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When I first started crossdressing my worst fear was that I would run into someone I knew and they would recognize me.
That was followed closely by a full on outing and scene in a public place.Neither of those ever happened – it’s amazing that what we fear sometimes never comes to pass.
What is your biggest crossdressing fear?
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Well i agree i was afraid someone i know would see me, but as i embraced my femininity more and began to realize i was transgender i wanted them to see me.
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That my wife will feel somehow judged by the people who see me.
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I’m back from my first trip to an LBGTQ bar for a drag night, and can happily add a new fear to our growing list.
I went with the young lady to Freddy’s in Crystal City near the Pentagon. We Ubered and I wore a male shirt, blue denim miniskirt, pantyhose and red heels. The theory on the P/H was if someone decided to put their hand up my skirt I had a solid line of defence.
I walked from the house to the Uber, about 25 yards, and the driver stared the whole way, then a bit more as I got into the car. We arrived are Freddy’s, and of course I had the longest walk to the bar…..50 yards.It was fine, and I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of my nlons and skirt, and focussed on keeping my knees together.
After a few minutes at the check-in desk we were shown to our table, which was more walking fun and apparently a large black crossdresser watched me all the way to the table we had next to him. No biggie, and he certainly wasn’t passing. Large muscles, blonde wig, but well done him for not caring. He was also at a table full of women.
The evening was a lot of fun; the young lady got hit on (hilarious, hoping that would happen) went for a wee (had to stand up, take everything down) and thoroughly enjoyed everything because no-one cared.
Here’s the problem. For the last hour we were there, two blokes, who’d basically been fiddling with each others dicks all evening would not take their eyes off me. It became very uncomfortable to the point that we left after over 3 hours.
Back in an Uber, having stood outside the bar waiting for it to arrive while feeling the breeze wafting around my nyloned thighs, and all was great fun, apart from the two blokes. The Uber driver said before he dropped us off that he’d enjoyed every second of our conversation as we chatted about the evening on the drive back.
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Registered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 125Replies: 1787Has thanked: 2328 timesBeen thanked: 9466 timesMy biggest fear? Being physically attacked.
/EA
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Emily,
- Fact: crime is up in the country. About 20 % in certain categories. True.
Why not gather data about physicalattacts on
CD mtf people? Where why how? What ” contributing” factors. Daylight, darkness, malls,or public streets or bars, restaraunts??, were present in those attacks? Use the research data to minimize anything like that where and how you decide to master your fear?
“Systematic desensensition”
Or allow your fear to rule your decisions? It is a choice.
Today, i was in a dress, flat open toed shoes painted red toes, bra panties, short wig and purse,pearls round my neck,⁹ to a doctors appointment, had an EKG performed and a blood test; pumped gas at gas station, shopped @ local mega grocery store, used ladies room @ the store and checked out in line with other cis women. Not alook, not a tell,nothing fearful happened. Had i visited the local “biker bar”, well. Id be afraid to do that in femme so i dont! Choose Emily!
Love ya
Stephanie1 user thanked author for this post.
- Fact: crime is up in the country. About 20 % in certain categories. True.
I’ll let you know on Sunday. I’m going to a drag show at an LBTGQ bar tomorrow night…….shirt, forms, heels, nylons and denim mini skirt. I’m very optimistic, but you never know what’ll happen as departure time gets closer. Drive there or Uber?
Bravo Frederica,go for it and let me know love to know.
Stephanie1 user thanked author for this post.
I’m back from my first trip to an LBGTQ bar for a drag night, and can happily add a new fear to our growing list.
I went with the young lady to Freddy’s in Crystal City near the Pentagon. We Ubered and I wore a male shirt, blue denim miniskirt, pantyhose and red heels. The theory on the P/H was if someone decided to put their hand up my skirt I had a solid line of defence.
I walked from the house to the Uber, about 25 yards, and the driver stared the whole way, then a bit more as I got into the car. We arrived are Freddy’s, and of course I had the longest walk to the bar…..50 yards.It was fine, and I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of my nlons and skirt, and focussed on keeping my knees together.
After a few minutes at the check-in desk we were shown to our table, which was more walking fun and apparently a large black crossdresser watched me all the way to the table we had next to him. No biggie, and he certainly wasn’t passing. Large muscles, blonde wig, but well done him for not caring. He was also at a table full of women.
The evening was a lot of fun; the young lady got hit on (hilarious, hoping that would happen) went for a wee (had to stand up, take everything down) and thoroughly enjoyed everything because no-one cared.
Here’s the problem. For the last hour we were there, two blokes, who’d basically been fiddling with each others dicks all evening would not take their eyes off me. It became very uncomfortable to the point that we left after over 3 hours.
Back in an Uber, having stood outside the bar waiting for it to arrive while feeling the breeze wafting around my nyloned thighs, and all was great fun, apart from the two blokes. The Uber driver said before he dropped us off that he’d enjoyed every second of our conversation as we chatted about the evening on the drive back.
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I’ll let you know on Sunday. I’m going to a drag show at an LBTGQ bar tomorrow night…….shirt, forms, heels, nylons and denim mini skirt. I’m very optimistic, but you never know what’ll happen as departure time gets closer. Drive there or Uber?
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Aggressive people.
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- Registered On: November 14, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 71Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 235 times
I have been wearing a skirt and leggings in my voluntary job for 2 years. Most people don’t seem bothered
Last week, a young boy tried to lift up my skirt. I stopped him. I didn’t mention the incident to his guardians as I was worried about possible transphobic abuse.
After I left the centre and walked back to the station, I walked past a family and heard a girl asking “Why is that man wearing a skirt?”
While most people don’t seem too bothered about cross-dressers, some are curious and this can be disconcerting
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- Registered On: January 21, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 224Has thanked: 1271 timesBeen thanked: 984 times
Thank you for this post Vanessa. Like so many this is a very real fear for me. I simply can’t risk losing family and friends and yet the urge to go grows and I have been out a couple of times and loved it.
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All of my fears revolve around being seen by someone I know. I was out recently dressed in my leggings and sports top. I was hiking with my wife. The trail had some people on it. I did get some funny looks but no negative comments. We create these fears from years of hiding and fear of rejection. It’s a challenging world out there for a cross-dresser. Stay your course, move at your speed, and keep making positive self-goals with your dressing, and it will come together for you and how you want it.
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Hi, I was fearful of being seen by someone I know, but last time I went out as full on Katie, I got a bit tipsy and by the end of the night I didn’t care. I had been out walking in the dark alone all night, but it got so late that it actually started to get light. By then I didn’t give a hoot who saw me and just walked back home and there were definitely people up and about. It’s been a few weeks since this happened and none of the neighbours have said anything. Either they don’t want to bring it up or I wasn’t spotted, but I actually don’t care either way, I’m not hurting anyone.
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Dear Katie dont care”, exactly, you’re not hurting anyone accept yourself in your wanting to be free to express the feminine part of you.
So, you go girl !
Stand tall, head up,and express the prettiest part of YOU.
HUGS.1 user thanked author for this post.
I have several anxieties about going out, none of which I’m truly fearful of.
-Being spotted by the politically or culturally conservative neighbors in our high-density suburban townhome association. (Either leaving or returning from home).
-Being stared at for sticking out above everyone else (I’m 6’4″ and get stared at for simply existing).
-Being harassed.To a lesser extent which restrooms to use? Not really a fear in California as lot of public restrooms are gender neutral. Or in some places gender inclusive!
-Natalie
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…..and I worry about wearing heels at 6′ 0″…….
Well there’s two ways of looking at standing out of the crowd one is because you’re too tall and the other is because you want to be seen and you are showing all the confidence that you have and how you’re dressed. Dress for you walk into the club and take over the room! That should be a rush hey!
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I shall be doing it tomorrow night……should be fun.
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- Registered On: October 6, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 115Has thanked: 3233 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
Natalie, I do emphasize with some of your… situations. I too live in suburban townhouses. I’m tall, close to 6’3″. High heels?
May as well shine a spotlight. Actually, my low heel black pumps serve well inside and out in public.I have one pair of flats. It’s about the walk,confidence, head up,chest out, etc.🌹Connie
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- Registered On: April 20, 2022Topics: 8Replies: 407Has thanked: 1395 timesBeen thanked: 2052 times
Being recognized by neighbors. I live in a very secluded neighborhood with lots of woods around us all. I do have a tendency to dress and go out on the deck to relax or even work in the yard en-femme when the SO is away. Lucky that no one can really see the back yard and deck.
Lisa
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- Registered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
My worst fear is my wife’s fear. She doesn’t want me to get clocked by people we know.
I have had a few close calls during the day while close to home because we don’t use a car.
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I think my worst fear is being recognized and having it ultimately hurting my family and the people I love. So I do not go out publicly where I live … only in other cities. My favorite public outing is a road trip where I dress and drive a long distance. Stop for gas and lunch on the way. I do not care about others questioning me. The other concern is safety. But if I am alone, I feel I can handle most situations unless a weapon is involved. I dont care about cat calls and I’ve found most people just ignore you, particularly other women. I have stayed in hotels in other cities and gone to breakfast dressed and never found that to be an issue.
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- Registered On: December 25, 2022Topics: 4Replies: 366Has thanked: 442 timesBeen thanked: 1175 times
Ending up in a violent situation. I am out and regularly get read. No big deal really. It’s either a smile or a confused look that I get. So far so good that the punks out there have ignored me. The fear of someone pulling off my wig is my other fear. Embarrassing to say the least if it were to happen.
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My biggest fear is being recognised by people I work or have worked with and being outed. I’ve worked in mining for around 12yrs at multiple sites and one thing that’s common is everyone knows everyone. I can go to a new site and if I don’t know at least one person as soon as you mention where you’ve worked someone will know people that are or were there. Add to that it being a majority fly in fly out life with people living all over the state you can’t even go 2 towns over and feel safe. Maybe one day I’ll be a brave little princess, toughen up and stop caring what others think. But for now I’ll stick to dressing at home.
Cassie.
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I think my worst fear is that I wouldn’t be accepted. Which is probably all my own
propagated fear. I have been to a nude beach, and I was accepted there.4 users thanked author for this post.
I’ve been to a nude beach and a nude campground many times. I do not have a great-looking body — I’m overweight, not well-endowed, and have an asymmetrical, unattractive body, but have had only positive experiences. Yet I have less fear of going to a nude beach than I do going out crossdressed! My biggest fear is being recognized or outed by someone who doesn’t accept crossdressers or transgender folks and making a stink about it with co-workers or friends who don’t know. Most of my immediate family knows I crossdress, and my SO is very supportive of my crossdressing at home, but still, I’m not out. I will never pass, so I don’t think it’s a fear I’ll ever overcome.
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- Registered On: August 4, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 207Has thanked: 2353 timesBeen thanked: 1132 times
Recognition, the subsequent smalltown gossip, and word getting back to my children
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Trace,
I really had to laugh when I read your post. I used to model for life drawing classes. Posing nude for 3 hours a session in front of many groups of artists.
The nudity actually becomes a non-issue. That’s what everyone expects to be there.
I started cross dressing during that time and it was so weird. Just like you, I was more afraid going out in public cross dressed than I was being naked in front of a roomful of strangers. In the class, everyone stared at me. Cross dressed, I was afraid of being stared at.
I modeled for 10 years and finally had to stop due to an injury which made it impossible to hold a standing pose for 25 minutes.
However, I do know that the confidence I gained from modeling has transferred to my cross dressing. I do pass and I’m comfortable about people looking/staring/wondering about me.BTY, I have also frequented nudist colonies.
- Registered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 806Has thanked: 7572 timesBeen thanked: 3411 times
My biggest fears are being recognized and not being able to blend in and being harassed. I have recently started going out wearing panties which I realize unless I wind up in an emergency room isn’t that big of a deal. My wife gave me a couple pair of shorts that no longer fit her and I have worn them out a few times (with her knowledge). I’m not worried about wearing them out as the only way to notice they are women’s shorts is to look at the left opening zipper, and if you notice that then there are other issues. I recently got some booties that my wife has said I may be able to wear out in drab, but it’s not boot season yet so that will have to wait.
XOXO
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 414Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 1655 times
My partner bought me shorts thinking they were for men but it turns out they were placed in the wrong department. We both like them so I wear them regularly. The only objection is mine, not others. They have no pockets! I guess women are innovative and stuff things in their bras so I will have to adapt.
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Yes Rhonda, i miss pockets too.
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 414Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 1655 times
Women compensate by carrying purses or finding a man who will let carry their stuff while they are just arm candy. You need a graduate degree to figure how to organize everything efficiently in a way you can remember it all, be sure keys are always at the ready so you don’t fumble around like an old lady while someone attacks you. Women go to college to get their MRS degree, and that includes learning all this stuff I think… master magicians, able to hide everything. It’s all I can do to hide the bulge in my crotch.
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My fear would be someone(anybody) recognizing me as male in women’s clothing and having any sort of violent reaction. My second fear would be running into someone I know and having that cause some tension or friction
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Exactly as you put it, only not being able to say “That never happened”. I feel it WILL happen, and the Genie is out of the bottle…Now, assuming one is ready for the world to know, that would not be a major problem, but for someone not ready or wanting to fully embrace 100% “out there”, that could be, and probably would be, devastating.
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My biggest fear is being harassed either verbally or physically. My goal is to just blend in as a female and not to stand out. Being clocked isn’t a big issue for me since it is generally more of a transient thing. Once you’re past someone who clocks you, it’s all over and you’ll probably never see that person again.
I have generally found that most people are so into their own thing that they hardly ever notice those around them. Once I realized this, it became much easier for me to go out in public and be seen. I also tend to go out in areas that are more open minded and that helps too.
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- Registered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
Crowds let you hide better – just another tree in the forest. Alone on a street, we get more focused attention.
With my martial arts training, I hope that I wouldn’t get into too much trouble physically. 👠 can be useful. 😉
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My training too
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- Registered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 37Replies: 375Has thanked: 559 timesBeen thanked: 2351 times
Since I started 3 years ago, I’ve gradually eased my entire world into my androgynous look. Long hair (excuse was it started due to Covid), a little bit of eyeliner (excuse was due to wanting to look better in my online presentations), and wearing skinny jeans (no excuse other than everybody already knows I’m into style, but has progressed recently to women’s skinny jeans because they’re tighter), unisex bracelets and necklaces (this is very normal for me to wear anyway since high school), and working out a different way to enhance a more feminine body (every body knows I like being trim and fit anyway).
HOWEVER, being Carmen is a completely different animal and is clear and distinct from my Andro world. She has her own life, her own style, her own clothes, her own jewelry, her own car, her own shopping venues, her own “areas” in town to hang out at.
Because of that, my biggest fear at this point, because Carmen is always out there socially doing something in her world, is to be some witness to some event that I’d have to be interviewed on the news or something publicly while dressed. HOWEVER, that fear is even subsiding a little because if my Andro world recognizes me, at this point they’d probably just say “hmmmm, I’ve been wondering that.” Mainly, this fear is compounded because of how Carmen dresses. I’m not just a crossdresser, I go full tilt trying to look sexy. LOL.
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Full Tilt trying to act dress 6 sexy,? What does the idea do for you to say how important is it to dress age appropriate? I myself like to wear sexy little short skirts and I might say to dress brazenly, however it would attract unwanted attention that I fear needs to be managed or controlled Within Myself. What do you think about that? Stephanie
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Business owner here in a small town.. being recognized, etc. and honestly, my CD is not something I wanna share with just any Ol person either. I like conversing with a couple of my female family members and the wonderful ladies on here.. but not everyone lol
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- Registered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
I’m most afraid of being recognized by someone I know who wouldn’t understand and would treat me unkindly. Fortunately that’s a short list in my neck of the woods. I’m a little afraid of being harassed by garden variety transphobes, but that’s pretty unlikely in Seattle. Being out en femme is still new enough to me that when I do something for the first time, like going to the grocery store, I have to screw up my courage a little, but then it’s “head high, eyes up, chest out, back straight” and I find my confidence.
I’m fortunate to live in a progressive and tolerant community where I don’t have fears for my personal safety. I take normal, appropriate precautions, and I’m aware of my surroundings. The same applies en homme.
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- Registered On: April 7, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 687Has thanked: 2974 timesBeen thanked: 3179 times
My greatest fear is also that I would hurt of complicate loved ones lives. Personally I think at some level I would like to be completely outed. I seem to take way to many chances when dressed. Then there would be little to stop me from dressing whenever I felt like it. My wife children and grandchildren would spend much of their lives answering question about me or responding to rude comments.
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- Registered On: November 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 500Has thanked: 603 timesBeen thanked: 1979 times
These days, my fear is a the slim prospect of a random act of violence.
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I also consider a random act of violence the deepest fear, especially in a relatively small town that is not Progressive or liberal. I dare say equality
is not on a lot of people’s goal list here in Florida.
Recently read a story here in my area where a gay businessman said he would not walk down the street with his husband holding hand fear that he could be killed for that! That resonates with me as being a real possibility here.2 users thanked author for this post.
Hi all I feel the same way.Iam always fear that people don’t understand us and if you need a toilet which there is not a lot way i live its men or women , what do you do??? I usually want till I get home, and if you’re older end we need toilet more .any way that’s is my worry . take care every one sophie. x
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For me, I being confronted while dressed.l is a secondary concern. My worry is someone seeing me and saying nothing but starting a whisper campaign in which I would not only be outed, but embellished with whatever the whisperer wants to hurt me with. The more allegedly prominent you are, the more prone you are to this insidious whisper attack. That’s why I’ll be glad when I’m retired. At that point, who cares if a former so-and-so is a Crossdresser?
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I was at lunch with a friend at someplace I thought was safe and someone from my work happened to be there and overheard me speaking to my friend. The rumor mill began. Several people stopped talking and began avoiding me. One individual tried to “out” me to a friend (her daughter is a lesbian) in front of me. She had enough integrity to immediately shut him down. While I am in no means in the Executive Suite, I have a high profile in my Company. Also too, I am active my small, rural community. I was sent unflattering pictures of crossdressers to my corporate email. I believe this was caught by IT and it went away very quickly after that.
Pre-pandemic, I went out often to gay clubs and to friends’ houses. Now, I do not dress as much now or speak about my feelings to anyone, effectively back in the closet I am soon to be retired from all work and community responsibilities and hope to come out once more.
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 414Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 1655 times
So sorry! I have experienced similar issues. I hope to see the day when this is more broadly accepted as normal behavior, or at least people will have the good sense not to shame others. By now, I think most should know better, but I think few are truly knowledgable enough to understand. As a community of crossdressers I think we need to do more to educate the general public to dispel fear and misunderstanding of what is normal and innocuous behavior, something I feel we have no choice but to accept ourselves, and others should realize it is not beneficial to disparage anyone for what who they are. Most seem to accept those who have Alzheimers, an amputated leg, palsy, polio, physical disability, or other things one might consider abnormal, but know better than to mock them or expect them to change or feel guilty. Who is to be pitied most?… those who are “abnormal” but have no choice about who they are or those who cannot accept those who don’t meet their criteria of “acceptable”?
I guess for me one of my biggest fears I actually conquered years back I think I was about 17 or 18 and we have been living together for about 3 years and she already knew she found out so her birthday was coming up and she said she wanted to have a girls night in and I was like what is your birthday so what would you like and she told me she wanted me to be completely dressed and she was going to do my makeup and she also said she wanted me to also have forms. Now what now at this time I had not gotten any forms out of fear of having to go into the store to even get them but for her I would have done anything so I looked around to see where I can find to get them and there was a boutique in my town so I came up with a plan I would go in there and tell the owner that I was playing a practical joke and they weren’t for me. Needless to say that plan didn’t work out didn’t help that I was shaking so bad that I could barely even stand so she figured I was going on she was like no you need to get fitted and then we can go from there and I remember taking my shirt off and being mortified and she was like don’t worry it’s okay I have plenty of friends like you she made me feel realities I spent about 2 hours in there she got me fitted got me a bra got me everything I needed to make my girlfriend’s birthday special and to this day I’m still friends with the owner of that boutique so that took care of the fear of people finding out cuz up until then I was just run into the store see something grab it and run out.
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- Registered On: December 27, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 318Has thanked: 645 timesBeen thanked: 1123 times
Goodmorning Jasmine, a resl snse of unease comes over us when we walk down our innate journey. For me it has always been.
So Jasmine, I understand your fears, but thanks too a lovely lady at the boutique, you now realize that if we need help to become enfemme, we should ask.
Spesk to the owner etc, and they will help.
If not try elsewhere.
Your date must have been sensational, congratulations. Now coffee sates, a weekend enfemme girls trip.
I wish you every happiness.
Jane3 users thanked author for this post.
Thank you so much and it was definitely an exquisite evening we stayed up until the sun came up just talking laughing and just enjoying ourselves it was a once in a lifetime experience
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- Registered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 1Replies: 172Has thanked: 1538 timesBeen thanked: 587 times
My biggest fear is hurting a loved one (my kids or grandkids). My wife knows, but she is the only one and has accepted it, although very reluctantly. The few times I have gone out in public, people have not given me any problems, although there have been stares. I don’t really care what the public thinks, I just don’t want to embarrass my family. I wish I was able to tell them all, but not there yet. I envy those on CDH who can freely go out as they desire. God bless you!
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I have been going out enfemme on and off over 40 yrs. I have had most of the experiences that some of you have feared. Each time everything worked out. One of my biggest fears is my children finding out, which is also my wife’s biggest fear. I am careful but I think if they found out I would tell them that I will always be their father and I will always be there for them. A few years ago I had planned to tell them all about Terri. It was the December before the pandemic. I couldn’t tell them. Im glad I didn’t because in these crazy times.
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I don’t go out fully dressed very often but I do underdress daily in a sort of androgynous style which my wife knows and has said “Don’t embarrass me!” So far when I’ve gotten a negative reaction she hasn’t been with me.
There certainly are some relatives and friends I wouldn’t want to run into when out so I keep my eyes peeled and if I see someone I go the opposite way or leave the store. Once I walked into a bank wearing a pink fem blouse, bra with small forms under a light jacket, panties of course, pantyhose under some fem jeans, and black flats with my hair in a ponytail. I was standing there behind a guy in line and suddenly realized the guy in front of me was a conservative friend I hadn’t seen since I let my hair grow out. I was shocked but luckily he hadn’t seen me so I turned and quickly walked out. If I had gone in a few minutes earlier he would have been behind me… close call.
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Hola, mi mayor miedo al travestirme era que me viera mi padre usando ropa de mujer y me paso cuando era adolescente, afortunadamente en ese momento pude justificarlo y no paso a mayores, pero si fue una experiencia sumamente angustiante; actualmente si me preocupa al salir que alguien se de cuenta que soy hombre y pueda terminar en una situacion vergonzosa, incluso hasta peligrosa, por eso trato de hacer mi mejor esfuerzo por pasar, aunque curiosamente cuando me relajo y no pienso en ello es cuando lo hago mejor.
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same here, running into someone I know. But I’m not full on dressed. Women’s pants, shoes, and underwear of course. Tights or some sort of hose. In the summertime I wear capri length pants.
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Or getting a flat tire
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For me there’s several things that cause me fear of being en femme in public, when I was about 17 I had a real unpleasant experience where I was outed, sexually harassed and publicly humiliated all at once, I fear the possibility of that happening again, however where that does intimidate me very much badly, now as a parent I fear ridicule, Embarrassment, bullying, and other forms of pain or strife for my family and loved ones, many of my friends have encouraged me to be myself regardless of what people may say, but my own family worries about being associated with this aspect of who I am, and do not condone my decisions to express my femininity, when I came out to them they told me I can do what I want to do but only when I’m at home, by myself, when no one was going to be home for several hours at a time and that all of my female related artifacts were to remain hidden in the back of the closet when not in use and to not post anything about it online, and that was unsettling to me because after telling me that they don’t approve of it, then that they are okay with me doing it in secret doesn’t feel validating of who I truly am.
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 414Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 1655 times
Amilah,
I think your family is validating/accepting of you, but they have their separate concerns about the impact it might have on their friends so feel a need to be protective of both you and them. We all have our own borders. A concern about telling children often is not that they would not themselves accept, but that it transfers the monkey off our own backs to them, to deal with an issue they might prefer not to know or have to field. It is little relief to feel we have unburdened ourselves if all we are doing is transferring an uncomfortable issue to others for whom it should not have to be an issue. I don’t think we can fault them for wanting the secret to go no further, to have to decide whether to keep the secret, tell others, swear them to secrecy, or whatever. If you have things lying around anyone might discover it and say something to family members, forcing them to make decisions about what to say, not say, deny, defend, etc. I think they are justified in asking you to keep things hidden, and that should not be taken as lack of acceptance of you by them. If they did not accept you they would probably tell you not to reveal it at all to them. That does not seem to be the case from what you have said, so I think you should be thankful for their acceptance, at least and don’t expect more than they are comfortable offering. You might even express your gratitude for their acceptance and let them know you appreciate their concerns and don’t intend to cause them any issues. In fact, their reluctance to have you outed should be viewed as a positive… a concern by them for your own protection and right to privacy. It might be worth discussing this matter with them so as to better understand their concerns and be sure they know you are appreicative for their acceptance of you and willingness to guard you from those who might not understand or cause issues for you or them. So naturally, I fear for my own well-being as to the safety and well-being of those I care about.
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- Registered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 85Replies: 1380Has thanked: 3203 timesBeen thanked: 6481 times
Amellia, you echo the concern of so many of us here. How it would effect family if close friends found out. I was kind of suprised when my daughter who is on the dadt group told the friend of her’s who used to babysit my granddaughter. That friend who was at my house was VERY confirming of my new identity, asking me my feminine name and asking my pronouns. My only problem with that was my 15 yo granddaughter was standing right there with her boyfriend. I know I don’t want to be cause of exstream embarassment for my granddaughter or my daughter.
. ./.Cassie
- Registered On: December 27, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 318Has thanked: 645 timesBeen thanked: 1123 times
Yes, I agree my fear living i a small place is being recognized enfemme. Myfamily all know and have seen some of me dressed. When I have dressed in public, and just gone about my business, most people don’t care, as long as they are not impacted. Most women smile, look at your outfit, while men ignore you or stare.
Jane
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- Registered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 25Replies: 292Has thanked: 700 timesBeen thanked: 1785 times
My worst fear isn’t really being caught by someone I know, who doesn’t already know. When I decided to go out dressed up, I also decided to own whatever consequences came of it. Having said that, I still worry about what might happen.
My biggest fear is that dressing up might somehow harm people I care about or have responsibility for. I am in an influential position in my church and in my family. Personally, I don’t feel any contradiction or problem with the way I dress up. I’ve resolved the issue for myself in my own mind. I worry, however, that it will hurt people who trust me as a leader or mentor. I can handle being embarrassed or laughed at, but what I do affects other people in too, and I worry about that the most.
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I have two fears. First, being seen and outed by someone I know, which is a very real possibility.
Second, being a victim of a hate crime, which is less likely, but still possible. For that reason I only go to CD/TS friendly places.9 users thanked author for this post.
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My worst fear is of course somehow being identified (almost impossible, but still a fear) and / or being ridiculed.
I just posted on another thread as I made my first nocturnal outdoor venture last night and overall, the experience was empowering, somewhat scary, but a huge ego boost too.
The joy of being able to be seen, just as I feel inside when I’m padded, dressed, wigged and made-up was mind-blowing. I got some nice comments and several cheeky approaches/vulgarity – but that’s my bad for my choice of attire. Lesson learned and the black skin-tight pvc pants will not be on display again until NYE when I am planning my next outing. I figure most people will be party dressed so I wonlt be as stand-out.
The thrill of being seen as a curvaceous female, wiggling my up and down the street in my heels, is as powerful a drug as you can get.
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- Registered On: December 25, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 29Has thanked: 79 timesBeen thanked: 188 times
This is why I do not go out in public. It would create way too much drama. And would create a lot of personal anxiety. 3 years off of anxiety meds now. And don’t want to go back to la la land.
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 414Has thanked: 437 timesBeen thanked: 1655 times
I have faced many of the situations causing fear for others… many encounters with police, being patted down by security, who surely discovered the fact I was wearing a bra, speaking in public (even delivering a sermon once). All have proved to be positive experiences. I am almost disappointed if I DON’T have an encounter of some sort when going out, since it is encounters which lead to the most memorable, usually positive, experiences. The few times I have been clocked and felt there was an effort to let me know I was read were unpleasant but bearable. My greatest fear, I think, is causing a problem for someone with me who might face ridicule or criticism as a result of being seen with me or leading to recognition because those seeing her would expect me to be with her and see through my disguise. Being outed to one who is unaccepting and likely to relate the experience to others, particularly those who know and respect me and would think ill of me for dressing in public- especially business acquaintances who could cause embarrassment for me by relating the experience to others in a wide sphere, whose opinions of me would be negatively influenced as a result, would be unpleasant.
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My biggest fear is failure. I know I am not passible. My family would not approve because of their reilgous views on the subject. Past that I don’t think I have the courage to go out in public. I did when I was way younger but, then I had a girlfriend that approved of me. She helped me out . My former wife though, did not approve and hurt my self estem a lot
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- Registered On: November 14, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 71Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 235 times
Thanks, Jamie
I feel that men should have the same clothing rights as women. I have had little reaction when I’ve been openly wearing a skirt and leggings while doing voluntary work.
I don’t think I pass either, but I don’t think I should look like a woman any more than a woman should ‘look like a man’ when she wears trousers.
I hope you have a lovely festive season
Take care
Ilona
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I completely agree. What I wear doesn’t determine who I am any more than what a person eats doesn’t determine who they are. Sadly though, the world we live in is 100% about appearance. it is shoved in our faces from the time we are born to the time that we die. Models, “celebrities”, TV, and the internet all shove a doctrine into our faces and think that we have to abide by what they want us too. I don’t agree with any of it. Again sadly that is why we are in the minority. Not enough people are waking up fast enough to change some of the things wrong. Glad I found this site where that does not happen. Hugz and love Girl.
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Hey Ilona,
Saving the whole world is too big of a job for me. However, when I flounce around in my mini skirt and leggings, I am doing what I need to do to make myself happy, and save my sanity.
I’m sorry that you lost a friend over an issue like this, and that she wasn’t apparently able to understand that one has to save herself first, before then reaching out to save others. And, that in an effort to save others, we have to respect what is most important to them.
You keep going, girl!
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- Registered On: July 26, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 169Has thanked: 405 timesBeen thanked: 1269 times
I have some close friends, and most of my family, who are very conservative. My biggest fear is their judgement.
Everything else I can handle; the strange looks, the assumption that I’m gay, the snide comments…even judgement from acquaintances or neighbors. Those will happen no matter what I do or how I dress. But I’m not prepared to lose my family or my closest friends.4 users thanked author for this post.
- Registered On: November 14, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 71Has thanked: 98 timesBeen thanked: 235 times
Thanks, Jamie
I can understand how you feel.
I came out to most people I know 2 years ago. Most didn’t have a problem, but one person rejected me, saying that she wanted to save the world, while I wanted to flounce around in frilly dresses. Another wanted me to return to be normal and said I was going through a phase; if so, it’s a long phase, lasting over 50 years. A neighbour said that residents had complained about a ‘man walking round in women’s clothing’ and said that he didn’t mind, but I should wear ‘men’s clothing’.
I haven’t told my relatives. I wore leggings at a family party and the complaint was that I was wearing my gym kit. My stepfather is critical of men with long hair, never mind what they wear. I don’t think he’d accept me cross-dressing. I don’t know how other relatives would react. I don’t want to lose relatives.
I tend to wear a skirt over my leggings and, while some people notice, I have fewer adverse comments than when I was openly wearing a dress and tights. I prefer to be safe.
I have had various friends complaining about the coverage of trans issues, such as ‘ biological men’ entering ‘women’s’ toilets or changing rooms or being inmates in ‘women’s’ prisons. There seems to be little sympathy with cross-dressers being attacked in gents toilets.
Good luck, Jamie
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This was a glorious read, a tad long, but so encouraging for someone who is still afraid to go out in public. I see that I just need to take that first step …
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- Registered On: December 2, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 584Has thanked: 4025 timesBeen thanked: 2592 times
For me it was always being clocked. When I first started going out for a walk or shopping I was always very self conscious when men or women stared at me. Right away my first thought was always “shit, I’ve been made” but after awhile I realized that they weren’t staring because they new I was a boy but rather staring because they were checking me out. I was in a hotel lobby one time talking to another CD and this tall good looking man was just leaving the restaurant with his friend, looked straight at me, and said to his pal “She’s cute”. I can’t tell you how good that made me feel and how much of a boost my confidence got. I have never forgot that encounter.
cheers,
Trish9 users thanked author for this post.
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I would think my biggest fear would be my wife being recognized while she was out with me. When I venture out alone, not too many people I know would recognize me in passing. I think my ability to carry myself as a woman is pretty good; at least that’s what my wife says. She also tells me I look nothing like I look in ‘guy’ mode. I trust her judgement and have completely relied on her guidance. And most people won’t immediately put two and two together in a short split second passing on the street. They’re not looking for me in women’s clothes so they won’t immediately make the connection. At least that’s how I think. I could be delusional but I’m happy with it!
As I said, my biggest fear would be someone recognizing her while we are out somewhere and thereby recognizing me. And the ensuing gossip amongst people who know us.
I think the general public doesn’t care a lick, at least in the part of the country I come from, and I’m lucky for that.
Happy Festivus all!6 users thanked author for this post.
… and I can fully see myself too in your message. My wife and I go out quite often, with me en femme and we have never yet run into anyone we know. Luckily for my wife rather than for me. Personally, meeting someone I know would almost be a relief for me as it would save me the bother of having to come out to them. If the truth be told, I have already caused such ‘chance’ encounters with a number of people, and there have been no issues to date. How we choose to dress really should not be an issue – it’s who we are that matters most.
Hugs to all the readers xxx
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- Registered On: September 12, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 264Has thanked: 166 timesBeen thanked: 1179 times
Thank you for that insight. I dont think I ever really thought about me being recognised would cause stress / fear with Penny.
I have quite a few local customers who I do bump into for a passing “hi” or nod as we walk past and whilst most haven’t met my hubby some of them have. I always thought my being with Penny made it easier for her, and I think it does, and we haven’t ventured out to the very local shops as she is not comfortable with that, yet, but it does add another dimension to it.
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Having to return!!!
Am going to make each opportunity special and indulge in some little self saying “ Well Done. Here’s to the next time”Anya hugs to you and all your family this Christmas.
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Like most of us, it would be running into someone I know.
It happened to me the first time I went out in public. I was testing the waters and looking for a safe place to go. I went to a gay bar that I felt would accept gurls like me. I did nothing as far as make-up or trying to pass as a female. I did dress in feminine clothing though. I wore a lace top blouse, women’s slacks, and 3″ heels. nothing over the top on this first time out.
I was walking through the bar when I was shocked to here someone call me by name. I of course ignored it. Then this person walked up to me and questioned me if I was who he thought I was. I of course denied it. and he persisted I was who he thought I was. I continued to say I have no idea who you are talking about. I then proceeded to exit the bar as quickly as I could.
This person who recognized me was a gay person I had worked with in the past. Thankfully he knew none of my present-day friends.
Another time I went thrift store shopping wearing a shirt that you could see my bra through if you looked close enough. I was also wearing a pair of women’s slacks and a pair of flats.
As I was walking into the store, I was horrified to see my wife and daughter walking out. Actually I didn’t see them, they saw me, and shouted to me. Thankfully I was far enough away that she could not see what I was wearing. I pretended I didn’t hear her and continued to quickly walk into the store in hopes of getting lost in the crowd so if my wife and daughter came back in they wouldn’t find me.
My wife knows all about my crossdressing and she knew what I was going shopping for. What she didn’t know was that I liked to dress when I go shopping. Also my daughter knew nothing about my hobby. If she would have gotten close she would have seen what I was wearing and most of all she would have been upset that I was letting my bra show.
I had a change of clothes with me and changed before I got home. My wife only said to me, “Why did you run away?” I told her I didn’t hear her and that was the end of it.
Being seen by someone you know is always my biggest fear and I have been caught many times but that will never stop me from doing something I enjoy so much.
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- Registered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 1985Has thanked: 3909 timesBeen thanked: 6658 times
I have never liked being in the spot light for any reason. Growing up and to this day if I receive any kind of recognition publicly, I get embarrassed. So being vocally outed would be very fearful for me.
Hugs, Liara
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- Registered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 17Replies: 714Has thanked: 4045 timesBeen thanked: 3364 times
Hi Liara!
I was like that too most of my life. I froze whenever more than one person looked at me.
Then… can’t explain it…, but one day I just said, “F-it!”, and kicked the door down! Now I can speak in front of large gatherings and have fun with it! But NOT fully dressed. That’s a whole new level of confidence. I hope to open the drapes on that one day! (Actually, I did recently! Got some claps and whistles too! Oops! LOL! .)
Love, Barb :)
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- Registered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1540Has thanked: 5096 timesBeen thanked: 7617 times
I noticed that I gave some (hopefully) encouraging responses, but haven’t replied to the question as posted:
My biggest fear, going out en femme, is that no-one will talk to me and I will spend my entire outing alone.
I love talking with people, which is the polar opposite of my male side, who lacks self confidence in a very big way – although much less so, having had multiple opportunities to express the feminine side.
CDing “in public” has been a total revelation to me – like looking at my self in a mirror, and finding that, although there are dark, horrible bits, there’s a lot of light too – and, while en femme, I am at total liberty to express and be that lighter side, even if only for a day or 2.
It is quite literally liberating – a kind of unshackling.
But it does take some validation from others – and I find it hard to shake off the almost uncertainty that no-one wants to even look at a 6′ 4″ guy in a dress.
Luckily, every outing has provided dozens of people who want to congratulate me and make me feel good about myself.
I just love people!!!
Love Laura
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- Registered On: January 22, 2020Topics: 36Replies: 270Has thanked: 332 timesBeen thanked: 1664 times
Topics like this come up pretty often and they all make me wonder about how many crossdressers are actually wandering around out and about. In all my 57 years I cannot recall ever seeing a person dressed like the beauties I see photos of on CDH and other sites. I am really hoping to see someone who I feel pretty sure is a crossdresser. I look forward to striking up a conversation and complementing her. I would love to tell them how courageous they seem and how I admire them. I just don’t ever see them…
Puzzled,
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- Registered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 17Replies: 714Has thanked: 4045 timesBeen thanked: 3364 times
Good point, Catherine!
In all my near 60 years, and to the best of my ability to notice, I’ve only met 2.
I was introduced to a transgendered woman in 1995 and she was lovely! I worked with her SO.
And the only other noticeable CD/trans person I’ve ever noticed was a very timid lady working in a book store. Once she realized I really was interested in the topic I was investigating, the ice between us melted and we had a nice chat about anything but crossdressing. I hope I left her with the impression that us big dudes are OK too.
Hugs, Barb :)
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- Registered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1540Has thanked: 5096 timesBeen thanked: 7617 times
That would be me, honey!!!
I see (and meet) CDs almost everywhere I go – not many, admittedly, but they’re out there.
You just need to go to the right places, or be that person. A CD is more likely to make themselves known to a sister!
Love Laura
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- Registered On: November 26, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 145Has thanked: 260 timesBeen thanked: 593 times
I feel same as you Vanessa, boy i would love to go out every day as Amanda,but always worried someone i know will recognize me. Just something i need to ge over, have a great day and Happy Holidays.
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- Registered On: September 1, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 227Has thanked: 4015 timesBeen thanked: 796 times
Wanting to fix breakfast I found out no eggs, not wanting to change out of my spanx camo leggings and leopard print top, i added a shirt over the top and hiking boots. Off to the market was planning to dash in and out. Once in the store I figured out NO one was paying any attention to me, felt great to take my time. To top if off I am checking out some one say hello sweetie it’s my WIFE, I wear the leggings all the time around the house she thinks nothing of them. Now that I feel comfortable going out in leggings can’t wait for next trip.
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- Registered On: September 1, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 227Has thanked: 4015 timesBeen thanked: 796 times
Out in my Camo Leggings again, took my wife to work today wearing leggings and short jacket, one of the few things I wear around the house when she is home. On the way home the urge over took me and a stop at the Market was in order. Once again several employees said good morning no one gives a D#$m just smile and carrie on.
PS I live in the RED neck state of Tennessee1 user thanked author for this post.
It took a long time to get the nerve to to out dressed. I quickly discovered that even without makeup on most people don’t notice and the rest don’t care. Unless of course you are dressed like Alice in Wonderland but that is another story.
I was stopped twice by Police and they did not even mention how I was dressed.
Live your life girls
Nicole
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I should have added that there was fear and it was of being ridiculed. That has never happened. There have been some stares and some pics taken but overall it has been very positive. Start small with just one piece of female outer clothing and see if anyone notices. They probably won’t and you should not even care. The journey is worth it no matter when you start.
Nicole
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- Registered On: December 5, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 633Has thanked: 1550 timesBeen thanked: 2317 times
My worst fear going out in public isn’t just being recognized by people that I know, but after being recognized, the gossip starting. Sadly, cross-dressing is misunderstood in our society, and I don’t want to take the risk, and have ugly gossip around town starting about me. Cross-dressing is beautiful, but gossip can be very ugly. However, I do admire the brave and beautiful sisters that venture out.
XOXO Rev
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Not happening! I’m pretty distinctive – a couple of villagers call me “big guy”. If I ventured out en femme I’d be made in seconds. And the gossip would spread like wildfire. I wouldn’t subject my (non supportive) wife to that.
I really envy those among you who are petite and naturally pretty. I ain’t either.
Connie
xxx
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Breaking down in my car. I’d hate to have a break down, while being in full fem.
I had something like that happen. I couldn’t make it up an icy hill and my car slid in a ditch. My poor car was soooo stuck. I tried to get it out, but it wouldn’t budge. The tire just spun. I had on a dress and high heel boots. Was a little scary.
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My biggest fear when I go out is people looking at me and automatically pegging me as a crossdresser. Like just knowing that Im a man dresses as a woman. With the idea of judgement from everyone around me.
But the more I go out and when I get out I realized that nobody really cares. Nobody really pays attention to those around them. I tend to blend in fairly well. I guess it just my natural insecurities as a crossdresser where I still see my male self from time to time and assume people around me can see him too.
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- Registered On: February 22, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 328Has thanked: 2655 timesBeen thanked: 1334 times
My fear used to be getting caught, but girlfriends before I got married and now my wife showed me that honesty or at least not hiding was the best way to go with a SO. After that, it was being caught by a male co-worker or friend. While that is still true, the bigger fear is being told I look ridiculous. If I were caught but complemented it would be exhilarating!
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Guess mine is having a wreck and getting hurt in the wreck. I go out all the time so it’s no big deal. I’m careful where I go. I try to not go to redneck places if possible. The only time someone wondered if I was a guy was at a Walmart. It was a redneck couple and as I walked out she said I think that’s a guy and he said if it is he’s got nice legs. They didn’t confront me but just made that stupid remark. Almost ran into my ex once but I saw her before she saw me…glad I missed that encounter because she is a big time bigot now. I don’t go to bars in my area because being around drunks a happy time can become a dangerous situation at the drop of a skirt. Any fears I manage and try to not let them get the best of me enjoying my life and how happy Sandy makes me.
Hugs,
Sandy
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- Registered On: December 14, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 20Has thanked: 106 timesBeen thanked: 86 times
Hi Vanessa and all the lovely ladies, biggest fear, seeing someone i know,plus, being 6foot in stocking feet i always feel that people are looking at me more as i feel as if i stand out from the crowd, but the thrill of being out enfem drive’s me on! Any thoughts, especially from you taller girls very welcome xxx
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- Registered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1540Has thanked: 5096 timesBeen thanked: 7617 times
I’m 6′ 4″, and take the attitude: If you’re going to stand out, be outstanding.
Not sure I have achieved that yet, but I always give it my best shot, with attention to detail in my look, actions, voice to some extent – you know, maximise the femme appearance and personality without fully trying to pretend you’re anything other than a man dressed up.
People get that, and as long as you’re enjoying it and visibly having fun, few will grumble!
Love Laura
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THAT is the attitude to have!
No truer words have been spoken.
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- Registered On: January 22, 2020Topics: 36Replies: 270Has thanked: 332 timesBeen thanked: 1664 times
I love that comment “if you’re going to stand out, be outstanding!” I’m 6’6″ and do not have freedom to dress outwardly even at home, let alone out in public. I do dream of that though, and I feel like I would try to keep that attitude. There’s nothing I can do about my height, so I’m better off just enjoying it and even emphasizing it. I very much want to try wearing high heels, so I will be pushing 7 feet. That will definitely get me noticed! I have been admiring Erika Ervin and hope to try to emulate an older version of her if I ever get the opportunity to dress the way I ultimately want to.
Yay for tall girls!
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“If you’re going to stand out, be outstanding!”: can anyone come up with a better view thatn that? NO!!! My new raison d’etre! Thank you – Inga.
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