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Crossdress to Blend In or Stand Out?

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(@cdh)
Famed Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 12 years ago
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Dear Readers,

I'm delighted today to share a guest article from a lovely lady on the East Coast. Her fabulous style is matched only by the charming and witty writing she does at SXYCDGRL. Please welcome her to Crossdresser Heaven, and share your thoughts in the comments below!

Do you dress to pass and blend?

Or do you dress to stick out ? What is your goal when you are crossdressing ?

[caption id="attachment_3143" align="aligncenter" width="339"]Adriana is confident out dressed Adriana is confident out dressed[/caption]

For me, I guess it is a little bit of both, it just depends on the occasion. Where am I going ? Is it out into the vanilla world ? Or am I going to a wild CD/TG party ?

If it is out into the "real world" I do my best to basically blend in, I take my cues from real women.  When out in public I feel the need to “represent” our community the best way that I can , so I dress accordingly & appropriate for the venue, weather, etc.  I keep it simple, like this picture taken on a trip up to Boston, just some leggings, a plain tee,  jacket & minimal accessories. I guess you could call that my “blend mode” When I am out dressed like this, I know I am not drawing any unwanted attention and I am confident. Dressing in what you “feel good” in seems to always win for me. If I’m not feeling right, it’s time for a wardrobe change.

[caption id="attachment_3142" align="aligncenter" width="400"]Adriana rocks the femme Adriana rocks the femme[/caption]

Sometimes though I really want to let my girl flag fly high, and I will have a little fun. Especially if I am headed to a big CD/TG event and I know the gals are going to be dressed for a good time.

Like this pic, taken at one of the big CD/TG Events in New Hope Pa called Raven. Here the gals throw an “Oscar Style”  red carpet party, some dress to the nines in gowns, yet others will come in almost full fetish gear. So to me this seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally wear that Tu Tu Skirt I bought. And it’s a CD/TG party so why not have fun with it right? I edged up the outfit with a bold colored moto jacket, and my favorite chunky heeled combat boots to give me a funky grunge look.  This is something I would never actually wear out in public, so sometimes at these events I like to push the envelope a bit. Am I belnding ?? Not at all. And there I guess it does not matter anyway, the point is to have fun at these events.

So in the end, I guess it depends on where you are going, and what you are doing. I cant tell you what to wear, but I can say that when you step out the front door, you are representing  me, you, and our entire community so do us all proud and leave the fishnets at home when your headed to the mall. When you go out in public do you dress to blend in ? Or stick out ?? Ad your comments to the comment section xoxo.

Adriana is a blogger for SXYCDGRL &  covers everything from makeup ,fashion & crossdressing tips, to crossdressing events & parties. You can see her features & articles on crossdressing here http://sexycrossdressergurl.blogspot.com/

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Crossdresser Heaven has an opening for guest authors. If you'd like to see your writing featured on Crossdresser Heaven please If you'd like to be a guest author on Crossdresser Heaven, please get in touch!

If you'd like to learn more about blending while crossdressing please read: How to Pass as a Woman in Public and 19 Tips for Passing in Public

Here are a few more pictures of the fabulous Adriana

[caption id="attachment_3144" align="alignnone" width="400"]A smile is worth 1000 Crossdressing Tutorials A smile is worth 1000 Crossdressing Tutorials[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_3146" align="alignnone" width="400"]Have Fun En Femme Have Fun En Femme[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_3145" align="alignnone" width="383"]Classy outfits are perfect for blending Classy outfits are perfect for blending[/caption]

 

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62 Replies
Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I dress to be the woman I know I want to be and whether I pass or not is not an issue I am comfortable and happy and to me that is all that matters. I dont dress to stand out but I do dress to look as femme as I can. I also dress depending on what the occasion is.

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1 Reply
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

Yup... I dress with class and taste. My wife insists on it. Lol presentation is more important to me than passing

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I dress to pass. Being a woman is being free for me. Forced to work as a guy is prison. Being rejected and made fun of by all of my relatives is hard. I have no friends or a girlfriend. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am in desperate need of rescuing.

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Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

I ment to live and work as a guy this is prison.

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Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

dear sister Stephanie I can under stand and we sisters are her for you it took me same time before I could even tell some of my FACE BOOK friends that I dress as a woman and now I have one of them calling me her sister so it may take some time for your family and friends to get use to be happy that at last you can come to a place like this and tell your story and that their are people like us sisters that under stand and love you for who you are a really beautiful and sexy woman

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

well when I dress as a woman I try to look like a lady with class but now i have been called a sister by one of my FACE BOOK friends and also have been invited to her wedding and i am going to be in her wedding as a brides maids and before that we are now planning a girls day out so right now i am really happy that i can dress and be a sister

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

i dress to pass, have the body figure like a woman, slim. i shave my face 2 times. legs i hide with cover nylons, put on eye shadow to the best i can 2 tone, classy dress, heels,boob inserts to give me the cleavage, wig, ear rings, necklace, lip stick, nail polish, perfume. would i pass out doors to others maybe and maybe not. never went out doors to see. but to me its all about being who i really should be female. i don't have the walk like 1 or the voice.

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

With me it depends on what I am going out to do and who I am with. I mostly dress conservative but tasteful.

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

When I dress I dress in a way that I like. I totally believe "if's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you aren't". This is who I am. A terrible mistake was made when I was born into male body because I am totally a woman inside! I am expected to fit in to this world as a male just because of my birth defect? Anyone who says "go with what you got" hasn't been short-changed like any of us. Anytime I fill out a survey online I choose female if asked about gender because damn it I am. When I hear a genetic woman complain about something about her life or body she doesn't like I think to my self "you don't know how lucky you are". Well I am digressing from the subject here but I am just saying what others here feel I hope.

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I don't expect to pass upon close scrutiny, but to a casual observer - well - maybe I pass. I am height/weight proportionate, wear nice clothes, have nicer legs than my wife (so she says), and do okay with hair and makeup. I've been going to a local Wall Mart en femme without getting a second look. Just this morning I was feeling sorta self confident so I wore a shorter than normal skirt. A store worker spotted me as I entered the store and sent an 'eye message' to a fellow worker, who passed it on, who passed it on..., I think the short skirt brought undue attention to myself then generated some closer scrutiny. Lesson learned. The irony to me is that I was dressed and made up nice but caused a stir, yet many others in the store look like slobs but do not raise an eyebrow.

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I always dress to pass. Love going out knowing that i can pass, and the women except me as one of them.

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Oh how I envy you girls that can pass. I enjoy your success stories. Unfortunately I am unable to pass due to my masculine features. How ever when I dress at home I feel inside like a beautiful woman. Luckily this is enough to tame my passion. Lot a love, Elle.

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Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

Elle,

You know there are biological women that have masculine features. That shouldn't stop you from doing what makes you happy. Women come in all shapes and sizes. Just like some t-girls might complain they are too tall. Most of the female models are 6' or taller. Also, work on your presence. Practice acting more feminine. You only have this one life. Cherrish it and make yourself happy and don't place restrictions on yourself!

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Duchess
(@bodycon-1)
Joined: 7 years ago

Trusted Member     New Orleans, LA, United States of America
Posts: 67

I agree like men, women come in all shapes and sizes. There girlie girls and manly girls or Tom girls. Same holds true for men. I think for a TAG or CD to blend in or pass it's all about your attitude and projection. Attitude is about your confidence and believing in your self. Projection is showing your confidence as a woman. Also be sure to not wear makeup that makes you look like a clown or drag queen. A little makeup goes a long way.

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Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

Message me anytime Elle if yoiu need to talk!

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I am a male to female pre-op transsexual so I always dress to blend in. Like any other girl, what I choose to wear depends on where I am going. There's daytime casual to night time formal and even and night I dress casual depending where I am going. All women are like that. I'm not going to dress to the nines just to go to the grocery store for an order. If I am going to a club at night, I wear something a little more dressed up. Now, I always wear makeup when I go somewhere. Not that I need to. It's because I want to and enjoy it. If I know I'm not going anywhere I usually don't wear any makeup. And when I'm going to a club, I usually wear my makeup a little differently. I may wear more glittery eyeshadow, or line my eyes a little thicker. I don't wear a wig. I have my own hair. I really don't like it though. My hair is naturally curly and fine. It's hard for me to work with it but I think I do ok. I do try to get my hair trimmed and styled regularly. People always see me as a female. They always use female pronouns. I also always wear nail polish. I guess I am a girly girl when I can afford to be lol. But as far as the clothes I choose to wear, again, I'm like any other woman. I dress according to wear I am going.

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1 Reply
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

Like that women and men dress the way they have to for the places they are going normal male or female ! Beautiful message

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I have been passing (I think) since I was 16. My initial goal was to walk out onto NYC's streets and be seen as just another girl going somewhere. Age-appropriateness has been a mantra. Never seek the spotlight -- that's for the celebs. Just be a plain girl next door . And it has worked wonderfully for more years than I like to think.
There have been many women in my life who have given me direction and help, and I doubt I would be where I am today without them. My style has always been directed towards looking like I belong. Having worked as a h.s. teacher, a librarian, and a college prof.,my style has always gotten the approval of my mentors and along with a little paranoia it has always worked.

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Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

Hey Joanne,

Sounds like you're doing it right! Thanks for sharing your inspiration with others, in particular I like your emphasis on getting help and direction from the woman in your life.

Hugs,
Vanessa

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I dress to pass I want to be accepted/recognised as female

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I dress to pass always at home and when I go out. I always try to blend in as a lady and 99% of the time no one gives me a second look. One time I went to a wig and make up store as a man and purchase a new wig and the girls at the store had a good laugh. I went back the next day dress all the way with my new wig on and no one notice the ladies at the store said hello ma'am can I help you!

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Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Joined: 9 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

What a wonderful experience Sara! Kudos to you for having the courage to go back!

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Posts: 9
Guest
(@Debra Anne xx)
Active Member
Joined: 9 years ago

I always dress to pass.
I go for the girl next door look and love to just blend in
So far I haven't been made and as long as I am being as feminine and not drawing attention to myself I haven't had any issues.
I try to be dressed like most of the women are dressed when I am out.
Usually I am wearing a skirt and turtle neck top with a pair of low heels
Other times I wear a pair of slimming jeans with a turtle neck top and a pair of sandals
As long as my makeup is looking right and my hair (Wig) looks like it is not a wig I feel quite confident about my look

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