Dreaming of a World Without Gender Roles

I have a dream. I’d like to see society move beyond gender roles and and become genderless. In such a world, you could go out in public wearing clothing which allowed you to be yourself, and people would respect you for being yourself.

In the animal world, there are examples of non-binary gender everywhere. I believe homo-sapiens used to be this way several thousand years ago, and there are still some places in the world where there are multiple or non-binary genders. It is only in the last few thousand years it seems, that  rigid gender roles have been created. I don’t want to touch too much on why this happened, because it may have a lot to do with one or more of the three forbidden topics we try to avoid here at CDH.

There are four components which make up how an individual is perceived in our society.

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First is biological sex. This is is what makes up your chromosomes. It is NOT binary. There are the predominant two: XX (Genetic Girls or GG’s), XY (Genetic Boys, or GB’s). In addition there are a whole alphabet soup of others: X0, XXX, XYY, XXXXX, XXY, XXXY [3].

Second is gender identity.  Draw a line between male and female. Put the line anywhere in a 3 dimensional space. Imagine there are an infinite number of points on that line between male and female. Choose a point. This is the gender you perceive yourself to be. It is also not binary. You may feel 100% male, 100% female, somewhere in-between, or not even on the line.

Third is gender presentation. This is how you want the world to perceive you if you were to be yourself outside of gender roles. Some may wish to present in a way which agrees with your gender identity, and others may present in ways which differ from their gender identity. Again, there are an infinite number of points to choose from between masculine and feminine gender presentations.

Fourth is preference for a mate; so-called sexual preference. Again there are no invalid choices here, just an infinite number of possibilities.

Given all of the variance afforded above, each one of us is truly unique. We should be proud of that fact.

I am beginning to see something stirring. There has been a lot of talk recently about our community in the news, and in popular culture. I am hoping that my dream of a genderless society will become true someday, and that I’m still around when it does.

There is much work left to due to realize this dream. We need to enlighten the general populace that our community is made up of people which are just as important to society functioning normally as other members of society. We need to tell our children that it is OK for girls to play with trucks, and boys to play with dolls. We need to show that we are not just some obscure sect in society which can just be ignored. For too long, mainstream society has treated us like freaks, ridiculed us,  or committed acts of violence against us. Maybe, just maybe, this is starting to change.


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Stephanie Q

I'm a techie who crossdresses. I wanted to dress when I was in high school, but could not. Once I could afford my own apartment, I started "experimenting". First it was nylons and heels, and it quickly progressed to skirts and dresses.
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  1. Profile photo of Lucinda Hawkns
    Lucinda Hawkns 2 months ago

    that would be great would with out gender issues, then we can come out of the closet and dress up and go out just like women would. show our feminine side and how we also can be pretty. i would love that so much just to go out and be happy with out having people see me and call me names or what ever the case may be, so what we dress up as females. woman wear manly cloths

  2. zena simmons 3 months ago

    By way girl’s don’t mean leave y’all in dark I would post my pic or more but can’t seem figure out how put on here]zena

  3. zena simmons 3 months ago

    Yes that would be great dream to come life to be able go bout dressed within ourselves but as always somewhere or somehow there’s gonna be someone doesn’t like it or disargrees with what your doing possiblely trying hurt us and be wanting us out of way it’s best we carrie on way were doing or direction going in}zena

  4. Profile photo of Stefanie
    Stefanie 3 months ago

    I have a didferent take
    Do want genderless or acceptance
    That there are multiple genders
    And infinite combinations and presentations of that
    I think we want the latter

  5. Profile photo of Eddy
    Eddy 4 months ago

    Hopeful your dream will come true for all of us.

  6. isis 4 months ago

    gracias stephanie interesante opinion. Para ello es necesario cambiar el concepto hombre/mujer por el comcepto persona, y que veamos a los otros asi. y despues cambiar a una estetica no seleciva para hombre/ para mujer, y por ultimo eliminar el concepto de los roles sociales hombre/mujer.

    • Profile photo of Stephanie Q Author
      Stephanie Q 4 months ago

      “To do this, it is necessary to change the concept of man / woman by the individual concept, and to see others as such. And then change to a non-selective aesthetic for men / women, and finally eliminate the concept of social roles for men and women”

      Thanks for the comment Isis!


  7. Profile photo of Joyce
    Joyce 4 months ago

    It’s a wonderful dream however when we chose to live and think “outside the norm” then be prepared for unfair treatment. As much of a challenge as it is, it’s still worth it though, to feel happiness.

    • Profile photo of Stephanie Q Author
      Stephanie Q 4 months ago

      There’s still a lot of work to do to get there, but I’m beginning to see that it is changing.


  8. Profile photo of stacey  s
    stacey s 4 months ago

    Yes , Stephanie what a wonderful world it would be !
    Stacey s

  9. Profile photo of Kayla Jameson
    Kayla Jameson 4 months ago

    Thank you for such a thought provoking article. We will be accepted when people are willing to let go of any prejudices based on differences.

  10. Profile photo of MacKenzie Alexandra
    MacKenzie Alexandra 4 months ago


    I too share this dream. I would like to live my life and let others live their lives. I respect their feelings and choices whether I agree with them and want my feelings and choices to be respected. Perhaps, one day, I will be able to experience such a world.


  11. Profile photo of Tammy Girl
    Tammy Girl 4 months ago

    That would be so nice

  12. Profile photo of Jaimelynn
    Jaimelynn 4 months ago

    Thanks Stephanie,

    I think this is why Prince was so popular and accepted for presenting himself to the world as he wanted to be…accepted on basis of his musical talents, comfortable with himself as he was…and world be damned if he was a man dressing in feminine tailored styled clothes, and feminine makeup. Most would agree he was genuine and true to himself…and respected for it in spite of how odd he appeared to some. It was who he was.

    Most of his critics could not hold a candle to him while he was here as a musical genius, guitar virtuoso, and plowing new ground in the world of music.

    Most of us not being to place, win, or show when it comes to talent like his…will have to stay in the shadows and fringes of society till your world dream materializes.

    Way the ball bounces I guess.

    Echoing what others here say…CDH made me comfortable in my own skin as well and accepting myself for what I am…be that good, bad, or indifferent, depending on the communities we reside in.

  13. Profile photo of April (Pacific Princess)

    Mainstream society is overrated Steph. I think if we are comfortable in our own skins society will see that, and will respond accordingly. All I know is that this site and people like you have helped me to accept who I am. Hopefully society at large will come to accept us too.


  14. Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)
    skippy1965(Cynthia) 4 months ago

    Well said Stephanie! Hopefully this will happen within our lifetimes but if not then then in my children’s lifetimes.


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