Happy Being Me – Crossdressing Without Transitioning

crossdressing without transitioning

Dear Readers,

I’m excited to introduce you to one of our lovely Ambassadors, Codille Benton. If you’ve been on the Crossdresesr Heaven forums recently you’ve no doubt seen her around and chatted with her. She touches on something I’ve heard many ask before, can you be happy crossdressing without transitioning, or is full transition inevitable?

She chose the image of a phoenix rising to represent her rebirth – a very fitting and beautiful representation of discovering your woman inside.

Codille is a shining star of Crossdresser Heaven, and this is her story.

Codille – Happy as a Crossdresser Without Transitioning

Hello World, I want to introduce myself so you know who I am, an insight into Codille. I am a MTF Crossdresser and I have gone through some major personality mental calibrations over the last year and instead of feeling conflicted between my male persona and Codille, they have really finally after thirty years merged/unified and become just ME. My name here is Codille and as some of you have read my profile or know me through chatting, I have been married to a wonderful, amazing, understanding and supportive woman for almost 21 years. I know I am blessed here as this is not the case for many crossdressers.

My wife has known both sides of me since right before I proposed 23 years ago. I have three great and precocious kids, all of whom are teens. My kids don’t know about Codille yet; as we, my wife and I, are working on dealing with how to tell and handle the extended family and friends’ dynamic of that before we tell the kids. The two youngest are going to have little to no issue, the eldest is a question mark.

What is wonderful as you probably understand, I a little over a year ago became whole when ME and Codille just became ME. I love my female persona of Codille but use it now more of a screen, protection for my family, and to put others at ease. Codille has been part of me for almost 32 years now so ME and Codille are now two sides of the same coin and interchangeable in my head depending on how I feel moment to moment. Unlike where some are before making the decision transition, I am truly a MTF crossdresser and heterosexual with no desire or feeling of the need to transition fully to a woman.

Also it being, no matter your sexual orientation you are, if you still feel like you are male, it is ok to crossdress and express who you are and it society that is going to need to catch up like it is slowly with the transgender community?

Friends and Crossdressing

I am fortunate to have a tight circle of friends including my wife that know I CD, all 5 are all women. I haven’t had the courage at the age of 45 to tell the guys yet, as I said I am working on that. One of my confidants is in the process of transitioning and talking with her, I can understand what she is feeling and comprehend but not empathize. Another in my circle is Bi-sexual and has gone from straight to lesbian to BI, needless to say she has gone through her own journey. So I have a wide spectrum of sexuality in my group of friends.

One of the reasons I think I can relate to such a variety of individuals is in that I have such a great blend of both the male and female psych, that I can grasp where they are coming from. My wife though not CD, or have any interest, has these traits as well, the blend of female and male psych. I believe this is why we are such kindred spirits, sort of like yin and yang. So I hope that was not TMI but gives you a little insight into one of your Ambassadors on Crossdresser Heaven and why I can do what I do, listen, be supportive and be a friend. That and 25 years in personnel management skills doesn’t hurt any, LOL.

I want you to know ladies that you have someone on your side that really feels both sides and is not conflicted, and that it is possible to have balance between your male and female side and you can feel complete and at peace with ALL of you. I look forward to chatting with you on the site. Feel free to message me and say “Hi”!!

Codille Benton

P.S. If you would like to be featured on Crossdresser Heaven, please submit your crossdressing success story. If you’ve already shared on the forums it’s okay to repurpose what you wrote. I’d also love to hear from ladies who are crossdressing without transitioning, and happy in both genders.

I also found another interesting article on how crossdressers who don’t transition fully still take partial steps to transition.

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Profile photo of Codille Benton

Codille Benton

I am a MTF Crossdresser for 30+ years. I am looking for some good friends and support as I try to take my first steps out the door.
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  1. Profile photo of Steph
    Steph 1 week ago

    A great and very helpful story Codille. Thank you.

  2. Profile photo of Elissa
    Elissa 3 weeks ago

    I just want to thank you for sharing your story. It is very insightful to me and I know it will help and encourage other to be who they are on the inside! I too still have issues with how and who to tell when it comes to friends and family. I for one am afraid of loosing long term relationships due to this. I am beginning to believe that if people haven’t been able to figure out I am different then maybe they never really paid attention to who I am. Then again maybe they did but choose to ignore it. I am almost to the point where I am about to say that if you cannot except me, all of me, for who I am then maybe we shouldn’t be friends anyway. I haven’t quite gotten there but am close.

    Hugs and best wishes on your continuing journey!

    • Profile photo of Codille Benton Author
      Codille Benton 2 weeks ago


      It took me a long long time to have this change. If you go to my profile, you will see since I wrote this a year and a half a go things have massively changed with my relationships in my life. With family, children and friends. Crossdresser Heaven has helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin. And like you I look at people and go if you didn’t nice I was different you weren’t paying attention. My wife calls me the wife of the couple, as I micromanage everything and have all the emotions and have passed those to my kids. On the Flip side I am the strong presence of the two of us, but neither of us are what you would call shy. She is the nurturer, and I am the hammer. but when the day is done you look at the 2 of us and I see myself 60% male/ 40% Female and she is 60% Female / 40% male when it comes to “typical” characteristics. I can list a ton of examples.

      At some point you hopefully will get to the point that you will go, these people are the ones that need and should now I am CD. These I don’t want them ever to know and the rest I don’t care one way or another and then start figuring out how to balance and make that all work. Not Easy. I have 2 people left I NEED to tell and I am scared to death. After that, the rest of the world doesn’t matter. Good luck on your journey and drop me a line. I would love to talk!!!


  3. Profile photo of Margie
    Margie 1 month ago

    That was so well written and says much about the person you are Codille. We share things like long term family, wife who knows and accepts and understanding our own person. I’ve thought and thought but I’m not sure transitioning, at my age, early 70’s, would be the right thing. I prefer femme but … oh well! I’m still content.

    • Profile photo of Codille Benton Author
      Codille Benton 1 month ago

      Thanks Margie and yes it looks like we do have quite a bit in common.

  4. Profile photo of Stefanie
    Stefanie 1 month ago

    That’s it! That’s what some of us are US
    heterosexual males that like the clothes the style the sexy ness
    We re just us
    And we re ok

    • Profile photo of Codille Benton Author
      Codille Benton 1 month ago

      Yes it is Stefanie, just one part of the giant Crossdressing bowl, but we all do it with style…… or at least try too!



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