Hello ladies, my name is Linda.

First of all, I would like to show my appreciation to each and every one of you on CDH for all of your time and experiences you have graciously shared here with us.  I read quite a bit on all the subjects on CDH, and I wish I could say I participate more frequently, but I really haven’t.  I will try in the future to work on my communications here on CDH.

My situation is rare but not uncommon.  I am a middle aged heterosexual male crossdresser, who has been married for 16 years.

My wife is a very open and understanding woman, after all her son is openly gay and early on while dating, she opened up to me about a short lesbian relationship she had years before we met.

My wife should have been clued in a few years into our marriage about my crossdressing, because I wore panties on a very regular basis.   I’m not sure if she knew or just ignored it.  Yes, you are very correct.  I should have had “The Talk” before we tied the knot. One day early on she called me and asked who’s panties were in my laundry.  I confessed that they were mine.  Nothing else was said.  I continued to dress in private and collect my feminine wardrobe.  Throughout my years I have purged and yet regained my collection again.  To my knowledge she has never found my collection.

Fast forward to three years ago, my wife went on a girl’s vacation with her family.  I had finally found a company that makes a women size 17 classic 4-inch-high heel and I had to have a pair of these heels.

I spent much of the week alone in my home dressing and enjoying some “Linda” time.  Well it was time for her to come home and I had to clean up.  When I first opened the heels I had placed the box next to the living room garbage can and neglected to dispose of it.  She came home and while I was helping everyone unpack from our van and reload their cars, my wife found the box and that started a very stressful and terrifying night.  I wasn’t sure if we were going to separate.  Well we didn’t, thank God.

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We had a very long conversation that night, and many of the same questions all of you have had or will have to answer one day to an inquisitive wife or SO who is not aware of your thrill of cross dressing. She came to a conclusion; she doesn’t want to see me dressed or even help with my dressing.  At first I was so worried about so many things like, who is going to help me with shopping, makeup, hair styling and walking in heels.  Then I realized, it’s not all about me.

I married her for who she is and she married me for who she thought I was, which was a large 6’6″ tall, 350-pound dude.  Her protector and her rock.

I really started to think about, what if things were reversed and the sweet, sexy, lovely, girly, feminine wife I married wanted to start taking testosterone and started cross dressing with men’s clothing.  In a perfect world I would stay by her side and help her with whatever she/he needed.  This would be just as difficult a situation as she has to cope with now with me.

There are so many of us who have heard of the unicorn and in a perfect world we could have it.  Ladies I really wish all of you the best of luck in search of the unicorn, but don’t be blinded in your search of the woman that will except you and be your girlfriend and your wife.

In my life, I have my best friend who is the love of my life and someone I would lay down and die for.  So what if she doesn’t want to be included in the cross dressing part of my life.  We all have certain things in our life that our wives aren’t involved in such as sports, cars, movies, in-laws and more.

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What I’m trying to enlighten you about is the fact it’s not all about you.  If she knows and doesn’t want to know then don’t tell her.  Take a separate vacation and go to a girls social and get all dressed up. Wait until she goes somewhere to dress at home.

For all of the other girls who their wives or SO’s don’t know, that’s a whole other story.  Hope my story helps you ladies a little bit.

Thank you girls for reading my article and now I ask you to either comment on my writings in the article or offer up and answer to one or more of my questions below:

  • Have you mistakingly left an article or two behind after a cross dressing session later to find your wife holding the femme articles and asking some embarrassing hard to answer questions about the items?
  • How did you answer those questions and what was your wife’s reaction and resulting actions if it was the first time she learned of your thrill of cross dressing?
  • Why is it, do you think, that so many wives don’t understand our thrill of cross dressing?

Love you girls and I’m so looking forward to your comments to my article or answers to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!,

Sincerely, Linda

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Linda Carter

I am a heterosexual happily married monogamous MTF CD. My name is Linda Carter (Yes after my childhood heroine Wonder Women) I'm in late 40's and enjoy all things feminine. My home is on the East side of Cincinnati Ohio, unfortunately I cannot tell you of any great places to go. My silhouette is one that is so very obvious I cannot retain my male public persona from anyone who would meet Linda in public. Most girls can pass and not be recognized do to their skills with a brush, powder and the average build. My stature is one of an Amazonian build, which is 6'6" flat footed without 4" heels. That alone draws unwanted attention but on top of that I have a plus size frame of 24 with a size 17 womens high heel. There would be no mistaking Linda from my male persana. I can write all day, but I will keep the rest a bit of a mystery. If you find me interesting enough, please feel free to message me. I really would like to have girlfriends that are interested in a strictly platonic friendship.

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Jamie Taal
Active Member
Jamie Taal (@jamietaal)
15 days ago

Thank you for your wonderful story. I can relate wholeheartedly as I too am married for 24 years to my best friend and I would lay down my life for her. She knows of my CD but wants no active participation. Don’t ask don’t tell, i guess. I could not live my life without her and will respect whatever wishes she wants.

Jamie Taal
Active Member
Jamie Taal (@jamietaal)
15 days ago
Reply to  Jamie Taal

BTW, Linda Carter lives in the next town over from me and occasionally there is a sighting. She is still as beautiful and as gracefull as she was as ever.

Desi
Princess
Member
Desi (@desaray)
13 days ago
Reply to  Linda Carter

I think you nailed it very well written, but it hits home and i love it. xoxoxoxo Desi 🙂

Bobbi Scott
Member
Bobbi Scott (@bobbi1408)
15 days ago

Very thoughtful story, thank you. I couldn’t agree more with your opinions. My SO of 12 years knows of my desires and regularly will go visit with her sister an hour away for several days at a time for the express purpose of allowing me some Bobbi time. Do I wish she were more willing to participate in my dressing, of course I do. But the freedom she does grant me is a blessing and I love her all the more for that. She doesn’t want to see me dressed and I totally get it. I truly understand.

Rozalyne Richards
Active Member
Rozalyne Richards (@leahroy)
15 days ago

Hi Linda thanks for sharing your story with us, I’ve been dressing on and off for most of my life since i was about 8 or 9 years old and now I’m in my late 60’s, I’ve been married for 48 years and I’ve never told her about my crossdressing life i don’t think i will now, I always dress when she is out or away on vacation and i always double check to see that I’ve not left anything out after my crossdressing session, I don’t think I’ve got the courage to actually tell my wife about Rozalyne and… Read more »

Desi
Princess
Member
Desi (@desaray)
14 days ago

This so beautiful, you have an amazing soul! I never married, I have found out People who love us are more often then not except it, or tolerate it like a blind eye. I’ve also learned be upfront from the go. I’ve been blessed only a few new seen it and said not for me. But I could. Thing is I want then part of it, as excited about as me. I’m already that gf to them. And the guy. But that unicorns out there and you may have it and not even know it. I can say one thing… Read more »

Stacey Danvers
Active Member
Stacey Danvers (@sd4u2020)
14 days ago

Hey Linda thank you for your article which I loved and I can relate to ‘The Talk’ as I had to let my alter self discuss it with his wife after she found out about how I was let out using another website to showcase my quite sexy poses and many different outfits, he had to explain the reason he let me out in secret whilst she was here with him in the UK. It was a difficult chat to have if it weren’t for me helping him to sweet talk his way back into her good books, but the… Read more »

Kim Austin
Active Member
Kim Austin (@shonagh)
14 days ago
Reply to  Stacey Danvers

Hi Stacey,
You’re breaking my heart girl. Maybe one day. Your decision is admirable though. I lost my last relationship over dressing. I kind of wish I’d given the relationship more of a go before mentioning dressing but I’d given myself that ultimatum “to be honest” and the fog was on me. I really do feel for the SOs. I’d be gone.
XX
Kim.

Stacey Danvers
Active Member
Stacey Danvers (@sd4u2020)
13 days ago
Reply to  Linda Carter

Awwww thanks Linda for getting back to me and thank you for your words of encouragement, that day will happen for me, I’m just keeping low until that day comes, keeping harmony in check and the love flowing, hugs you so tightly mwah!

Love Stacey xx

Ashley Konners
Active Member
Ashley Konners (@cdashley)
14 days ago

Thanks so much for that amazing story! I felt like I was reading about myself at times. I came out to my wife about 5/6 years ago , married 25 now and she has been great but of course with some concerns (Which I can understand). I do dress in front of her and she tells me to do what makes me happy but she still wants the man she married to be around as well. She did know of my love for pantyhose very early our relationship but never would have picked me as a crossdresser. As far as… Read more »

Erica Fox
Erica Fox (@foxegirl)
14 days ago

I need to re-read this because it’s very similar to my situation. I have been married for 16 years now. She is my second wife. My first wife was more aware of my cross dressing and seemed “into it”. My current wife, is not as aware and doesn’t seem “into it”. I left a pair of socks in the dryer once. Really cute ankle high socks with pink bows. My wife found them and looked at me funny and asked me if I danced around the house in them… Something else about me: I am a very self-conscious dancer. And… Read more »

Amy Myers
Baroness
Trusted Member
Amy Myers (@amylove2dress)
14 days ago

Thank you Linda for your story. Unfortunately so many wives cannot understand this need we all here share. But since none of us seem to understand it that well either, how can we possibly explain it to someone else? I suppose it destroys the image of masculinity they have about their SO. Yes, I have also thought about if my lovely wife decided she wanted to be very butch looking and deny her femininity, and it would be tough to accept, I think. I’m in a bit of a minority group here, as my wife knows and fully accepts my… Read more »

Mikey Johnson
Member
Mikey Johnson (@mikeyj)
14 days ago

Wow Linda. Excellent, well-written and something that we all need to hear I believe. I recently arrived at a similar conclusion, but for different reasons. I had taken my CD efforts pretty far – shaved legs, most other hair removed. Trimmed arm hair and shaved hands and fingers. Trimmed but not shaped eyebrows. Considerable moisturizing going on. Wardrobe that was becoming hard to conceal, and spending an inordinate amount of time dressing whenever she wasn’t around. And as we are planning to sell the house, I needed to get my wardrobe (and makeup stash) relocated. In short, things were coming… Read more »

Mikey Johnson
Member
Mikey Johnson (@mikeyj)
13 days ago
Reply to  Linda Carter

Thanks Linda. And I apologize if I implied an intent you did not mean to convey. I also did not intend to imply that any of my thinking would be applicable to anyone else. These are my priorities, and my decisions. And it’s my situation. None of it is necessarily applicable to anyone else. I just wanted to thank you for a very clear statement of your views, which just seemed to help me clarify mine.

Again, thanks! And all the best,

Mikey

stephanie plumb
Baroness
Active Member
stephanie plumb (@st999)
14 days ago

My story is virtually identical to yours. She knows but doesn’t want to know. Stupidest thing I did? Left a set of forms and a handbag on top of a recycling box in the garage. Her only comment was “Put those away before the kids see them.” Although she knows I am still terrified she will catch me dressed or find something I have left lying around because I don’t want to remind her or cause her any more anxiety. I go out dressed – she doesn’t know I do. Its only a matter of time……….

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