I married a cross dresser

> Crossdressing often times slows down
> as one grows into their twenties

I wish someone had told me that when I was 22 🙂 Joking aside, I think (and to use a cliche) in my heart of hearts, I knew that I'd be back. So, thanks for sharing.

I met my future wife when we were both in our 20s. At that time I was - for want of a better word - 'clean' or 'straight'. I really thought I could stay on the wagon but much later on.... 'course we all know how that little tale ended. 🙂

It's a little over 10 years since I told her and H does her best to cope. I know she sometimes wishes I wasn't like this (so do I some days) but it's not the end of a marriage if you keep talking and comprimise is necessary. As someone once said, TG folk have had 10 - 20 years to get their heads around it, but wives and girlfriends? Only a fraction of that time.

Hehe 🙂 Yes. There's always that small hope we have out grown cross dressing.
I can relate to what you're saying - I think the thrill of going out with someone we'll grow to love makes us forget about cross dressing. Mis leading us into thinking that we're "cured".

You said it right - if you keep talking and compromise. I think because we're forced to do that with cross dressing, it may actually build a stronger marriage.

Thanks for you comments Lynn, I enjoy reading them!

Hugs,
Vanessa

I crossdress, it turns me on, but i hate myself for it

Well, I am in a difficult position, my Wife doesn't know yet and on the other side I'm afraid to tell Her because it seems to me that She wouldn't like the news. Of course, when I'm home alone I use Her's nylons and garters (which I bought for Her 'cos I told Her I like it madly - but I never told Her I like to wear it also 🙂 her shoes (with a little of pain because these are smaller) and I dream about She and I going out at the evening and me wearing her pantyhose under my trousers and only She and I would know it. This situation, I mean, only a thought about it turns me on. But I'm afraid it will never happen becuse I don't know how to tell Her.
HELP PLEASE!

Dear Vanessa
I am marry to a Crossdresser and this is very difficult for me to accept. He never told me he was a CD. Before we were married i found him one night dressed up and i was very confused and furious. I thought with time this would change.

I love him very much, but his CD takes over and he never knows when to stop. I am very tired that every night when i come home i find him on CD, i have told him many times that i wished that he would respect the fact that i am home and he would do this when he is on his own.

I am very confused because i feel humiliated but he doesn't seem to understand. His CD takes over and he makes it be more important than anything else.

I do not what to do. I know that every night he kills what is left of me and i am tired that i always get angry.

I need to know if i will ever learn to accept his CD.

I'm from India. I'm very young. 18 years and I find crossdressing very exciting and erotic.

Im scared that my boyfriend only wants me for the sex. He is a CDer and is vary turned on by it. I dont care about that, im just concerned that he just wants me because i accept him and want to have sex with him, not because of who I am. I dont know if that makes sense to anyone. Please, someone tell me im crazy.

I will admit there is a great deal of usful information here. My question is - what is a good compromise? For many CD's I know (myself included) what we want in some cases is to continue to dress in secret. If someone found out we would be so mortified that the thought would drive us insane. I am not a huge fan of Tri-Ess but I agree that if it is going to come down to the wife knowing - talk to a professional and more importantly to each other. You will learn a lot more about each other than you thought you might ever want to know.

Hi, I am new to this site, but am finding a lot of helpful posts and info, so thank you. I am a wife of a CD and have many questions that I hope to get some advice/answers about.

My husband told me before we got married, which I appreciate. We've been married for about three years,but together for about eight. It is still very difficult to see him dressed, but I do admit, that I enjoy his company and our conversations when he is dressed.
My concerns are: (1) recently, his need to CD has become more intense. He now has boobs, makeup, wigs, etc to be more and more 'female'. One of my biggest concerns is that I will wake up one day to realize that he actually wants to be a woman. I don't know if these 'additions' to be more feminine when CD'ed is an indication of that.

My biggest concern is the fact that he is sexually aroused when CD'ed and has begun to regularly have anal sex with himself. I have a hard time even writing that.... I don't understand how he could be straight (and apparently enjoy hetro sex), but still want to have anal sex with himself. What do you think? Also, he has recently acquired an entire collection of TS porn and seems to want to dress up and watch it.....

I don't want to lose him, but I also want him to live a life that he is destine to live. I feel like I might be holding him back.

Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I have no one to talk to, as no one knows except me. thank you.

My boyfriend just told me on Sunday that he is a crossdreser. He said he has been wanting to tell me for a while (we've been together 1.5 years) but didn't know how. I'm not freaked out or anything, should I be?

He and I don't tell each other we love one another because I can't stand the thought of telling him that I do and getting no response from him. Now that I know he is a crossdresser could this be part of the reason? He didn't want to get too close because we could've broken up when he told me?

He's told people (I think mostly women) and none of them reacted well. I may have been the first person that didn't freak out.

I feel closer to him now than I ever have before. I knew he wasn't telling me everything about himself and I felt that he would eventually tell me (and he did). He's been hurt in the past and he's also older than me so he's more set in his ways (I guess) and seems to have a harder time dealing with rejection (never mind that past girlfriends weren't supportive).

I want to ask him if he wants me to participate with him. I don't want him to think i'm mocking him but I wonder if a real life experience would be much more exciting?

Thank you for having this website. I think I may need to rad other people's stories and also need some support. Besides my boyfriend I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Thank you.

Hi, My hubby is a cder and I am so confused by this.I just don't get it.I feel like the guy here.when I go shopping for clothes he's always looking for him.When I put something nice on he dosen't say that looks good he looks at me and says I wish I could wear that. You know how that makes me feel, Like I'm not the woman here.what makes men do this?
Glinda

In my haste, I forgot to mark to email any comment or response. Please do, Thanks

Hello Ann,
I read your post and instantly felt a connection to you. Based on your posting, I think we might have similar concerns/worries. I posted my 'story' on April 23rd, if you want to read it. I understand how hard it must have been for you to find out. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, and thankfully, he told me before we married. I had a choice of whether or not to take the next step. There was a part of me that thought that I could change him, I guess.

My husband often tells me that he's 'done' - that he's going to throw away the clothes and not dress up any longer. At first, I thought this was great, but what I've realized is that, as hard as it is for me to understand and accept, it is a PART of him and to deny that part of him is to deny a part of who I feel in love with. I would guess that your husband has been crossdressing since he was a child or very young. It is part of who I fell in love with, even if I didn't know that about him.

I know that when my husband tries to deny himself of dressing, either one of two things happen: (1) he lies about it cover it up and thinks that he's not hurting me; or (2) the desire gets so intense that he has to dress and then it's for a longer period of time.

It's a really tough situation - more so than I ever thought. I don't know what to do most of the time. I worry about all sorts of things. I think the key is open communication and a willingness to stretch beyond your ideas of what a man/husband means. It defies gender lines and that makes it tough, among other reasons....

good luck - if you'd like to talk more, let me know.
cheers,

When I first realized that I wanted to crossdress in earnest, I had already been married 24yrs. When young, I would always go thru my mothers copy of 'Fredricks' and think " how nice many of those dresses were and wished I could wear some of them. But it wasnt till I turned 49 that I decide to Crossdress in earnest.
I was one of those men who would have like to but didn't because "Men are not suppose to wear womens clothing, if they do? something is wrong!" So I never said anything untill 24 years into marriage. when I finally did tell her, she asked me how far I waned to go with it? all of a sudden I felt like a kid in a candy store. It started out well. We went to wal-mart and I started picking things out to wear, slips, panties,skirts, etc. not considering how doing so might affect her and in the long run she ended up hating it. Remember. Your wife or girl frind wants to live her life with or around a man, not a women and when you tell her suddenly that "You want to Crossdress?" well, its quite a shock, both mentally and emotionally to them, especially after marriage (best to tell them before marriage if your sure thats what you are.) When I told my wife, I didnt do much research and especially on How to tell her and what to consider when I do. Remember! All kinds of things run through her mind. So research your feeling about crossdressing first then research what it might be like for her when you decide to tell her? Consider her feelings as well as your own. Then, if she is willing to let you have a go at it? Take it SLOW and COMMUNICATE with her every step of the way. Not doing so will extremely curtail your dressing, especially around her and even if she dosent totally accept it? At least she may let you go ahead and dress part time around her/house cause you took the time to consider her feelings about it and thats better than not being able to dress around her at all).