After much ado, Trish ventured out to the Jinx & De La Holiday Show recently. Thanks to the selfless efforts of my SO and the CDH community, the event proved to be an exhilarating success! I am indebted to you all. I still can’t believe we did it!

Trish Lamore is the soon-to-be 70-year-old CD who has only previously ventured out publicly in what she considers “controlled environments” (driving around town, walks in parks, small parties, etc.,), but never in a large crowded venue. This show, recommended by several CDH members, provided the perfect opportunity for this adventure. The venue is located about an hour away, the show is geared towards an LGBTQ audience, and an adjacent hotel eased many of the logistical burdens. My SO and I discussed the possibility of attending. It should be noted that last year there was a local drag show that was impacted by a significant “criminal attack” which some news outlets reported was in direct response to hosting the show. We agreed to attend, but to exercise caution. Tickets were purchased, reservations made, and planning was underway.

Trish posted, “Seeking Pearls of Wisdom From Those Who Have Preceded Me” on the CDH website to solicit advice from fellow members. The post resulted in a flood of useful information. The cardinal rule to note was; that if you have a supportive, engaged SO, solicit their advice and adhere to it.

My SO and I set about selecting the appropriate outfit. Trish tends to clothes that test the bounds of age appropriateness, while my SO is more conservative, promoting a “blend in” approach. This difference of opinion led to several amusing in-house fashion shows, and shopping trips, followed by more fashion shows. In retrospect, I think these preparations provided as much entertainment as Jinx & De La, and that was no small feat. Our plan was to pick four outfits that covered a range of possibilities, (warm/cold, wet/dry, etc.,) and then down-select as the event drew nearer. I must admit that at times I felt like the rebellious teenage daughter trying to push the boundaries of what is or isn’t permissible. In the end, my kneecaps barely saw the light of day in any of the outfits chosen.


Once we reduced the possible outfits to four, attention turned to accessories. It is important to note that my shoe inventory is rather limited. I wear a size 12 in men’s shoes and have had little luck purchasing women’s shoes made in men’s sizes. All but one pair of Trish’s shoes are stilettoes, and the one pair that wasn’t is a spool heel. A spool heel flairs at the bottom of the heel to provide a larger shoe-to-surface area, consequently greater stability. A possible option was in a pair of stilettoed ankle boots, which I planned to take as a backup. The four outfits were somewhat similar in color and cut, so jewelry and hairpiece selection seemed rather straightforward.

The hardest part of the preparation was packing the necessary makeup. Why is it that we accumulate so much of this stuff? I was intent on only bringing the absolute necessities. It amazed me how little of my makeup collection was needed.

Two days before the show, we had what we believed to be the most accurate weather info to select the outfit. We had a dry run, where I dressed using only the items I planned to pack. Just an aside, when you minimize your dressing options, you can get dressed a lot faster. All was set for the big day.

As recommended by the CDH community, we arrived early at the hotel. We familiarized ourselves with the route from the hotel to the theatre (about 50 steps door-to-door), did some Christmas shopping, and had an early dinner. Up to the room to get Trish! I have a wonderful makeup station at my house, but the hotel accommodations required some adjustments (lighting, counter space, etc.) on our part. Nothing major, but I think it was worth mentioning. Trish was ready in record time and out the door we went.

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My SO had dressed like Rachel Maddow; short hairpiece, rimmed glasses, black blazer top and slacks, and ankle boots. I had a knee-length, black, keyhole, body-conforming dress with 4-inch heels. I pride myself on my planning and preparation skills. Still, that skill set deserted me momentarily as the elevator stopped, the doors began to open, and a tsunami of emotions rushed in. Remember; back straight, shoulders back, exude confidence, and above all, smile! The coast was clear. We cruised by the front desk exchanging pleasantries with the staff, and then out the door we went. The crowd was already gathering for the show. My SO loaned me a purse for the event. This was something I hadn’t considered in my preparations and only threw in an ID, credit card, and some cash. The venue had clearly paid attention to the events of the previous year and provided a significant security presence. Of course, I was selected for additional screening. The staff was very apologetic for the brief inconvenience, and we headed into the theatre. As expected, the crowd was LGBTQ-friendly, and I immediately felt a sense of comfort in the space. There was just enough time to get a couple of refreshments prior to the show. About this time it began to dawn on me just how tall a 6-foot 3-inch person in 4-inch heels actually was. I can’t recall ever having seen so many bald spots at one time! We headed down to our seats, which involved several ramps and stairs, all of which I traversed without incident. I overheard several comments about my mastery of the heels.

Intermission provided another opportunity to traverse the ramp and stair challenge, as well as mingle with the crowd. I received several compliments on my appearance. A couple of folks offered encouragement by way of lamenting that they hadn’t taken the opportunity to dress. I believe I was the subject of some unauthorized photos. I found this rather annoying. I’ve never met a camera I didn’t like. Just ask, and I’ll be happy to accommodate. The return trip to our seats was uneventful.

As for the show itself, we thoroughly enjoyed it! Our preparations proved successful as we had no wardrobe catastrophes or malfunctions. When the opportunity presents itself, we will definitely do it again.

In hopes of paying back to the CDH community, here are what I consider my lessons learned.

A supportive, engaged SO is your most valuable asset, use them. The light shed on a variety of topics by my SO made this adventure so much easier and far less stressful.

A 6-foot 3-inch CD in 4-inch heels, no matter how they are dressed, will prove to be obvious. In the future, I will reconsider my shoe purchase strategy.

Nothing will prepare you for the moment the elevator door opens for your grand entrance. As a fellow CDH member suggested; hold your head high, shoulders back, exude confidence, and smile.

Pack just what you need. This should help expedite your prep time and reduce unnecessary stress.

Doing a dry run proved invaluable as it uncovered a couple of minor things that needed to be addressed. We didn’t experience any wardrobe calamities!

Familiarize yourself with your surroundings. Scouting our route to the theatre evidenced some awkward hurdles, and we were able to reroute seamlessly.

I was totally unprepared for the emotional challenges of this adventure. I hope that as I grow more comfortable as Trish in a public setting I can keep those emotions in check and enjoy the occasion to the fullest.

Don’t leave your phone in the hotel room. We both minimized what we took with us and failed to coordinate phone duties. Alas we came, we conquered, we had fun, but no photos (the attached photo is of the outfit worn during our dry run). Guess we’ll have to do it again!


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    Kaitlyn Pari
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Congratulations @Trish Lamore !!! It must have been so much fun. I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed your time. Love hugs and Kisses.

    Catharine Connall
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Yay Trish, way to go. Thank you for all this advice.

    Catharine Connall
    Active Member
    1 month ago
    Reply to  Trish Lamore

    @Trish Lamore You’re welcome! I don’t know if I could be that brave but we’ll see.

    Felicia Oblige
    1 month ago

    Yes … This! Always! “…hold your head high, shoulders back, exude confidence, and smile." You Go Girl!

    1 month ago

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and lessons learned. I believe that we are open to more possibilities when we have a partner by our side, a “wingman” if you will. I hope you get another opportunity to go out. Looks like you’re on a roll.

    Deborah Sullivan
    Trusted Member
    26 days ago

    great adventure and so glad you did it. Just not the same going to safe places (like parks) once you have been out experiencing life as a woman. Congrats sis

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