Jo’s Story

Girl in swimming pool

My life began in 1970 at 13 years old.

During that summer I was invited by a neighbor girl to go to their farm with her and her sisters. When we got there, there was a beautiful lake and dock. The girls quickly changed into their bikinis. Brenda, to whom I owe my amazing experience, noticed I had no swim trunks so she handed me a pair of her bikini bottoms to wear. As I remember, I didn’t hesitate to slip them on and join them to swim. I can remember Brenda grinning at me as we all enjoyed the day in the sun. She was 16 at that time.

Every weekend I would be invited to swim at the last moment and it seemed I never had my trunks. Every week Brenda would have a pair of bikini bottoms just for me. It was a great summer and I never felt strange, awkward or self continuous wearing the opposite gender’s clothing. It always puzzled me as to why girls had such colorful clothing compared to what I was wearing.

I would go over and visit her, hang out in her bedroom, she would change and do her girl stuff in front of me like it was nothing. Soon it became just so normal to me. I know now she was struggling with her sexual identity. She never dated any boys even though she was a beautiful young woman. She would ask me to get what she was going to wear out of the closet or drawers and help her. She asked me what I thought about her outfits, how she looked.

One day she asked me if I liked her clothes, panties, bra’s etc. compared to what I wore. I can remember my heart pounding when she said that “Anything I’ve got is yours to try on if you want but I want to try your clothes on too”. I was shaking inside, excited but scared to death. Wanting to but unsure about was it right to do. I too was in my adolescence, puberty and just beginning to explore my sexuality.

I don’t exactly remember how long it was ’til I finally took Brenda up on her suggestion. I only know I was so curious, eager and scared. It happened one evening in her room we were hanging out and she brought it up again, I said ok and she went and got a pair of pink panties and a little matching top with straps, handed them to me, grinned. I was so embarrassed, she told me if I didn’t like how it made me feel, that it was perfectly ok. We were just having some fun. I went into her bathroom took my clothes off and tossed them out the door for her. I can still remember slipping the panties and top on, how great it made me feel inside. How I enjoyed the way I looked. It felt wonderful! I stepped out into the bedroom to find Brenda laying on the bed in my tee shirt and underwear. We both just smiled and began laughing.

I struggled and searched for the real me for several years. Swam in both ponds. Brenda went on to college, found her lifelong partner, struggled with society’s ignorance. She died at age 44 from breast cancer. I will always hold dear to me that summer, those days we spent together and that gift she gave me of accepting myself for whom I am. Not what society, someone or somebody dictated me to be….

Brenda… Pink is still my favorite color forever..

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  1. Profile photo of Elissa
    Elissa 1 month ago

    Beautiful memory to cherish Bridget. Thank you for sharing it!

  2. Profile photo of Jessica
    Jessica 1 month ago

    Thank you for sharing. This is a beautiful story.

  3. Profile photo of Zoée
    Zoée 2 months ago

    Thanks for having shared that story… It’s a wonderful story, even for the abrupt ending of your friend… I too have some friends that died too soon from cancer or even suicide and despise those abrupt endings, I can’t feel sad thinking about them, just happy to have known them and cherish the fabulous experience I have shared with them.
    I feel puzzled at times but always keep the best of my time shared with these amazing people.

  4. Profile photo of romi chambers
    romi chambers 4 months ago

    Very touching of friendship throughout the outer differences the same love and tenderness to each a height and guided hands ! Lovely moments in life!

  5. Caroline 7 months ago

    What a lovely, unique story. It brought tears to my eyes. Brenda must have been heaven sent to Bridget. I have also been a woman inside for as long if not more, with two grown-up daughters and an understanding wife, but in my childhood and teenage I was always seeking someone like Brenda. There were many girls in our street who knew of my passion for their clothes, make-up, shoes, and general womanly life, but they probably thought that by just accepting me as another “girl” among them was enough. It wasn’t alas….

  6. Sebani 7 months ago

    Sorry for Brenda. Envy Bridget. Thanx for the moving story.

  7. Peta 7 months ago

    Hello Bridget you have me spellbound by that lovely story I think I will go to sleep tonight thinking about it ,don’t know weather I will ever forget it Peta.

  8. Profile photo of Jenny1323
    Jenny1323 7 months ago

    Great story sorry you lost her so young

  9. Profile photo of Geri      Gerald Dean Nolan
    Geri Gerald Dean Nolan 7 months ago

    Bridget, thank you for sharing this. It is beautiful. I am new at this and much older. However I am more at peace with myself and all of humanity than ever before in my life. Geri

  10. Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)
    skippy1965(Cynthia) 7 months ago

    Bridget-I echo what the others have said!. Memories are yours forever and we are blessed that you chose to share yours with us!. Congrats on having an understanding wife an on having two wonderful daughters!

    Cyn

  11. Profile photo of Stephanie
    Stephanie 7 months ago

    Bridget please accept my sincere apology for my previous comment. I do not understand how the comment appeared. Thank you very, very, very much for sharing your very special story! Please accept my deepest sympathy about Brenda’s death.

    • Profile photo of Bridget Author
      Bridget 7 months ago

      Awh.. No problem Love.. Thanks

  12. Profile photo of Stephanie
    Stephanie 7 months ago

    Bridget thank you very, very, very much for sharing your very special story with us! Please accept my deepest sympathy about Brenda’s death!

  13. Profile photo of Leonara
    Leonara 7 months ago

    Bridget,
    What a lovely story but what is important was a very special memory for you and your sharing it with your friends here at CDH.
    Thank you…Leonara

  14. Profile photo of Jesse Nicole(Smokey)
    Jesse Nicole(Smokey) 7 months ago

    Wonderful memories are to be treasured! Beautiful story Bridget!

  15. Profile photo of April (Pacific Princess)

    A very sweet and moving story. Acceptance truly is a wonderful gift.

    April

  16. Profile photo of JaneS
    JaneS 7 months ago

    A lovely story Bridget. Innocent yet moving.

    I think Brenda recognised in you a kindred spirit in many ways. She obviously felt no fear of your reactions to her suggestions.

    Your awakening is a beautiful memory. May the pink never fade.

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