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    • #662235
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
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      My greatest fear is also that I would hurt of complicate loved ones lives. Personally I think at some level I would like to be completely outed. I seem to take way to many chances when dressed. Then there would be little to stop me from dressing whenever I felt like it. My wife children and grandchildren would spend much of their lives answering question about me or responding to rude comments.

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    • #661942
      Kim Dahlenbergen
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      Registered On: November 18, 2019
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      These days, my fear is a the slim prospect of a random act of violence.

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    • #661619
      Jackie Davis
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      Registered On: May 9, 2022
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      For me, I being confronted while dressed.l is a secondary concern. My worry is someone seeing me and saying nothing but starting a whisper campaign in which I would not only be outed, but embellished with whatever the whisperer wants to hurt me with.  The more allegedly prominent you are, the more prone you are to this insidious whisper attack.  That’s why I’ll be glad when I’m retired. At that point, who cares if a former so-and-so is a Crossdresser?

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    • #661555
      Jasmine
      Registered On: June 8, 2022
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      I guess for me one of my biggest fears I actually conquered years back I think I was about 17 or 18 and we have been living together for about 3 years and she already knew she found out so her birthday was coming up and she said she wanted to have a girls night in and I was like what is your birthday so what would you like and she told me she wanted me to be completely dressed and she was going to do my makeup and she also said she wanted me to also have forms. Now what now at this time I had not gotten any forms out of fear of having to go into the store to even get them but for her I would have done anything so I looked around to see where I can find to get them and there was a boutique in my town so I came up with a plan I would go in there and tell the owner that I was playing a practical joke and they weren’t for me. Needless to say that plan didn’t work out didn’t help that I was shaking so bad that I could barely even stand so she figured I was going on she was like no you need to get fitted and then we can go from there and I remember taking my shirt off and being mortified and she was like don’t worry it’s okay I have plenty of friends like you she made me feel realities I spent about 2 hours in there she got me fitted got me a bra got me everything I needed to make my girlfriend’s birthday special and to this day I’m still friends with the owner of that boutique so that took care of the fear of people finding out cuz up until then I was just run into the store see something grab it and run out.

      • #661985
        Jane Mansfield
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        Registered On: December 27, 2020
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        Goodmorning Jasmine, a resl snse of unease comes over us when we walk down our innate journey. For me it has always been.
        So Jasmine, I understand your fears, but thanks too a lovely lady at the boutique, you now realize that if we need help to become enfemme, we should ask.
        Spesk to the owner etc, and they will help.
        If not try elsewhere.
        Your date must have been sensational, congratulations. Now coffee sates, a weekend enfemme girls trip.
        I wish you every happiness.
        Jane

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        • #661995
          Jasmine
          Registered On: June 8, 2022
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          Thank you so much and it was definitely an exquisite evening we stayed up until the sun came up just talking laughing and just enjoying ourselves it was a once in a lifetime experience

    • #661535
      Davina
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
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      My biggest fear is hurting a loved one (my kids or grandkids). My wife knows, but she is the only one and has accepted it, although very reluctantly. The few times I have gone out in public, people have not given me any problems, although there have been stares. I don’t really care what the public thinks, I just don’t want to embarrass my family. I wish I was able to tell them all, but not there yet. I envy those on CDH who can freely go out as they desire. God bless you!

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    • #618963
      Terri
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      Registered On: May 17, 2016
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      I have been going out enfemme on and off over 40 yrs. I have had most of the experiences that some of you have feared. Each time everything worked out. One of my biggest fears is my children finding out, which is also my wife’s biggest fear. I am careful but I think if they found out I would tell them that I will always be their father and I will always be there for them. A few years ago I had planned to tell them all about Terri. It was the December before the pandemic. I couldn’t tell them. Im glad I didn’t because in these crazy times.

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    • #618910
      Michelle McQueen
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      Registered On: June 14, 2021
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      I don’t go out fully dressed very often but I do underdress daily in a sort of androgynous style which my wife knows and has said “Don’t embarrass me!” So far when I’ve gotten a negative reaction she hasn’t been with me.

      There certainly are some relatives and friends I wouldn’t want to run into when out so I keep my eyes peeled and if I see someone I go the opposite way or leave the store. Once I walked into a bank wearing a pink fem blouse, bra with small forms under a light jacket, panties of course, pantyhose under some fem jeans, and black flats with my hair in a ponytail. I was standing there behind a guy in line and suddenly realized the guy in front of me was a conservative friend I hadn’t seen since I let my hair grow out. I was shocked but luckily he hadn’t seen me so I turned and quickly walked out. If I had gone in a few minutes earlier he would have been behind me… close call.

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    • #618845
      Sofía Alejandra Hurtado Espinoza
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      Registered On: January 5, 2022
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      Hola, mi mayor miedo al travestirme era que me viera mi padre usando ropa de mujer y me paso cuando era adolescente, afortunadamente en ese momento pude justificarlo y no paso a mayores, pero si fue una experiencia sumamente angustiante; actualmente si me preocupa al salir que alguien se de cuenta que soy hombre y pueda terminar en una situacion vergonzosa, incluso hasta peligrosa, por eso trato de hacer mi mejor esfuerzo por pasar, aunque curiosamente cuando me relajo y no pienso en ello es cuando lo hago mejor.
      Saludos

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    • #618823
      Becka
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      Registered On: January 7, 2017
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      same here, running into someone I know. But I’m not full on dressed. Women’s pants, shoes, and underwear of course. Tights or some sort of hose. In the summertime I wear capri length pants.

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      • #618884
        Ginger Chasquear
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        Registered On: January 26, 2022
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        Or getting a flat tire

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    • #618804
      Amiliah Rougeheart
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      Registered On: October 29, 2021
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      For me there’s several things that cause me fear of being en femme in public, when I was about 17 I had a real unpleasant experience where I was outed, sexually harassed and publicly humiliated all at once, I fear the possibility of that happening again, however where that does intimidate me very much badly, now as a parent I fear ridicule, Embarrassment, bullying, and other forms of pain or strife for my family and loved ones, many of my friends have encouraged me to be myself regardless of what people may say, but my own family worries about being associated with this aspect of who I am, and do not condone my decisions to express my femininity, when I came out to them they told me I can do what I want to do but only when I’m at home, by myself, when no one was going to be home for several hours at a time and that all of my female related artifacts were to remain hidden in the back of the closet when not in use and to not post anything about it online, and that was unsettling to me because after telling me that they don’t approve of it, then that they are okay with me doing it in secret doesn’t feel validating of who I truly am.

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      • #618808
        Amiliah Rougeheart
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        Registered On: October 29, 2021
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        So naturally, I fear for my own well-being as to the safety and well-being of those I care about.

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        • #619118
          Cassie Jayson
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          Registered On: September 29, 2019
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          Amellia, you echo the concern of so many of us here. How it would effect family if close friends found out. I was kind of suprised when my daughter who is on the dadt group told the friend of her’s who used to babysit my granddaughter. That friend who was at my house was VERY confirming of my new identity, asking me my feminine name and asking my pronouns. My only problem with that was my 15 yo granddaughter was standing right there with her boyfriend. I know I don’t want to be cause of exstream embarassment for my granddaughter or my daughter.

          . ./.Cassie

    • #602735
      Jane Mansfield
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      Registered On: December 27, 2020
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      Yes, I agree my fear living i a small place is being recognized enfemme. Myfamily all know and have seen some of me dressed. When I have dressed in public, and just gone about my business, most people don’t care, as long as they are not impacted. Most women smile, look at your outfit, while men ignore you or stare.

      Jane

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    • #602462
      Sarah Kanter
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      Registered On: April 25, 2019
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      My worst fear isn’t really being caught by someone I know, who doesn’t already know. When I decided to go out dressed up, I also decided to own whatever consequences came of it. Having said that, I still worry about what might happen.

      My biggest fear is that dressing up might somehow harm people I care about or have responsibility for. I am in an influential position in my church and in my family. Personally, I don’t feel any contradiction or problem with the way I dress up. I’ve resolved the issue for myself in my own mind. I worry, however, that it will hurt people who trust me as a leader or mentor. I can handle being embarrassed or laughed at, but what I do affects other people in too, and I worry about that the most.

      • #602533
        Julie Shaw
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        Agreed, Sweetie.  Which is why I still haven’t shared Julie with my 19 year old son.

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    • #601847
      Mia Mor’e
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 27, 2021
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      I have two fears. First, being seen and outed by someone I know, which is a very real possibility.
      Second, being a victim of a hate crime, which is less likely, but still possible. For that reason I only go to CD/TS friendly places.

    • #594674
      Anonymous
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      My worst fear is of course somehow being identified (almost impossible, but still a fear) and / or being ridiculed.

      I just posted on another thread as I made my first nocturnal outdoor venture last night and overall, the experience was empowering, somewhat scary, but a huge ego boost too.

      The joy of being able to be seen, just as I feel inside when I’m padded, dressed, wigged and made-up was mind-blowing. I got some nice comments and several cheeky approaches/vulgarity – but that’s my bad for my choice of attire. Lesson learned and the black skin-tight pvc pants will not be on display again until NYE when I am planning my next outing. I figure most people will be party dressed so I wonlt be as stand-out.

      The thrill of being seen as a curvaceous female, wiggling my up and down the street in my heels, is as powerful a drug as you can get.

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    • #594258
      Michelle Pepper
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      Registered On: December 25, 2021
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      This is why I do not go out in public. It would create way too much drama. And would create a lot of personal anxiety. 3 years off of anxiety meds now. And don’t want to go back to la la land.

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    • #594146
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
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      I have faced many of the situations causing fear for others… many encounters with police, being patted down by security, who surely discovered the fact I was wearing a bra, speaking in public (even delivering a sermon once). All have proved to be positive experiences. I am almost disappointed if I DON’T have an encounter of some sort when going out, since it is encounters which lead to the most memorable, usually positive, experiences. The few times I have been clocked and felt there was an effort to let me know I was read were unpleasant but bearable. My greatest fear, I think, is causing a problem for someone with me who might face ridicule or criticism as a result of being seen with me or leading to recognition because those seeing her would expect me to be with her and see through my disguise. Being outed to one who is unaccepting and likely to relate the experience to others, particularly those who know and respect me and would think ill of me for dressing in public- especially business acquaintances who could cause embarrassment for me by relating the experience to others in a wide sphere, whose opinions of me would be negatively influenced as a result, would be unpleasant.

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    • #592846
      Zoe
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      Registered On: December 13, 2020
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      I have a lot of anxieties. Be singled out i front of a group terrfies me. I fear being centered out.

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    • #592661
      Jamie De’curry
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      Registered On: December 6, 2021
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      My biggest fear is failure. I know I am not passible. My family would not approve because of their reilgous views on the subject. Past that I don’t think I have the courage to go out in public. I did when I was way younger but, then I had a girlfriend that approved of me. She helped me out . My former wife though, did not approve and hurt my self estem a lot

       

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      • #592770
        Ilona
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        Registered On: November 14, 2016
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        Thanks, Jamie

        I feel that men should have the same clothing rights as women. I have had little reaction when I’ve been openly wearing a skirt and leggings while doing voluntary work.

        I don’t think I pass either, but I don’t think I should look like a woman any more than a woman should ‘look like a man’ when she wears trousers.

        I hope you have a lovely festive season

        Take care

        Ilona

        • #661532
          Davina
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          Ilona, thank you for saying that. I totally agree. People in Europe seem to be much more receptive to crossdressers than here in the U.S.. However, I notice that is changing, albeit way to slowly.

        • #592803
          Jamie De’curry
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          Registered On: December 6, 2021
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          I completely agree. What I wear doesn’t determine who I am any more than what a person eats doesn’t determine who they are. Sadly though, the world we live in is 100% about appearance. it is shoved in our faces from the time we are born to the time that we die. Models, “celebrities”, TV, and the internet all shove a doctrine into our faces and think that we have to abide by what they want us too. I don’t agree with any  of it. Again sadly that is why we are in the minority. Not enough people are waking up fast enough to change some of the things wrong. Glad I found this site where that does not happen. Hugz and love Girl.

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    • #592657
      Tabitha B.
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      Registered On: August 23, 2015
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      Hey Ilona,

      Saving the whole world is too big of a job for me. However, when I flounce around in my mini skirt and leggings, I am doing what I need to do to make myself happy, and save my sanity.

      I’m sorry that you lost a friend over an issue like this, and that she wasn’t apparently able to understand that one has to save herself first, before then reaching out to save others. And, that in an effort to save others, we have to respect what is most important to them.

      You keep going, girl!

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    • #592565
      Jamie Williams
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      Registered On: July 26, 2021
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      I have some close friends, and most of my family, who are very conservative. My biggest fear is their judgement.
      Everything else I can handle; the strange looks, the assumption that I’m gay, the snide comments…even judgement from acquaintances or neighbors. Those will happen no matter what I do or how I dress. But I’m not prepared to lose my family or my closest friends.

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      • #592611
        Ilona
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        Registered On: November 14, 2016
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        Thanks, Jamie

        I can understand how you feel.

        I came out to most people I know 2 years ago. Most didn’t have a problem, but one person rejected me, saying that she wanted to save the world, while I wanted to flounce around in frilly dresses. Another wanted me to return to be normal and said I was going through a phase; if so, it’s a long phase, lasting over 50 years. A neighbour said that residents had complained about a ‘man walking round in women’s clothing’ and said that he didn’t mind, but I should wear ‘men’s clothing’.

        I haven’t told my relatives. I wore leggings at a family party and the complaint was that I was wearing my gym kit. My stepfather is critical of men with long hair, never mind what they wear. I don’t think he’d accept me cross-dressing. I don’t know how other relatives would react. I don’t want to lose relatives.

        I tend to wear a skirt over my leggings and, while some people notice, I have fewer adverse comments than when I was openly wearing a dress and tights. I prefer to be safe.

        I have had various friends complaining about the coverage of trans issues, such as ‘ biological men’ entering ‘women’s’ toilets or changing rooms or being inmates in ‘women’s’ prisons. There seems to be little sympathy with cross-dressers being attacked in gents toilets.

        Good luck, Jamie

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    • #591819
      Ciao Topaz
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      Registered On: April 2, 2019
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      This was a glorious read, a tad long, but so encouraging for someone who is still afraid to go out in public. I see that I just need to take that first step …

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    • #591795
      Trish White
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 2, 2021
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      For me it was always being clocked. When I first started going out for a walk or shopping I was always very self conscious when men or women stared at me. Right away my first thought was always “shit, I’ve been made” but after awhile I realized that they weren’t staring because they new I was a boy but rather staring because they were checking me out. I was in a hotel lobby one time talking to another CD and this tall good looking man was just leaving the restaurant with his friend, looked straight at me, and said to his pal “She’s cute”. I can’t tell you how good that made me feel and how much of a boost my confidence got. I have never forgot that encounter.

      cheers,
      Trish

    • #591786
      Kitty James
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      Registered On: October 5, 2021
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      I would think my biggest fear would be my wife being recognized while she was out with me. When I venture out alone, not too many people I know would recognize me in passing. I think my ability to carry myself as a woman is pretty good; at least that’s what my wife says. She also tells me I look nothing like I look in ‘guy’ mode. I trust her judgement and have completely relied on her guidance. And most people won’t immediately put two and two together in a short split second passing on the street. They’re not looking for me in women’s clothes so they won’t immediately make the connection. At least that’s how I think. I could be delusional but I’m happy with it!
      As I said, my biggest fear would be someone recognizing her while we are out somewhere and thereby recognizing me. And the ensuing gossip amongst people who know us.
      I think the general public doesn’t care a lick, at least in the part of the country I come from, and I’m lucky for that.
      Happy Festivus all!

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      • #601822
        Isabelle
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        Registered On: March 29, 2017
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        … and I can fully see myself too in your message. My wife and I go out quite often, with me en femme and we have never yet run into anyone we know. Luckily for my wife rather than for me. Personally, meeting someone I know would almost be a relief for me as it would save me the bother of having to come out to them. If the truth be told, I have already caused such ‘chance’ encounters with a number of people, and there have been no issues to date. How we choose to dress really should not be an issue – it’s who we are that matters most.

        Hugs to all the readers xxx

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      • #592769
        Mandy Wife
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        Registered On: September 12, 2019
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        Thank you for that insight. I dont think I ever really thought about me being recognised would cause stress / fear with Penny.

        I have quite a few local customers who I do bump into for a passing “hi” or nod as we walk past and whilst most haven’t met my hubby some of them have.  I always thought my being with Penny made it easier for her, and I think it does, and we haven’t ventured out to the very local shops as she is not comfortable with that, yet, but it does add another dimension to it.

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      • #591810
        Dee Nash
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        Registered On: November 7, 2021
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        kitty, thats exactly the same as me almost word for word,xxxx

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    • #591753
      Anonymous
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      Having to return!!!
      Am going to make each opportunity special and indulge in some little self saying “ Well Done. Here’s to the next time”

      Anya hugs to you and all your family this Christmas.

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    • #591737
      Lacy Satin
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      Registered On: June 27, 2018
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      Like most of us, it would be running into someone I know.

      It happened to me the first time I went out in public.  I was testing the waters and looking for a safe place to go. I went to a gay bar that I felt would accept gurls like me.  I did nothing as far as make-up or trying to pass as a female. I did dress in feminine clothing though. I wore a lace top blouse, women’s slacks, and 3″ heels. nothing over the top on this first time out.

      I was walking through the bar when I was shocked to here someone call me by name. I of course ignored it. Then this person walked up to me and questioned me if I was who he thought I was. I of course denied it. and he persisted I was who he thought I was. I continued to say I have no idea who you are talking about. I then proceeded to exit the bar as quickly as I could.

      This person who recognized me was a gay person I had worked with in the past. Thankfully he knew none of my present-day friends.

      Another time I went thrift store shopping wearing a shirt that you could see my bra through if you looked close enough. I was also wearing a pair of women’s slacks and a pair of flats.

      As I was walking into the store, I was horrified to see my wife and daughter walking out. Actually I didn’t see them, they saw me, and shouted to me. Thankfully I was far enough away that she could not see what I was wearing.  I pretended I didn’t hear her and continued to quickly walk into the store in hopes of getting lost in the crowd so if my wife and daughter came back in they wouldn’t find me.

      My wife knows all about my crossdressing and she knew what I was going shopping for. What she didn’t know was that I liked to dress when I go shopping. Also my daughter knew nothing about my hobby. If she would have gotten close she would have seen what I was wearing and most of all she would have been upset that I was letting my bra show.

      I had a change of clothes with me and changed before I got home. My wife only said to me, “Why did you run away?”  I told her I didn’t hear her and that was the end of it.

      Being seen by someone you know is always my biggest fear and I have been caught many times but that will never stop me from doing something I enjoy so much.

    • #590959
      Liara Wolfe
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      Registered On: August 14, 2021
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      I have never liked being in the spot light for any reason. Growing up and to this day if I receive any kind of recognition publicly, I get embarrassed. So being vocally outed would be very fearful for me.

      Hugs, Liara

      • #591752
        Barb Wire
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        Registered On: September 16, 2021
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        Hi Liara!

        I was like that too most of my life. I froze whenever more than one person looked at me.

        Then… can’t explain it…, but one day I just said, “F-it!”, and kicked the door down! Now I can speak in front of large gatherings and have fun with it! But NOT fully dressed. That’s a whole new level of confidence. I hope to open the drapes on that one day! (Actually, I did recently! Got some claps and whistles too! Oops! LOL! .)

        Love, Barb 🙂

         

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    • #590925
      Laura Lovett
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      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      I noticed that I gave some (hopefully) encouraging responses, but haven’t replied to the question as posted:

      My biggest fear, going out en femme, is that no-one will talk to me and I will spend my entire outing alone.

      I love talking with people, which is the polar opposite of my male side, who lacks self confidence in a very big way – although much less so, having had multiple opportunities to express the feminine side.

      CDing “in public” has been a total revelation to me – like looking at my self in a mirror, and finding that, although there are dark, horrible bits, there’s a lot of light too – and, while en femme, I am at total liberty to express and be that lighter side, even if only for a day or 2.

      It is quite literally liberating – a kind of unshackling.

      But it does take some validation from others – and I find it hard to shake off the almost uncertainty that no-one wants to even look at a 6′ 4″ guy in a dress.

      Luckily, every outing has provided dozens of people who want to congratulate me and make me feel good about myself.

      I just love people!!!

      Love Laura

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    • #590914
      Catherine Dickson
      Lady
      Registered On: January 22, 2020
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      Topics like this come up pretty often and they all make me wonder about how many crossdressers are actually wandering around out and about. In all my 57 years I cannot recall ever seeing a person dressed like the beauties I see photos of on CDH and other sites. I am really hoping to see someone who I feel pretty sure is a crossdresser. I look forward to striking up a conversation and complementing her. I would love to tell them how courageous they seem and how I admire them. I just don’t ever see them…

      Puzzled,
      Catherine

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      • #591750
        Barb Wire
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: September 16, 2021
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        Good point, Catherine!

        In all my near 60 years, and to the best of my ability to notice, I’ve only met 2.

        I was introduced to a transgendered woman in 1995 and she was lovely! I worked with her SO.

        And the only other noticeable CD/trans person I’ve ever noticed was a very timid lady working in a book store. Once she realized I really was interested in the topic I was investigating, the ice between us melted and we had a nice chat about anything but crossdressing. I hope I left her with the impression that us big dudes are OK too.

        Hugs, Barb 🙂

         

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      • #590926
        Laura Lovett
        Lady
        Registered On: March 26, 2020
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        That would be me, honey!!!

        I see (and meet) CDs almost everywhere I go – not many, admittedly, but they’re out there.

        You just need to go to the right places, or be that person. A CD is more likely to make themselves known to a sister!

        Love Laura

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    • #590889
      Amanda Woods
      Lady
      Registered On: November 26, 2019
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      I feel same as you Vanessa, boy i would love to go out every day as Amanda,but always worried someone i know will recognize me. Just something i need to ge over, have a great day and Happy Holidays.

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    • #590868
      Stephaniewy
      Lady
      Registered On: September 24, 2021
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      lots of fears in wyoming, not the friendliest place for us girls

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    • #590842
      Lynda Jones
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 1, 2021
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      Wanting to fix breakfast I found out no eggs, not wanting to change out of my spanx camo leggings and leopard print top, i added a shirt over the top and hiking boots. Off to the market was planning to dash in and out. Once in the store I figured out NO one was paying any attention to me, felt great to take my time. To top if off I am checking out some one say hello sweetie it’s my WIFE, I wear the leggings all the time around the house she thinks nothing of them. Now that I feel comfortable going out in leggings can’t wait for next trip.

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      • #591758
        Lynda Jones
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: September 1, 2021
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        Out in my Camo Leggings again, took my wife to work today wearing leggings and short jacket, one of the few things I wear around the house when she is home. On the way home the urge over took me and a stop at the Market was in order. Once again several employees said good morning no one gives a D#$m just smile and carrie on.
        PS I live in the RED neck state of Tennessee

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    • #590833
      Nicole St James
      Lady
      Registered On: September 21, 2021
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      It took a long time to get the nerve to to out dressed. I quickly discovered that even without makeup on most people don’t notice and the rest don’t care. Unless of course you are dressed like Alice in Wonderland but that is another story.

      I was stopped twice by Police and they did not even mention how I was dressed.

      Live your life girls

      Nicole

      • #591739
        Nicole St James
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        Registered On: September 21, 2021
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        I should have added that there was fear and it was of being ridiculed.  That has never happened.  There have been some stares and some pics taken but overall it has been very positive.  Start small with just one piece of female outer clothing and see if anyone notices.  They probably won’t and you should not even care.  The journey is worth it no matter when you start.

         

        Nicole

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    • #519386
      Revel
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 5, 2020
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      My worst fear going out in public isn’t just being recognized by people that I know, but after being recognized, the gossip starting. Sadly, cross-dressing is misunderstood in our society, and I don’t want to take the risk, and have ugly gossip around town starting about me. Cross-dressing is beautiful, but gossip can be very ugly. However, I do admire the brave and beautiful sisters that venture out.

      XOXO Rev

      • #590870
        Anonymous
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        Not happening!  I’m pretty distinctive – a couple of villagers call me “big guy”. If I ventured out en femme I’d be made in seconds. And the gossip would spread like wildfire. I wouldn’t subject my (non supportive) wife to that.

        I really envy those among you who are petite and naturally pretty. I ain’t either.

         

        Connie

        xxx

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    • #473518
      Cindi Calloway
      Lady
      Registered On: April 4, 2021
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      Breaking down in my car. I’d hate to have a break down, while being in full fem.

      I had something like that happen.  I couldn’t make it up an icy hill and my car slid in a ditch.  My poor car was soooo stuck.  I tried to get it out, but it wouldn’t budge.  The tire just spun.  I had on a dress and high heel boots.  Was a little scary.

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    • #469709
      Anonymous
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      My biggest fear when I go out is people looking at me and automatically pegging me as a crossdresser. Like just knowing that Im a man dresses as a woman. With the idea of judgement from everyone around me.

      But the more I go out and when I get out I realized that nobody really cares. Nobody really pays attention to those around them. I tend to blend in fairly well. I guess it just my natural insecurities as a crossdresser where I still see my male self from time to time and assume people around me can see him too.

    • #464228
      Vecca Senn
      Lady
      Registered On: February 22, 2021
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      My fear used to be getting caught, but girlfriends before I got married and now my wife showed me that honesty or at least not hiding was the best way to go with a SO. After that, it was being caught by a male co-worker or friend. While that is still true, the bigger fear is being told I look ridiculous. If I were caught but complemented it would be exhilarating!

    • #464176
      Sandy Honey
      Lady
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
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      Guess mine is having a wreck and getting hurt in the wreck. I go out all the time so it’s no big deal. I’m careful where I go. I try to not go to redneck places if possible. The only time someone wondered if I was a guy was at a Walmart. It was a redneck couple and as I walked out she said I think that’s a guy and he said if it is he’s got nice legs. They didn’t confront me but just made that stupid remark. Almost ran into my ex once but I saw her before she saw me…glad I missed that encounter because she is a big time bigot now. I don’t go to bars in my area because being around drunks a happy time can become a dangerous situation at the drop of a skirt. Any fears I manage and try to not let them get the best of me enjoying my life and how happy Sandy makes me.

      Hugs,

      Sandy

    • #464175
      Angela Crosse
      Lady
      Registered On: December 14, 2020
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      Hi Vanessa and all the lovely ladies, biggest fear, seeing someone i know,plus, being 6foot in stocking feet i always feel that people are looking at me more as i feel as if i stand out from the crowd, but the thrill of being out enfem drive’s me on! Any thoughts, especially from you taller girls very welcome xxx

      • #464191
        Laura Lovett
        Lady
        Registered On: March 26, 2020
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        I’m 6′ 4″, and take the attitude: If you’re going to stand out, be outstanding.

        Not sure I have achieved that yet, but I always give it my best shot, with attention to detail in my look, actions, voice to some extent – you know, maximise the femme appearance and personality without fully trying to pretend you’re anything other than a man dressed up.

        People get that, and as long as you’re enjoying it and visibly having fun, few will grumble!

        Love Laura

        • #591781
          Kitty James
          Lady
          Registered On: October 5, 2021
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          THAT is the attitude to have!

          No truer words have been spoken.

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        • #590898
          Catherine Dickson
          Lady
          Registered On: January 22, 2020
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          I love that comment “if you’re going to stand out, be outstanding!” I’m 6’6″ and do not have freedom to dress outwardly even at home, let alone out in public. I do dream of that though, and I feel like I would try to keep that attitude. There’s nothing I can do about my height, so I’m better off just enjoying it and even emphasizing it. I very much want to try wearing high heels, so I will be pushing 7 feet. That will definitely get me noticed! I have been admiring Erika Ervin and hope to try to emulate an older version of her if I ever get the opportunity to dress the way I ultimately want to.

          Yay for tall girls!
          Catherine

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        • #464546
          Anonymous
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          “If you’re going to stand out, be outstanding!”:  can anyone come up with a better view thatn that?  NO!!!  My new raison d’etre!  Thank you – Inga.

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        • #464541
          Angela Crosse
          Lady
          Registered On: December 14, 2020
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          Hi Laura, thank you for your comments regarding out and about enfem, they will be useful to get my mindset in a better place for confidence levels. Much appreciated love xxx

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    • #446100
      Prudence
      Ambassador
      Registered On: January 7, 2020
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      Hi Vanessa! Being seen out shopping by a friend. I was in a payless store when a friend came in with her boyfriend and another women. They didnt really pay attention, and I snuck out. That was 30 years ago. Today I would probably go and say hi.   Hugs!

    • #446082
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
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      I  had to think about this for a while.  Yes, I tend to fear a lot of what has already been related – being outed, being derided, being attacked.  I don’t know if there is a rise in incidents of innocent people being attacked because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if it’s all the media coverage that hammers things like that home on an almost daily basis.

      It seems now that too many people , glancing out a window or down a street, or wherever in their personal neighborhood, and seeing someone they don’t immediately know (and have a good feeling about !!!!) either decide to take action into their own hands and attack the stranger, or immediately call authorities who then come and because you’re not looking like they think you should, you are questioned in a manner that suggests they already think you’re guilty of something or other. Thanks, but I don’t need that in addition to all the problems I face as a ‘normal’ looking person. It’s a shame we have to be concerned like that, but until we’re no longer considered ‘different’, things like that can happen.

      Yes, I do realize that it’s something that probably seldom happens, but it only has to be once.

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      • #446095
        Paula F
        Duchess
        Registered On: August 7, 2019
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        Chloe, I for one believe that the actual numbers of both physical and sexual assaults are actually lowering in most places.  It does seem like that it is actually rising, but one factor in that growth, is that more of us are coming forward to law enforcement than there was when I was coming out in the late 70’s and early 80’s.  Back then, no one really kept stats on crime against our community, unless the victim was very severely injured or worse.  We, as group, tended to retreat back into our safe zones and hid.  I was one of those who reported the first incidence of violence against me, to be met with suspicion and recrimination about my life style, even being told once that is WAS my fault for being where I was and how I was dressed.  So, I retreated.  But that did not stop it from happening again down the line.

        Back then, the ‘stories’ were only half believed or consciously ignored by the media AND the general public, just given passing lip service by those who could have started something positive getting created.  It took almost another 20 years before things began to change.

        Life ‘outside’ has definitely improved almost exponentially and there has been a definite decline in the incidents, but the reporting has increased  at the same time, making it seem more risky.

        Go out, be yourself, have fun and enjoy your life.  With fewer places or people tolerating or ignoring the violence (from simple name calling to physical incidents), we are much safer today than ever before.  In caution, DO NOT let your guard down, but also DO NOT let unseen fears control you.

        PaulaF

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    • #446079
      Elise Sydney
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 9, 2021
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      Vanessa:  I, as well, fear running into someone I know, mostly my nebby neighbors.  But if I do, I can easily ask what THEY’RE doing at an LGBTQ establishment or who THEY’RE with – my money’s on crickets 😉 🙂

      Love the site!  Love all the girls!

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    • #445960
      Anonymous
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      No fears, really; I won’t go out Dressed where I’m likely to be accosted or ridiculed, and the only other thing – more inconvenience than fear – would be getting involved in a traffic accident while Dressed.

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      • #446096
        Prudence
        Ambassador
        Registered On: January 7, 2020
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        Hi Bettylou. I was, it was minor. And the police didnt come. But it was embarrassing.   lol  Hugs

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    • #445212
      Marcellette Laval
      Lady
      Registered On: February 1, 2021
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      I’m closeted, only my wife knows that I crossdress. Going out in public, as rewarding and exhilarating as I believe it would be, also feels like a huge risk that my crossdressing would be discovered by someone else.
      I’m OK if it is a total stranger with no connection to my circle of family and friends (this actually happened to me for the first time on Saturday), but if my family ever found out…….my worst fear is that it would forever change how the people I love feel about me. I care what my family thinks about me – I want (need) them to be comfortable around me and deep down I want them to be proud of me. I believe (rightly or wrongly) that this would change for some of them if they found out that I was a crossdresser.
      A very close second is that I’m afraid that, in the moment of ‘crisis’ that would accompany an exposure, I would not have the emotional strength, composure, and acumen to be able to positively represent our Community – and that would crush me.

      I read something profound once that went something like “…we think we see the world as it is, when in fact we see it as we are.

      Where I ‘am,’ and I’m feeling quite vulnerable admitting this publicly (so please be gentle with me) is a place where in the outside world – I’m not (yet) really emotionally secure about my crossdressing. Because if I were, then I don’t think I’d possess the degree of fear that I do.

      In here (CDH) it’s different. It’s universally accepting and loving, a form of heaven indeed. In here I’m so very proud to be one of you, one of us, and to share openly with you the things like this that I’ve shared with no one else! Out there, if I’m brutally honest with myself and with you, I’m petrified. If my worst fear was realized, someone spotted my out at the mall fully dressed and femme, and they recognized me, and they confronted me (positively, neutrally, or negatively) – I would want to be a good example, able to react and respond in a way that would represent me and the crossdressing Community in a positive, proud, and friendly way. My fear is that I wouldn’t be able to do it, and I’d either curl into a ball or lash out – neither of which would advance a positive impression.

      So sorry about the length of this Vanessa! If anything, please take it as a sign that your vision for CDH has been achieved – I’ve only been here for a week and you all have me spilling my deepest fears already!

      Reading the other responses to this thread has been both comforting and inspiring!

      Marcellette

      • #445975
        April (Pacific Princess)
        Ambassador - Editor
        Registered On: April 4, 2016
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        Marcellette,

        I empathize hon.  I was petrified to go out for most of my adult life.  We all come to acceptance of ourselves, and what others think of us, at varying times in our lives.  For me it was in my late 50s.  One of the (few) perks of getting old.  Now I no longer fear what anyone thinks, and although I am careful where I go out I don’t worry about my neighbors or friends (although I don’t go out of my way to inform friends I think may not be accepting).  But in any case it needs to be at your own pace.  Never feel pressured to “come out”.  It really is a personal journey.  Just enjoy being “you” when you feel safe and right doing so.

        Hugs, April

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        • #446208
          Marcellette Laval
          Lady
          Registered On: February 1, 2021
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          April,

          Thank you so much!  I can’t fully describe the comfort that your reply has given me!  Before joining CDH I was very alone with my thoughts and fears about my crossdressing.  Taking the step to make myself vulnerable, and share openly, in here has been absolutely cathartic – and I’ve only been in here for a week, so what might the future hold!

          I’ll never be able to sufficiently express my appreciation to you any everyone else in here who make this place such a respite where we can feel so loved, UNDERSTOOD, and accepted that we’re able to bolster and develop ourselves in a healthy way, and to recover from the wounds the world (and sometimes ourselves) have inflicted upon us.

          I love you gals, and I love it in here!

          Marcellette

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      • #445952
        Clara Cross
        Lady
        Registered On: December 7, 2020
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        What a wonderfully thoughtful response Marcellette. I have no doubt you would represent quite well.

        Best to you Dear,
        Clara

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #446213
          Marcellette Laval
          Lady
          Registered On: February 1, 2021
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          Clara,

          Thanks for listening, and thank you for the vote of confidence!  I will strive to live up to it – I promise!  Learning from, and being so supported by, people like you is what will make me able to become a good representative for all of us.  I just have to not be so afraid to do my part….and all of you are very much helping me with that.  Thanks again luv!

          Marcellette

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    • #445174
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
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      Darling Vanessa…

      Oh, dear… having to go to the toilet! Where do I go? I know to go to the ‘ladies’ but what if my ingrained reflex is to go ‘men’?

      Love Polly

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    • #445142
      Andria
      Lady
      Registered On: November 9, 2020
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      My greatest fear was when I told my wife and she acted like it didn’t make any difference that I would still be the person she wanted me to be. I tried tell one of my daughters but she doesn’t want to believe it or talk about it. So I guess my greatest fear is busting everyone’s bubbles and doing it.

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      • #445185
        Ilona
        Lady
        Registered On: November 14, 2016
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        This is such a difficult issue, Andria

        There are few unisex toilets in the UK. I have heard of transwomen getting abused if they enter male or female toilets. I prefer using disabled toilets. I have a disability and I am pleased that some toilets have notices stating that not all disabilities are visible.

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    • #415362
      Carla
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2016
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      We always fear the worst when encountering such big decisions. My biggest fear is having some drunk or idiot making fun and making a scene. I also have a fear of being challenged going to the ladies toilet. It raises the question of why I even want to go out of the family home while I am quite happy dressing at home on a part time basis. The truth is, it’s because I want to feel free and justified in my choice of clothing that makes me feel happy. I would like to try new experiences even though I’m an introvert. I’m afraid of going out but when I venture outside and can be seen from the road I do get a high. I think going with another cross dresser like myself and maybe our partners would help.

    • #405288
      Ilona
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2016
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      I am afraid of being seen by anyone I know.  Some won’t accept, some will make fun of me, and others will shoot their mouth off at work.

      I am not passable, right now, and need to work on my self image, of my weight.  So, the weight comments will also hurt.

      I think there is a basic human rights issue here. Women don’t have to pose as men if they wear trousers. Why should a man be ‘passable’ if he wears a skirt or a dress? You should be able to wear what you like, without being judged. Unfortunately, there are a lot of prudish people out there. They may complain about sexism and/or racism, but may still criticise cross-dressers. It’s wrong

    • #405284
      Ilona
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2016
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      Hello, Frankie

      I had a long-term friend who shouted at me after I told her that I’m a cross-dresser. It told her that I didn’t have to put up with this and ended the call. An assertiveness teacher told me that I had done the right thing.

      People who don’t want to know the real you are perhaps people who aren’t true friends

    • #405187
      Anonymous
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      My fear is the same as you pointed out. The fear of someone knowing the real me and not understanding.

    • #404368
      Bekkie-Renee Avenddare
      Lady
      Registered On: November 8, 2020
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      I am afraid of being seen by anyone I know.  Some won’t accept, some will make fun of me, and others will shoot their mouth off at work.

      I am not passable, right now, and need to work on my self image, of my weight.  So, the weight comments will also hurt.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #399937
      Peta Mari
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
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      Breaking down in my car. I’d hate to have a break down, while being in full fem.

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      • #400180
        Terri
        Duchess
        Registered On: May 17, 2016
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        I broke down once and also had a accident while in enfemme. I also was stopped by the police once and also have gone through some checkpoints. All went well in all those situations. Sometimes you just have to relax and be prepared.

    • #399749
      Isabelle
      Lady
      Registered On: March 29, 2017
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      Hello everyone

      I think I can subscribe to the views that basically, as long as I bother no-one, and simply conduct myself as any everyday woman would, then no-one really even blinks an eyelid. I find also in the advancing years that I (we probably) tend to dress more conservatively and therefore blend in. Going down to the street market just today was another everyday event where all the vendors on the stalls call out “bonjour Madame” when I stop to buy anything from them (fruit, veg, cheese, …). It is so fulfilling ! Happily perhaps I do live in continental Europe (France) where we do experience very little antipathy towards the non-binary male-female community, if indeed any at all.

      My only concession to life as a woman on a semi-permanent basis is that where we live, I do not wish for wife to have to suffer any possible risk of stigmatism. As a result, and out of respect for the love of my life, we have the good fortune to own a small secondary residence/flatlet where Isabelle can thrive and live as she pleases. All my neighbours know only Isabelle and not the man ‘underneath’, even if they fully realise there is one there somewhere !

      Keep well ladies

      Isabelle

    • #396029
      Sazza Symons
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
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      I personally have no fear any more. My first attempts at going out were pretty bad. I did look like a man horribly dressed up as a woman. That was 14 years ago. I know that because I’ve seen photos of myself and I shudder.

       

      I’ve been going out quite a bit in the last 4 years and my look has got better with each passing year. I’ve also lost weight too which helps. I’m only 5 feet 8 so I think I can pass. But at the end of the day, I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m a man in a dress. That’s doesn’t bother me. THAT said, I do my best to merge in with the crowd. And look good. But never tarty.

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    • #395578
      Laura Lovett
      Lady
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      i think you think the worst of people. i can tell you when im in guy mode no one give a rats ass about me. no one will come up to me and talk to me. i get in girl mode and people come out of the wood work to talk to me. people i dont even know. guys give me high fives. girls come up to me and talk to me. they want to shake my hand. i prefected the hug move so i get lots of hugs. people want you to know they are find with what your doing. they probably wish they could do it too. i had a guy come up to me and thanked me for what i was doing. he said his son just came out. he probably never noticed anyone like me before. now he knows his son is not along out there by himself. there are lots of people still hiding. probably someone you know, they just dont want to let their secret out yet.

      Exactly this!

      This is how I experience the world en femme.

      People treat you like some kind of celebrity.

      Not everyone – there are idiots too.

      I hate COVID-19 – it’s hugely reduced my hugs!

      While the fear of stupid violent people is real, for a gregarious and careful cross dresser, it shouldn’t be an issue.

      Choose venues carefully, start off by going to places where you know you’ll be accepted and build up friend networks.

      It’s surprisingly easy to do, as people who are supportive of cross dressing are often from difficult backgrounds too. The mutual support is priceless – give a lot, take only what’s given freely.

      Love Laura

    • #395305
      Jenny Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
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      So at my work there’s a large and outspoken pro-trans group. They have done nice so far by pushing for trans acceptance in the work place. I have talked to them as I work with a few of them in day-to-day stuff, this leads me into the two problems. 1) they have already stated they have no qualms about raising a big enough fuss to get someone fired from a job if they dislike them or what they stand for and 2) one or two of them have also expressed a disdain for CDs and the like, they think they are ‘mocking transwomen’.

      As a result I have a strong and not necessarily unfounded fear that coming out and being found out would possibly lead to me being fired and such.

    • #395288
      Ilona
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2016
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      Hello, Abby

      I hope you gradually feel better about yourself.

      I don’t know if this will help, but I recently read about someone who came out at work and was ridiculed by colleagues for ‘wearing women’s clothes). The person went to court and received £140,000 for being discriminated against.

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    • #395285
      Anonymous
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      i think you think the worst of people. i can tell you when im in guy mode no one give a rats ass about me. no one will come up to me and talk to me. i get in girl mode and people come out of the wood work to talk to me. people i dont even know. guys give me high fives. girls come up to me and talk to me. they want to shake my hand. i prefected the hug move so i get lots of hugs. people want you to know they are find with what your doing. they probably wish they could do it too. i had a guy come up to me and thanked me for what i was doing. he said his son just came out. he probably never noticed anyone like me before. now he knows his son is not along out there by himself. there are lots of people still hiding. probably someone you know, they just dont want to let their secret out yet.

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    • #395221
      Abby M
      Lady
      Registered On: October 7, 2020
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      I guess my primary fears are mostly about those closest to me rejecting me and then not having a support network to lean on. I feel that potentially losing those I love and becoming isolated would further drive me into depression and dreg up past feelings of suicidal ideation. However, as it happens, being in a sense closeted is just as isolating. Another potential factor is retribution at work. I feel like even though there are laws in place to protect the rights of people, harassment still takes place in the office. I often feel that when people introduce themselves, they pretty much say where and what they went to school for or they say their job title and where they work. Opening yourself up to this type of negative behavior at work seems like it could further lead to the loss of a portion of your identity. If the job is toxic though, I guess it is not worth having. I have never really been afraid of physical attacks, I’m 6’4″ maybe 5″ tall. I usually have a serious demeanor that is mistaken for resting bitch face. People usually give me a wide berth. However, dressing in public could take away this perceived menace and led to assault. People mock what they don’t understand and feel the need to prove themselves by causing pain to others. It seems that no matter how I look at it, it is like the Yin-Yang symbol; there is good in bad and bad in good. While being open about my lifestyle could have huge drawbacks, it would definitely free me of negative influences and potentially find people who are more accepting. On the other hand, being open about who I am could lead small minded individuals to harm myself and people I’m with. A real catch-22.

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    • #394701
      Daisy Marie
      Lady
      Registered On: September 27, 2019
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      This topic made me reflect about my inner fears and how jeopardising they have been. Definitively they explain why I feel I’m evolving in baby steps.

      The first group of fears is linked to eviction or losing any career chance I can imagine right now. It’s terrifying to think that being a crossdresser would make me homeless and/or jobless.

      The second one is related to violence against us. Many stories I read about transgenders being assaulted make me feel sorrow for them and scared for me.

      Unfortunately many people around us simply cannot understand that we are just trying to do our best when we get dressed, and it’s far from being harmful against them. They act like we were threats to their lifestyle and want to “correct” us. Sad but true.

       

      xoxo

      Daisy

    • #394690
      Laura Lovett
      Lady
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      My biggest fear of going out dressed up in public is that someone would know that I was a man dressed in women’s clothing. That is my main concern that keeps me from stepping out. Also being recognized is another concern.

      Hi darling

      They’re going to know.

      Unless you’re uncannily feminine, people will know – and it depends on the attitudes where you live, but in my experience, in all sorts of places, people don’t care.

      You’re not a threat – quite the opposite – you’re a feminised man. Some people really, genuinely like that.

      It doesn’t bother me that anyone knows – it bothers my wife, so I keep it concealed in my locality, and go somewhere I don’t know anyone…

      Well, I say that… I keep meeting people whilst en femme, and Laura has a whole lot of friends and people who believe in her as a courageous and lovely human being.

      That’s not me bragging, that’s me reporting what people say to me, that’s all.

      Often strangers, who have no investment in my well being, just come up to me and say stuff like that – it’s amazing how nice some people can be.

      Don’t get me wrong – there are small minded idiots, but they are on the decline, and in a minority.

      One of the fears you don’t need is being “read”. It doesn’t matter.

      And it’s not OK for me because I look pretty – that’s the work of Faceapp.

      I look like a 6′ 4″ Garth from Wayne’s World in a dress.

      But it feels lovely – it feels like Laura, and it is Laura to anyone I meet. People get that immediately, and never ask my “real” name. My real name is Laura. As well as my other name 😁

      Love Laura

       

    • #394120
      Ilona
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2016
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      Hello, Chrissy

      While it would be nice to wear what we like, it is probably better to be safe.

      I wear leggings over my tights and a plain skirt over a dress. In the last few weeks, people don’t seem bothered about me and I would prefer that to the negative comments I got a few months ago.

      Good luck

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    • #394097
      Anonymous
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      My biggest fear of going out dressed up in public is that someone would know that I was a man dressed in women’s clothing. That is my main concern that keeps me from stepping out. Also being recognized is another concern.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #393843
      Paula F
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
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      Back in the 1970’s when I was beginning to venture out of the protective area around my mom’s house, I was always afraid of being caught and outed by other kids from school that knew me, especially, as we called them in Jr High school, the goat ropers (rednecks, for big city folks).

      It never did happen though, until I was well into my 20’s.

      PaulaF

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    • #393839
      Anonymous
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      i guess being caught by someone i know. but its been 3 years now and my secret is still good. my rules.

      1) never use your real name (that includes your email too)

      2) never talk about what you do in your real life

      3) never give out your phone number

      4) never take strangers to your house

      remember you are a girl now and your man life does not exist when your dressed.

      be the women you would want to meet.

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    • #393331
      Ilona
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2016
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      Hello, Sophie

      I decided to come out to more people in January and February. I feared rejection, but most people weren’t bothered and some were encouraging. One woman is bothered about my male shoes. I have wide size 13 feet and my feminine shoes are a bit uncomfortable after a time.

      One woman wanted to discuss the situation further and one thought it was a fad (even though I’ve had it over 50 years) and wanted me to return to normal. A third shouted and screamed at me and thought I should be supporting her political thoughts (possibly based on conspiracy theories), rather than prancing around in frilly dresses. I eventually stopped the call and I haven’t had an apology, despite my listening to her problems and trying to offer support over the years.

      I have talked with a few people about my cross-dressing. I feel that men should have the same right to wear skirts and dresses as women have to wear trousers. Does your wife wear trousers? If so, perhaps you can discuss the situation by mentioning that, as long as you don’t call her a hypocrite for being a cross-dresser herself.

      I haven’t seen many people during lockdown, but I have attended Zoom sessions while openly wearing a blouse or dress. So far, I haven’t heard any complaints.

      Good luck

      Ilona

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    • #393238
      June (Rei) Durden
      Lady
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
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      Actually I believe you summed up my worst fear perfectly! After coming out to my wife (and 2 daughters) and facing the possibility of rejection and separation/divorce, being called out by someone I know makes me scared enough to keep myself pretty low key for the moment, but I’m getting braver every week.

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    • #392265
      Sophie Cardin
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 3, 2020
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      My worst fear is to be discovered by my wife. What a paradox, I would so much like her to know and accept me as I am.

      It is probably the fear of losing my wife…

      I think that fear weaken when we are more confident about who we are . It takes time,  the first time I went out I was so scared and excited at the same time, it’s funny because we want to show ourselves to the outside world, but so scared of it…

    • #392228
      Jannie Murry
      Lady
      Registered On: October 15, 2019
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      When I began to dress en femme, just dressing was enough for me to do in the privacy of a motel room. But as time went by I got bored with dressing and being a prisoner in a motel room. As I got into dressing in full makeup, I could see a woman in the mirror and that’s when I began to want to go out as Janine. I had plenty of clothes to choose from so I could look like I am a gernetic girl. I can’t tell you about how many times I got dressed and looked passable but had a fear of leaving the safety of my motel room. The first milestone for me was to go to the soda machine nearby and get a bottle of water then go back to my room. After doing this and finding out that nobody was paying attention to me, I decided to drive around the parking lot and still nobody payed attention to me. Then one day I decided that this is the day that I was going to venture out and go to a shopping center in the city. I was so nervous and scared as I drove to the shopping center and parking my car in the back of the shopping center away from the main entrance. I still remember exactly how I felt when I got out of my car and put the strap of my purse on my shoulder then locked the car and began walking slowly towards the rear entrance of the Macy’s store I could hardly contain myself as I was hearing the sound of my heels clicking on the pavement. I was on a adrenaline high as I continued walking. I could feel the breeze blowing under my skirt and through my hair making my hair bounce and my breast forms were bouncing with every step I was taking. I met some people walking towards me and I just smiled at them as we passed each other. I wanted to turn around to see if they were looking at me but I didn’t. Instead I just continued walking towards the entrance of the store. As I got closer to the store  I saw a potential red flag. There was a construction crew working on the sidewalk and I had to go past them to get to the entrance of the store. I almost turned around and went back to my car. But I thought. I’ve come this far  don’t stop now. So I held my head up and walked right past the construction crew smiling at the men who were working. That was such a scary thing but they didn’t say anything to me as I passed by them That was the thing that told me that I had passed as a female. After passing them I wiggled my butt in case they were watching me but I still didn’t turn around to see if they were watching me and opened the door of the store and went in  .Once inside the store I saw lots of people shopping and I blended in with them without a incident. I was being accepted as a girl shopping and I couldn’t have been happier. After looking around the store for awhile I saw a sign that said. Ladies Room.I stopped in my tracks and stood there wondering if I dare go to the ladies room? After thinking about it I decided Why not,?After all I’m dressed as a female and I’ve always wondered what a ladies room would look I walked to the door and opened it. I wasn’t ready for what I saw. There was two long rows of stalls on each wall. It was so clean and didn’t smell like urine like a mens room dose, I went in and found a empty stall and went into it closing the door and locking it. I was really in a ladies room. I could hardly believe that I was My heart was racing as I sat down on the toilet and relieved myself After I finished I flushed the toilet and left the stall then went to the sinks where I washed my hands and touched up my makeup  then left and went back into the store After looking at lots of clothes and lingerie I decided not to buy anything and left to go back to my car. Again I had to pass the construction workers and did without hardly thinking about it. After I had gotten past them I thought that I heard on of them whistle at me but I didn’t turn around to see if the whistle was directed at  me and secretly I hoped that it was. I want back to my car and drove back to my motel room where I reflected on what I had done. The fear that I had about going out dressed en femme was gone. I knew that I could pass as a female anywhere I wanted to go. I’ve been going out dressed en femme ever since and its still a thrill for me every time that I do it Thanks for letting me tell about getting over my fear of being outed

      Janine

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

    • #372046
      Katie Darcy
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2020
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      I have fears and I have concerns. The concerns I can push through but the fears make me overthink and keep me inside

      Concerns are someone I know recognizing me. My job is out of state, so I will never run across a coworker in my town. My wife is aware and supportive, so I’m not concerned at all about her “finding out”. Our close friends are very progressive and would understand; but I would rather not make it awkward for them.

      Another concern is being “clocked” and someone making a scene. I would just move on from that, go home, regroup, and try again later

      My main fear these days is a “Karen” or a “momma bear” making a scene and calling the police or YouTubing everything. The worst case scenario is some momma bear type calling the police because there is “a pervert running around”. That could very well end in an arrest if you don’t get a level headed officer who asks questions to find out what’s really going on.

      In some places I travel I might be concerned with violence; but my town seems fairly safe. It’s a college town and some college boys can be a little rowdy; but I am generally much less concerned with younger people today because I find they are sooo much more inclusive and accepting than my generation (X!) and earlier.

       

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    • #364132
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
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      Yes, being beaten up would be my worst fear.  The worst feeling would be people laughing and making fun of me.

      Being assaulted by a group laughing at me.  That’s it then.

      Stevie

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    • #363495
      Ilona
      Lady
      Registered On: November 14, 2016
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      I am also worried about assault. I have had one case of verbal assault with a man calling out “He’s wearing a f***ing skirt”. Last Thursday, a man said, “He’s wearing a skirt and leggings”. I am trying to be more careful by wearing a dark skirt and dark tights and most people don’t seem bothered, but I am very self conscious and I don’t like being highlighted in public.

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    • #363487
      Nick Lacroix
      Lady
      Registered On: February 3, 2020
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      I would have to say being recognized as well as someone wanting to assault me for my choices in attire.

    • #363233
      Terri
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 17, 2016
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      My biggest fear is meeting a family member while im out enfemme. I had 2 incidents that were close. One I was driving and i saw my brother about 2 car lengths in front of me. I immediately pulled over and waited a few minutes. The other time I was shopping and saw a close friends wife wheeling a baby carriage. We almost came face to face. But i gguess she didn’t recognize me.

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    • #363230
      Danielle Elizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: April 6, 2020
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      I would say that being recognized by someone I know and sounding too male (I have a very low voice) are my two biggest fears.

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    • #361161
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
      Topics: 12
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