This past November, I began my CD journey. I’ve worn undergarments and lingerie on and off for years in secret but realized I didn’t want to suppress my femme identity any longer. I started buying clothes and dressing in secret as much as I could. Never fully dressed because I rarely had the time nor the ability to do makeup or nails. I still wanted to put on my clothes and experience that femme feeling as much as possible.
I didn’t tell my wife, not because I was afraid of her reaction, but because I wasn’t totally sure what was actually going on with me. I had tons of questions and new and unknown feelings. How could I come out to her, let alone answer questions I was sure she would ask? I didn’t know the answers myself. Well, recently I did come out to her. I’m not sure that it could have gone any better!!! After I summoned the courage and told her I was a crossdresser, she said, “Yeah, I know. You’ve enjoyed putting on my underwear and nightgowns for years.” And I said, “Yes, that’s true, but I have my own wardrobe, dozens of pairs of panties, bras, skirts, dresses, breast forms, heels, and pretty much everything but a wig.”
Her response was, “That’s awesome!” I am not surprised by this, as she is very open-minded and has been very supportive of the LGBTQ community for years. She had questions, but I felt more confident in being able to answer. Mostly she was happy for me, she wanted to see all my clothes, and she was genuinely excited for me and happy that I shared it with her.
She went into her closet and pulled out some things she didn’t wear, asking if I wanted to try them on. She gave me two tops, a pair of leggings, and a really nice dress that she commented looked really good on me. We talked for hours, and it was amazing. She is completely accepting and genuinely wants to be involved with Bethann as much as I wish her to be. She offered to help me do makeup but also encouraged me to go get a makeover and gather tips and makeup help from a professional.
She’s excited to help pick out clothes and accessories. I’m overwhelmed at how well this has transpired. We also talked about some of the deeper topics. Such as, what does it mean about my sexuality? And did I think about pursuing HRT or even going beyond to possibly transitioning? If I did, she would be okay with it and be 100% supportive, still wanting to remain my spouse. It was an amazing conversation.
Right now, I’m so happy. I’m not sure how to express it. I thought a few weeks ago when I went out in public dressed for the first time was an amazing day. This might have been even better. I am so excited to see what the future brings.
How best to put into words what being a part of the CDH family has meant to me over the last month. It’s because of all the wonderful girls here and their support! It’s not only with what I received but in all that I’ve noticed given to everyone else, that I have been able to progress on this journey! To everyone here at CDH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I am so looking forward to continuing my journey and remaining a part of this amazing family!
Wow! I can’t think of any way that could possibly have gone any better for you!! Congrats!
Thank you. You are absolutely correct it could not have gone any better. It has been really awesome since coming out to her.
Wow! I am so very happy for you. There must be a huge relief just getting out from under that secret.
glad to hear your wife took it well and is being supportive and encouraging not enough of ladies like that out there.
So wonderful that she accepts you for you.So happy for you.Enjoy your new found freedom!
I just love that you came out. Why hide the real you and never know the glow hat comes from being the real you.When I came out, i was nervous,scared and so relieved! Enjoy the new you my dear.
Great article. I am so happy for you. You are very lucky to have a accepting wife. It might be too soon for you to attend Keystone, but maybe ask your wife about it. Good luck.
Bethann, congratulations and I am very happy for you and that you have such an open and understanding spouse. Too bad all our spouses cannot find it in their hearts to accept us as we are.
what a great story of coming out to your wife and the support that she gives you.
So happy for you Bethann. As one who is also very fortunate to have an accepting and supportive spouse, it is a wonderful to be able to share fully in your experience.
I am so glad things have gone very well for you. You have described what so many here go through, though with a much happier ending. My own wife is higher supportive and we do out together, but she told me if I decided to actually transition she is not at all sure she could deal with that. For which I cannot fault her, as I’m not sure that is my path. I know some who have transitioned later in life (I’ve 68), but I feel if I was going to I should have done it earlier. I wish you… Read more »