I have written many articles for these amazing sites that Vanessa has created to support and nourish the CD/TG community. (If you are a member of CDH, you can read them by clicking this link below.)
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/members/skippy1965/articles/
Just recently, I read two similar but slightly different quotes, which touched me deeply. I want to share them with y’all in the hope that just maybe they might inspire you and encourage you to help others in our community, and society in general, to understand and accept us as a vibrant and valuable part of the amazing tapestry of life.
The first quote was from a graduation/motivational speech by the comedian Jim Carrey (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAzTIOy0ID0 ) and the part that struck a chord for me was,
“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”
Too often, the only images of our community the world sees are ones where we are seen as freaks or deviants – as seen in some movies and crime shows or in hard core porn sites. What many have never seen or even realized is that we’re just like anyone else in society-we laugh; we cry; we hope; we dream; we live; we die. The only difference is we do those things while not following the societal gender roles that restrict so many others. By allowing the world to see that we in the community are their parents, their kids, or their friends and that how we present ourselves doesn’t change WHO we are. We hasten the day where the lines that divide and separate us from society as a whole are erased, and we are seen not as objects to be gawked at but as people. I challenge each of us –to the extent we are able to do so given our desires and life circumstances-to live our lives as authentically as we can, and to NOT be invisible. You may be the reason that just one person is able to break free from the chains that hold them down and to help change the world one person at a time.
(I wrote about this here at https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/overcoming-our-deepest-fear/ )
The second quote –attributed to many different folks but first elucidated by Edward Everett Hale,
“I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything
But I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
I see the many things others are doing and think, “How am I helping to change the world for the better?” My main role on Crossdresser Heaven and Transgender Heaven is greeting our new members. It seems like such a small role I sometimes wonder if I contribute anything meaningful. But then I read the above quote and it makes me think about the many small roles we all play. The way I felt when I first joined CDH five years ago and in the way I was welcomed by Codille and Vanessa comes to mind. Despite being an intensely shy and introverted person, and the fact that I was risking everything by finally admitting to myself who I was, the warmth engendered in those first days on site by those simple words of welcome let me know that I was truly welcomed, and that I wasn’t a freak. I’d found a home-a place where I could be free to be who I am without fear or shame. Over these last five years, I’ve gained confidence to the point where most of my friends know about Cyn. They accept that I am who I am BECAUSE of that part of me. Although my role here may not seem glamorous or showy, I realize that I DO make a difference, even if it’s only a small one.
So now I challenge you to ask yourself, “What can I do?” For a variety of reasons, we each have different circumstances and different end goals in sight for expressing the side of ourselves we have kept hidden for so many years. But despite those differences, each of us CAN make a difference-small though it may seem. We need only answer that question and then act on it to the best extent we can. And when we do, then a day when we are ALL judged not by how we express our gender identity but by the ENTIRE person we truly are may be far closer than we ever thought possible! I wrote the below four years ago, and it seems appropriate to reprise it here.
The Future Begins with Us!
I held my nephew in my arms amazed at what I saw-
Such beauty, love and sweetness-not a solitary flaw.
The slate is blank, the beach of life unmarked with any prints-
No hate or prejudice at all –just joy and innocence.
I thought of all the things that could impinge upon this baby-
The bad parts of society but then I thought just maybe
That he could be the one to change the way that people think!
And take a world that’s making strides and push it to the brink.
Where who you are attracted to or how you feel inside
Is nothing to be ‘shamed of or to feel you have to hide.
Where all can live their lives as who they’re always meant to be
Regardless if that fits what we perceive as he or she.
The mightiest of movements start from someone saying “NO!
I won’t allow a phobia to land a single blow!
For all are worthy of our love and none deserve our scorn-
And each is just as precious as this boy who’s just been born.
So as I gaze upon my nephew’s beatific face,
I pray that God will grant me just a little of His grace.
And that the change I just described may truly come to be
For all of it CAN happen-it is up to you and me!
Let THIS be the generation that changes the attitudes and beliefs of the world towards the TG community.
Cyn
More Articles by skippy1965 Cynthia
- Will We Remember? Memorial Day 2023
- Esprit 2022-Return to the Magic
- Mother’s Day 2022
- What the Chat Room can do-Reprise
- Fallen but never forgotten
skippy1965 Cynthia
Latest posts by skippy1965 Cynthia (see all)
- Will We Remember? Memorial Day 2023 - May 24, 2023
- Esprit 2022-Return to the Magic - June 25, 2022
- Mother’s Day 2022 - May 4, 2022
- What the Chat Room can do-Reprise - February 11, 2022
- Fallen but never forgotten - May 26, 2021
So beautifully written, and thought provoking for many of us!!
Thanks Dawnie!
Wonderful Cyn. Great quotes and lovely thoughts in the article. I have to remind myself at times that doing even a little is a step beyond doing nothing. I also remember a certain person in Richmond making me feel very welcome when I first came upon this wonderful site.
You invited me out to Esprit back for 2017 and that was the second of six conferences and an impetus for numerous weekend trips I have made. Sad as I am that Esprit’s not happening in 2021 again, I DI Allan to bust WA later this year to see you and all the PNW ladies
A very interesting and thought provoking piece, and it brings many thoughts to my mind. I’ll share only a few. First, about the last, a baby. When we announced our first pregnancy an old family friend asked us, “Why on Earth would you want to bring a child into the world as it is now?" This was very early 90’s. Economic turmoil then as there has been since then. Plus all the bad things one hears in the news every day, makes it terrible, but there always has been evil in the world. There is the opposite thought, as the… Read more »
Thanks Amy. I did want to be certain that no one who for whatever reason can’t or doesn’t want to be out in the world doesn’t feel that I am calling them out. Even those who only dress privately can help other here on the site with their advice and companionship.
Thank you Cyn Your attention and unending willingness to be there greeting our newest members still astounds me. I can tell you for certain that, Yes, that initial contact does indeed make a difference, it did for me. I am only one, as you say, and I remember being that shy and afraid person. I do what I can as a singular, being out there living my best life, being approachable and willing to have an honest conversation with almost anyone about being a crossdresser. It may not be alot, but I know I have touched some and widened the… Read more »
Thanks Olivia. I DO get some incredibly poignant and humbling notes from quite a few of the people I greet so it is my honor to continue the duty I began way back in 2015 trying to greet all or nearly all of our new members.
You said it well Cyn. Conformity is a powerful weapon to keep people in their place nodding yes while feeling no. When I feel good about something I look around and wonder if someone else is feeling bad and I am careful to suggest that my way is the only way or best way. Crossdressing has made me more empathetic because acceptance and authenticity is so valuable and I cherish it for me and for others. And the other quote and your thought goes with MLK “There is never a wrong time to do a right thing" (I may not… Read more »
I do like that quote too. Another good one is : Character is what you do when no one is looking.
Fantastic article Cyn
Thanks Rhonda!
Hi skippy i just love u for this hugs tx
You are too kind!
Cynthia, again thank you so much for sharing all your kind and thoughtful thoughts.
Barbra
Your welcome! I am honored and humbled by your words!
Cyn