Children who express crossdressing or transgender tendencies from a young age need understanding, love and acceptance from parents and care givers. Livestrong.com has some great advice for parents who discover their son crossdressing.
When you discover your son wearing female clothing, including skirts, tights, heels and even panties, it can be a shocking experience. You worry that if your son is a cross-dresser, he has a mental problem or sexual perversion. Cross-dressing begins when most boys are young, and despite how strange it may seem, it’s a completely normal behavior. It’s very difficult to stop someone’s enjoyment of cross-dressing if he’s been doing it for any length of time. You can, however, help your son by giving him the support he needs from his parents.
Realize that cross-dressing does not make you perverted, mentally ill or homosexual. Cross-dressing may be somewhat sexually exciting to teen boys, but this is not abnormal.
Parents must consider your age before responding to his cross-dressing. Before about six years of age, children think their gender can be changed, so they may dress to reflect that. Young children might also just enjoy playing as or pretending to be the opposite sex.
Watch for signs that may prompt you to cross-dress while he’s still in elementary school. For example, if your young son says he wishes he were the other gender or hates being a boy, he might begin cross-dressing. Boys who always want to play with toys considered to be girl’s or who typically draw pictures of the opposite sex may also be interested in cross-dressing. If you notice these signs, consider having a talk with your son about his feelings.
Ensure that your son has a male role model, such as his father or grandfather, as well as male friends, so he learns what it’s like to be a boy. Don’t discourage his interaction with females, however.
Refrain from calling your son names or punishing him for cross-dressing. This will only drive him away and cause him to be more secretive about his behavior.
Suggest that your son only cross-dress in private, especially if other kids are making fun of him at school.
Ask your son to purchase his own clothing for cross-dressing instead of using the clothes of other female household members. If your son is young, provide him with dress-up clothes from both genders to encourage him to explore and use his imagination.
Assure your son that you love him regardless of his cross-dressing. Tell him that you’d like to talk to him about it so you can understand him better.
Schedule an appointment with your family physician or a therapist if your son’s cross-dressing is causing him serious distress or unhappiness.
Though the steps above are needed for a healthy life and strong relationships they are not always followed. Everyone needs acceptance, love and support to flourish.
My Parents Don’t Accept My Crossdressing
If your parents don’t accept your crossdressing, or you find yourself in a strained and unwelcoming home environment there is help! We aren’t psychologists at Crossdresser Heaven, and unfortunately aren’t able to offer a community of love, support and guidance for people under 18 years old. This means that many resources such as the forum and chat rooms aren’t available to you. We know that this can be frustrating, but thankfully there are many organizations who can help.
Trans lifeline is a wonderful organization, you can reach them at:
US: (877) 565-8860 Canada: (877) 330-6366
Trans Lifeline is a non-profit organization dedicated to the well being of transgender people. The hotline is staffed by transgender people for transgender people. Trans Lifeline volunteers are ready to respond to whatever support is needed by members of our community.
Additional support can be obtained at:
If you feel you need help, please take the steps to get appropriate help.