincing look.  There is a risk but I have never experienced any worse than rude words.  I love to go out into the world.  It opens doors to all sorts of experiences and it feels just wonderful.

 

 

 

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16 Replies
Posts: 871
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I am early in truly exploring all of who I am. I have only recently vecome more open about my crossdressing and have begun venturing out in public. Lacking experience with make up (I am learning) and with difficulty finding a wig that fits and doesn't break the bank has limited when and where. Your article , however, is inspiring and encouraging. Thanx for sharing.

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Posts: 27
(@danic)
Eminent Member     Alabama, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Thank you for sharing.

I guess this will be coming up with my counselor at some point. She told about a safe place and I went, I just went in guy mode. It was a safe place. I think there were six people. It wasn't a crossdresser meeting, but a local TG support group. But there was one lady more confident than I who came in a nice dress and heels. I wanted to compliment her on her shoes. I like shoes in general whether that be nice men's dress shoes or especially women's heels of all kinds. I felt bad afterwards for not commenting on her shoes. I feel she would have appreciated that and it would have made her feel more welcome as it was her first time to the group also. But, maybe she'll be back next month. Maybe my counselor will talk me into going dressed, somehow I doubt it. There are challenges with when the meeting is in relation to work time. So I wouldn't be able to spend the time necessary to make me comfortable. Perhaps one day.

I have ventured out at night and just barely in the daytime. I definitely look forward to more.

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Posts: 145
Baroness
(@maxine_d)
Estimable Member     Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined: 9 years ago

A lovely account, Louise and a pleasure to read. As is often the case, we are much more aware of our situation than most of those around us. Success does breed confidence 🙂
Good for you!
Hugs,
Maxine

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Posts: 5
Lady
(@sandyme)
Active Member     Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

This is really encouraging. Thanks for your honesty.

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Posts: 104
Guest
(@JaneS)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Thank you for such an encouraging article Louise. Confidence breeds success which then boosts confidence. As you say, negative experiences can dent the confidence but ignoring taunts is the best way to just move on.

I don't think "passing" or being "convincing" is that important now. It can decrease those odd looks, for sure, but it doesn't have to be a limit to what we do either.

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Posts: 104
Guest
(@JaneS)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago

The first step outside the door en-femme is one of the hardest steps to take, but each time it gets easier. All you need to convince yourself that the only person bothered about it it yourself, make eye contact with others and smile. I'm no expert but I'm learning that in general (in Britain) most people are too polite to say anything and accept you as you are x

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Guest
(@JaneS)
Joined: 9 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 104

Hi Penny
I can still remember the first time that I stepped outside dressed en.femme and how scared and invigorating it was at the same time.
But you are right. Each time it gets easier to do and like you I realized that the only person who I have to convince is myself
As long as I have the confidence to be out among other people I found that I've been accepted as a female and really haven't had any bad experiences
Keep on being Lori
I'd love to hear from you
Janine

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Posts: 2171
Ambassador
(@skippy1965)
Famed Member     Richmond, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Louise,
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story! After decades spent dressing behind closed doors at home, I have begun venturing out a bi-driving while dressed at night and even a few times during the day. The next step is a girls day out-which had originally planned for yesterday (the 25th of June) but was postponed to hopefully a few weeks from now! I am going to overcome my fears and try to be confident and bold. Thanks for showing us the way!
Cyn

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Posts: 12
Lady
(@jeanette)
Active Member     not far from Amsterdam, Netherlands
Joined: 9 years ago

Great article Louise, thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing this with us and for trying to give all of us CD'ers that extra amount of confidence that we all so desperately need. I am proud of being your friend!

Love, Jeanette

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Posts: 101
(@jesse316)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Wonderful read! Thanks for encouraging all of us to take that step out and gain the confidence we need..and girl I need some!

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Posts: 104
Guest
(@JaneS)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Hi Louise....like you I'm from the UK, my first time out and about was in Bristol,and my BFF couldn't believe it was my first time,she said I just oozed confidence.
If only she knew how I was trembling inside 🙂
Now I'm a regular out and about girl,a regular client at my local beauty salon.....I've even flown out on holiday from Manchester to the canaries en femme and stayed that way..what a wonderful experience!
All I can say to the girls who haven't ventured out yet is...do it,the outside is a wonderful place and you have nothing to fear except fear itself

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Posts: 104
Guest
(@JaneS)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago

yes the first time was very scary but the sense of achievement was amazing, I had finally been true to the real me , I have only had a couple of unpleasant incidents I just didn't rise to it , 99% just don't care , as has been stated if you act with confidence you will be accepted , I have even purchased underware the young lady was only to help

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1 Reply
Guest
(@JaneS)
Joined: 9 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 104

Thanks Emma and thanks to all the others who have commented on my article too. Good to hear about a few of you who have discovered the joys of going out dressed.

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Posts: 104
Guest
(@JaneS)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago

wonderful grate read but do not have the confidence to go out all so crap at make up but would love to lern

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Posts: 1
Lady
(@dawnbarker)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

Going out dressed is a real treat. My wife and I are planning for next weekend. Very nervous

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Posts: 31
(@melissa65)
Eminent Member     Bristol, Avon, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Definently agree with holding your head high, as that sure projects confidence, complete with a genuine smile...every now and then helps too.

I have been dressing for over thirty years now... wow has it been that long, and i must say in all those years and the countless times I have been out as Melissa I think i can only recall about 3 times i was clocked to some degree.. So on the average i must be doing something right. mind you they were in my faltering earlier days..

One young lady, she was not particularly attractive (poor her) decided to have a go at me, saying that i was a man wearing a woman's dress. People were more looking at her, than at me.. this guy walked up to her and said, so ******g what.. at least she looks more attractive than you and the other people who watched this situation unfold had a chuckle at her, not me.. He said to me, personally i think you look good, doesn't matter to me who you are. Then he just left... so you see that was one occasion.

The next was this lady came up to me and asked me quietly are you a guy, so i replied quietly are you a woman. She looked at me puzzled, and i looked at her puzzled, she tried to be awkward persisting in trying to gain some hold on this situation. Asking to me why do am in a woman's dress, I replied for the same reason that you are wearing trousers I guess. Besides it's not any woman's dress it just happens to be my dress. Ok, as she realised she wasn't going to get the one up on me, she then decided to go... I felt pretty damned chuffed with myself in how I kept confident responses rolling lol..

The other one happened so long ago... as I pulled up at a petrol station and managed to lock my keys in my car, as the old cars had a habit of doing, as habit was to push the black toggle button down on closing the drivers door.. OMG just locked my keys in my car.. so I had no choice to go in the Garage and had to inform the Garage attendant of my unfortunate situation, and to make matters worse i left my purse to pay for the fuel in the car.. so yes that was a dilemma in itself, then this guy came into the Garage and saw me sat down waiting for the auto locksmith to arrive and he looked at me and gruffly said to me hey your a guy, with some very inappropriate language and I replied really, however, you are incorrect, I will not say why, as that's none of your business ok. after that comment to him and with the fact I conveyed much confidence he went quiet and obviously he become lost for words and realised everyone in the garage had started looking, not at me, but at him, unfortunately the day turned out not to be a good day for him, the lock smith arrived and i got my car fuelled and went home.

Confidence, Attitude, Positiveness, Politeness, Cheerfulness are all attributes that will help with most situations. These days when i go out, touch wood, they normally well all through with no developments, just a lovely day out.

Regards

Melissa

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