Finally the long awaited (or at least long promised) follow up article to January’s Coming out to your Significant Other (SO)
As with that article, this is written from the perspective of a genetic female (GG) with a male to female (MTF) cross dressing partner. Whilst the first article was addressed to the cross-dresser, this one is addressed to the Significant Other.
Assuming that the issues raised therein can be resolved to a point where the couple decides to continue as a couple, the wife / girlfriend / spouse may be pleasantly surprised at some of the “side-effects” of her partner’s new found freedom to express “herself” more openly. One of the fears that is often stated is “Where did my husband go?”. The reality is… nowhere. They are still the same person you always knew, simply freed up from having to suppress a fair portion of themselves.
One of the first benefits to be felt may well be that you notice your CD partner takes a much greater interest in fashion, make up and appearance in general… Yours and their own. When going out for the evening and asking “How do I look?” no longer should you expect “Yeah, Great. Let’s go”. In fact you will be much more likely to receive an honest opinion so be prepared for the occasional “I think that other dress suits you better”, “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in those other shoes?” or “Don’t you think a dress is more appropriate than slacks tonight?”. It’s all good. Your partner is taking a much more active interest in your appearance and usually will take into consideration how you look together, as a couple. You will possibly notice that they are also taking more time with their own appearance. This is not to say that all men are slobs, but if you are a closet cross dresser, sometimes it is useful to be a bit cavalier with your appearance in drab mode to avoid raising any suspicions.
Another effect you may notice is that he is now more than happy to accompany you when shopping for clothes, make up and accessories. No longer should you expect “Ok, I’ll be in the auto /stereo section when you’re finished”. Again, you will probably be overwhelmed with advice on style, colour, fabric and what goes with what. Additionally, you are unlikely to get the impatient “Are we done yet?” Don’t be surprised if you are the one who is ready to leave first. Enjoy this time shared, shop for both of you and don’t be shy to offer advice on “her” outfits.
Having the freedom to be more openly in touch with the “Inner Woman” you may well notice in your partner an increased sensitivity, or at least a more obvious display of emotions that had previously been suppressed and perhaps an awakening of others . This can lead to all sorts of tangible benefits, not the least of which is an ability for you both to communicate on issues that previously may have been off the agenda or in the “too hard” basket. This is a great opportunity for you to ask those questions that still remain. You will find that the relief from not having to be “in the closet” means that “she” will be more than happy to answer and assuage any remaining misgiving you may have.
Then you may well find that you start going for manicures and pedicures together (this is probably my favourite part) and for other beauty treatments. Again, expect to be consulted on colour and be prepared to reciprocate. There is nothing better than sitting in the massage chairs and being pampered, together.
From this cross-dresser’s perspective, all the feminine things we like to do are better when shared… and even more so when shared with the one we love.
This is by no means a complete summary of all the benefits of embracing your partner’s cross dressing. It is merely the headlines. But there is one other important benefit that is perhaps less obvious and often overlooked. It is extremely unlikely that an accepteted and supported cross dresser will stray from the relationship. You need never fear “the other woman”. She lives with you both and she wants to be your best friend. She certainly doesn’t want to steal your man. If you find this hard to believe, just ask her.
Absolutely spot on Maxine, i have been so desperate to go shopping with my wife and last week we went together. She was concerned that it might upset me that we were shopping for her. she asked if i was alright. My reply was that i was having the time of my life. As i searched the clothes racks looking for things that would look good on her……..lol. So looking forward to shopping with her again.
Hi Abbie,
I am so glad that you enjoyed the article.
Sharing the simple things is often the best.
I used to hate shopping with a passion, but now it’s usually Tanya that is ready to leave first. I don’t understand it, I just know that it is.
Enjoy your precious time together.
hi Maxine great artile my wife has already told me that she sees these new thins in me and she embraces them i did’nt like to shop befre ether and now i’m now i’m the last one who wants to leave the pedicure annd nails sounds like fun my wife has it done all the time i’ll ask if i can go with her next time and share the experince. wowi ‘m so excited i can’t wait for her to get home paece and lots of hugs Rhae
Hi Rhae,
I’m glad that you & your wife could get something from the article.
I feel that the secret of success is to be inclusive. The more you can do together, the more time you spend together doing things that you both enjoy, the better for your relationship.
thanks maxine oh by the way she made the apointmen for us to get pedicures and our nails done we are very excited about this exspessualy me thanks again peace and lots of hugs Rhae
Enjoy Rhae!
I love the pedicures. Those massage chairs are the best!
my wife and i went for a pedi together she picked the color
awesome experirence
Hi Stephanie,
Tanya & I always go together and it is an awesome experience.
Nowadays the girls just treat me the same as any other customer and other customers are starting to chit-chat with me instead of about me.
I guess the novelty (for them) has worn off.
Agter opening to my wife 2 days ago and her being so understanding and supportive (so far I dont want to overwhelm her) her and I went panties shopping for me last night and for the first time since we’ve been married I did not feel bored or annoyed. In fact, I had fun and now we’re planning a weekend to trear our selves together.
Maxine,
I loved your humor in this piece.