I have only been going out and about for less than three years. At first, it was nerve-wracking and scary. It wasn’t until I made it safely back into the house that I relaxed and recalled the events of the day. That was then. I have since found inspiration, courage, and confidence. Now, when I go out, I savor the experience. I snap photos of every happening, and I’ve got stories for nearly every adventuresome outing. This one made me laugh so hard it hurt.

This story takes place in Littleton, Colorado. It is early September, and the weather is perfect for an outing. I was ending a wonderful day out, but before returning to the RV, I stopped in at the King Sooper (Kroger) grocery store to pick up a few items. This is the same store where two years ago the checkout cashier hugged me because she recognized me as a crossdresser. Please read about that in Articles / Hodgepodge. search for Close Encounters.

When I make a trip to the grocery store, I go with a shopping list on my phone. Holding the phone is like a security blanket (it gives me something to do with my hands.) Plus, it is something to look at if I suddenly feel uncomfortable. While shopping, I often intentionally walk past an item on my list, just so I can enjoy more exposure. Well, I was finding everything just fine from my list until the Hershey’s syrup. I went up and down every aisle twice but did not find it.

Looking for the store directory, the one hanging from the ceilings identifying the aisle for an item, I saw the restroom sign. I guess it was the power of suggestion, as suddenly I had the urge to use the restroom. You know the sensation you get when you hear trickling water? Yeah, that urge.

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Without hesitation, I walked into the lady’s room. It was a two-stall restroom. As I sat, I began reviewing the shopping list on my phone. I heard the door open to the other stall. Looking at the floor next to me, I see the worn polish of painted toes on a pair of feet. Next, I hear the person struggling to undo themselves while their feet shuffled back and forth. I see a pair of shorts bunched on the floor.

A moment later, and all at once, there came a gust of wind the likes of which I have not heard since high school farting contests in the showers! OMG the sound that came from that stall! Then another blast! My word…I was utterly shocked! I turned on my camera to snap a photo of myself as a remembrance of this experience. I had to hold my breath and place my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing aloud! It hurt to hold it back… There came a slight groan and release of breath, kind of like when you blow a puff of air. I heard a trickling sound. I heard everything so clearly that it occurred to me the acoustics of the stalls amplify sound. At least I think that is why I heard everything so clearly. I thought gosh, I hope I’m not that evident…Then suddenly it went silent.

By now I have finished, done my paperwork, and exited the stall. After washing my hands, I primped at my hair in the mirror when the woman walks out of the toilet stall. She looked at me and said, “that’s a relief!” Without washing her hands, she walked out of the restroom… Can you imagine my amazement? As I turned to exit, I grabbed a paper towel to grasp the door handle to open the door.

This encounter has changed the way I think about women doing things “ladylike.” I know flatulence is a normal biological process and is something every one of us experiences. I’ve read that the average person releases wind about 5–15 times per day… but who’s counting? For some, it can happen more and be related to an underlying digestive system’s health problem. Something tells me that the lady in the next stall was like the blue bears in the toilet tissue commercial and just enjoying her go time. We all do it…

The takeaway is that we all do it. But beware… the sound is amplified in those ladies’ room stalls, and because of that, I will endeavor to be more “ladylike” or discreet the next time I go.

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Isabelle O'Malley
Active Member
1 year ago

By far the funniest story I’ve ever read here on CDH! Thank you for the laughs!!

Noble Member
1 year ago

Thanks for such a funny and well-written article, June. I have heard that women’s restrooms are often a lot messier than most men’s rooms. Let’s face it, most real women are unrefined savages below all that makeup, perfume and pretty clothes. Absolute animals. Shame on that woman for so openly expressing her biological functions. Tell me why we want to be like these horrid creatures again? Mwaaahahahaha!

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