- March 20, 2019 at 2:54 pm #162002
Brittany VaiParticipantRegistered On: March 6, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 9Has thanked: 51 timesBeen thanked: 46 times
Occasionally I reflect on my dressing in order to try and understand why it’s so important to me. I know I shouldn’t care, but societal “norms” are always lurking and they are hard to dismiss sometimes.
So I started wondering. If I were able to walk out the front door tomorrow, dressed as though it had never been a problem to do otherwise, would I still do it (it may be important to note that I’m straight and not trans for the sake of the poll).
There were a couple of reasons for asking myself this question. First, it seems like a lot of genetic women complain about shaving their legs, doing makeup, uncomfortable heels, pantyhose issues, etc. Would this also be an issue for me? Male attire is admittedly easier.
Secondly, society tends to put the “fetish” label on male crossdressing, which annoys me to no end. Mainly because women crossdress everyday and no one bats an eye. Regardless, if the taboo were removed, would I continue to dress or would the “fetish” subside with sudden acceptance.
I believe I would likely continue to dress. Perhaps 50% of the time in dresses and the remainder split between masculine/feminine jeans, leggings, so on.
Anyway, sorry for the long post. I’m looking forward to seeing your answers. Have fun!
Total of 30 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- April 19, 2019 at 2:06 am #169666anne-marieParticipantRegistered On: August 26, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 134Has thanked: 215 timesBeen thanked: 104 times
No question about this for me. Not only would I continue to dress ‘en femme’ but I would do so much more. It would mean being able to go to work ‘en femme’ without fear of discrimination or having to worry about the effect that I my be having on my clients e.g. would they still engage fully in therapeutic appointments with a guy in a dress.
Then there’s tbe times when I’ve got home, changed into my evening attire i.e. skirt and blouse, then realised I need to go to the supermarket to pick up some milk or whatever. Now its change back to drab then back to femme after the shops – it’s a real pain so it would be great to not feel like I had to change and just bob off to the shop. I would also be able to saunter round the clothes section whilst there and perhaps make an addition to my collection.
Come to think of it, would I continue to dress? Massive yes, I would probably become 24/7.
Take care girls.
- March 24, 2019 at 3:10 am #162930Khloe WestParticipantRegistered On: August 27, 2015Topics: 2Replies: 99Has thanked: 134 timesBeen thanked: 61 times
My “daily look” as a handyman/contractor likely would equate to “tomboy”.
On the flip? It can be a memorable marketing and “branding” moment.
Even when in denim bottoms and a T? Always from the other side of the aisle.
Add the 24/7 painted nails and the daily shoes being Mary Jane’s?
- March 23, 2019 at 9:04 am #162724BobbiParticipantRegistered On: September 13, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 489Has thanked: 420 timesBeen thanked: 568 times
I was never one to beg permission, or forgiveness. Whether or not, society accepts me, is of no consequence to me.
I suppose, I would rather society accepts me, but the fact of the matter is that I’m here, whether they like it or not.
I will not change for anybody.
- March 22, 2019 at 1:26 pm #162583fiona mossAmbassadorRegistered On: October 7, 2018Topics: 241Replies: 917Has thanked: 1725 timesBeen thanked: 1245 times
Lol, i think this poll is definately going to be a yes!! i voted yes! i mean, why would anyone not dress if it was 100% acceptable, i for one would never be drab again!!! ahhhh we can only dream 🙂
- March 22, 2019 at 10:36 am #162551Tanya DaleParticipantRegistered On: February 10, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 95Has thanked: 284 timesBeen thanked: 105 times
I voted “yes”. I think I would dress 100% of the time but is this the lure of the unattainable, loving what I know I can’t have but if I got it would I love it? I love dressing but would I love it if I could do it all the time?
- March 22, 2019 at 1:33 pm #162584Brittany VaiParticipantRegistered On: March 6, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 9Has thanked: 51 timesBeen thanked: 46 times
“I love dressing but would I love it if I could do it all the time”?
This is the exact question I ask myself occasionally, and why I chose to submit this poll. I think you phrased it perfectly.
I dress because I love feeling feminine and being closer to that thing I admire so much (women). There are times when I feel like dressing, but also feel too lazy to do my hair, makeup, etc. That said, I likely wouldn’t dress every day for the same reasons genetic women don’t get dolled up everyday. It can be burdensome.
Perhaps another way of asking this question would be, “Would I continue dressing en femme if it became mainstream or would I somehow embrace that “thing” that sets women apart and emulate that thing instead”. Rhetorically speaking, what would make dressing en femme special if everyone were doing it?
Just food for thought.
- March 22, 2019 at 8:08 am #162518Jessica V.ParticipantRegistered On: October 16, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 3Has thanked: 4 timesBeen thanked: 5 times
Absolutely! OMG! Don’t know what would give out first, my heels or my credit cards! To be able to hear my stilettos click clack on my walk from my car to the front of a store would be such an amazing experience. To be able to walk hand in hand with my wife around the mall and try on outfits would be OUT OF THIS WORLD! love the poll but this is a no-brainer.
- March 22, 2019 at 7:01 am #162506Barb EncourtParticipantRegistered On: November 25, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 8Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 11 times
Half of the fun is getting dressed elegant sexy fem or elegant sexy soccer mom style
This morning I dressed nicely for my usual breakfast hour at Panera before I headed to the Office.
I was so wanting to wear fem all day but I had to change into my regular good looking guy business attire before I came here to the Office
I would happily wear fem most if not most every day if I could
- March 22, 2019 at 12:45 am #162440
- March 22, 2019 at 12:26 am #162436
- March 21, 2019 at 10:45 pm #162427
- March 21, 2019 at 10:29 pm #162425Caty RyanParticipantRegistered On: August 27, 2017Topics: 29Replies: 253Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 287 times
My answer is yes and I would love to be able to “put my Caty on” and go about my business in the outside world without a care as and when I felt like it.. I’d also love to FINALLY do a complete body shave as that’s the one thing remaining I have not done to complete my femme self. (OK I did it once on a business trip 30 years ago, but got into deep do do with the then “boss” when I got home!
It would be optional for me as there are times when the male me just feels like the male gear. So much easier and nowhere near as much prep time. BUT…. I would always be Caty undeneath the above if I could.
The other factor is the 40+degC Australian summers. Its tough enough indoors with the aircon on on days like the above, so male me would wish to stay that way on these occasions
Remember the famous old crossdresser saying, “CD’ing is a winter sport”.
- March 21, 2019 at 8:58 pm #162416Michelle BrownParticipantRegistered On: August 23, 2015Topics: 2Replies: 34Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 25 times
My answer is YES .To me,its very fulfilling to be dressed enfemme.If I could ,I would,although my taser belt would have to be color co ordinated.
- March 21, 2019 at 6:13 pm #162397Michelle LiefdeAmbassadorRegistered On: May 27, 2018Topics: 33Replies: 749Has thanked: 901 timesBeen thanked: 556 times
You have asked a very interesting poll question. The relief and comfort I feel when I get to express Michelle has been liberating and if it was socially acceptable, it would be even more freeing.
- March 21, 2019 at 2:33 pm #162346Anne PreussParticipantRegistered On: December 13, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 258Has thanked: 309 timesBeen thanked: 259 times
It’s the whole societal thing that’s holding me back. I certainly don’t dress because there is a risk factor, forbidden fruit aspect to dressing. I dress because I love to look at the woman in the mirror. The few times I have gone public, I loved the thrill of being what I truly want to be in public. Omigosh, if tomorrow we could dress whatever way we wanted to without repercussion, I’d be dressing every day (and max out the credit card that same day).
- March 21, 2019 at 11:39 am #162300
- March 21, 2019 at 10:30 am #162281ReneParticipantRegistered On: March 7, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 19Has thanked: 27 timesBeen thanked: 33 times
It’s a big yes for me, though there is a certain pleasure i get from “the secret” there are just so so many days i get up and want so very much to put on “Rene” and go to work, eat lunch and just…well… live my life the way i feel. I sort of dream of a world where i could choose, day to day or even hour to hour just how i wanted to dress without it being some big deal, without a “coming out” just business as usual. I could do my job every bit as good dressed in skirts as i do in pants, some days better!
- March 21, 2019 at 9:28 am #162264Amy MyersParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 139Has thanked: 228 timesBeen thanked: 140 times
There is definitely a bit the forbidden fruit, which can cause something of a rush for me too. However, I do have a kind of comfort level in women’s wear.
I would likely be in the 50/50 camp. Certainly it is a lot of work getting dressed to look like a passable woman, and I don’t mean to the point of going all out like a party or club outfit.
It would be great to just go out in a skirt and blouse when I don’t feel like my old blue jeans, instead of dressier men’s clothes. I’m in a small town, and lots of conservative folks here.
- March 21, 2019 at 9:16 am #162262Davida MaeParticipantRegistered On: January 14, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 110Has thanked: 32 timesBeen thanked: 77 times
- Hi Brittany; This exactly the topics I hope is shared. I’m a Closet Gurl so I have no outside of CDH to discuss these simple things. I must admit I get a sexual rush from dressing but as a Closet Gurl I am clawing at my Closet door. I don’t want to transition but I would like the freedom and option to wear my skirt and heels when my Gurl wants to step out. I haven’t tried makeup yet but I would like to try some Rose Pink Lipstick and some pink mist nail polish and some mascara without everyone losing their minds and destroying my life. I’m an older person… who is better and more appropriate to wear a wig then somebody with male pattern baldness ? I like being male but sometimes I just want to be the Gurl
- March 22, 2019 at 12:35 am #162437Val’sheril StarsongParticipantRegistered On: March 3, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 203Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 173 times
“Clawing at my closet door”… I may unabashedly steal this phrase, Davida.
Also, try the makeup, it really makes a world of difference. Yes, you’ll spend your time in the clown/raccoon phase but it’s a learning curve like any other art form. If nothing else find a girl (genetic or otherwise) you trust and ask her to make you over. And if you’re paranoid like me, Amazon is your friend… I have an account just for Val and get packages delivered to a locker for pickup; no one I live with has any risk of intercepting my gurl things.
- March 22, 2019 at 2:04 pm #162598
- March 21, 2019 at 7:05 am #162230Dame Veronica GraunwolfParticipantRegistered On: May 8, 2017Topics: 44Replies: 1746Has thanked: 1467 timesBeen thanked: 1312 times
Does anybody wonder why “Walmart People” dress so wacky and wierd, yet nobody is picking on them??!!. Why pester us…..we look infinitly better than WP could. I have been in several Walmarts in Canada and only see the odd 1 or 2 and they are not nearly as bad as the internet lets on to be.
- March 21, 2019 at 9:31 am #162265LillyParticipantRegistered On: December 12, 2018Topics: 4Replies: 206Has thanked: 285 timesBeen thanked: 225 times
Not to be a contrarian but as I understand it, “People of Walmart” are their own brand of comedy and they kinda get picked on a lot/ butt of many jokes sooo…..
I believe I would likely continue to dress. Perhaps 50% of the time in dresses and the remainder split between masculine/feminine jeans, leggings, so on.
Brittany, I could not agree more! I work as a general contractor so days where I’m in the office taking care of contracts/ paperwork I’d love to wear leggings and a cute dress, however construction sites demand a certain and specific kind of demeanor so I would advise anyone to look like a tough-son-of-a-gun if you want to keep a good handle on schedule and budget with your subcontractors.
- March 21, 2019 at 4:01 am #162185Susan MillerParticipantRegistered On: January 26, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 58Has thanked: 144 timesBeen thanked: 74 times
I would love to be en femme all of the time. The main reason that I am a crossdresser is the enormous appeal of the clothing! I love all sorts of textures and looks, from rubber to leather to chiffon to satin to silk…. As many have said, women have great latitude in the clothing that they can wear; the variety seems endless. I would love to walk in my closet and see only feminine clothing.
- March 21, 2019 at 3:13 am #162182RoseParticipantRegistered On: December 18, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 12Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 21 times
Definitely yes from me too! In the last 12 months I have become more and more confident about being dressed at home at least. In particular I have purchased some outerwear made for tall women – perfect for me, I must say, and this has increased my confidence, so that I am willing to wear a blouse and women’s pants when venturing out of the house. So, if social norms changed (and they will need to shift quite a distance) then I would seriously think, say, about visiting clients in my work dressed, perhaps not completely as a woman but certainly in that direction.
- March 21, 2019 at 12:51 am #162168
- March 20, 2019 at 11:03 pm #162147Jacky BurnsideParticipantRegistered On: January 25, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 9Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 5 times
Yes, of course I would. An easy answer for me because when I am dressed, makeup on, and hair done, feeling like a woman is so perfectly natural! It is the way I am supposed to be. I do not plan to transition, but if I could say the magic word and become a woman, I would in a heartbeat!
Thank you, Brittany, for this question.
- March 20, 2019 at 10:11 pm #162130Camryn OccasionnelParticipantRegistered On: December 10, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 133Has thanked: 145 timesBeen thanked: 157 times
This is indeed a difficult question. I chose “Yes”, but a simple “yes” will not do.
First off, I know that in my lifetime, crossdressing will never be 100% acceptable; however, for the sake of argument, let’s say that we all woke up one day, and we CDers could suddenly venture out in public fully or partially dressed as female, and be “accepted” – even those among us that could never “pass” as a woman. I wouldn’t be subjected to the ridicule I now face; no one would hassle me or beat me up; I could shop in the ladies’ section and no one would bat an eye, no matter how much I look like a man in a dress.
It all sounds great!
However, speaking for myself, I would still continue dressing in private, continue my closeted life. I would still continue to admire women and everything about them, because I do so long to look like them. It’s one of the reasons I crossdress. Imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery, as they say.
For I am a crossdresser and will probably continue to be one until age takes its toll, accepted or not.
And if this were the case, 100% public acceptability, would there be a need for crossdresser-friendly venues? crossdresser meetup groups? conferences like Keystone, Esprit, Leeds? Would all SOs suddenly become not only accepting, but encouraging?
I would suppose the whole mission of Crossdresser Heaven might have to change. Much of it’s purpose is to serve a community that is almost 100% UN-accepted. If crossdressing were no longer taboo, would none of us be confused any longer?
So, let that time come, if it ever does. I’ll still continue to enjoy dressing privately. However, I must say, it would be nice to no longer fear a knock at the door; to order pizza delivery or take-out Chinese, and answer the door dressed; to lounge on my patio with no concern about what the neighbors might think; to invite a ladyfriend (GG) or even another gurl (CD) over to dinner while dressed for the evening.
So I did choose “yes,” but it’s just so…… complicated!
- March 20, 2019 at 7:02 pm #162066Gabriela RomaniAmbassadorRegistered On: October 7, 2018Topics: 28Replies: 363Has thanked: 238 timesBeen thanked: 634 times
Ah, as I suspected… I’m the only “no” vote so far. But hear me out…
Personally, it is not only about the clothes. It is about being able to present as a female and being accepted as one. So, if wearing dresses and skirts and heels was acceptable for men. But were cut for men, styled for men, etc, I would not be interested at all. I would continue trying to present as a woman. That’s also why I don’t agree with the argument of the double standard about how “women can wear men’s clothes and nobody says anything about it”
if that was really a goal for lots of men, you would have already got stores and manufacturers to start carrying men’s pantyhose and heels and dresses, etc. Just look at South Korea where feminine men are role models to many young boys.
- March 21, 2019 at 12:11 am #162160Laura LovettParticipantRegistered On: November 18, 2018Topics: 10Replies: 362Has thanked: 389 timesBeen thanked: 439 times
Gaby, I agree 100% with that caveat.
My SO bought me some lace panties designed for men.
I actually feel a little disgusted wearing them – really not sure where that emotion comes from.
The whole thing is that I like women’s clothing specifically, and, like you, admire women and would love to present as one.
However, I am also a man, with no real desire to change what nature has seen fit to give me, except to look after it nutritionally and physically.
And mentally, of course.
Wearing women’s clothing puts me in a special place in my mind that is soothing and healing, not to mention downright or maybe upleft positive and energised.
If it were accepted only on the terms that mean wear clothes only designed for men, I would not agree to those terms!
- March 21, 2019 at 3:07 am #162181stephanie plumbParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 30Replies: 200Has thanked: 192 timesBeen thanked: 266 times
I 100% agree with you. The thought of wearing girlie clothes designed specifically for men makes me shudder. As for men’s knickers – I couldn’t possibly wear them.
I have however occasionally worn mens trainers/wellies and a winter parka (albeit in a “feminine” colour – see my photo). I am just about ok with this on the grounds that it was for passing reasons.
x Stephanie P.
- March 22, 2019 at 12:44 am #162439Val’sheril StarsongParticipantRegistered On: March 3, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 203Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 173 times
Gonna jump on this bandwagon. If I want to wear clothes designed for men, I’ll just wear men’s clothes. It’s a hell of a lot easier and more comfortable.
Val’sheril is in many ways my Shadow/Anima in Jungian terms. She’s not content to just be wearing women’s clothes, she wants to be feminine, elegant, beautiful. Yes, in a physical sense it’s very much smoke and mirrors but to look in the mirror and see a woman… well, it makes her/me very happy, regardless of the sort of chicanery involved in getting to that point.
Thank you, Gabriela, for your insightful commentary.
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- March 20, 2019 at 4:44 pm #162049Jasmine AndrewsParticipantRegistered On: February 24, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 5Has thanked: 4 timesBeen thanked: 5 times
I would, although I don’t know that it would be every day. Of course, my job requires everyone to wear slacks and flat, black shoes with the provided uniform shirt, so on days I’m in the field it wouldn’t be much of a difference. But given how hot our office can be, the days I have office hours a skirt would be lovely.
- March 20, 2019 at 3:44 pm #162025
- March 20, 2019 at 3:21 pm #162018Imogen MannParticipantRegistered On: March 2, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 116Has thanked: 52 timesBeen thanked: 134 times
I would do it, and I would be able to do it all the time and 100% ‘better’ if it were the norm, because being fully relaxed in public, with no hint of caution or fear would lead to better posture, freer body movements, easier shopping wider scope for outfits, greater socialisation with other girls, and so a better understanding of fashion, and daily life as a female.
Are my immediate thoughts.
- March 20, 2019 at 3:15 pm #162013Jasmine FletcherParticipantRegistered On: September 7, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 226Has thanked: 115 timesBeen thanked: 273 times
I would do as I prefer it comfort-wise. As I’m “en femme” around 50% of the time now, I’ve gravitated towards clothing that is comfy, keeps me warm in Winter, cool in Summer and is practical to wear around the house while doing all those mundane tasks. I now find my male clothes are rather heavy and uncomfortable and seem to cling in the wrong places. And I need some tights under my male trousers at this time of year just to keep warm. It must be my age. 🙂
- March 20, 2019 at 3:31 pm #162021ParticipantRegistered On: November 18, 2018Topics: 10Replies: 362Has thanked: 389 timesBeen thanked: 439 times
Not your age, Jasmine – I used to wear tights under my trousers when in my early 20s. I had a gardening job.
The rest is spot on – I gave up male underwear a while ago. I’ve never found it comfortable, but previously felt very self conscious about wearing my preferred choice.
Now I don’t care. It’s nobody’s business but mine what I wear underneath it all. People interact with the surface they see.
An expensive suit, fresh ironed shirt and precision knotted tie tell people all they need to know. I watch the reactions!
This comes from my love of Theatre. The costume and makeup tranform the audience’s perceptions of you. You are the character you’re portraying.
Wearing lingerie keeps a bit of Laura with me every day, and it has a surprising benefit to my general mental and even physical health.
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