Previously, I’ve been out-n-about in heels visiting a chocolate shop and doing the LTDB thing at the mall. I needed to get to the grocery store before the weather affected travel…and would make walking in heels more treacherous.

As the story continues, I left the mall and was driving to the grocery store…I like grocery shopping. It’s a good thing because I like to eat. I haven’t always been so confident at checkout though. Back in the day, I avoided checkout lanes. I only processed my purchases through the self-check kiosks. So long as I didn’t screw anything up, I wouldn’t need to interface with anyone. Any doubt about me vanishes when I speak. I now decide which lane to go through based on what I have to check. Does it bother me if my voice gives me up? Not anymore! My voice is what it is, but I am self-conscious of it.

When I arrived at the grocery store, the parking lot was packed! After driving around, a spot came open at the far end of the lot. Considering the distance to the store, I contemplated changing into my flats. But thought no, by golly, I am going to wear heels. If you are going to get good at this thing we do, you must have determination and tenacity. Above all, self-confidence! So, off across the lot I walked…in heels.

Approaching the store front, I noticed people lining up for the cart attendant to bring them a cart. I took my place in line, enjoying listening to other people complain about the inconvenience of having to wait. I felt perfectly wonderful to be among them…even if they were complaining. It wasn’t me they were complaining about. I don’t think they even noticed me! After I received a cart, I made my way into the store and navigated through the crowd. I’m sure there were more people than safety protocol would recommend.  The shelves were picked bare of several of the items on my list, which meant shopping at another store. It would also mean mingling more with shoppers; I didn’t mind. Being out-n-about among others builds confidence. I don’t recall seeing anyone else in heels.

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As I approached the checkout, all the lanes, including self-check lanes, were backed-up. I chose the shortest line. It soon became obvious why it was the shortest. I was number four in line as the three in front of me had overflowing carts. Adding to each one’s frustration, the clerk was a young trainee…and slow. I didn’t mind. I stood there shuffling from one foot to the other…in my heels.

Shoppers continued to fall into line behind me.  I listened to their conversations for mentions about the tall, female appearing person wearing heels. I felt a slight tug on my jacket and a voice behind me said, “Say, has anyone ever told you that you are tall?”  Turning to speak to the person behind me, I had to look down. The owner of the voice, a lady, couldn’t have stood taller than five feet. She was adorable!  Smiling, I replied, “Yes, I’ve been told that.” Then she said, “I bet you can reach items on the top shelf?”  To which I said, “I can, but it’s the bottom shelf that’s a challenge.”   As we chatted, she commented that there were too many people in the store, and she would have to return because the store sold out of a few items from her list.  I agreed and said I couldn’t find items either and would stop at another store on my way home. She wished me luck and cautioned me to… “watch out for crazy drivers.” Chuckling. I wished her a Merry Christmas and turned back in line. I didn’t sense anything suspicious during our conversation. This thing we do is a self-conscious/awareness activity.  So, it’s great to be able to “chat” with others. It relieves tensions and the anxiety of wondering what others may be thinking, or saying, about you. Interacting with others creates a warm feeling!

Finally… It’s my turn to go through the checkout. The cashier was young and personable. He asked the usual cashier questions. He did look at me several times with a queried look, as if he weren’t quite sure of something. I felt it had to be my appearance. That’s when you start to wonder if your blouse is gaping open, or your lipstick is smudged, or one of your earrings or nails is missing… A myriad of suspicious thoughts run through your mind. It compounds and you might even blush. When this happens, I’ve learned to ask a question, to distract the person from their perceptions. For them, I think it either confirms a suspicion, or casts enough doubt that they accept what they see.  I think he accepted me as the female I appeared to be, because he said, “Merry Christmas!” and “we’ll see you again soon ma’am.” That is a compliment to hear!

By now my feet are feeling as though they have been cooped up long enough, especially one toe. On exiting the store, I stopped at the Salvation Army pot to deposit another dollar. When I got to the truck some jerk had parked so close that I had to position my cart behind the truck to unload it. It caused me to squeeze in sideways to get into my truck. When I got in, I looked down and saw a fella in the car playing with his phone. Geez!  He could have offered to help the lady…Some people!

The parking lot at the next store was also overcrowded, but I was lucky to find a parking spot closer to the door. My feet ached and I wanted to change into flats. I didn’t want cramps tonight. Regardless, my goal was to complete the day in heels.

I entered the store, picked up the last hand basket, and made my way through all the congestion. I found all the items quickly but wanted to mingle amongst the crowd before checking out. I aimlessly walked up and down aisles, sometimes having to wait for an opening in the aisle to pass. I helped people reach items on the higher shelves, and was butt bumped twice followed by an “excuse me ma’am.”  Both the bump and the apology felt wonderful! Incidental Interaction is a great way to meet people…which builds confidence.

The checkout lanes were congested here, too. I shifted from one foot to the other as I patiently waited in line. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to face an elderly gentleman bundled up in his winter coat and cap, who was holding a small bag in each hand. He held up the two bags and said, “My chicken is getting cold.” I could sympathize with him. He asked what it was the cashier had put in the lady’s sack? I asked him to describe it. “It looked like little balls on a stick.”  I suggested it might be Brussel Sprouts. He replied, “I didn’t know Brussel Sprouts grew on a stick.” And reiterated that his chicken is getting cold.  My feet ached… I wanted the line to move along too. When I approached the cashier, she looked at me eye to eye and asked for my member number, along with the typical cashier questions. We chatted about the weather, and crowds, and on leaving she said, “See you soon, ma’am.”  Oh, how wonderful to hear! There were no dubious looks or reactions during our conversation. I wished her a Merry Christmas! The Supervisor approached me as I exited the checkout lane and complimented me on my blouse and leather jacket. It was a wonderful interaction and experience…and feeling of joy.

When I returned to my truck, I rubbed my toe and changed into my flats. I am proud of myself for having gone all day in heels without experiencing any setbacks such as a twisted ankle. Even my voice didn’t seem to raise suspicion…And I’m so glad I brought my flats!

It was a day filled with wonderful experiences. My enjoyment comes from confidence. I derive that from the encouraging comments to photos and messages from CDH friends and members…and from mustering the courage to step out the door.

My wife and I have identified elements of my crossdressing needing improvement. Today, I focused on speaking and wearing heels. Kitten heels, but heels, nonetheless. I hope many of you can relate to my experiences. I wish that those of you who want to take that step out your door but are hesitant, enjoyed being with me vicariously in my adventures.

I acknowledge that June is a living force within me. As I envision who I want June to be; I continually work to present June with poise and confidence, and I accept that I am my own kind of beautiful!

Please join me on my next adventure…

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Married, 70 something, MtF heterosexual Crossdresser. I am happy in my skin! I am a male who finds exhilaration experiencing the feminine mystique through this phenomenon called Cross Dressing. My goal is to be inconspicuous ... to blend in. When recognized; I want it to be as a classy, proper lady. My wife is now mostly understanding and accepting of June. She doesn’t particularly care to see me en femme. However, she is now offering to critique June's appearance through photos, and has self-appointed herself to June's CDH photo post selection committee. Strange isn’t it…she doesn’t want to see me en femme, but will review my photos!? I hope to meet others for friendship. It does not matter if you are in your closet, or like me, have found the door knob and stepped out. If you are happy in your skin, I'd be interested in meeting online, socially, in public, groups, en femme or in drab. There is a caveat, however. I may not respond to an online/site member friendship request, or invitation to meet personally, if you have not completed your CDH profile form, including your profile Bio, and posted a public photo…including your face, at a minimum. I respect and value friendships. Because I have been the target of inappropriate, lewd and unsolicited advances; for both our benefits, I will not accept friendship requests that do not meet these requirements. I want to share, and also seek, experiences with other like-minded souls. To that end, I promise I will not extend a friendship invitation for the sake of adding another number to my list. While I am not a prude, neither will I respond to requests or comments including lecherous overtones. I am a retired degreed engineer, and manager from the aerospace and defense sectors. I enjoy fly fishing, tying my own flies, playing guitar, model railroading, hiking, camping, bicycling, working with wood, helping others, my Jeep, ... almost as much as I enjoy experiences as June. I live part time in OK, and part time in CO. The rest of the time my wife and I are rambling around in our 5th wheel RV enjoying life in these great United States; hiking all the National Parks, and meeting truly wonderful people! Unless you have been out there, the pictures you see are not even close to the beauty and splendor of this country. I have met others of us along my travels. Some en femme…some not. These experiences have been truly wonderful! I was first exposed to this phenomenon in my late 30’s. I was challenged by someone I knew professionally to join them as a female appearing person in an experiment. I was, at first, repulsed! Then, later allowed myself to be talked into giving it a go. Even though I was “made up” by an experienced artist, and the clothes were selected for me to fit the occasion, I saw myself in the mirror looking like a dude in a dress, and backed out of the challenge. But I was infected by that first peek in the mirror… that distorted vision of someone trying to look like someone they were not...and the sensations of it all. I wanted back into those clothes and makeup. I wanted to improve my presentation and to gaze longer than a peek at the reflection in the mirror. I wanted to prove to myself that I could step out in public. And yes, I wanted to feel those sensations, again! Along the way, June has evolved from dressing indelicately, to way too conservative, to a look that presents June as you see today…a classy, proper lady. Even when dressed casually. As you view my photos, I hope you will agree that is how you see June. That doesn’t mean I am “prim”, and don’t have fun. I can do/be both. If you don’t agree, please let me know. If you do agree, please let me know. I like constructive, and positive feedback. June is on a Continuous Improvement journey. As I explore the feminine mystique through the thrills of this phenomenon called Cross Dressing; I ask for your help as you view my photos, by inviting you to offer suggestions/comments on what you see might be improved. Until we meet, I wish you warm regards,

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Nicole Fenders
Lady
Member
2 years ago

Loved your story!

Nicole Fenders
Lady
Member
2 years ago
Reply to  June

Gosh June I sure will. Happy Easter!

Nicole Fenders
Lady
Member
11 months ago
Reply to  June

@June June it’s been forever.  Are you doing ok?

Nicole Fenders
Lady
Member
11 months ago
Reply to  June

@June wow…challenging hikes!  Fantastic cardio.  I’m glad you two have crossed off so many grand National Parks.

Leonara
Ambassador
Noble Member
2 years ago

Second time around the story gets better and better… thanks for sharing….

Lauren Russell
Lady
Active Member
11 months ago

@June For me, wearing heels is an innately feminine thing and definitely something I enjoy.   While I love a nice pair of stilettos, whenever I know I will be walking some distance, I have started wearing shoes with more of a block heel.  They give me more stability, make it easier to walk and still give me the look I want.

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