There is a lot to talk about, and I could make each point a worthy article, but I thought I would instead throw some expanded comments at the wall to see which ones stick…
I’ve kind of had one of those weeks where I’m pulled in different directions. One moment, I’m searching online for therapists and then I’m gleefully awaiting the arrival of my recent eBay purchases. If you are into clip-on earrings, then eBay is your kind of place. And then I’m wondering what I’m going to do with all the other earrings that I have… How many are too many? I used to buy them in lots to get the one or two pairs that I liked. The rest became a resale (which I’m not doing at the moment) or a donation. I’ve refined my search techniques and have bought some amazing sets. And then… I needed new rings, bracelets, necklaces, and of course the perfect dress to wear to showcase them. (It doesn’t matter if I’m not headed out in public. This is about me feeling good about myself!)
If you are diligent, know what you are looking for, and are patient then you can find great bargains (even more so than going to a thrift shop) on eBay. Try running a search string for “dress lot.” I pull up the options and put in my size and other wants. I have gotten some very expensive designer dresses (sometimes mixed in with questionable tastes) for a fraction of the cost, many still with the tags. I think I have 20-30 watched items going all the time these days. I still think bargain first and resist the temptation to buy the expensive items when I know I’ll be happy with something that posts in the future for much less cost. Skirt lots, top lots, bra lots…lots and lots to spend my money on and fill my closet and drawers with. I’m beginning to notice a separation in my clothing styles as my mind becomes more infused with the notion that I might actually be spending more time out in public as Brina. I believe it’s inevitable, and knowing so means having appropriate and quality clothing and accessories to make this 60-year-old look younger and stylish. I still like visiting thrift stores. Being able to touch the clothes is important to me as well, especially when buying tops. I also love how it gives me the ability to experiment without costing me a small fortune.
As long as I’m talking about eBay it would be a good time to mention buying a wig from them. Cheap isn’t the way to go, nor should you ever think that it will look the same on you as it does the mannequin. Buying expensive without trying it on isn’t the way to go either. Over the last 10 years, I’ve come to like Noriko and Raquel Welch wigs the best, though I watch a few others, too. I still shop for the perfect color and length for the right price or a steal of a deal on one. I buy used and wash them when they arrive. Again…when the time comes, I will have 3-6 (who am I kidding…10-15) that reflect me for who I am and will look natural in my public presentation. I’ve found it amazing how the right wig color and style can make or break the look of an outfit. I’m dressed and looking in the mirror, “This isn’t going to work at all,” I tell the reflection. I put on a wig and, “Yep, this is bad,” until I try another that I’m sure won’t work either and suddenly the outfit, and me, looks good, sometimes astonishingly so.
I want to take a moment to let you know that some help is on the way. I’ve asked Alexandra Forbes to write a series of articles to showcase her abilities and to offer all of us some perspectives (and some hope) in finding and bringing out our inner-girl more. She represents the crossdressers well, and I look forward to learning from her, too. Her first article will be hitting the front page shortly.
Keeping with articles; don’t be afraid to submit one. We have editors to help you work out the kinks and prepare your piece for publication. It doesn’t just have to be about how you started out and arrived at this point in your crossdressing journey. It might be something sad or funny that happened to you. I only ask that it be PG in nature and have something to do with being a crossdresser or transgender or in between. We like them to be 500-750 words in length. I could also use a couple of editors to join our staff as well. You can PM me for more information.
I have a little OCD in me. It perfectly compliments my anxieties…not…but it does make for interesting conversation–within my own mind. As a writer, I’m intrigued by names. They have intrinsic value—in my eyes at least. I keep a database of names and utilize it when characters need to have that elusive name or fit my imagery of them. As I’ve friended members on CDH, I’ve added their names to my database. My friending is another story. If you submit an article or post a picture then I applaud you by sending you a friend request. It’s my way of saying, “Woot, woot. That a girl! Way to go!” I’m also pretty good at responding to questions and being helpful to those who ask.
Anyway…I have close to 5,000 CDH names from my almost 6 years here. I thought it might be fun to give you some tidbits. Jennifer and all its offshoots (Jen, Jenna, Jenny) along with Michelle (all spellings), and Stefanie or Stephanie are the top 3 most often chosen names. There are some really unique names and of course those that play on symbolism or have double meanings. Some show their heritage or nationality. Lots of Samanthas (which or is it witch who didn’t love Bewitched), Kathryns—and offshoots, Ambers, Jessicas, Emilys, Erins, and Rachels, too.
Some of the more interesting ones are, Zirona Garden, Yale Bernadotte, Vibeke Caroline Riber, Val’sheril Starsong, Triesste, Teegan Gabrella, Sskira Liu, Sinty Green, Sirpa Anneli, Serendipity Roe, Saefire Bennett, Rikkee D McGonigel, Renesmee Leadbetter, Ravyn Spendy, Qira Jannae, Nisha Quinzel, Neith Ctenidae, Muffy LaRue, Milli Madera, Marianella Miami, Malgosia, Kyra Daxis, Khryssie Van Klaassen, Kandy Licious, Kallista Narramore, Jetta Fischetti, Jels Provenzale, Ibrahana, Guilda Legrand, Freya Herrera, Fernanda del Mar, Felcia Emme Fairchild, Emerald Verdant, Delyse Denier, Daeyton Jayde, Celestina Astra, Ceary Johnson, Carica Catture, Bryoni Kate, Bootsy Christina, Billie Wentworth, Asma Reagan, Anupama Singh, Anamika Sen, Adelaide Graham, and my recent favorite Abbie Normal are all book worthy names. All these names alone bring an imagined look to my mind, and I can envision interesting characters for all of them.
We didn’t get the chance to choose our name when we were born, but this rebirth is something we can have a say in. I’ve seen girls come and go on-site, many using different names when they come back. Some change their names as often as they do their hair color. Some have a particular reason for the name they chose, some feminize their male names, and some I can tell place a high value on the name they chose as it represents them as much as they represent it. One of the questions on our profile asks how we chose our femme name—right there is a story that many of us could write and submit to be published.
Whether we see our name as a character statement or the relevance of who we feel we are on the inside and try to portray on the outside, they are all important, all with significance. We chose them to honor our first loves (real or imagined), famous celebrity crushes, our sexy aunt, or the married lady next door who sunned in her bikini (or didn’t) when we were 12. Our name is an inspiration to us, a calling of sorts. Yes, it can also just be fun and frivolous, and that is perfectly fine. I can’t imagine what those who have legally changed their name went through or felt at the moment they made it official…maybe someday I will…
Until next time…
Sabrina Leigh MacTavish