I had been watching a Sister who joined my Local Crossdresser Support Group (LCSG) nearly a year after I had joined. I have admired her courage and being brave and open telling her stories going out on her own with her wife. She is obvious if you interact with her that she is a crossdresser. She has fun with it, expresses herself and educates people one by one.  I personally had been very quiet and discreet trying to pass as a women around every corner and by the way very successfully.  I have gotten to the point of passing at will, however passing is again hiding me, it is going back into hiding like I was when I was just Manly.  After hearing her stories of being up front helped me feel braver to be me!  I am Meili and I cannot change it, as well I cannot change the world but I can help change people one by one.  Meili is OUT!  In this past year, Meili introduced herself to her two daughters, her son, mother, three brothers and their wives.  Meili came out to her ex-wife of 22 years because we felt she had a right to know.

For the past eight years, every Friday evening or Saturday afternoon, Manly went to the same Mexican restaurant.  It is almost exactly like Cheers, if you remember the sitcom, and I am one of the charters.  Over the past several months, I came out to most of my Cheers buddies allowing many of them to meet Meili. I have also told most of the staff who are like family to me.  This leads up to the moment, I recently threw a grenade!

I went to the restaurant the first time as Meili.  It was near closing time when I knew most patrons would be gone, especially those who knew me.  This was not easy.  Some did not recognize me, some did, some were laughing, and others were intrigued.  When I was exposed those that did know who I was, maybe I initially laughed.  Several younger men were questioning my sexual orientation; they came at me at all angles.  When the fragrance of the perfume wears off everything came back to normal.  By this time, many employees were standing around or sitting next to me, asking a lot of questions which I answered freely.  It was lovely.

Crossdresser Heaven - Find Your Tribe

When Meili walked into the restaurant the second time, it was much earlier in the day.  No one immediately recognized who I was as I sat down.  Many who knew Manly did not catch on until the manager who always takes care of me asked what I would like to drink and eat.  My Cheers friends could see I was somewhat nervous, and told me not worry and just to be me because they had my back.  Quietly, a friend put male patron at ease who was questioning him about me.  Another sitting next to me asked if I had a brother.  I said, yes I do, why.  That patron said I looked almost just like another patron he knew — well little did he know, it was me.

Meili recently visited the restaurant with my two beautiful daughters.  Again someone with whom I talk to often knew there was something peculiar, but could not connect the dots.  He was told later after I left that I was Manly, who is now Meili.  I now go there as Meili more and more often.  The staff has even mentioned that they like me visiting as Meili more so than when I did so as Manly.

Being able to be you comes down to you,the relationships you have with family, people in your community, and the support you gain from those relationships.  Today I enjoy all of that and so much more.  I have my family and their love. I have my lady friends who help with dressing and makeup and go shopping with me.  And I have the support of the strongest of men who definitely have my back.  When Meili introduced herself to everyone at Cheers in her own way, they all managed to accept Meili in their own way.  I am sure this is not the end, but rather a process which will just keep moving forward.

In the end, it came down to me being brave enough to accept me for being me.  I decided not to live in fear.  I have amazing experiences just being me which help others in accepting who we are, and in understanding more about the community of which I am a part.  I am Meili, I am free, and I am OUT!

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Hello, at this time I refer to myself as Meili, or you can just call me Mei (May). I am 52 years old and my journey is complex as I am sure it has been for many others in my heels. My crossdressing began at 4 or 5 years of age. I am now 52. My journey recently lead me to a Local Crossdresser Support Group (LCSG) early December 2015. I am feeling more complete as a person then I ever have with the help of LCSG and my Wife who is very supportive.

Latest posts by Meili (see all)

  1. Veronica Raines 9 months ago

    The one, and only time I came out, was when I was 15. However, all my life, people have mistaken me for a girl, at first. When I was in Asia, it happened more often, but it was mostly with the working girls. Many thought I was gay. When I got back to the states, I joined a club, that was into scene play. With what I had to go through in the Vietnam war, I was accepted as a master, but mostly took the role of Dungeon Master. It took several months, before many of the gay men, who wanted to be my slave, or submissive, understood, that I was not gay. I asked them, why they thought so, and most of them said, because you move and act like a girl at times. I questioned some of the women in the club, about this, and many of them said the same thing. I told the girls, that all my life, I wanted to be a girl, even though I like girls.

    Throughout the rest of my life, it has been the same. However, as I grew older, I started to really like women’s clothes. When I was married, and she wasn’t home, I would at times wear her clothes, but not the makeup. Well, anyway, what I’m building up to, is as some of you know, I haven’t been with CDH very long, and reading many of your stories, have sort of made me feel stronger. I’ve been buying clothes online, and going down to the mall, and buying clothes, and have been brave enough, even though I was scared to death, to tell the different women who waited on me, that the clothes were for me. All but one, was all for me. The one, wouldn’t wait on me. Her loss.

    Anyway, I sit around my apartment, wearing one bra, or another, with the forms in them. I wear panties, and negligees, and I feel super good. The other afternoon, I put a bra and panties on, and a dress over them. wore sandals, and went outside, to the apartment complex’s area where the mailboxes were. Two tours in nam, 35 years as a P.I., many times facing those who shot first, and ask question later, worked out just fine. But, those 100 feet, round trip to my mailbox, was the longest 100 feet, I’ve ever walked. But, I walked it, with my head up, and back straight, like a woman would. When I got back to my apartment, and closed the door, I stood there for a few seconds, then couldn’t help myself. I started jumping up and down, saying rather loud, “I did it. I did it, over and over.

  2. Justine Craig 1 year ago

    Soon my two sons will be moving on and i look forward to dressing at home. But, i have already started. I began buying female items of the rack. They can pass for either male or female. I often go out completely

  3. Steventreasure 1 year ago

    Wow incredibly exquisitely beautiful

  4. DAWN 459 1 year ago

    Glad you were able to come
    Out to your ex ,daughters.brothers,&sisters,
    Along with your friends at the
    Resteraunt. I AM.out to my
    Wife and one lady that used
    To work in a medical facility

  5. Fabulous article you. Though everyone I knew suspected and was even quite confident that I cross dressed and was gay I still made attempts to stay in that cold dark closet. And though it was very clear and obvious that I was because of how I dressed and my persona didn’t come right out and verbally shout it out. But when I did choose to tell on myself everybody told me they knew a long time before but waited to hear me say it out loud. Oh what relief it was and still is. I am quite proud of who I am and what I am.

    • Julie Carson 10 months ago

      And you have showed me how to be proud of me!

      Luv u sis,

      • Jackie Wild (Wild Child) 10 months ago

        That is such a sweet thing to tell me Julie thank you, your a doll. And don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Luv ya!

  6. My heart sings for you, dear. Veronica

  7. Angelika Beadreau 1 year ago

    I love this so much. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to do the same.

  8. Nadia Haas 1 year ago

    Just starting to crossdress.But I live in a small town where everybody knows everybody.I simply want to sit outside dressed.How do i do this so no one knows who I am

    • Nadia…hi! As the British said…..Damn the torpedoes…Full Steam Ahead….or as Nike says…Just do it!
      Put on a stiff upper lip and go out. Good luck…Victoria

    • Bronwyn 1 year ago

      Thats me too Nadia. I sit outback where i am not visible to anyone. Sometimes when it’s dark, i venture out my front door. Bronwyn

  9. Jill 1 year ago

    Very exciting, I just came out to my wife of 30yrs the other night and that was encouraging. Thank you

  10. Michelle 1 year ago

    What a lovely and inspiring story. I truly wish it could be that positive and successful for all of us. Speaking for myself, it wouldn’t have gone so smooth, especially with family. In any case, an excellent article.

  11. Pippi Long 1 year ago

    what beautiful story . I too have just recently stepped out of the closet ! My girlfriend and I have attended a couple of drag shows and I was brave enough to go in drag , but to my surprise. myself and the praformers were the only ones in drag ! lol but I enjoyed it nevertheless . freInd me please ! lots of luck

  12. Kelliann 1 year ago

    Very inspiring story….Thank You for giving me strength in my journey of Coming out of The closet to my Family and Life long friends first, Then the world……….Tired of wearing over sized man shirts to cover up my Padded Bras that I wear everywhere…LOL

  13. debbie 1 year ago

    Yes Melli thanks for sharing your story which definitely gives all of us a sigh of relief. Makes us feel proud now

  14. Jaime 1 year ago

    Thanks for sharing Melli. I’m so happy for you. What courage you have to do what you did. I wish I could be as strong as you.

    XXOO Jaime

  15. Codille Benton 1 year ago

    Melli, Glad you could stretch out and be yourself and then have the opportunity to go back to where now everybody knows your new name!!!!


  16. Lea 1 year ago

    Thanks Melli for sharing and giving so many of us hope that we too can be fully out and free one day, we just need to be confident!

  17. skippy1965(Cynthia) 1 year ago

    Melli-thanks for sharing and congrats on accepting yourself and then getting out to let the world share in your happiness!

  18. Amanda Patrick 1 year ago

    Wow Meili, Your bravery is incredible. You were able to overcome you fears. All the best going forward.

    Hugs, Amanda

  19. Krista 1 year ago

    Hi Meili, What a lovely story. Thank You so much for sharing.
    Your bravery is truly inspirational and courageous. Congratulations!
    I wish I lived somewhere with an LCSG. Crossdresser Heaven has become my support group. Hearing stories like yours certainly helps.
    All the very Best,
    Hugs, Krista

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