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    • #401190

      I spend a good deal of time planning my dressing adventures because my SO does not know that I have a feminine side, and I am sure no one else does either.  Many hours are spent looking at women’s clothes and desiring to dress up when I can. Most days it is just under-dressing, and I do want to dress more and more as time goes on. One recurring theme is getting caught or found out, which I hope never happens. In a weird way in which I can not totally explain, I sometimes derive pleasure from the though of being caught or found out. I know this is crazy and probably makes no since to anyone else but me. I suspect it comes from when I was a young boy sneaking my mothers  and sisters clothes and being fearful of getting caught. I am wondering if any other cross-dressers has these fears of being caught? And are they kind of a turn on for you?

    • #401207
      Anonymous

      I was recently discovered by my so.   I downloaded some pics she wanted and thought I had sanitized the album but some must have come through from the cloud.   Next thing she was asking me is why I am dressed like a lady ?  She then proceeded through different stages of anger.    She outed meto my daughters and some friends.  We are talking but it’s hard.   She doesn’t understand not sure where it’s going or how will it end.    She has started to playfully tease me a bit about it but I won’t to get too excited about that casual acceptance.       I had kept it secreted foreverand always worried about discovery but half the time wishing it would come out.   Nowthat it has I feel a bit relieve but unsure of how to proceed.  My wife really doesn’t know the full extent of my dressing or that I consider myself trans.   Time will tell.

       

    • #401234
      Kassie
      Lady

      I sometimes get that with other family members apart from my wife (she already knows.)

      I kinda almost want them to find out or discover, but also at the same time dread that ever happening. For me, it’s more the Schrodinger’s cat effect. I assume that Scenario A, they will be disgusted and shun me from their lives, but a part of me also wanders if it would be Scenario B and that they would actually just accept it and be fine with it… Maybe even ask me about it? It could just fall either way with my family members but I don’t know which.

      And then if it becomes scenario B, I would then wonder if I could have told them or let them discover my dressing years earlier… and I dunno… maybe might have received cute tops for my past birthdays instead of the generic boy stuff I got given? I just also wander how my conversations with family members would be going forward. Would they try to just bypass and ignore the subject as much as possible or maybe start to talk to me more about feminine topics?

      I guess that’s the kinda curiosity I get from maybe getting caught dressing by them. I sure as heck don’t feel I want to just out and tell them though.

    • #401239

      Hi Vanity,

      I do worry about being “caught”. I have not shared my femininity with my wife, and, while I have thought about doing so, I have no intention of doing so.

      Like yourself, the thoughts of womanhood are with me all the time. As I’ve shared with my Very Best Friend my journey into womanhood is, in a sense, fulfilled. The absolutely joy I feel when fully dressed, like I am now, is beyond words. In my heart I believe I have become a woman.

      Do I fantasize being caught, and liking it? No.

      Love to all,

      Lee Ann

    • #401243

      I’ve been crossdressing for a long time. When I began crossdressing I was young and married so I didn’t get many chances to do it .One day I was home and my wife had gone grocery shopping with her mother I knew she would be gone for a couple of hours, so I got my stash of clothes and got dressed .No sooner had I finished getting dressed and I heard my wife’s voice call out to me wondering where I was? I was in a panic and didn’t answer her .I heard her climbing the stairs and I tried to remove my feminine clothes but there wasn’t enough time to before she came into the bedroom where I was still half undressed and she saw me standing there wearing a garter belt with stockings and a pair of panties covering my prosthetic vagina. I was caught and knew it Well needless to say  she wasn’t very happy about what I was doing. A huge argument ensued and she was crying and upset with me, She never forget about me wearing those feminine clothes and eventually we separated them divorced. It’s just as well because if I hadn’t been caught then, I would have sometime later At least we didn’t waste our lives living a lie. I am a confirmed crossdresser and always will be. Nothing makes me happier than to get dressed en femme and present myself as a female, I’m single and live by myself so I can dress en femme whenever I feel like it I love my life being single. and presenting myself as a girl

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

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    • #401246

      Oh Annie I am so happy for you honey. I so recall the conversations we have had when I could just feel how bunched up you were because you had to hide the fact you are trans, even trying to deny it to yourself. Now you no loonger need to. Hugs. My wife wa furious when i came out to her but in a few months times she gradually accepted, from telling me its ok as long as i keep it inside, to suggesting i needed a feminine day, to her asking me to be her housewife when i got laid off fromm work. Your future seems it wil be very feminine. Girl 💋 👄 kisses.

    • #401252
      Anonymous

      Hi Vanity

      All I can really add is whatever happens, it can only ever end two ways….you can go on hiding it all away, terrified, nervous, snatching brief moments, frustrated and double checking everything…did I pack her all away???…….or you can tell your SO/immediate family….and face it, because the dust WILL eventually settle, and at least it’s all out, they know, but more importantly, YOU told THEM. Then I think it will be down to how strong your love/relationship is that decides what happens next….

      If / when you are ” discovered”, you will be bombarded with” how long has this been going on?” questions, sneaky, deceit, mistrust or even ” why didn’t you tell me” if you are lucky!!!..but the fact that THEY found YOU puts the shoe on the other foot (pardon the pun)…..just MY opinion girl’s, but Def food for thought,

      Grace 💋

    • #401276
      Jackie
      Lady

      Exactly the way I have been feeling lately. Thanks for posting this.  I thought I was the only one to feel that way.

    • #401306
      JOJO
      Lady

      My biggest fear of being caught crossdressed actually occurred when I was very young. I started at a very early age dressing in my mothers’ clothes. I  had to time my dressing in between the time my parents returned from work which was a staggered time hence hard to predict. I was ultra careful to make sure that I put her clothes back in the exact same spot that I took them from when I dressed. I was particularly scared not to put a “run” in her stockings. There is no way that she would have understood or had compassion for my dressing. If she knew or had a idea of it she never said anything.

    • #401310
      Nancy
      Lady

      I’ve always kind of fantisized about getting caught. I’m terrified of it happening, but sometimes push my luck knowing that it increases the risk. I think in my mind, I believe that if I got caught, even if things went badly, at least it would somehow set me free. I wouldn’t have to hide anymore and could openly be the me that I feel like inside. If only I had the courage to just come out and set myself free…

      • #429239
        Nancy
        Lady

        So, I had a small incident while venturing out of my house the other day. I live in the Midwest US, so it’s pretty cold here currently. But, I thought I’d try going out for a little run (short, because I’m not in shape at the moment).  I had on lined running tights, a long sleeved lined running shirt, hat, gloves, a mask (thankfully), and a cute running skirt that I’ve always wanted to wear outside my house. I went out at 5:30 a.m., thinking I wouldn’t run into anyone and even if I did, it will be dark, so maybe they wouldn’t even see the skirt. Well, a few blocks down the street, I did see another runner that I know, on the other side of the street going the opposite direction. The street lights lit things up enough to see each other, but I don’t know if he could make out any detail. He passed by, and neither of us said anything. And, yes, it was someone I know. But, I’m thinking he probably didn’t see, or know what he saw… maybe.

        Still feeling confident that I probably haven’t been identified, I made the mistake of going through downtown, thinking at worse, some cars might drive by. I live in a small town where everybody knows everybody. My bigger mistake was forgetting that there is a little fitness center in the first block when I turned into downtown, and there apparently are people up and using those facilities at 5:30 in the morning. As soon as I turned the corner, I started to realize the error in my thinking, there are a couple cars parked along the street, and I also realized that downtown is very well lit, regardless of the time. I don’t know why I didn’t just cross over to the other side, or at least run out on the street, but I didn’t, I ran on the sidewalk. And as soon as I got by the fitness center, as luck would have it, someone walked out. It was someone that I’ve met and talked to a couple times, but didn’t really know well. I foolishly tried to pull the skirt up, thinking, if it weren’t hanging down to mid thigh, maybe he would just think it was another layer under my shirt or something. In that split second, it seemed like a good decision, except it was a little slick on the sidewalk. And with my clothing distraction, I wiped out right in front of him and dropped my phone. I quickly got up and grabbed my phone to get out of there as fast as I could, not trying to hide the skirt anymore. He stopped and looked at me and said, “Whoa, are you ok?” I just said yeah (in my masculine and distinctive voice), and took off and went straight back to the safety of my house. I turned around to take a peek at his reaction, he didn’t seem to be staring at me or anything, he just went and got in his pickup to leave.

        That exposure was scary, but on the other hand, he didn’t say anything that made me think he even cared what I was wearing. No mob showed up at my door or anything. Life just went on. Maybe it doesn’t really matter to most people what clothing someone happens to wear. Maybe the mask helped keep my identity secret. All I know is that I want to go out in a running skirt again, preferably somewhere out of my home town, and hopefully when it’s warmer and I don’t need a layer covering my legs.

    • #401319
      Angela Booth
      Hostess

      It depends what age you are and your circumstances. It seems there a lot of older girls here who are in a marriage and harboring a secret. A lot can happen if found out.

      There are many ways it can go, as contributors here have given examples.

      The first fear is coming out and being open. The fear of the reaction will be.

      There is the fear of being caught. To some it could be the thrill of the chase, as it where, part of the experience.

      There are those who, perhaps, can’t bring themselves to admit to their partners but will leave the odd clue here and there in an innocent manner. If found then the conversation begins. Through this deliberate act there is fear of course but it opens up the arena of ‘What happens next’.

      Then there are those who would never want to be caught. Not only is there a fear of it but also the fear of the repercussions. This is where they know that it would never be accepted. The fear of being caught and losing everything. The drive will never go away and the fear is real.

      It is a complex issue for girls like us. But then look on the other side.  Imagine it were you being told by your partner, finding clues or by another means. Imagine how you would feel. A lot that would apply to us applies to them too.

       

       

    • #401322
      Anonymous

      Vanity,

      It was my fear of getting caught that led me to coming out to my wife. I was sneaking out on the weekend changing in the truck.  My desire to dress becoming stronger. I was so afraid she would find something I did not put away. I remember the conversation the fight the almost separation. But some how we made it. I don’t say that she understands it.  But she accepts it. She even kissed me with lipstick on. I called her brothers and sisters and told them I called her best girl friend and told her. So that she did not have to keep it a secret. No one has shunned me. No one I work with knows and I don’t plan on telling them. I work in a very man world. We have not been out dressed together.  But we have shopped together. I have bought a dress and shoes with her by my side.
      vanessa

    • #401329
      Anonymous

      i havent got caught yet, but we can never tell when that might happen. it could happen anytime. you could be dressed and out driving or walking and get hit by another car.. you could fall and get hurt and need help. so many things could go wrong. you might just have a bad day. leave stuff out. your going to get caught someday. deal with it when it happens. and if for some reason you never get caught and die. someone is going to have to clean out your house and find all your stuff. nobody wants to get caught or do we? i think if we didnt want to get caught we wouldnt be sneaking around. its our little secret. one we would like to keep as long as posable.

    • #401337

      i pretty sure we all have dreamt of getting caught one way or another .and ive no doubt there have been a few times i nearly did , sometimes as has been said no matter how carful you are things get misplaced or left out , when you think youve done all you can to hind things they turn up .My wife knows who iam but like some still refuses to believe it and thinks its just a habit i can stop. so i try to be carful what i leave laying about or put into the laundry basket .however that said there are times i leave things on purpose to be found , and sometimes i was someone other than my wife would find them so i dont have to hide anymore .

      sonia xxx

    • #401339
      Anonymous

      I have been out to my wife for a long time. About a month ago, I was partially caught by my stepdaughter. She stopped by and I cleaned all the makeup off my face in a hurry, except she saw some eyeliner that I did not get off. We had a good laugh and I owe her a long talk. I am sure will will accept.

      Kay

    • #401340
      Elaine
      Duchess

      My spouse is so observant that there is no way I could hide crosdressing from her, and sure ’nuff, when I did tell her she was not surprised.  Hurt but not surprised.

      I do this thing I call ‘thoughts while shaving’ – soooo thoughts while shaving –  how much easier it would be if I got caught by someone and they told everyone so now I can just dress whenever I want and they either accept that or not.

      One day I was home alone completely dressed until about noon expecting workmen in the afternoon.  Doorbell rang, I checked the security camera, it was the workmen.  I got the schedule wrong.  So I opened the door.  Pregnant pause.  After a few awkward moments they went about their business.  I spent a couple hours with them en femme, paid the bill and they went on their way.  That experience emboldened me to start opening the door whenever anyone showed up at the house unannounced.  Usually solicitor’s, oftentimes church recruiters.   But one day a neighbor.  Same experience as with the workmen.  That led me to realize people don’t care as much as I think they do.  So I started going out around town openly en femme.

      All that to say – perhaps I too subconsciously wanted to get caught.

      Elaine

    • #401350

      Well, when I was about 13 I got busted by my Mom, several pairs of  panties in both hands, while wearing a pair (and nothing else.)

      Definitely would not wish that on my worst enemy!

    • #401352

      I lived in mortal fear of being caught.

      It’s a terrible place to be, and ridiculous at the same time, and this was my main motivation for “coming out”.

      As far as I see it now and at the time, it wasn’t so much coming out as setting myself free.

      Far from being unfair on my wife, it’s being totally fair on both of us. I knew I could not control her reaction, but also that I have every right to be whoever I am without fear of reproach.

      I don’t want to be “caught”, hence I am as open as possible where practical, so that I at least have some chance to fully be myself.

      If anyone notices my underwear it’s accidental, and the same as if they’d noticed anyone else’s underwear!

      “Are those women’s knickers?”

      “No, they’re mine.”

      “Have you been wearing makeup?”

      “Yes”.

      “Why?”

      “Why not? Makeup has been genderless since the 1980s”.

      And so on.

      I am never caught because I’m not doing anything wrong, or that I don’t want people to know about.

      I keep it mostly concealed around my family and their friends because that’s how my wife wants it, but I’m working on that, very slowly and carefully, having seen first hand what prejudice and bigotry can do.

      Love Laura

      • #401358
        Anonymous

        Laura!!!

        Are those women’s knickers?”

        “No, they’re mine.”

        …… that’s made my day… wonderful.

        Grace 💋

      • #427282
        Anonymous

        Laura,

        I love your answer, and I totally agree. I also wanted the freedom to be “me”, and I didn’t like the idea of keeping secrets; so I outed myself. It worked out better than I expected, though I do have to hide Bettylou from our kids and her friends. Wish I didn’t have to, but it’s a small price to pay.

        Hugs,
        Bettylou

    • #401389
      Anonymous

      I thought I was too clever in hiding everything and that wife would never find out… one day after almost 15 years of dressing she unfortunately came home hours before planned and found me upstairs half naked (as I had just been able to undress) and still with makeup which I tried to hide the best I could…. her only comment was to get cleaned up… afterwards the “usual” questions why? am I gay – I ought to get conselling for my “problem”, what would family and friends say if they found out….etc  Only to give some stupid excuses hoping it would go away…. the subject was not raised again yet my wife – I think – knew I continued as she discovered one extra suitcase in the car when I went for a business trip… only remark ” you do not go out?” which I ofcourse answered “never”.

      Believe a strong love and common sence (be more careful when dressing in the future as it never stopped with me) will mend the surprise of being caught!?

    • #401454

      Vanity – There is an entire sub genre of erotic literature on the theme of getting caught while crossdressed, as I’m sure you already know. I think there are a lot of crossdressers who are in hiding, from spouses, family, coworkers and so on, but (speaking for myself) we want to be seen, to face the world as ourselves. For many reasons, coming out is not an option for some of us. For others, we harbor a secret shame, maybe because of a religious upbringing or just living in a culture in which masculinity and femininity are clearly defined and sharply divided.

      In my case, it might just be an irrational fear, as I don’t think the consequences would be pretty. Nonetheless, I find myself at night going out to places where I might get found out, dressed to the nines in short skirt and high heels, full makeup, heart pounding, with nowhere to run, hoping no one “catches” me, or maybe hoping someone does. These excursions are both thrilling and frightening to me, and in the morning I often wonder why I do them.

      So rest assured you are not alone. Many of us have the same fears, and yes, it can be a turn-on! 💋

    • #401533

      Absolutely dear.
      I think the most common fantasy is about getting caught. The issue is finally out in the open  and they receive acceptance possibly even encouragement or assistance.
      I’m aware that some have the fantasy of forced feminization and I would also have to assume that other fantasies would involve some form of punishment.
      Regardless dear. with the myriad of personal complexes and life situations in this crazy mixed up world I believe it would be far stranger if you where the only one with such fantasies.

    • #401676

      I skipped all replies to reply to this. I only made it as far as it may seem strange.

      I understand totally. I didn’t want to get caught. None of us do . That’s an awful storm of God knows what. I haven’t been caught tonmy knowledge spare a recent episode when I got caught by my fiancé in her sports bra. I came out to her later that night. She didn’t say anything when she caught me bit I knew it was time.

      Anyway I have always wanted to get caught because then I wouldn’t have to start the very hard conversation about my crossdressing. Of course you want to get caught. It in a way makes it easier but not really at all.

      In my experience coming out was exceptionally hard and continues to be exceptionally hard. Might as well put it out there and see what happens . Hiding is worse than coming clean. The longer you hide the worse it is. I hid it for 10 years. Some hide it for 20 plus.

      I’m glad I opened when I did and I wish I would have done it sooner. The pain is real and it will be there. Nothing can be done about that.

      Let loved ones know. Not your family necessarily but your SO.

    • #401707

      [postquote quote=401657]
      Thanks a bunch! You’re right. We need to stop using caught because we aren’t doing anything wrong. I think being discovered is a much better way of stating it.

    • #401847

      Bobbi

      Caught is exactly what I meant to say, no question about it. We are all on different paths of our journey and what is right for one may not be for another. No there is nothing wrong with what we do when we cross dress. But we are not in the main stream either. Most men would frown on what we gladly want to do. Some of us are not as out as others, that does not make us wrong to feel the way that we do. Just my opinion, and clearly I may be in the minority..

    • #401948

      I am in “the camp” of hoping not to get caught — ever. We have talked about my desires and in a something or a don’t ask and don’t tell situation but I would never, ever want to do something that would hurt her. This is not what she “signed on for” when we got married, as I was in what I guess was a state of remission – having not thought much about it for years. Anyway, this is about me and not her deal so I am happy to leave it as that and someday, Terri will just disappear from the real world. She may continue for a time in the Internet world, but at some point that too will stop going forward.

    • #402279
      Anonymous

      I get it. A “be careful what you wish for” situation. I too fond the thought exciting but I’m reality, it would be devastating.

    • #402331
      Stephanie
      Lady

      Getting caught.  Personally, I think caught is the right choice of words and I don’t view them in a negative sense. My granddaughters caught me at Walmart one eve. Being at Walmart isn’t wrong, but what I was wearing was completely contradictory to everything they knew about me.  I am glad they caught me in Walmart. Was what I wearing wrong?  I don’t think so, but here, it is just my opinion. What made this whole situation “wrong” is that I was willing to accept someone else opinion In regards to the right or wrong of my actions and dress at that moment. What makes getting “caught “ wrong is those tough conversations that follow.  How you handle that will be the biggest issue, handle it well getting, “caught” could be the best thing that happens in your life, handle the conversation poorly, then getting caught could be the worst disaster known known to man. (Or woman

    • #402380
      NYCD7
      Lady

      Before I got caught I fantasized about it. Would it be the wild turn on for my gf I imagined or the tragic nightmare I often thought it would be. Well to my surprise it was neither. I get busted when my gf comes back for something she forgot and has since both teased me and helped me. She gives me makeup tips and even shares my makeup often saying I have better makeup than her and will not spend the money I do on makeup. On the other hand says she is jealous of my dressing and wonders if she is enough woman for me.

      • #430026

        My wife as well has mentioned how I look when dressed and if she is enough for me!!

      • #431314

        Lol, my wife is also a little jealous, she tells me I’m a better looking woman than her,but I dont see it that way
        As for being caught, I came out to her as soon as I accepted myself, because I believe in total honesty.
        The rest of the world? Yes, I would like to b discovered, if only because then I would freely be “out” and about, and dont quite have the courage yet on my own.
        Regi.

    • #402414
      Stevie65
      Lady

      Caught is not a bad word period. Like i caught a fish i caught a cold i got caught dressing is not either bad or good. It can be both. You can use found out as well.

      To get caught or found out dressing is a wish for some and a voidance for others. I have been caught once and someone found out after running into me that i was a crossdresser. Either way the more steps you take to go out of your comfort zone the eazier it will become.

       

      Stevie

    • #427176

      I do not fully dress it is primarily undressing so being caught is a bit different fir me. I wear solid color bikini or hipster panties to the doctor or anyplace that my panties would be on display. Frankly I embrace the idea that at least the gg nurses will know they are panties and sometimes I see a little smile but no comments so far.

    • #427188

      I came out to wife early in 2020 but for the previous year or so I started intentionally being far less careful about putting her lingerie back exactly as I found it, knowing and hoping it might get me caught since I lacked the nerve to come out to her at the time. Hope that helps.

      • #428787
        Anonymous

        [postquote quote=427188]
        Hi Cindy!  So was this the icebreaker that started the “conversation”?

        leslie❤️

        • #428790

          No, oddly enough my wife is a bit of a neat freak and she never noticed. During our first lockdown in March I came up with the courage to go for it, and I spilled.

    • #427825

      When I was younger and still lived at home, I very much so had a fear of getting caught, It was not because I felt wrong doing it, but because my parent’s were not the open minded type of parent’s, and were not above using force to punish my brother, or my self.

    • #427834
      Anonymous

      Yes but certainly not by my SO. I imagine the initial embarrassment and humiliation followed by acceptance…what a storm of emotions that would be. This is a frequent scenario I think about.

    • #429953
      Becka
      Lady

      Hi Vanity,

      Getting caught is always a concern for me, as I go out (all the time now) in my hybrid dress mode. Gurl jeans, shoes, undergarments and shoes. Flats or booties.

      I live in a “liberal” town, but everyone dresses pretty conservatively, with the men in “uniform” e.g., matching bermuda shorts, polo shirts et al. One time (my funny story and sorry if you’ve heard this before), I was outside a store downtown waiting for it to open. I was wearing capri length jeans, black flat, my legs are always shaved smooth, and a regular white shirt. Up walked up a couple I knew. They stopped to talk, and the male is a very self centered person. He was going on and on about him and how he worked hard to get his son into a prestigious college. His wife however, was looking me up and down! She was obviously in tune with what I was wearing! Her facial expressions were somewhat questioning, but the real funny thing was, I gave her the once over and she and I were practically wearing the same outfit!!!

      Her top was a different color! They went on their way and all I could do was laugh about it. He did not notice a thing!

      Enjoy,
      Rebecka!

    • #431310

      I share your fantasy but as someone has already said, not by my SO… this has already happened lol. I will tell the story of this first:

      we had just got engaged, we were in Mexico and she had left me in the hotel room for what I thought was a significant length of time… she had been fine for 5 minutes when I stripped off my shorts and t-shirt and located the bra and panties I wanted to try. I followed this with a black knee length skirt and open toe shoes with a small heel. I was searching for a suitable top when the door to the room opened and in she walked… me stood in her clothes. It nearly ended us before we’d even started making wedding plans… her initial reaction was to run. I was stripped her clothes off immediately and sat waiting for her to return which she did 20 minutes later. She asked all the questions you’d expect and then asked me to dress again which I did. She took loads of pictures to humiliate me, which to one extent it did but to the other, it turned me on to be exposed like this. We had the best sex ever. She came to accept it somewhat and over the years we have had some very sexy times when I have been dressed as Cheryl, including on our honeymoon.

      that brings me to the thought of being caught by others… I find it a massive thrill and try to put myself in positions where I might be caught/exposed/questioned especially when shopping for new lingerie but alas it never turns heads… I don’t know why it is such a thrill, possibly the exhibitionist in me and my desire to be mildly humiliated

    • #538521

      The guys at work supect. I’ve been asked and replied honestly. Yes I am. They never seen me fully dressed. I work out of town and. Am staying in a campground. With a couple of other guys from work. I had been to Walmart. Yep in full dress. I backed up at my camper to unload my groceries. When a friend from work drove up. I had now where to go. So I stopped unloading and talked to him. Yep in full dress my heart beating out of my chest. I said this is the real me. He looked at me and said I know you, and what you wear doesn’t change who you are to me. I’ll still be your friend no matter what. He asked for a picture and I said ok. I haven’t heard anyone at work say anything. So I guess he hasn’t told what he saw. But yes my fear was greater than the actually getting seen.

    • #538526
      Anonymous
      Lady

      Just read through everyones posts…. amazing. We all share common obstacles and go through similar feelings so its no wonder we naturally sympathize and support each other. I think CD’s have the qualities of an undercover secret agent.

      When I was younger I was so fearful of being caught I overcompensated in masculine ways even getting married to prove I was not bi but a normal straight male. I was only “caught” when my new wife found one of my bras and demanded to know who my girlfriend was. The following heated conversation was with the usual questions and of course counseling was ordered by her. I did what most CD’s would do which was lie my ass off and go deep in the closet for the next thirty years or so. She never “caught” me during that time but had suspicions. I think my success was because I would purge on a regular basis so there was nothing to find until I started buying again. Yep it was expensive. It was only about 6 years ago that I could no longer live with my secret and came out to her. After a roller coaster ride of emotions she doesn’t want to see Michelle and does not participate but tolerates it. It works for us. The upside is I don’t have to hide anymore.

      I underdress and am more androgynous in my daily look now so getting “caught” would be by family or friends noticing something like my bra or some other normally feminine thing I do and them having questions. At my age and past history I’ve gotten to the point where I really don’t care what others think…. its my life.

    • #538577
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess

      Vanity I feel your pain. I’m in fear of being caught, but at the same time I wish I would be caught. It would end all of the sneaking around.

      Hugs, Liara

    • #539167
      Anonymous

      Hi Vanity,

      Getting caught is my fear, dread, wish, hope and an expectation.

      Getting caught by my wife would remove the responsibility of telling her that I’m dressing, again. I fear the consequences but it would force me to have “the talk”.

      An expectation because I’m pushing the envelope more and more, taking chances I’ve never taken before (like writing this post) and waiting until the last possible second to de-girl.

      It’s almost as if I’m trying to get caught.

      Hugs, Jillian

    • #401248
      Anonymous

      A NET FOR HOLDING LEMONS!!!

      …..my god girl, you are getting worse!?!??

      ……haha, grace ❤️

    • #538475

      When a fish gets caught, it is not doing anything wrong.  It just wants to go on doing what it does and not be drug into a boat and served for dinner.   The word does not imply wrong doing, that is your interpretation.  I interpret “caught” as being pulled into an unwelcome situation that will indefinitely affect my life and the ones I love. And not always for the better.   Unfortunately this is the world we live in.   Be excepting of others courage to be discovered, and hope it’s contagious.

    • #538501
      Anonymous

      You are correct, Bobbi; this thing we do is neither illegal, immoral nor fattening. The proper word would be “discovered”. But there are circumstances where discovery could endanger your job or family relations, and (rarely) put you at risk of bodily harm. I can’t argue against the word “caught” in such situations. As for myself, I have adopted the Rhett Butler** attitude with regards to being discovered.

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

      ** “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a d**n”.

    • #539135
      Kimmie
      Lady

      To be honest, I’m a little confused by your experiencing anger. For those of us “stealth” CD’ers, there is always a bit of a risk/reward balance to deciding how much of our CD’ing we allow the world to see. I shave my legs and have expected, but not experienced (beyond my wife and daughter), people to notice and and ask me. I would expect the same if I shaved my arms. I don’t shave them because I don’t want to risk having to explain.

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