What makes a Cross dresser?

Unlike most of the members here, I came late to crossdressing. As is well documented elsewhere on the site and many times in the chat room, I only started crossdressing in my early fifties. So what happened? Why did this happen “out of the blue”? The whole experience has caused me to ponder these and similar questions on numerous occasions and, whilst I have no definitive answers, I realize that perhaps this late onset was not as sudden or unexpected as it seemed. When I think back on my life so far, there are several subtle hints that individually mean nothing, but collectively perhaps suggest that there was more to me than met the eye.

I vaguely recall that when I was very young, (pre-school age) when getting ready to go somewhere, my grandmother would always lick her middle and index fingers before scrunching my hair into a “wave”. Almost without fail she would comment to my mother “With hair like this, he should have been a girl.” I never thought anything of it except that I had nice hair.

During my primary school years, I did all the usual boy things: played footy and cricket (neither all that well), marbles, cowboys & indians, Robin Hood, William Tell etc. I had a collection of Matchbox cars, the usual boy comics and a good collection of Biggles books. At the same time, I had no difficulty playing tea parties with my sisters and cousins (most of whom were girls). I never played dress ups and I’m sure I didn’t play with dolls by myself but occasionally joined them when that’s what they were doing. I also read The Magic Faraway Tree and many Secret Seven and Famous Five books.

Unleash Your Inner Woman

Apart from being one of only a few boy cousins in a sea of girls, I was also the oldest of the kids in our neighborhood. I used to take the younger kids under my wing so to speak and when we were playing organized games, I always made sure that no one was left out. At one stage the adults of the area used to refer to me as The Pied Piper. Whilst it would be incorrect to say that this empathy & nurturing behavior is absent in the masculine, they are characteristics more usually associated with the feminine. I never thought anything of it, it just seemed natural and the right thing to do.

I was never jealous of my sisters although, from my perspective at least, they had it easier than me. At the time I attributed this to expectations for the eldest son that was so common in the ’60s and the usual economic situation that exists in most families where life becomes less arduous as time goes on and the mortgage shrinks. However, I do now believe that overall, girls have it easier in the early years, at least from the point of view of more freedom to express themselves and often less expectation. Not that this is necessarily right, it’s just the way it is in most cases.

Into adolescence, I had long hair (didn’t everyone?), wore V-knee jeans, flairs or baggies & platform shoes with pastel colored or paisley body shirts. Hey, it was the 70s and I didn’t stand out at all. However, thinking back on it, I did pay probably more attention to my appearance than many of my mates.

Fast forward 40 years and I sit now fully waxed, with painted toenails, earrings, anklet & toe rings, wondering whether these early tendencies were perhaps indicators of something more that was successfully suppressed by prevailing social norms.

 

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Harietta
Lady

Sorry, but the tone of your post makes it sound like a femme part of ones’ identities is odd or exceptional. I don’t think so. If we are talking about pure crossdressing, meaning enjoying clothes socially assigned to the opposite sex then it absolutely is not. Fashion is a social construct. The advertising industry has made billions for companies building a giant, almost unassailable wall between what is male style and fashion and that of womens’. So men, currently at least, do not wear floral scents like rose. They don’t have long hair cascading in lush curls down their backs.… Read more »

Arman
Guest
Arman

I fully agree with you Harietta. There is no doubt about what you mentioned re – advertising industry. Lets take an example of women, these days wearing clothes or dress up that are traditionally mens’ – like pants, shirts, hair styles etc. From the other side of the coin, why men should feel bad or society should make a mockery if men wants to wear or wear girls clothes and dress up like a girl/women. We all men need to get to gather and revolutionize the for liberty of freedom to wear what pleases them. Not only that but, the… Read more »

Harietta
Lady

Hear ye, hear ye!
I submit that the current social fashion construct assigned to men is actually in conflict with our true natural tendencies.
I feel joy in either mode, but my happiness in a pretty floral sun dress with my hair french braided and my makeup upbeat and current…happy, happier…happiest
Talk amongst yourselves…

Serena Sorenson
Lady
Member

I am almost envious of all of you ( as terrible as it sounds) that the only dressing and expressing I can do has to hide under my male clothes. I can’t garner enough time or privacy to go full out. I do enjoy the feel of a see through bralette under my t shirt and how a thong feels pressed tight on my skin. You ladies are lucky

Kendra Carter
Guest
Kendra Carter

Hi Maxine and thanks for sharing your story! For myself it simply started as something of a curiosity. You know, how it would feel wearing women’s lingerie, what it would feel like next to my skin and all the other thoughts that go through our minds. Wow. I had no idea it would feel so good! My philosophy of life is to ‘live and let live’ and as long as no one is being hurt then why not. So let’s enjoy ourselves!

Char
Ambassador
Member

I am 56 this year; i am dressing now almost every where, public, on the job sites (construction), I am getting better n better every day at; “Living independently of the good opinion of others…” The more we show up girls, the less we will be different and the more we will be as “normal” on the street as anyone else not in a suit…That’s my vision…freedom to be…
Namaste’
Char xox

Arman
Guest
Arman

Char, namaste to you too. Great for you. You are doing what is good for you and feel for you. Nice work and I am pretty sure you must be feeling extremely good inside.
Many namaste to you with my hands together.
xoxo
Arman

Char
Ambassador
Member

Awe, Thank you Arman. I believe and teach, that we are only really responsible for one persons happiness and life; our own. The trick is creating our own joy with out violating the basic rights of others in the process.
Every day my soul and confidence expands a little further and I Am free to be me…without judgment, but rather with deep love and appreciation for my-Self 🙂

Namaste’ Dear Arman
there is only one of us. . .

Char xox

Arman
Guest
Arman

Bravo Paula. You have some guts. Do it all the time and don’t feel shy for a second.

Lilly
Guest
Lilly

I try to dress them as much as possible but I have a 15 year old kid in the house so it makes it a little difficult I can’t wait to have the house to myself when I can be what I want when I want how I want. I feel real confused because I’m not attracted to men but I love dressing like a woman I love women. It really confuses me because I don’t really know how to I think of myself for a label for it. In my own words and thoughts I would consider myself a… Read more »

JackieOhNo Raples
Lady
Member

I’m trying to think how George Carlin would think of
what I am thinking.
I am a red blooded American male who loves to see beautiful
ladies and often kidded I must be lesbian because I love women…
Recently I was looking at pictures of beautiful crossdressers,in pretty outfits and make up. I enjoyed looking at these pics as much as real females,I was getting turned on some what…..whether I was dressed as male or female I was fantasizing about kissing or making out or more …. I love thinking about this,maybe I’m bi
Luv JackieOhNo

Rozalyne Richards
Lady
Member

Hi girls I’m new to this site I’ve been a cross-dresser most of my married life I have been dressing up in secret when ever i get the chance it always makes me feel a better person after a dressing up session I’m not sure why.

Bianca Leerouge
Lady

Lilly I could not agree with u more. I see no desire in myself to fall into what people generally associate cross-dressing with being bi or gay.
I’ve only ever chased the company of other females but nothing makes me feel more beautiful in myself than being dressed up in my prettiest clothes to make the best impression I can on my lovely girlfriend.

Stef Smith
Duchess
Member

Me too
I m not gay
And I have no issues with the gay community
I like what I like when it comes to clothes
I like being the peacock so to speak
I m sensuous so I love soft fabrics
I love high heels and pretty toe nail polish
Tight jeans
Form fitting dresses
So!?
Thats my right if it makes me happy
Stef

Frances Flip
Baroness

Well I’am truely inspired I’am going to take a bath and dress up nice with my wig and makeup nails and all then take a drive and see where i end up thanx love francis

Bill Johnson
Guest
Bill Johnson

I totally agree with the feeling I get when wearing womans clothes.

Cristy Springfield
Lady

Max,

Your story sounds so much like mine it is scary! I guess a lot of us have this in common. Thanks for sharing!

Hugs!
Cristy

antoniorl2
Guest
antoniorl2

Fresh lodgings stage for throw:
http://eduardo.blogs.telrock.org

Kay Jameson
Lady
Member

Great Googly Moogly I feel like you just described my whole life. So many parallels.

Gemma Moore
Lady
Member

I recognise the person in your story so well.

Olivia Livin
Lady
Active Member

Maxine, I too can remember things in my younger life that may or may not have been indicators. I don’t dwell on it. Being femme makes us happy and at piece, lets be that.

Roxanne Lanyon
Lady
Member

I was an early cross dresser, but now am a late “girl”. Since my last divorce, a couple of years ago, I have been absorbed by my counter ego, Roxanne Lanyon. I love to be feminine, and even would be happy with a his/her significant, understanding other! Isn’t it interesting how life develops? I now would rather be in skirts, dresses, nylons and other sweet, feminine things! I would have never thought this five years ago!
Love, Your Girl,
Roxanne Lanyon

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