As a man who enjoys crossdressing on a regular basis, I can easily say I made the same mistake that most other men do. Not telling our SOs. We grow up knowing that we like women’s clothing. Everyone likes different aspects of it and everyone has different reasons as to why. But we also grew up in an era where this was highly unacceptable and kids got picked on for it, even if looking feminine was unintentional, such as wearing tight pants because we could not afford new ones or a “girly” color as part of our outfit. The crossdressers of my age saw that, or were a victim of it, and made sure they kept that aspect of their life hidden. Even with people I love very much, I could not be open. I didn’t tell my mom, my friends; I did not tell my SO, who I ended up marrying and with whom I shared many other secrets. By that time, I was “built” to keep my crossdressing hidden. Many times I’d try to put it away and think “it’s just a phase.” But the reality is it’s not a phase; it’s a permanent part of my life. It’s something I enjoy doing. I can’t pinpoint why I like it, but the point is, it’s there.
But this is why I hid it. It’s not that I didn’t trust my SO, even though that is what it seems like. Society brought us up that way in the 20th century. Nowadays, in my kids’ era, crossdressing is pretty acceptable among the right group of people. Finding resources is easier due to the internet, and people are not as closeted as they once were. More people find it acceptable as society, today in the 21st century, mostly allows people to be who they want to be. I see guys wearing sports bras at the amusement park, and guys with beards wearing makeup as a style, which I myself have tried and like. Tight clothing has become a thing of the past as being a women’s style only. I was recently able to buy a pair of stretchy tight pants at the store, in the men’s section. Sometimes I wish I had been born about 20 years later because these things are more acceptable now. It would have been a lot easier to communicate it to my SO, but then if I was born 20 years later I would not have met the woman I am so dearly in love with and will hopefully live the rest of my life. She makes me happy and I cannot see a future without her.
Eventually, my SO became aware of my crossdressing and out of respect for her, I now have my own clothing and my own makeup. I do not dress in front of her, as she is not yet ready to see me. A couple years into it, and she is still processing. I felt it was very important to let her know that betrayal of trust is the last thing I wanted. I have no intention of leaving. Just because I like dressing as a woman does not mean I like men. I am very much attracted to women. I enjoy being a guy, and taking on the role of the protector and the strong father, even though I might be wearing a pair of panties underneath it all or dressed in full role reversal in the bedroom.
And on a late night walk, I pity the fool who thinks he is going to harass a couple ladies walking together.
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- Why I Kept my Cross Dressing Hidden - July 19, 2018
Thanx for your article Cindy! Very refreshing to rad this especially that I can relate to many thing you spoke about! Hugs!
You are so pretty
Beautiful reflection, Cindy. I and many other “confused men” share your story and your duality. –Lara