Have you ever seen one of those transformation photos? You know, the ones that show a good-looking guy before and a gorgeous woman after.  I think it’s safe to say that some of us get disappointed when we get dressed and we don’t look like the lady in the after picture. I found for a long time that I looked and simply felt like a man in a dress. I just didn’t know what the femme version of me was supposed to look like and would I ever find her attractive? I mean, if the woman in you that you are trying to create is not at least a little pretty even just to you, what is the point in creating her? When dressed, if you are not confident in your look, others will notice too. And if you venture into the outside world, that attention doesn’t make for a fun en-femme experience.

So the problem as I see it is to find the girl in the mirror when all you see is a guy staring back at you. How do you find that girl? And how do you find the time to chase that ideal lady with all the hats that you have to wear in your life now? You may be a father, or a husband, or a brother to someone. You probably have a job or something that takes up most of your day where you present the guy side of you. Your job may not end at 5:00 because you have to be out marketing in the community. You need to drive to work, drive the kids, go to meetings, buy food and help run the house. With a busy life, creating the ideal version of you can get shoved into a very small part of your life. And when you do get dressed, it may be 30 minutes till that significant person comes home… So I see two problems, one is finding what that ideal femme side of you looks like, and finding the time to lure her out.

To make more time for your femme side, you could start with the time that you already have. Ever watch the news as you are getting dressed for your day? There are lots of ladies anchoring the news desk these days. Perhaps while you are buttoning your shirt you might notice the shape of her eyebrows or the style of her makeup or whether that outfit works for her or not.

Perhaps you need to run out for a bite to eat at lunchtime. You need to grab a quick bite and clear your head before the workday afternoon begins. Why not check out the attractive ladies on your way to and from lunch. Perhaps note the ones that are near your age group. Notice what they are wearing, not just the clothes but the hairstyle, their jewelry, their lip and nail color and what shoes they are wearing. When you start this process, in a little while you will get a lot better at analyzing what styles appeal to you. Then you can start making mental notes of what you like when you go out for lunch. This activity will help you focus on the details that go into building a femme appearance and also help you find styles that appeal to you and your femme self.  You may find you appreciate the women in your life in a whole different way!

En Femme Style

So let’s get back to working with our time. Now it’s after dinner, and you’ve watched the news(hint, hint). Perhaps you have time to do a little internet surfing before you get ready for bed. What about doing an image search for trendy women? Type that into Google and see what comes up. If you like looking at photos, perhaps take a look at Pinterest. Check out www.Pinterest.com. Consider creating a Pinterest account? Then you could surf and look at pretty girls, ladies en-femme, hairstyles and makeup. Then you might start to identify body shapes and face shapes that are close to your own. You could try pinning these photos with the idea that you are looking for one that is close to you! You could then share your Pins with the ladies on Crossdresser Heaven.

With anything that is online, there will be a trail. You will need an email address to use Pinterst and you will leave a trail on your browser if you don’t take steps to safeguard your privacy. A positive thing that comes out of participating in social media is that you will soon find others that are like-minded.

What I have suggested to you through this post is fairly simple. Find some time to think critically about the femme side of you. Try to get a few looks that you like and then consider the next steps to create those looks. With a bit of time and practice, you will notice your attention shifting to what women are wearing and how they carry themselves. Those ladies have spent their entire lives practicing and refining the art of being female. We as CD’s should not expect to get there in a series of rushed encounters with the exciting but forbidden world of hair, makeup and fashion. Take your time, look around, enjoy your life, enjoy being femme. It is not a crime to be a CD, but some people feel the need to put down anyone or anything that is not just like them. There is no doubt that it takes real strength to be aware of the injustices that happen every day to people around us. It takes even more strength if the injustices happen to you! So by all means, explore the world around you, try to go with a friend and cherish the friendship of all who are like you!


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Debbie Satingirl
Debbie Satingirl
8 years ago

Hi I’m debbie and a new girl on here

Dianne Baldwin
Dianne Baldwin
8 years ago

Was a very informative article and left me with a lot to think about
Thank you

7 years ago

I like your approach.

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