In November last year, I wrote an article called ‘The Evolution of Lucy’, telling my story from the last few years. In it, I mentioned my first venture out as Lucy in December 2022. As a result of that, several girls asked me to write about the event, and so finally, here it is.
I did briefly make it out in October 2022 to a drive-thru Starbucks, but I didn’t class this as my first trip out as I’d not done what I set out to do, which was to go inside. I began to make plans for a “real” trip out. In the run-up to Christmas, I’d be on my own as my wife would be away collecting the mother-in-law for the holidays. This became my planned time to venture out.
I decided that before this date I needed to return to Starbucks, this time going inside to get used to being seen out before attempting anything more adventurous. Sure enough, I headed back there sometime in November, but when I arrived, I completely froze and went through the drive-thru again. I drove home on something of a downer.
As the December weekend approached, my confidence levels were plummeting. I had plans to park at a shopping area on Saturday afternoon and walk around, maybe going for a coffee. I wanted to repeat the process on Sunday somewhere else.
Would I or wouldn’t I though?
As my wife headed away on that appointed Saturday morning, I had tasks to do during the morning and planned to go out in the afternoon. Well, the afternoon came, and I found more and more tasks to do. It was almost 3 pm, and I realised I was leaving things to run a little late.
I decided to test the water by going to Starbucks again, (see if I had the confidence to go shopping on Sunday.) For the third time, I headed to Starbucks. As it was a December afternoon, it was turning dark by the time I arrived. I got out of the car, stood nervously for a moment or two, and then just went for it and walked in. To my delight, the place was fairly quiet. Two tables were occupied, and no one was at the counter.
With a slightly shaky voice, I ordered a latte and a muffin. The girl behind the counter was perfectly fine with me. As it was Starbucks, she asked my name for the coffee; for the first time ever, I gave my name as Lucy out loud.
At a table, I removed my coat and sat down. I was wearing a purple cord skirt and some matching woolly tights, (as I have quite hairy legs.) I became more confident as time went on. As people came in, it didn’t concern me. I had plans to go to a Next store where there were some shoes I’d been viewing online that were in stock.
I was usually happy picking women’s shoes and clothes from racks and buying them in drab, but had never taken the opportunity to try anything on. It was 4:30, Next was 20 minutes away and open until 5:30. Why not just go in and try them on? So that’s exactly what I did…
The store was in a busy retail park. It was dark outside by the time I arrived. I strode inside confidently and wandered around browsing the ladies’ items. When I’d previously done this in drab, I always felt a little odd, but this felt wonderful.
I eventually found the shoes and sat down to try them on. They were Mary Jane style shoes. I had to concentrate when fastening up the buckles, so I didn’t sit with my legs wide open. After all, I was a lady in a skirt!
Walking around a little, they seemed to fit, but the tights I wore were far thicker than the ones I would normally wear. This left me with a dilemma as to whether to buy them. I resolved to put them back and return the following day wearing sheer tights. I left the store empty-handed and drove home.
I couldn’t believe what I’d got up to! I’d “only” intended to go out for a coffee, but felt as if I’d done far more than that. When I arrived home, as it was dark, I just exited the car in full Lucy mode and went into the house. I changed, but stayed in Lucy mode all evening, and overnight.
The following day, I needed to be out all morning meeting some friends for a dog walk, and it was in boy mode until lunchtime. As a result, once again, it ended up being later than intended to get ready to go out.
This trip was to another town centre with a mostly outdoor shopping area. I wanted to get a gift card for someone for Christmas from a coffee chain called Café Nero.
It was quite a vile day with strong winds and rain. I wore trousers so I could wear sheer tights to try on the shoes. I’d had the foresight to buy Lucy an umbrella but decided that the strong winds would make it redundant, so I had to wear my normal waterproof on top.
I arrived at the open-air car park and set off into town. When I reached Café Nero and looked in through the window, I was horrified. It was extremely busy, and there was quite a queue at the counter. My confidence drained, and I made to walk away. I stopped, looked up at the rain, and thought, “What the Hell” and I walked in.
I made my way to the counter not making eye contact with anyone. The queue was particularly slow-moving, but eventually, it was my turn. I ordered coffee and then remembered the gift card. I asked, in what I hoped was a softer version of my usual voice, but they were sold out.
I chose a seat at the far end of the café, with my back to the wall, to see everyone. I took off my waterproof, put down my handbag, and sat down. While I drank my coffee, I noticed two ladies at a table in front of me. The younger one had her back to me, and the older one faced me. She glanced at me every so often. I’d meet her eye contact and she moved her gaze back to her companion. I was feeling quite confident again by now.
After a while, I looked at my watch, time to get to Next before they closed. The shopping area was quieter, and the echo of my fast-moving block heels was the only sound I heard as making my way back to the car park. I made it to Next with 15 minutes to spare. I strode straight to the shoes and tried them on again. Like Cinderella, they fit perfectly!
While I was walking around in them, a lady came around a corner close to me and looked directly at me. I felt like a rabbit caught in headlights. She just smiled, said Hi, and carried on. I was amazed, there wasn’t a hint of amusement in her face, it was just a very warm smile.
I’m pretty darned sure she made me. I’m also sure that she wouldn’t have smiled at me in that way if I’d been in boy mode. I figured I’d just been treated as a woman by another woman. It felt great!
Eventually, I took the shoes to the counter and paid. The young guy behind the counter was perfectly professional and even wished me a nice evening. Once again, I drove home feeling on top of the world.
So, ladies, it can be done. If the thought terrifies you, it’s quite normal.
As I write this, I haven’t been out for a few months, and the thought of doing it again still terrifies me, but I know for certain that I will.
Lucy x
I’m glad this thread has popped up again in ‘Unread Posts’ because I didn’t have time to reply when I first read it a few days ago. What an inspiring, encouraging story, thank you for sharing it with us. Given that so few of us here are in the earlier stages of our adult lives, I’m starting to think that the fear we have (or had) of being clocked and drawing unwanted attention, must be based on the world that we inhabited during our formative years. We learned how society worked, how we were expected to behave within it and… Read more »
@finallyfiona I know exactly what you mean Fiona. I had one very short walking trip out close to home on a dark night in my late teens back in the late 1970s. Thankfully I didn’t bump into anyone, although the guy at the corner shop who was closing up did a double take when he saw me tottering past his door 🙂 But I wouldn’t have dared to go ANYWHERE even remotely busy in those days, it just wasn’t safe at all. Times HAVE changed for the better, provided you’re sensible. And yes, doing more than intended seems to be… Read more »
Oh yes, times were different not only decades but just years ago. While some areas are still back in the 20th century many, especially the cities, have progressed and we are more free to express ourselves now than ever. Had I not acted “normal" way back in my youth I wouldn’t be here today, my bones lying on the floor of some long abandoned coal quarry. I’m not passable, but I have found that a smile, a big happy smile, is the best make-up of all, and people will be accepting. Happiness is contagious, and when we get out and… Read more »
@finallyfiona Yes Fiona, I am sure the world has moved a great deal in the last few decades. It reminds me of a story from the early 80’s: I was visiting Harrogate and sneaked out of the hotel one dark evening fully cross dressed but all hidden with the skirt scrunched up under my trousers and a coat covering my upper body. I drove to a secluded spot where I shed the trousers and coat, donned wig and lipstick and drove back into the centre, got out and went for a walk. I think this must have been one of… Read more »
What a wonderful story. I’m so happy for you to have that experience!
@annewestheit
Thank you Annie
I am always delighted to hear other girls stories about successful trips out in public. I have made a few myself in the last year and I can report that I was pretty nervous too but persevered. Attitudes in western society have changed for sure and with people just going about their own business a MTF dresser is not likely to get into trouble aside from maybe breaking a heel off in a grate. LOL. Not fun. I must admit it is a lot of fun to go out en femme by oneself but I also love going with a… Read more »
@briannaleah
Thanks BriannaLeah,
Overcoming the initial nerves seems to be the biggest hurdle.
I’ve only ever been out en femme alone, but do live in hope that I will manage to get out with others sooner or later.
And you quite right, walking alone after dark isn’t advisable, being out and about does feel relatively safe, but common sense is still needed.
Lucy -the key thing to remember is that after a while going out you will be unable to recall the experience in detail as going out has become routine. No more looking over your shoulder in fear.You will begin to initiate conversations with others-even in the ladies room. If they wrote a manual on going out this would be a summary of what it would say.
A beautiful story, a positive note to help overcome our fears. I’ve been going out for around 3 months now, first was only to friends homes, then an alternative type club where I now go regularly, and now tonight to a nice upscale restaurant downtown with a fully transitioned transsexual for dinner. And this is in the bible belt south. I have gone shopping to Walmart dressed in womens casual clothes, 3″ wedge heels, earrings since I have my ears pierced but no makeup. Maybe I’m just fortunate but I’ve never had a bad experience. Smile, just smile, a big… Read more »
@jenniferr
That’s lovely Jennifer, thank you
Hugs
Lucy
@Jennifer Friendly lovely post x
Hi. Just a follow up. I had mentioned that I and a friend were going to a nice, downtown, upscale restaurant. Since this was going to be my very first time OUT out, when I called to make the reservation I informed them that we were cross dressers, and if that would be an issue. I didn’t want any unexpected surprises, on either side. This is the bible belt south remember. I made the reservation for a Tuesday, thinking that would be a quiet day. I was quite surprised when I pulled in and the parking lot was packed. No… Read more »
@jenniferr
Once again Jennifer, that’s a lovely story.Thanks so much for sharing
Big HugsLucy
@jenniferr
I love this. Well done!
It’s always a pleasure to hear stories from other members of our community. I remember the first few times I went out in public, cross-dressed. It was soon after the horrific events in NY on 9-11. It was initially, not a pretty sight LOL. I am lucky in that I have a rather small build and very light facial hair. At 5′ 8″ I don’t really stand out when dressed. Now, twenty some odd years later I will go out almost anywhere ‘en femme’. I have even become a regular at a senior citizens luncheon in a small town nearby.… Read more »
@Mandi Smith Hi babe 10 to 20 mins wow!! Bet you look fabulous Misha x
@Lucy Bancroft I think when someone makes the decision to go out in public dressed, it’s an intense desire to have the femme experience. When I first went out, I drove around a lot and, looked for places to stop where I could get out of the car and walk around. When I would stop at a red light with cars next to me. my heart would begin to pound. I was so nervous. I wondered if I was being looked at. I just looked straight ahead. The car to my left could clearly see my breasts and pretty hair.… Read more »
@pattyphose
That’s wonderful Patty.
Once the door is pushed open, even slightly, there’s no closing it again!
That’s so true Lucy. For those like me it’s years of fantasies dreams and desires to have the femme experience. With all the fear, nervousness and anxiety that often occurs, you would have to be nuts to want to go though that over and over again to wait on the thrill and excitement and femme experience that often follows. Like another girl said to me once. Some enjoy bungee jumping, some enjoy parachuting, I enjoy crossdressing. That actually makes sense to me. The adrenaline rush is worth the nervousness.
@pattyphose
It certainly is an adrenaline rush.
I don’t get out that often, but every time an opportunity is on the horizon, the doubts begin to surface again. Will I or won’t I?
I’ve even been back in drab to a couple of the places I’ve been as Lucy and while I’ve been there I’ve thought to myself “How the heck did I manage to do that?”
I’ve chickened out so many times. I’m sure for one time I had the nerve and did it, I chickened out 20 times.
Hi Patty, That rush seems to be something we all experience as we step out. That rush of facing and overcoming our fear. My goal is to get past that. Getting out more definitely increases the confidence levels, going to new places still gives me some anxiety issues but now, when returning to the same place, I don’t even think about it. This is the place I want to reach, that place where I no longer have that fear, anxiety, or thrill if you want, about going out ANYWHERE, at any time. Women don’t, they don’t think about who or… Read more »
@Jennifer Friendly I first began going out when I was 17. I was very nervous most of the time but I had some incredibly exciting and thrilling adventures.
I never got comfortable with going out in public. There was always fear and nervousness but pretty much always excitement and thrill follows.
But I also think if I got totally comfortable with going out, there would be no thrill and excitement that follows. If that became the case, I might not want to dress and go out anymore.
@pattyphose
I’ve seen that very sentiment on here a few times to be honest.
I get what you mean. I’m not sure I’ll ever get out and about often enough for it to become totally comfortable
There was times when I was so nervous, I would chicken out and not be able to even get out of the car. But I kept going back to what I wanted to do. Most times I was able to do it and relished the thrill and excitement I got from it.
@pattyphose I can understand what you’re saying, we dress for different purposes. For you it’s the thrill, like previously mentioned bungee jumping. It’s not really about becoming a woman, the dressing is like the parachute, a vehicle to achieve a thrill. I’ve had enough scares in my life, wars and accidents and cancers, spent too much time overcoming fears, had enough thrills to last me for another lifetime, now I just want to be the woman I’ve always known I’ve been inside, like normal, that woman that the fear kept a prisoner for my entire life. She’s… Read more »
it was suggested to me that I like to dress the way girls I want to be intimate with dress, or I’m creating a fantasy girl that I can try to become. I think all of that is true. I can get excited seeing that fantasy a girl in a mirror, knowing she is me.That is an amazing feeling and experience. If I go out in a short dress, pantyhose and heels, I know I’m going to get looks and attention. The fear of getting unwanted attention or unwanted suitors, I think is what gives me the fear and anxiety… Read more »
Lucy what a wonderful story. Sounds like you had a great time.
❤️ Tonya
@tonya
Thanks Tonya, I did indeed.
I’ve been out since, but not got up to quite as much as those days, at least not yet!
Thank you for sharing your story.It should be great encouragement for other girls here. It certainly is a great experience to be out in girl mode and so much more thrilling than just dressing around the house and yard. It is so addictive too so thanks again for sharing this with the community here
@debbiedd
You’re very welcome Deborah, and thanks for reading
Thanks for sharing this Lucy! Wonderful story – especially the part about “the smile”… not sure what it is but as strong as my desire to “pass” is; being seen as a cross dresser especially in the situation you so vividly described feels good too! Yes, I like to wear women’s clothes!!! Thank you!!
Kim xoxo
@kimberlyanne
You’re very welcome Kim. I glad you enjoyed reading it.
Hugs
Lucy xx