My Escape

Thank you April for sharing your innermost feelings ... It has helped me and I am sure it will touch other beautiful ladies who embrace CDH.
You have a special "gift with the pen". Thank you.......Leonara

Hey Pacific Princess! What a great article! That was indeed a magical week at Esprit-one which I will never forget and a trip I look forward to making again in 2018! Even though our journeys are somewhat different , I DO see Cyn as an escape in some ways too ‘( though for me it MAY be that it eventually becomes a more permanent escape than it is for you ! Though I am not yet certain of that yet). But in the meantime, i will enjoy the journey even without knowing the final destination and I certainly enjoy the company in that journey! Thanks for sharing this with all of us!
Cyn

April, thanks for sharing that with us. It's nicely written.
Being in touch with your feminine side to such an extent changes so much about how we perceive and interact with the world. Personally I feel that we become more thoughtful, sensitive, caring, loving and so much more. If only more men discovered that experience for themsleves, perhaps we would be living in a better world. The main thing for you is that you found April and it keeps your life in balance xxx

Hi April! Your is a beautiful story.....thank you so much for sharing with us.

Lady Veronica

April, you have so beautifully elucidated the feelings some of us have had.

Long before I accepted (and named) Jane, I found great calm in becoming her. I found an inner peace I didn't know could exist. Yes, it was offset by the shame I felt, especially the contradiction that what gave me peace and calm also incited shame. Then I married and was able to suppress my crossdressing for almost ten years before the pressures of life saw Jane return, with something of a vengeance.

A counsellor once told me that crossdressing is my 'safe place', somewhere I can go when I need a feeling of safety and comfort. I see now that Jane was my 'escape pod' These days, I have finally accepted that I am Jane. She is not just part of me, she is the manifestation of who I am because she allows me to accept the happiness I was so often denied or which I denied myself.

You've begun truly to embrace April and that will get easier. I allow myself to be 'Jane in my Mind' for those times when a pretty dress or nice jeans and a top are not options. April is who you are, and those around you are fortunate to have you in their lives. As a friend, I consider that very much the case.

Thanks April for such an open and lovely description of how it is for you. I hope that the rest of your life can soon be as peaceful as it is when April is around.
Masie xx

April,
The struggle to be complete is truly a challenge worth enduring. Your truth is yours to embrace and is certainly a release from the pressures of life that can drag us down. And the isolation from a loved one can certainly amplify that struggle. Your name is synonymous with a month where showers bring forth flowers. So just as showers come and go, so too can you be complete in knowing that it is part of the wonderful rhythm of life that brings beauty and joy to a world that can be so drab.
Cloé

Wow. And yes too.

Yes to that lifesaver within us. A guardian angel protecting our sanity when we let them hold our drab place in the world with their softness.

Thanks for sharing April.

Thank you April for a wonderful, well written and very personal essay about a subject I know many of us recognise. Also for me being Marianne often has provided an escape from overwhelming pressure and a way of recuperation after long days of intense work, especially since I was diagnosed with Parkinson's five years ago. But I've also come to realise that Marianne is who I truly am and while I am currently trying to find out how to deal with that she's gettin more and more visible in my daily life.

Thank you April for expressing your feelings. I have struggled with my femme side throughout my life. When I finally realized that this part of me was not going away I began to find peace. My keyword in my life is Balance. I love my family very much, but I love being Terri too. Finding that balance is difficult but it is possible.

Thanks for sharing April.
Wishing all the best for you hun.

Hugs,
Sammy

I wish for you all the happiness and peace the world has to offer, April. Thanks for sharing.
You express yourself beautifully.
Chrissie

April this article is very touching and well said to describe your inner feelings and love for April. To me it sounds as though you are of all knowing whats best for your sanity and well being. Hold onto that love and follow your heart, you can't go wrong when you do! Confucius once quoted "Be it day's weeks or years, when the pupil is ready the teacher appears." I think you are aware of who your teacher is, follow her path, your instincts and journey on, she is waiting for you.... I loved your article, you should be a writer April.

I have to confess and say my female persona also provides me with an escape from my own troubles. I was really touched by your nicely written post. I don't really have a name even if the chat group I was on, was kind and welcoming enough to suggest Alex as a name.

I'm going through much the same. I have purged myself before in the past and I'm just sad to say I'm nowhere near a better human than I am when I embrace crossdressing and my nylon fetish.

I write this, in a super cute high waist pencil skirt, a lovely lace top which is long sleeved, some really soft, silky, cute and sensual feeling tights from Heist and lovely flats with an adorable bow on the top.

The truly sad thing is, that I think female born women feel the same way we do and hence go on spa days out, shopping trips with their girl friends, and do all those really girly things like paint their nails. Its just socially common and acceptable for them to do such things whereas we're not in that era for men to do the same.

The worst thing you can do in such stressful times, is to neglect yourself and your needs. To become prideful and narrow minded. Its easier said than done but embrace April. Welcome her into your life and accept this side of you can't be destroyed. It wants nothing more than to softly bring love and affection in your life and shine a light on your surroundings of darkness.

Its okay to struggle, I do so myself. Today I didn't even see myself crossdressing and it just happened...I don't nearly do it as often as I could because I'm still ashamed but I hope one day...we will come together and accept that we don't hurt or bring harm to anyone, we don't harm ourselves with the habits of smoking or alcoholism (ironically CDing is the most cost effective and painless way of de-stressing). We just want to bring a sense of soft peace calmness into our lives. Do we, as primarily men, not deserve to feel attractive? To feel wanted? To feel pretty? To feel desirable and happy? To not feel good about ourselves?

Hell yeah we do!