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Walking Into The Light, Part 2

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(@nikkolle1)
Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago
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Be sure to read the beginning of Chris' journey.

Chris called me again, recently.  He just could not handle it anymore; he was ready.  "Come on over," I told him, "and let's see if I have any answers for you."  Hanging up with Chris, I called a good friend who works at a salon to see if he could work Chris in today.  My friend gave me a time and said that we would be there.  When Chris arrived, I met him at the door.  "Come in!  We are going somewhere, and forget the way I look."

We jumped into my car and off to the salon we went.  On the way, I shared what I had planned, and I asked Chris if he/she was really ready.  Chris said shakily, "Yes, I am."  At the salon, my friend gave Chris a full makeover, and even had the nail tech do her nails.  The makeup artist also did a great job at bringing out the face of a stunning looking young woman.  A new Chris, different from the one who had entered the salon walked out to the car with me and go in. She and I and I drove back to my house where he chose a wig from my collection -- nothing too outrageous, but a simple everyday-look wig.  Once dressed and completely transformed, Chris asked if I would go with him to see his wife and tell her everything.  I was shocked to say the least.

Like anyone would be, I was hesitant to say yes.  Recalling that I had agreed to do what I could to help Chris, I agreed.  Pulling up to his house, I noticed that Chris was shaking.  "My daughter isn't here right now," Chris informed me, "and I think it's best that she's not."  I completely agreed with Chris that it was probably of good judgement to do this without his daughter right now.   Slowly, we walked to the door and went inside.  A woman with the most surprised look ever greeted us and said, "Who are you and why did you just walk into my house?"  It was when Chris spoke up, she recognized him.  "What are you doing dressed like that and who the hell is this and why is she in my house?

Chris told his wife that they needed to talk, and they walked into the kitchen.  I stayed right where I was; I had a feeling that this was going to be chaotic.  I could hear them faintly from the living room when an angry voice yelled, "Get out of my house and take your faggot friend with you."  I had not planned to say anything, but when Chris' wife stomped into the room, I could not hold back.  In a nice calm way, I said, "Look you don't know me, but you're out of line."  In retrospect, I guess that she may have had the right to be in her own house, but I was really only thinking of Chris at the moment.  "Yes, I am gay," I stated, "Yes, I dress like I am everyday, and I'm proud to be the person I am."  Without awaiting a response, I explained, "This is the exact reason people continue to hide, lie, and be deceitful, unfaithful, and even suicidal."  Trying to salvage the situation a little I even tried to appeal to her human decency, "From what he has told me, it sounded like you would at least be decent to him and attempt to try and understand his position."  Chris' wife was not having any of it.  She yelled again, and told us to get out.  Thinking it prudent, Chris and I left without further word.

After meeting with his wife, Chris' fear came back strong.  I assured him that what he had done was in my opinion for the best.   If everything he had told me was his honest feelings, I explained further denial would only hurt all involved.  It may be a little rough in the beginning, but it gets better when one decides to come clean and move forward.  Given all that had happened, I thought that maybe going to the bar and introducing Chris to other like minded people would be the next best move.  Chris agreed.  Once there, I introduced Chris to some friends, and we had some drinks, chatted, and laughed.  It was a good time for Chris and a time to begin the healing process.  Chris was also able to learn that there are other like minded individuals out here.  It was important for Chris to see that there is  love, and not all hate.

That week, Chris became Nikki and seems to be calming down.  Today she called me to tell me thank you for about the fiftieth time.  We have set a time to get together later this week or next.   Perhaps, we will go get a latte, and then shopping which I believe will be the next big step for her.  It is a good feeling when you can help someone in such pain, and watch that person slowly develop before your eyes. She still has adversity before her but I am 100% confident she is going to be just fine.  You cannot go wrong when you help someone, and witness them walking into the light.

Nikki's journey continues here.

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(@skippy1965)
Famed Member     Richmond, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Jackie,
While we walk on slightly different paths, we share a common goal-to be true to ourselves and live our lives as our authentic selves. The journey is not always easy and at times requires a leap of faith to continue on, but as Teddy Roosevelt once said, it is better to be the one who tries and "who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if she fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Thanks for sharing your story and helping your friend become on the outside what she always felt on the inside!

Cyn

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Posts: 133
(@sensitive4)
Estimable Member     Mississauga, on, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Jackie,

Very brave of Nikki to see things Through. What she was going through is a heavy weight to carry around every day. Yes things will seem difficult at first. But probably the best decision in the long run. I recently came out to my oldest son that I am a cd. He accepted me completely. He said you are still my dad no matter what. And we have always had a good relationship. And he does not think any less of me. And he is glad that I told him. I told him because he still lives here at home with my wife and I. And I am some times very tired of hiding things. His last words to me were You are retired now and you should be you self relax and enjoy your life. Maybe after some time Chris's wife will see things differently. And see how much he has been suffering and will have good conversation about everything. Lets put out to universe that this happens.

Hugs,

Amanada

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Amanda you have a huge heart for people who don't have the love and support we all desire to have in our lives. I say it's awesome that you were able to tell your son the truth. The thing that is evident with the way your son handled the situation is that you have raised a special son in all the right ways, fantastic job and congratulations on coming out. Thank you for your comment, I wish the best to come for you.

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Amanda you have a huge heart for people who don't have the love and support we all desire to have in our lives. I say it's awesome that you were able to tell your son the truth. The thing that is evident with the way your son handled the situation is that you have raised a special son in all the right ways, fantastic job and congratulations on coming out. Thank you for your comment, I wish the best to come for you.

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Posts: 133
(@sensitive4)
Estimable Member     Mississauga, on, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Jackie,

Very brave of Nikki to see things Through. What she was going through is a heavy weight to carry around every day. Yes things will seem difficult at first. But probably the best decision in the long run. I recently came out to my oldest son that I am a cd. He accepted me completely. He said you are still my dad no matter what. And we have always had a good relationship. And he does not think any less of me. And he is glad that I told him. I told him because he still lives here at home with my wife and I. And I am some times very tired of hiding things. His last words to me were You are retired now and you should be you self relax and enjoy your life. Maybe after some time Chris's wife will see things differently. And see how much he has been suffering and will have good conversation about everything. Lets put out to universe that this happens.

Hugs,

Amanada

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(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

I too have a wife in the same boat I am so alone Nice of you to give help. Hug

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Hang in there Cindy it does get better, trust what you believe in, be the best you can be doing it and be gentle and patient with our loved one's so as we may always have lesser expectations of them and the struggles they may endure.

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Hang in there Cindy it does get better, trust what you believe in, be the best you can be doing it and be gentle and patient with our loved one's so as we may always have lesser expectations of them and the struggles they may endure.

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(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

I too have a wife in the same boat I am so alone Nice of you to give help. Hug

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(@april57)
Reputable Member     Camano Island, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Jackie - you are an amazing person dear. We should all be so fortunate to have a friend such as you. Nikki is facing a hard road ahead and it is wonderful that you are there for her.

April

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

April what can I possibly say to such kind words except thank you bunches hun, I sincerely mean that. I have total confidence she will be good soon and all will only get better as time ticks away. Bless you, stay strong and beautiful. By the way I love your new pic.

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

April what can I possibly say to such kind words except thank you bunches hun, I sincerely mean that. I have total confidence she will be good soon and all will only get better as time ticks away. Bless you, stay strong and beautiful. By the way I love your new pic.

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Posts: 252
Ambassador Editor
(@april57)
Reputable Member     Camano Island, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Jackie - you are an amazing person dear. We should all be so fortunate to have a friend such as you. Nikki is facing a hard road ahead and it is wonderful that you are there for her.

April

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(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

Jackie, you truly are a wonderful person. So caring about women like us. Imagine, if your sister hadnt helped you along on your feminine journey where all thes girls you have helped might be.

Thank you

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Hi Julie thank you for the kind words hun, heartfelt. Yes I was and still am fortunate for my sister's, a not completely understanding mother but one with allot of love to give me and numerous old friends and new that I have come to love along the way. Friends are like strawberries, the more you collect the bigger the pie. omg I hope that don't sound corny, It just came out as though I've been saying it all my life haha.

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Hi Julie thank you for the kind words hun, heartfelt. Yes I was and still am fortunate for my sister's, a not completely understanding mother but one with allot of love to give me and numerous old friends and new that I have come to love along the way. Friends are like strawberries, the more you collect the bigger the pie. omg I hope that don't sound corny, It just came out as though I've been saying it all my life haha.

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(@Cindy)
Joined: 7 years ago

New Member
Posts: 2

Jackie, my mom told me when i was a yong teen that i was gay and it was ok with her and she still luvd me. We didnt know much of tg ism back then. I was lucky she caught me my first two time really dressing at 12 and wasnt angry or accusatory. Just told me to put htings back where i found them. Lol

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Awesome mother!

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Awesome mother!

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(@Cindy)
Joined: 7 years ago

New Member
Posts: 2

Julie, you were lucky. When I was young and got caught dressing, I was beaten and taken to see a shrink.

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(@Cindy)
Joined: 7 years ago

New Member
Posts: 2

Julie, you were lucky. When I was young and got caught dressing, I was beaten and taken to see a shrink.

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(@Cindy)
Joined: 7 years ago

New Member
Posts: 2

Jackie, my mom told me when i was a yong teen that i was gay and it was ok with her and she still luvd me. We didnt know much of tg ism back then. I was lucky she caught me my first two time really dressing at 12 and wasnt angry or accusatory. Just told me to put htings back where i found them. Lol

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(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

Jackie, you truly are a wonderful person. So caring about women like us. Imagine, if your sister hadnt helped you along on your feminine journey where all thes girls you have helped might be.

Thank you

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Guest
(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

I haven't outed myself to family and friends. I just moved to a new location and don't know anybody here. I don't have a wig yet so i won't go out in a skirt or dress till i do. But i dress in jeans and shorts, wear lipstick, painted nails, and i always wear a bra. I have gone to stores, social security, post office, and haven't heard or had any negative comments. I feel great doing this. I wish i had started earlier in life. When i get my wig, i will go out in dresses and skirts. I am living my femme life 24/ 7. I love it..

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(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Awesome, stay committed Terry.

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Awesome, stay committed Terry.

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(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

I haven't outed myself to family and friends. I just moved to a new location and don't know anybody here. I don't have a wig yet so i won't go out in a skirt or dress till i do. But i dress in jeans and shorts, wear lipstick, painted nails, and i always wear a bra. I have gone to stores, social security, post office, and haven't heard or had any negative comments. I feel great doing this. I wish i had started earlier in life. When i get my wig, i will go out in dresses and skirts. I am living my femme life 24/ 7. I love it..

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Posts: 2
Guest
(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

Jackie, you have show true compassion at a time when it has been so badly needed.If only we all had a Jackie in our lives, things would be a lot easier for many of here.
A great story and thank you for sharing it with us
Sophie
xxx

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Thank you so much Sophie.

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Ambassador
(@nikkolle1)
Joined: 8 years ago

Honorable Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 501

Thank you so much Sophie.

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Guest
(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

Jackie, you have show true compassion at a time when it has been so badly needed.If only we all had a Jackie in our lives, things would be a lot easier for many of here.
A great story and thank you for sharing it with us
Sophie
xxx

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Guest
(@Cindy)
New Member
Joined: 7 years ago

Absolutely loved this story❤ thanks for sharing

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