Here at Crossdresser Heaven (CDH), we want to help you empower yourself by sharing your story. CDH exists in part to give a platform for people who have never really shared their story before and to be able to share it with a site-wide focus – whether on your profile page, in our Forums, or even just sharing bits and pieces in chat.
Empowering those who have (on one level or another) felt that they do not correspond completely with the gender they were assigned at birth, is a big part of why we are here on this site. We work to support and empower each other on our journey towards realizing the person we truly are. This goal has always been a focal point of why we exist,
The dilemma our team of editors often face when it comes to articles that tell a member’s origin story, is that we must walk a fine line between helping members tell their story, while also making them engaging to read. In this way, articles differ from forums. In forums, the goal is interaction, by sharing pieces of our life story, talking about our experiences, by revealing the latest addition to our closet, and hopefully by conversing with other members about it.
CDH does want to showcase your origin stories, and we really do not enjoy telling a member that their stories do not quite fulfill the essential elements for articles. When we advise a member that their piece would work better as a post in Forums, it is not meant as an insult or rejection. Everything has its place on CDH (well, everything within our rules and terms of service has a place on CDH), and your origin story has a place here. It just might not be in articles.
What we truly want in an article is something that stands out, a hook, an alternative viewpoint, or an exploration of something deeper than a serial description of events. We will work with you on better ways to tell your story and we might ask you to focus on something that we think merits more exploration in your article. What we want to do is help you tell your story in a way that will engage the reader and perhaps broaden their understanding of our similarities, but also our differences. Since the articles are often the first thing that a visitor will see, your story might connect with someone looking for people who understand.
We want you to think deep, to get real, and to genuinely explore why certain experiences impacted you. There is a tendency to tell one’s story as a laundry list of “this happened and then that happened.” This is a good way to journal about your story because it provides a foundation for deeper exploration. Journal the events in your life and from that you will find something about you that jumps out and would make a good foundation for an article.
For example, we once published an article from a member that was extremely fond of dangling earrings. She wrote about one afternoon, when she met with a client and forgot to take off her earrings. She wrote a very engaging story that was about nothing more than the dramatic build up of tension, as we wondered, “How will the client react?” In the end, after realizing she was wearing them, fearing that the client would laugh or ridicule her, it ended with a simple statement from the client about liking the earrings.
An experience like that can lead to an engaging story. For many, this story would seem like no big deal, but for our members, it was a anecdote about the anxiety and suspense that can arise from “forgetting to go completely drab” in a situation where you would not normally dress. It was an experience the author related as one that led to greater comfort in being herself.
One of the things I have noticed in my two years as an Ambassador on this site, being involved with articles much of that time, is that people are often afraid to stand out. We come to CDH seeking acceptance and a place of belonging. Often, the only people in our members’ life who accept and understand them are other members on this site. We are, for many, a lifeline on days when the rest of the world has turned them away for being who they are.
It is human nature to want to fit in and conform. Being accepted into a tribe has long been part of the human survival instinct. As a result, many people try to tell their story in a way they think will lead to acceptance. However, we want you to tell YOUR story, as you saw it, felt it, experienced it.
No member is the same as any other. No person is exactly the same as another. Our experiences help shape who we are, and exploring those experiences and being proud to be your own person is more important than conforming to anyone’s expectations of what a crossdresser or transgender person is supposed to be like.
We want your articles. We want the stories from your journey that were dramatic, life changing, or provided you with a moment of clarity. Articles aren’t really long enough to tell your whole life story. I recommend you journal privately the details of your life’s journey in respect to your gender identification and find the magic nuggets of gold that appear as you do so.
Help us to help you tell your story effectively and in a way that engages readers. I believe you can do it because I believe in you.
More Articles by The Author
- Origin Stories: How to Tell Yours on CDH
- We all evolve over time
- Losing Parts of Yourself
- The Only Reality You Understand is Your Own
- Refractions on Memorial Day