A good friend of mine from Crossdresser Heaven named Jennifer Ruby told me about a song that was inspirational to her. The song is Steve Azar’s  “I Don’t Have To Be Me (‘Til Monday)” released in 2001. The lyrics are:

I got me a brand new car waiting in the driveway
Shinin’ like a bright new star, I’ve be wishin’ on it every day
To take me away from here
So I called in to where I work, told a little white lie
No my back don’t really hurt, but that’s my alibi
My temporary ticket to anywhere but there
Call it an early weekend, call it goin’ off the deep in
Call it what you want, I made up my mind


I don’t have to be me ’til Monday
Friday, Saturday, Sunday
I ain’t gonna face reality
Three days without punching a time clock
Three nights of goin’ non-stop
No work and all play
I don’t have to be ’til Monday


I can do what I want to do, be who I want to be
I got no one to answer to, soon as I turn the key
A cash machine, gasoline and we’re outta here
Call it an early weekend, call it goin’ off the deep end
Baby, you and me, we can leave it all behind

Nature Day 3


Now those lyrics can be taken several different ways-but what Jenn told me (and I agree with her) is that the “me” that we “don’t have to be ‘til Monday” is the ME that the world expects us to be. For many in our community, this is the ‘socially acceptable/expected’ person that we present publicly due to our fear that if people saw our true selves, they might reject us or ridicule us. But like so many of us, the person we really are-the part of us that we hide- is only given free rein when we are on our own. We take off the outer shell-our armor if you will- and allow ourselves the freedom to express what many of us wish we could all the time if not for society’s approbation. This can take the form of the clothes we wear, the emotions we feel and express, or even the ability to love whoever we want. Anything that doesn’t meet the “norms” prescribed by self-appointed arbiters of what is “right’ or “natural”.


And that is where this site does a great service-allowing us a place to “be who we want to be” –in a loving supportive environment. There are those who get out of the house often and are unafraid of what others think; but there are also many who for various reasons may not now-or in some cases even EVER- be able to share their inner core with the world outside their home. I have seen many folks (including myself) who NEVER thought they would be able to overcome their fears, but gradually found the courage to do so, because of the kind words and encouragement found on both Crossdresser Heaven and Transgender Heaven. And even if that time never comes, just being able to talk to others who understand and to realize that you are NOT alone can make the difference between fulfillment and total abject despair and loneliness.


So, whether you are attending a conference, going to a Girls Night Out, reading and writing in the forums, or talking in the chat room—don’t let society tell you that you have to be the ‘me’ that they expect. Instead embrace the moments whenever you can and show the world just how special you are!



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skippy1965 Cynthia

The Original Cyn, or OC for short. Cynthia is from Richmond Virginia, she crossdresses every day (lucky gal!) and has a knack for tracking down niggling technical issues so we can fix them. She is also on a journey of self-examination to figure out where her feminine journey will lead her, and is always willing to talk with others about their feelings and questions or her own. Update January 2023- the above was written by Vanessa on my behalf back when I joined in 2015. So much has happened on my journey since then. From a shy CD who had hardly been outside as herself to being pretty much full time Cyn 24/7 now. I told work about me and started HRT last year. Everyone knows about me in my life now too. I've socially transitioned for the most part but not sure if I will do anything regarding legal name or any surgeries at all. It's taken mea long time to accept myself for who I am but the site has helped me reach that level of self-awareness. I say dating below but that's just the best status I can say. I have a friend who is very special to me that I HOPE will be more a life companion as time goes forward.

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karley delaware
Active Member
5 years ago

Hi Cynthia and Thank You for that very inspirational message. Since joining CDH and recently coming out to my therapist, my mind is finally clearing up and I feel the me I should be. My CD and PTSD from many other aspects of my life are finally settling down. I love that song too, and when Karley comes out to play, she is the cutest girl around!

Stephanie Kennedy
Active Member
4 years ago

Hi Cynthia. well said. Society has done a great job. They have defined what is male and what is female. These rules apply all over the world. Mostly the Free world. We fell in between. In the early 70’s. A cis woman described me as a It yes eye tee It. She could not come up with any other word. Transwoman sounds spiritual. There could be something there. This cis woman was not trying to be mean and I did not take it that way. She would help me do my hair. It was acceptable for young men to have… Read more »

Danielle Rostencowski
4 years ago

Very good. Very appropriate. Been away for a while. Denial phase… Wanted to sneak back in here. Thanks.

Khloe West
4 years ago

Well said and a nice commentary.

Maxine Doos
4 years ago

As usual Cyn, you’ve hit the nail on the head.
A wonderful article. Inspirational to all of us.
Hugs always,

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