Now YOU Can Do It Too!

This is a story of my life.  Hopefully, it inspires others to keep their faith in themselves and to know that no matter your age, it’s never too late to live and be who you are.

It was in the early 70’s, when I was around 9 years old, that I began to realize I related to girls more than boys.  I didn’t know what sex was about and didn’t care to understand it.  What I did know was that I liked to play with the girls more than the boys in the neighborhood.  This may have been a time of “groovy”, liberal revolution but transgender people were not yet included in that “movement”…. not that I could have understood any movement at that age!  I was merely playing with the neighbor girls, coloring and playing house. The truth be told, during this time, it seemed that there was only straight, or gay and nothing in between.  No one understood transgender people or expressed any acknowledgment of what we were feeling.

Once I grew into my teens, I would try on my mother’s clothes whenever I was alone. Eventually, I was caught and I fully remember the shame that I felt.  I didn’t truly understand why I wanted to or felt the need to wear panties.  It was just pretty, and I felt “right”.  Eventually, my mother caught a glimpse of her panties over the ridge of my pants.  I still have a hard time talking about it!  The first question from her was, “Why?”. That was a question that I could only answer in panic.  “I ran out of underwear”, is what I said!  Well, a short time later came the real question from her, “Are you Gay”?  I wasn’t “Gay”!  I was just doing what I felt was right for me.  So, my answer was “No”.  That was the last time we spoke of it.  I learned from this to only obtain my panties from the dime store and hide them well.

Skipping ahead in years of constant purging and denial, I married a wonderful woman.  My need, however, to be the woman that I really was, remained.  That desire eventually was also discovered by my wife and the marriage ended. I felt so alone and society made me feel that I should hide.  However, times were changing some and I always felt, I always dreamed of that one day when I could be happy.

I did finally accept my true nature at 45 years of age.  I was surprised to see that I was not alone (my reason for writing this article)!  It appears that there are many of us out there that were born and raised in a time that held us back.  Even in current times, it’s very difficult, but there is some help!  I know that there are many great people who have struggled so hard throughout their lives. To them, I want to say, “There Is Hope”!

Finally, I took the steps, regardless of my generation’s fear that had long been in my head.  Five years ago, I made an appointment with the gender clinic.  I had previously canceled it three times!  I met with a doctor and was so nervous my perspiration was showing through my clothing!  I had arrived in a conservative outfit, meaning a moderate dress with a sweater, and I was “WELCOMED”!!!!!  They made me feel safe and comfortable and understood my fears.  They openly accepted me as I appeared and were ready to talk and understand who I truly was.  I first had to attend a meeting where they explained the effects, possible side effects, and health risks of hormone replacement therapy.  Then, I had to meet with one of their doctors to evaluate how I felt and what would be the best course to follow.  Another appointment was needed for a physical exam to assess my risks of using hormones. We discussed how I felt, my current health conditions, and it was ultimately determined that I should consider hormone replacement.  I had no hesitation in my desire to be “ME”, no matter what!  I was

While my life has since been challenged, it has been absolutely worth it!  I had to take a job that paid much less, but they accepted me, and I am at peace with me….. finally!!!!  I am a woman, it was not just a decision that I made… It is who I am!

So, I offer my encouragement to all of you who felt that they could never become “who they are”… THERE IS HOPE!!!  Now, there are many who understand us and also many options for transition.  Finally, you can live happily and feel fulfilled!

Now, I live as a woman, as I feel I should, and have been on HRT for five years.  I’m in a wonderful relationship with a man.  Still, I struggle with family.  Yet, I know they love me!  I continue to have regular visits to the clinic for checkups and absolutely adore all those that work there.

I fondly wish that you find inspiration or hope through this article.  Just know that it’s from my heart.

Marsha Cooper

More Articles by The Author

The following two tabs change content below.

Marsha

I am a TG woman in my early 50’s. I have experienced a time of misunderstanding, and have found myself through my life journey

Latest posts by Marsha (see all)

Tags:
25 Comments

Leave a reply

  1. Arlene Monroe 10 months ago

    Great encouraging story Marsha. Glad to see that you are finally living life as a woman openly and with man who loves you. From one brave act to honest fulfillment.

  2. Sahi saheli 10 months ago

    Dear,
    Your story resembles mine because I love my mother and so much attached to her that I used to cling to her in my childhood,wear her bodies . She is also very attached to me loves as I am her last sibling.Thank you for the contribution.
    Love
    Sahi

  3. Malin Andersson 10 months ago

    Thank you Marsha . Recognize lot of the stuff you talked about . Exception being that I am into women and see my self as a lesbian we have pretty much the same story .
    Huggs

  4. Penny 10 months ago

    Marsha, your story is awesome! You give me hope that there is something better on the other side of transition even at our age.

  5. Serena Sorenson 10 months ago

    You live the dream ! I feel so encouraged pondering my next steps…..

  6. Brandi Walker 10 months ago

    Thank you for sharing, Marsha. You are inspiring.

    • Author
      Marsha 10 months ago

      Brandi,
      Thank you so much! I love to hear that my story is inspiring.

  7. Marsha thank you so much for writing this. Your story is well written and inspiring. I am so glad someone with your talent to bring out the words so many of use want to say has presented this so others can now see there is hope. Thanks again.

    • Author
      Marsha 10 months ago

      Sara,
      Thank you so much! When I wrote the article, I sincerely wanted people to realize that there is hope, and others like myself are there to help them, and inspire them.

  8. Josselyn 10 months ago

    Thanks for your wonderful story I am to struggling to figure out who I am and ware I belong. Your words gave me hope . Thanks for sharing.

    • Author
      Marsha 10 months ago

      Josselyn,
      Thank you for the kind words, and it makes me very happy that my story gives you hope. I hope that you find yourself, and find happiness all along the journey.

  9. Stephanie Rigoni 10 months ago

    Thank you Marsha. Being of your generation I can relate to so much of it. The desire of my heart is a similar ending. But I too am married to a wonderful woman, so while I live one dream (marriage, father) I only dream of the other.

    • Author
      Marsha 10 months ago

      Thank you for all the kind words! I hope you can feel fulfillment in your life, and enjoy the ones you love, and love you.

  10. Gisela Claudine 10 months ago

    Thank you for the inspiration, Marsha. The counting of your journey nourishes us of encouragement.

  11. *skippy1965(Cynthia) 10 months ago

    Lovely story Marsha! Still figuring out my own path-time will tell where my journey leads but I plan to enjoy the trip no matter where I end up!
    Cyn

  12. Julie Carson 10 months ago

    Thank you Marsha, I could tell this story is from your sensitive heart honey. And you are right on with every word…..

  13. Leonara 10 months ago

    Marsha ….thank you for sharing your journey …it’s an inspiration for all of us..

  14. Jenna Good 10 months ago

    Thank you Marsha for your lovely story. So many of use go through this.

  15. Marianne 10 months ago

    Thank you Marsha for a wonderful description of your journey. I can relate to so much in it, though I never have taken the step to realize my lifelong wish to be a girl/woman.

    • Author
      Marsha 10 months ago

      Thank you Marianne,
      I hope you found inspiration, and enjoy each day. The future is yours to live, and there is many great times ahead.

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account