Finally the long awaited (or at least long promised) follow up article to January’s Coming out to your Significant Other (SO)
As with that article, this is written from the perspective of a genetic female (GG) with a male to female (MTF) cross dressing partner. Whilst the first article was addressed to the cross-dresser, this one is addressed to the Significant Other.
Assuming that the issues raised therein can be resolved to a point where the couple decides to continue as a couple, the wife / girlfriend / spouse may be pleasantly surprised at some of the “side-effects” of her partner’s new found freedom to express “herself” more openly. One of the fears that is often stated is “Where did my husband go?”. The reality is… nowhere. They are still the same person you always knew, simply freed up from having to suppress a fair portion of themselves.
One of the first benefits to be felt may well be that you notice your CD partner takes a much greater interest in fashion, make up and appearance in general… Yours and their own. When going out for the evening and asking “How do I look?” no longer should you expect “Yeah, Great. Let’s go”. In fact you will be much more likely to receive an honest opinion so be prepared for the occasional “I think that other dress suits you better”, “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in those other shoes?” or “Don’t you think a dress is more appropriate than slacks tonight?”. It’s all good. Your partner is taking a much more active interest in your appearance and usually will take into consideration how you look together, as a couple. You will possibly notice that they are also taking more time with their own appearance. This is not to say that all men are slobs, but if you are a closet cross dresser, sometimes it is useful to be a bit cavalier with your appearance in drab mode to avoid raising any suspicions.
Another effect you may notice is that he is now more than happy to accompany you when shopping for clothes, make up and accessories. No longer should you expect “Ok, I’ll be in the auto /stereo section when you’re finished”. Again, you will probably be overwhelmed with advice on style, colour, fabric and what goes with what. Additionally, you are unlikely to get the impatient “Are we done yet?” Don’t be surprised if you are the one who is ready to leave first. Enjoy this time shared, shop for both of you and don’t be shy to offer advice on “her” outfits.
Having the freedom to be more openly in touch with the “Inner Woman” you may well notice in your partner an increased sensitivity, or at least a more obvious display of emotions that had previously been suppressed and perhaps an awakening of others . This can lead to all sorts of tangible benefits, not the least of which is an ability for you both to communicate on issues that previously may have been off the agenda or in the “too hard” basket. This is a great opportunity for you to ask those questions that still remain. You will find that the relief from not having to be “in the closet” means that “she” will be more than happy to answer and assuage any remaining misgiving you may have.
Then you may well find that you start going for manicures and pedicures together (this is probably my favourite part) and for other beauty treatments. Again, expect to be consulted on colour and be prepared to reciprocate. There is nothing better than sitting in the massage chairs and being pampered, together.
From this cross-dresser’s perspective, all the feminine things we like to do are better when shared… and even more so when shared with the one we love.
This is by no means a complete summary of all the benefits of embracing your partner’s cross dressing. It is merely the headlines. But there is one other important benefit that is perhaps less obvious and often overlooked. It is extremely unlikely that an accepteted and supported cross dresser will stray from the relationship. You need never fear “the other woman”. She lives with you both and she wants to be your best friend. She certainly doesn’t want to steal your man. If you find this hard to believe, just ask her.