I started this little tale as an answer to “We’re All Different” by my (everybody’s) friend, JaneS but like Topsy, it just grew so I have decided to submit it as a separate story.
I have been following Cross Dresser Heaven for a number of years, long before it became the fully interactive site it is today, as Jane has said, it is the best transgender site on the internet.
I have been dressing for over over 50 years, I don’t know why I started but when I did it, I felt as if something was ‘right’ about it. For most of that time, when I was dressed, I also felt an increased sexual awareness and when puberty hit me, I always received a higher level of gratification when I was dressed or even fantasizing about being a female participant in a sexual act and usually I would be seeing myself as a lesbian.
The weekend before our wedding, I worked the night shift till 4.00am and would wake up at midday, my fiancee paid a surprise visit to my home (we lived 60 miles apart) and came into my bedroom when I was due to wake up. She could see that I was wearing a bra so I came out to her that I was a cross dresser. I offered her the option of cancelling the wedding, which she declined and a week later she became my wife. Instead of purging as I had planned, I took my collection of feminine clothing with me when we moved into the marital home and I have continued to dress throughout our marriage which is now approaching 42 years.
About 5 years ago, at my wife’s insistence that I find some like minded friends, I searched the internet for other people who shared my love of femininity. I opened a Facebook account as Sheryl and I discovered an Australian site called ‘Tranny Radio’ which is now Transgender radio or TgR. I also found a blog site called Cross Dresser Heaven which I began to follow and read ‘Cross Dresser Success Stories’ of other girls who followed the blog. Through TgR I found another Cross Dresser in my area, who I met in person at a public place and who then came to my home where we dressed and got made up and we shared some femme time together even taking pictures. She soon invited me to go with her to a gathering of cross dressers which was to be held in Melbourne (100 miles away) at a gay pub.
This became my ‘coming out’ to the world. After spending 4 hours dressing and applying my make-up then driving for another 2 hours, I walked into a populated public venue for the first time as Sheryl. Within 5 minutes I felt as if I had been reborn as the woman I’d been hiding for all those years. I was finally, completely comfortable, as me, a woman, wearing a dress and make-up in a public place, being treated as a woman by everyone there. Not only by the cross dressers but also the staff and all the other people in the pub. I was in heaven.
Within a few months I had met many other girls like me and I began to venture out to other venues like shopping centres where I was able to shop for feminine things without feeling out of place, at last.
Another thing I realised shortly after coming out, was that I no longer felt the sexual thrill when dressing femme. Being out in public and being accepted as just another woman, seemed to ‘normalise’ the behavior that I had previously kept secret from the world. I was not sexually dysfunctional by any means but I no longer related to my cross dressing in a sexual way, it was the new normal for me.
A few years ago, again at my wife’s insistence, I came out to our two children. I received and continue to receive total support and acceptance from them and their spouses, I go shopping en femme with our daughter-in-law whenever the opportunity arises. For the last two years we have celebrated Transparent day instead of Father’s day.
I also attended GLBTIQ events and met a whole new bunch of people who were a bit different to my previous ‘normal’ but were nice to be with and many of them became good friends. I now dress femme for about 50% of my time and go almost anywhere as Sheryl. I do try to dress to blend in but I prefer dresses and skirts and sometimes I find myself the only woman around who is not wearing pants.
Then CDH was changed and the followers became participants who could chat and send messages to each other, I saw that even among cross dressers there was a huge variety of people who had a different view of exactly what CD’ing meant. Among them are trans-sexuals, sissies, fetishists, bi-sexuals, the list goes on in infinite variety but the thing that sets all these people on CDH apart from the general population and in particular in chat rooms, is that they are all accepting of their differences and just plain ‘nice’ to each other, no matter what their individual point of view.
Friendships are formed in the chat room at a breath taking rate, sometimes I just sit and watch and wonder where all these beautiful people have come from. From the the Middle East, where a cross dresser is treated the same as a hardened criminal, from the Bible Belt of the USA where they are mortal sinners. From Capetown to Norway, all over Asia and South America too, girls from just about everywhere are sharing their tips and advice, their highs and lows, their feminine desires, their sisterly love for each other. TG/CD women from everywhere, all different but all with the same love of femininity, have found a new home on the internet where they can be themselves.
Thank you Vanessa.
Viva la difference.