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  • #401190
    Vanity Fair
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    Registered On: November 1, 2019
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    I spend a good deal of time planning my dressing adventures because my SO does not know that I have a feminine side, and I am sure no one else does either.  Many hours are spent looking at women’s clothes and desiring to dress up when I can. Most days it is just under-dressing, and I do want to dress more and more as time goes on. One recurring theme is getting caught or found out, which I hope never happens. In a weird way in which I can not totally explain, I sometimes derive pleasure from the though of being caught or found out. I know this is crazy and probably makes no since to anyone else but me. I suspect it comes from when I was a young boy sneaking my mothers  and sisters clothes and being fearful of getting caught. I am wondering if any other cross-dressers has these fears of being caught? And are they kind of a turn on for you?

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    • #402414
      Stevie65
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      Caught is not a bad word period. Like i caught a fish i caught a cold i got caught dressing is not either bad or good. It can be both. You can use found out as well.

      To get caught or found out dressing is a wish for some and a voidance for others. I have been caught once and someone found out after running into me that i was a crossdresser. Either way the more steps you take to go out of your comfort zone the eazier it will become.

       

      Stevie

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    • #402380
      NYCD7
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      Before I got caught I fantasized about it. Would it be the wild turn on for my gf I imagined or the tragic nightmare I often thought it would be. Well to my surprise it was neither. I get busted when my gf comes back for something she forgot and has since both teased me and helped me. She gives me makeup tips and even shares my makeup often saying I have better makeup than her and will not spend the money I do on makeup. On the other hand says she is jealous of my dressing and wonders if she is enough woman for me.

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    • #402331
      Stephanie
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      Getting caught.  Personally, I think caught is the right choice of words and I don’t view them in a negative sense. My granddaughters caught me at Walmart one eve. Being at Walmart isn’t wrong, but what I was wearing was completely contradictory to everything they knew about me.  I am glad they caught me in Walmart. Was what I wearing wrong?  I don’t think so, but here, it is just my opinion. What made this whole situation “wrong” is that I was willing to accept someone else opinion In regards to the right or wrong of my actions and dress at that moment. What makes getting “caught “ wrong is those tough conversations that follow.  How you handle that will be the biggest issue, handle it well getting, “caught” could be the best thing that happens in your life, handle the conversation poorly, then getting caught could be the worst disaster known known to man. (Or woman

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    • #402279
      Anonymous
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      I get it. A “be careful what you wish for” situation. I too fond the thought exciting but I’m reality, it would be devastating.

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    • #401948
      Terri Johnson
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      I am in “the camp” of hoping not to get caught — ever. We have talked about my desires and in a something or a don’t ask and don’t tell situation but I would never, ever want to do something that would hurt her. This is not what she “signed on for” when we got married, as I was in what I guess was a state of remission – having not thought much about it for years. Anyway, this is about me and not her deal so I am happy to leave it as that and someday, Terri will just disappear from the real world. She may continue for a time in the Internet world, but at some point that too will stop going forward.

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    • #401847
      Vanity Fair
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      Bobbi

      Caught is exactly what I meant to say, no question about it. We are all on different paths of our journey and what is right for one may not be for another. No there is nothing wrong with what we do when we cross dress. But we are not in the main stream either. Most men would frown on what we gladly want to do. Some of us are not as out as others, that does not make us wrong to feel the way that we do. Just my opinion, and clearly I may be in the minority..

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    • #401707
      Jessica Wilde
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      Here we go again.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times.
      The word “caught” implies that you’re doing something wrong!    You are NOT doing anything “wrong”.  Would you ever say you “caught” your wife, daughter, or girlfriend wearing pants????   NOBODY will ever accept us if we don’t first, accept ourselves!

      Thanks a bunch! You’re right. We need to stop using caught because we aren’t doing anything wrong. I think being discovered is a much better way of stating it.

    • #401676
      Jessica Wilde
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      I skipped all replies to reply to this. I only made it as far as it may seem strange.

      I understand totally. I didn’t want to get caught. None of us do . That’s an awful storm of God knows what. I haven’t been caught tonmy knowledge spare a recent episode when I got caught by my fiancé in her sports bra. I came out to her later that night. She didn’t say anything when she caught me bit I knew it was time.

      Anyway I have always wanted to get caught because then I wouldn’t have to start the very hard conversation about my crossdressing. Of course you want to get caught. It in a way makes it easier but not really at all.

      In my experience coming out was exceptionally hard and continues to be exceptionally hard. Might as well put it out there and see what happens . Hiding is worse than coming clean. The longer you hide the worse it is. I hid it for 10 years. Some hide it for 20 plus.

      I’m glad I opened when I did and I wish I would have done it sooner. The pain is real and it will be there. Nothing can be done about that.

      Let loved ones know. Not your family necessarily but your SO.

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    • #401657
      Bobbi
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      Here we go again.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times.
      The word “caught” implies that you’re doing something wrong!    You are NOT doing anything “wrong”.  Would you ever say you “caught” your wife, daughter, or girlfriend wearing pants????   NOBODY will ever accept us if we don’t first, accept ourselves!

    • #401533
      Phoebe Smyth
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      Absolutely dear.
      I think the most common fantasy is about getting caught. The issue is finally out in the open  and they receive acceptance possibly even encouragement or assistance.
      I’m aware that some have the fantasy of forced feminization and I would also have to assume that other fantasies would involve some form of punishment.
      Regardless dear. with the myriad of personal complexes and life situations in this crazy mixed up world I believe it would be far stranger if you where the only one with such fantasies.

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    • #401454
      Lori Stark
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      Vanity – There is an entire sub genre of erotic literature on the theme of getting caught while crossdressed, as I’m sure you already know. I think there are a lot of crossdressers who are in hiding, from spouses, family, coworkers and so on, but (speaking for myself) we want to be seen, to face the world as ourselves. For many reasons, coming out is not an option for some of us. For others, we harbor a secret shame, maybe because of a religious upbringing or just living in a culture in which masculinity and femininity are clearly defined and sharply divided.

      In my case, it might just be an irrational fear, as I don’t think the consequences would be pretty. Nonetheless, I find myself at night going out to places where I might get found out, dressed to the nines in short skirt and high heels, full makeup, heart pounding, with nowhere to run, hoping no one “catches” me, or maybe hoping someone does. These excursions are both thrilling and frightening to me, and in the morning I often wonder why I do them.

      So rest assured you are not alone. Many of us have the same fears, and yes, it can be a turn-on! 💋

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    • #401389
      Helene Bock
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      I thought I was too clever in hiding everything and that wife would never find out… one day after almost 15 years of dressing she unfortunately came home hours before planned and found me upstairs half naked (as I had just been able to undress) and still with makeup which I tried to hide the best I could…. her only comment was to get cleaned up… afterwards the “usual” questions why? am I gay – I ought to get conselling for my “problem”, what would family and friends say if they found out….etc  Only to give some stupid excuses hoping it would go away…. the subject was not raised again yet my wife – I think – knew I continued as she discovered one extra suitcase in the car when I went for a business trip… only remark ” you do not go out?” which I ofcourse answered “never”.

      Believe a strong love and common sence (be more careful when dressing in the future as it never stopped with me) will mend the surprise of being caught!?

    • #401352
      Laura Lovett
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      I lived in mortal fear of being caught.

      It’s a terrible place to be, and ridiculous at the same time, and this was my main motivation for “coming out”.

      As far as I see it now and at the time, it wasn’t so much coming out as setting myself free.

      Far from being unfair on my wife, it’s being totally fair on both of us. I knew I could not control her reaction, but also that I have every right to be whoever I am without fear of reproach.

      I don’t want to be “caught”, hence I am as open as possible where practical, so that I at least have some chance to fully be myself.

      If anyone notices my underwear it’s accidental, and the same as if they’d noticed anyone else’s underwear!

      “Are those women’s knickers?”

      “No, they’re mine.”

      “Have you been wearing makeup?”

      “Yes”.

      “Why?”

      “Why not? Makeup has been genderless since the 1980s”.

      And so on.

      I am never caught because I’m not doing anything wrong, or that I don’t want people to know about.

      I keep it mostly concealed around my family and their friends because that’s how my wife wants it, but I’m working on that, very slowly and carefully, having seen first hand what prejudice and bigotry can do.

      Love Laura

    • #401350
      Rei Durden
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      Well, when I was about 13 I got busted by my Mom, several pairs of  panties in both hands, while wearing a pair (and nothing else.)

      Definitely would not wish that on my worst enemy!

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    • #401340
      Elaine
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      My spouse is so observant that there is no way I could hide crosdressing from her, and sure ’nuff, when I did tell her she was not surprised.  Hurt but not surprised.

      I do this thing I call ‘thoughts while shaving’ – soooo thoughts while shaving –  how much easier it would be if I got caught by someone and they told everyone so now I can just dress whenever I want and they either accept that or not.

      One day I was home alone completely dressed until about noon expecting workmen in the afternoon.  Doorbell rang, I checked the security camera, it was the workmen.  I got the schedule wrong.  So I opened the door.  Pregnant pause.  After a few awkward moments they went about their business.  I spent a couple hours with them en femme, paid the bill and they went on their way.  That experience emboldened me to start opening the door whenever anyone showed up at the house unannounced.  Usually solicitor’s, oftentimes church recruiters.   But one day a neighbor.  Same experience as with the workmen.  That led me to realize people don’t care as much as I think they do.  So I started going out around town openly en femme.

      All that to say – perhaps I too subconsciously wanted to get caught.

      Elaine

    • #401339
      Kay Anderson
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      I have been out to my wife for a long time. About a month ago, I was partially caught by my stepdaughter. She stopped by and I cleaned all the makeup off my face in a hurry, except she saw some eyeliner that I did not get off. We had a good laugh and I owe her a long talk. I am sure will will accept.

      Kay

    • #401337
      Sonia Pink
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      i pretty sure we all have dreamt of getting caught one way or another .and ive no doubt there have been a few times i nearly did , sometimes as has been said no matter how carful you are things get misplaced or left out , when you think youve done all you can to hind things they turn up .My wife knows who iam but like some still refuses to believe it and thinks its just a habit i can stop. so i try to be carful what i leave laying about or put into the laundry basket .however that said there are times i leave things on purpose to be found , and sometimes i was someone other than my wife would find them so i dont have to hide anymore .

      sonia xxx

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    • #401329
      Rachel Cross
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      i havent got caught yet, but we can never tell when that might happen. it could happen anytime. you could be dressed and out driving or walking and get hit by another car.. you could fall and get hurt and need help. so many things could go wrong. you might just have a bad day. leave stuff out. your going to get caught someday. deal with it when it happens. and if for some reason you never get caught and die. someone is going to have to clean out your house and find all your stuff. nobody wants to get caught or do we? i think if we didnt want to get caught we wouldnt be sneaking around. its our little secret. one we would like to keep as long as posable.

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    • #401322
      Vanessa Vanreed
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      Vanity,

      It was my fear of getting caught that led me to coming out to my wife. I was sneaking out on the weekend changing in the truck.  My desire to dress becoming stronger. I was so afraid she would find something I did not put away. I remember the conversation the fight the almost separation. But some how we made it. I don’t say that she understands it.  But she accepts it. She even kissed me with lipstick on. I called her brothers and sisters and told them I called her best girl friend and told her. So that she did not have to keep it a secret. No one has shunned me. No one I work with knows and I don’t plan on telling them. I work in a very man world. We have not been out dressed together.  But we have shopped together. I have bought a dress and shoes with her by my side.
      vanessa

    • #401319
      Angela Booth
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      It depends what age you are and your circumstances. It seems there a lot of older girls here who are in a marriage and harboring a secret. A lot can happen if found out.

      There are many ways it can go, as contributors here have given examples.

      The first fear is coming out and being open. The fear of the reaction will be.

      There is the fear of being caught. To some it could be the thrill of the chase, as it where, part of the experience.

      There are those who, perhaps, can’t bring themselves to admit to their partners but will leave the odd clue here and there in an innocent manner. If found then the conversation begins. Through this deliberate act there is fear of course but it opens up the arena of ‘What happens next’.

      Then there are those who would never want to be caught. Not only is there a fear of it but also the fear of the repercussions. This is where they know that it would never be accepted. The fear of being caught and losing everything. The drive will never go away and the fear is real.

      It is a complex issue for girls like us. But then look on the other side.  Imagine it were you being told by your partner, finding clues or by another means. Imagine how you would feel. A lot that would apply to us applies to them too.

       

       

    • #401310
      Birel Galanodel
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      I’ve always kind of fantisized about getting caught. I’m terrified of it happening, but sometimes push my luck knowing that it increases the risk. I think in my mind, I believe that if I got caught, even if things went badly, at least it would somehow set me free. I wouldn’t have to hide anymore and could openly be the me that I feel like inside. If only I had the courage to just come out and set myself free…

    • #401306
      JOJO
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      My biggest fear of being caught crossdressed actually occurred when I was very young. I started at a very early age dressing in my mothers’ clothes. I  had to time my dressing in between the time my parents returned from work which was a staggered time hence hard to predict. I was ultra careful to make sure that I put her clothes back in the exact same spot that I took them from when I dressed. I was particularly scared not to put a “run” in her stockings. There is no way that she would have understood or had compassion for my dressing. If she knew or had a idea of it she never said anything.

    • #401276
      Jackie
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      Exactly the way I have been feeling lately. Thanks for posting this.  I thought I was the only one to feel that way.

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    • #401252
      Grace Scarlett
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      Hi Vanity

      All I can really add is whatever happens, it can only ever end two ways….you can go on hiding it all away, terrified, nervous, snatching brief moments, frustrated and double checking everything…did I pack her all away???…….or you can tell your SO/immediate family….and face it, because the dust WILL eventually settle, and at least it’s all out, they know, but more importantly, YOU told THEM. Then I think it will be down to how strong your love/relationship is that decides what happens next….

      If / when you are ” discovered”, you will be bombarded with” how long has this been going on?” questions, sneaky, deceit, mistrust or even ” why didn’t you tell me” if you are lucky!!!..but the fact that THEY found YOU puts the shoe on the other foot (pardon the pun)…..just MY opinion girl’s, but Def food for thought,

      Grace 💋

    • #401246
      Julie Carson
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      Oh Annie I am so happy for you honey. I so recall the conversations we have had when I could just feel how bunched up you were because you had to hide the fact you are trans, even trying to deny it to yourself. Now you no loonger need to. Hugs. My wife wa furious when i came out to her but in a few months times she gradually accepted, from telling me its ok as long as i keep it inside, to suggesting i needed a feminine day, to her asking me to be her housewife when i got laid off fromm work. Your future seems it wil be very feminine. Girl 💋 👄 kisses.

    • #401243
      Jannie Murry
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      I’ve been crossdressing for a long time. When I began crossdressing I was young and married so I didn’t get many chances to do it .One day I was home and my wife had gone grocery shopping with her mother I knew she would be gone for a couple of hours, so I got my stash of clothes and got dressed .No sooner had I finished getting dressed and I heard my wife’s voice call out to me wondering where I was? I was in a panic and didn’t answer her .I heard her climbing the stairs and I tried to remove my feminine clothes but there wasn’t enough time to before she came into the bedroom where I was still half undressed and she saw me standing there wearing a garter belt with stockings and a pair of panties covering my prosthetic vagina. I was caught and knew it Well needless to say  she wasn’t very happy about what I was doing. A huge argument ensued and she was crying and upset with me, She never forget about me wearing those feminine clothes and eventually we separated them divorced. It’s just as well because if I hadn’t been caught then, I would have sometime later At least we didn’t waste our lives living a lie. I am a confirmed crossdresser and always will be. Nothing makes me happier than to get dressed en femme and present myself as a female, I’m single and live by myself so I can dress en femme whenever I feel like it I love my life being single. and presenting myself as a girl

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

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    • #401239
      Lee Ann Rakers
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      Hi Vanity,

      I do worry about being “caught”. I have not shared my femininity with my wife, and, while I have thought about doing so, I have no intention of doing so.

      Like yourself, the thoughts of womanhood are with me all the time. As I’ve shared with my Very Best Friend my journey into womanhood is, in a sense, fulfilled. The absolutely joy I feel when fully dressed, like I am now, is beyond words. In my heart I believe I have become a woman.

      Do I fantasize being caught, and liking it? No.

      Love to all,

      Lee Ann

    • #401234
      KHeart
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      I sometimes get that with other family members apart from my wife (she already knows.)

      I kinda almost want them to find out or discover, but also at the same time dread that ever happening. For me, it’s more the Schrodinger’s cat effect. I assume that Scenario A, they will be disgusted and shun me from their lives, but a part of me also wanders if it would be Scenario B and that they would actually just accept it and be fine with it… Maybe even ask me about it? It could just fall either way with my family members but I don’t know which.

      And then if it becomes scenario B, I would then wonder if I could have told them or let them discover my dressing years earlier… and I dunno… maybe might have received cute tops for my past birthdays instead of the generic boy stuff I got given? I just also wander how my conversations with family members would be going forward. Would they try to just bypass and ignore the subject as much as possible or maybe start to talk to me more about feminine topics?

      I guess that’s the kinda curiosity I get from maybe getting caught dressing by them. I sure as heck don’t feel I want to just out and tell them though.

    • #401233
      stephanie plumb
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      Been there. Done that. My wife knows but doesn’t approve.

      It’s the little things that give you away, or cause suspicion.

      Such as a wig net accidentally dropped on the garage floor. I tried to pass that off as a net for holding lemons!  Purchase receipts.  Return receipts from the post office.  Lipstick smeared tissue in dressing gown pocket.  Razor left in downstairs loo. Tags off clothing.  Amazon packaging with drop off locker as the delivery address.  Odd bits of plastic from packaging.  Google search history.

      It doesn’t matter how careful you are, if you get distracted, or are careless when getting out/putting away your stuff you will eventually leave a clue.   Like a skirt I left on a chair.

      Or a handbag and set of breast  forms on a recycling box in the garage!  I was getting ready to put them away when I was distracted by the doorbell.  My wife found them!  So I was now “out” big time.

      I’m just disorganised you might think. But I’m not. I am quite meticulous and search every room after a “gender event”  to the point of being OCD.  Yet still over many years I have made mistakes.

      Only the other day I found a shoe balanced on a bikes handlebars in the garage. It had fallen from my shoe box (which is in the roof  space directly above) when I was rummaging about.

      Now to answer your question. Yes it does happen to me. My wife once said “it’s as if you want to be caught.”  And maybe I did.  I didn’t have the courage to talk to her so maybe subliminally I unknowingly made mistakes.    After the handbag/forms discovery I was pleased she had found them. I had no more to hide.

      Stephanie P

      • #401248
        Grace Scarlett
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        A NET FOR HOLDING LEMONS!!!

        …..my god girl, you are getting worse!?!??

        ……haha, grace ❤️

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        • #401287
          stephanie plumb
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          I prefer a (strong) net for holding melons, these days – when I am in Carol Kirkwood mode.  I have a pair of H’s for then.

          Steph 👓

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    • #401221
      Anna Christ
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      I use to be like that. But then i came out & now everyone knows & if they dont they end up knowing about it because im open about it.

      Nows its just the weird looks i get when im looking for women stuff to buy.

      Sure i dont try it on because for the most part i know my sizes so i just look & look.

      But i do get that weird feeling that runs threw me when i go shopping for women stuff.

      The same feeling i get when i would think what if i get caught.

      Its fun & the looks i get make me all tingly inside.

      I just want people to say something like oh shopping for your women or something just so i can say

      Nope it all for me.

      Im the alternative life style & im tring to find stuff i like & that my wifey will like also.

       

      Thanks for the post.

      Brought back old times.

      Anna

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    • #401207
      Annie Potts
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      I was recently discovered by my so.   I downloaded some pics she wanted and thought I had sanitized the album but some must have come through from the cloud.   Next thing she was asking me is why I am dressed like a lady ?  She then proceeded through different stages of anger.    She outed meto my daughters and some friends.  We are talking but it’s hard.   She doesn’t understand not sure where it’s going or how will it end.    She has started to playfully tease me a bit about it but I won’t to get too excited about that casual acceptance.       I had kept it secreted foreverand always worried about discovery but half the time wishing it would come out.   Nowthat it has I feel a bit relieve but unsure of how to proceed.  My wife really doesn’t know the full extent of my dressing or that I consider myself trans.   Time will tell.

       

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