Happy Being Me – Crossdressing Without Transitioning Part 2 (3 Years Later)

Hello Friends, Members, and Guests!!!

It is March 22nd, 2018 the 3rd Birthday of the Support site of Crossdresser Heaven and WOW thing have changed. Changes for me and changes for the site. When Vanessa asked me to write the original part of this story, neither of us could have imagined where the site and I would be today. In September of 2015 when I wrote part one, I was out to only 4 people in the whole world, one being my wife. I would never meet, let alone have thought I would have lunch or dinner with, other CD/TG’s and the site may have had 750 members.

Well, we have come a long way since then. Last week in Baltimore, MD, USA, and London, UK from THIS site we had two gatherings in which members from 4 States and at least 5 Countries broke bread together. We have come a long way and are not at 750 members anymore. We have over time had over 24000 and went from a blog to the largest Crossdresser Support site in the world having touched 211 countries.

Personally, no longer do I have to hide in the shadows because I am different. I have had thousands of friends help me learn this. In addition to the 4 original people that knew Codille, now so do my kids, old friends of 30+ years, family I never thought I would have told, and many others now well over 50 if I would guess. Am I out to everyone, no, there are still people I haven’t let know that I want to but “fear” their reaction, others I could care less one way or the other.

When I wrote the original article, the site was still mostly just crossdressers.  Many were confused as to why they felt the way they did, just like myself at the time. Now I am glad this is still the largest support site for crossdressers and the site has openly expanded its membership across the Transgender scope. I though, still have no desire to transition, none. I am very happy being me a heterosexual male who happens to like to dress in women’s clothing when the urge hits me. I am also very happy to have managed Crossdresser Heaven or been a part of the Ambassadors almost since its rebirth March 22nd, 2015. This was the day Vanessa said I need to do more then came back and changed her blog of seven years into the support site it has become today.

I know who I truly am now, and so do others. I am happy being me! That is due to, the members, the Ambassadors, my friends, and Vanessa just saying Hello! So Happy 3rd Birthday Crossdresser Heaven, and to many more!!!


With Much Love and Thanks,


Codille Benton

Managing Ambassador Emeritus

And More Importantly Friend

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Codille Benton

I am a MTF Crossdresser for 30+ years. I came to CDH in April of 2015, Looking for Friends and Support just like everyone else, as I was looking to take my first big steps out the door. That seems so long ago thanks to the members of this site and their love. I am very active participant and I also the Manager of the site, which began as a blog by Vanessa Law. What I think Vanessa asking me to manage the sites means... I have been dressing for a while so I have a lot of things to offer others, I am organized and I REALLY like talking to people 🙂 If you haven’t read all my profile, I welcome you to please do so, it gives you a pretty good idea of who I am. Here is the link something that will tell you more about me. https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/crossdresser-without-transitioning/ There have been more than a few personal updates to this as well in the responses. A Sequel article is in the works as well as a lot has changed in two years, but here is the beginning. If the link doesn’t work check under the in the stories section at the top of your profile page, mine is the one with the Phoenix image, so just about all about me can be found in those two places. Also I am an open book and will answer almost any question posted to me. I welcome to a whole new world, that you can be you, no judging just friendship, helpful tips and lots support. As for the site, the ladies are amazing and friendly. Almost no question will not be answered (Just keep it tasteful), by someone who has been there where you are in some way. I have met some incredible ladies that just want someone else that is a crossdresser to talk to and be a friend. You will feel at home immediately. If you want to jump right in write your profile and let people your journey, if you want to stick your toe into the water first, go to the forums link, and go to the new members page, just say hi and then browse all the great insight these wonderful women have already put there. Just so you know all of the post are from people like you and me, not some expert, but women that all are looking for answers or just someone else to talk to. We also have a for the pride of your part of the world. We are a growing community so if you don’t see a group link listed for your specific country, link up with the next closest. Trust me the site is growing fast enough we will be adding more groups as soon as there are enough people you won’t be by yourself. So follow this link and find ladies in your area: https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/ As for me, I also have been asked to give guidance, again that whole I have been dressing a while thing, but I too am looking for some HELP as I certainly don’t have all the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything CD. So I want to say HI!!!!!! Thanks so much for accepting my friendship request and I look forward to talking with you soon!!! Hugs, Codille Benton Managing Ambassador and Friend

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Lara Crosscathy stevensPeggy Ann CulpepperCodille BentonCharee' or Char (Shar) Recent comment authors
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Lara Cross

Codile– How appropriate that your second article is adorned with an angel. You are one. I’m not getting mystical or transcendent with my thoughts, just telling you how fortunate I am to have encountered your two-part story. You came along at the right time for me and for my life. In fact, Crossdresser Heaven is likewise, my spot for refuge from the realities of my life and its demands. We all need some form of “mutualism” as we wander the paths of our lives, so we know we are not alone. You are a certainly a good “ambassador” for many… Read more »

cathy stevens

Loved your story, I agree. Just got back from Walmart dressed in short shorts, bra and a nice top. No one really noticed. I think I may go all the way with a wig, makeup, heels and see what happens. I love dressing up as Cathy, It makes me feel so good, embracing the woman in me.,

Peggy Ann Culpepper
Peggy Ann Culpepper

Thanks, i think that you are awesome and a Blessing to CDH.
It is so ironic that Your Article Above is accompanied with the picture of an Angel.
I recently came out of the closet after over 74 + years of Cdressing. Only one(1)
person has been 100% Supportive of My finally living and being ME, with the help of this Beautiful Angel that God has sent ME. I have truly been blessed with an ANGEL


Awe Codille, how grateful I Am for our friendship and connection; I Am grateful for CDH, I Am grateful to Vanessa and all of you here for taking the blog and growing the world awareness and support to this level and higher.

My eyes well up when I listen to this song omg…

Vanessa Law

Codille it has been such a blessing to know you, and in turn you’ve blessed the community with your light, love and vision. Your life and actions are an example for those still fearful, still unsure, of how to come out into the open, own your true self and shine!


Vanessa, simply…

Thank You
I Am Honored
What you have begun here from your heart place has touched and changed the lives of sooo many…

We haven’t chatted much but my heart and eyes are full as I think of what a massive difference you and everyone here has made just in my little life alone…
Words in amessage cannot nearly say what you could see in my eyes were I standing in front of you dear soul.

I wish you all the magic the universe can pore out for you and more …

Thank you,
Char xox

Deety DT
Deety DT

What more can I say? You have summed it up completely. Congratulations to everyone here as between us we have created nearly the perfect site for all crossdressers. thanks to Vanessa, Codille and the other early members for having the vision. Talking about appropriate music, and I know it comes from another tradition entirely. A song for a stripper in Burlesque, may seem entirely inappropriate until you realise that, that is what we are doing. Stripping away all the hang-ups and pretences we and Society have woven about us. But, I reckon, I am ready, “Let me entertain you”. We… Read more »

Gisela Claudine

Thanks Codille. I like your article and I love the song “This is me” since I watched the movie. It touched me. I belong proudly to CDH. Here I have found the love, friendship, support and respect of many sisters to whom I will always be grateful. I think most of you know I hate labels. I believe people is more important than the clothes we wear. The accesory comes and goes. The soul defines us. Happiness begins by accepting us a we are. Here I can express my feminity with all freedom. I can be myself and I can… Read more »

Hope Clark

Sweet Codille,

That song “This Is Me” is my mantra during this season of life. I listen to it and sing it all the time. In fact, that whole movie was extremely true and liberating for me. Thank you for your story and expression. You are a light and hope to those of us who might sometimes feel pressure to choose a gender, when it’s perfectly fine to be your own mix of both. In many ways, I feel like you are my future self writing this back to me. Thank you for being you!



Love the song! In a similar vein, the song “Let It Go” from Frozen also captures the freedom we each deserve to experience. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9fVajKuXb0 Thank you to Vanessa and Codille for welcoming this shy wallflower (no laughing now LOL) and helping me to accept who I am-even if I’m still figuring out who that is-and allowing me the incredible honor of trying to help others struggling with allowing their inner soul a chance to see the light of day and to share that soul with a world that is such a better place because of it! Countless thousands have had… Read more »

Tricia Lynn

Thanks, Codille for putting into words how many of us feel. I am also happy to remain who I am with no desire to transition. I do appreciate getting to know others here and finding that I am not alone, getting support from those I’ve gotten to know and just generally feeling much more positive about who I am just by visiting here. I am however entirely still in the closet as I live in a pretty conservative area and do fear those reactions. That is my personal burden for now, but for the most part I’ve bearing that fairly… Read more »

Sheryl Johnstone

Happy Birthday Cross Dresser Heaven, thanks to Vanessa for having the vision of what the site could do and thanks to Codille for bringing the potential of the site to fruition.
I have enormous pride in being part of the best CD/TG support site on the internet.