On the average, I present my female self out in the community two times a week. As a result, over the last five years that I have gone completely femme in public, there have been numerous experiences interfacing with the public.

Is any outing typical?  No, but many are non events, and to me, that means I was just seen as another woman, doing whatever is expected of a woman in a given place, situation, or set of circumstances.

Byron is the autistic guy that works in the produce department at a Kroger.  He is a very quiet person, more like withdrawn from the world around him.  In male mode, I don’t exist, but when I am presenting as a female, Byron gets a smile on his face and makes small talk with me.  If I can contribute toward making someone’s day a good day, then it is a win-win situation for both of us.  On other days, I spend an hour shopping in Kroger and no one notices me.  Good, I blended right in.

And yes, there are the very rare negative experiences.  The panhandler in Glover Park spots me and begins shouting, “he’s a man, he’s a man.”  I tell him “yes, I am,” but it does no good.  He’s spaced out on alcohol or something else.  Why does he do this?  It all started last year, when he hit me up for money.  Instead of cash, I offered him free vouchers from a local homeless shelter, which would provide him with safe warm bed, food, and new clothes.  He wants cash only.  Vouchers will not purchase alcohol or illegal substances.  I have since learned he actually lives with relatives, but they will not furnish him with alcohol or illegal substances.  Thus, the need to hustle the public for cash.

The number of nice people cancel out the rare negative experience.  I was taking selfies at the park fountain one day, and a young woman with her boyfriend offered to take the photos for me.

Since I am alcoholic, I do not frequent bars unless I’m going with a group of other CDs.  Returning to our table from the ladies’ room one evening, I was asked by a drunk who had been making loud remarks about our group if my wife was aware I dressed like a woman.  I pointed to the small brunette sitting at the end of our table and told the drunk to go ask her. That took the wind out of his crude question.

Creative thinking can turn around negative or uncomfortable situations quickly.  Elderly people will often stare, because they most likely know only a binary presentation of gender.  A few kind words will give them assurance that we are people, like anyone else.  Sometimes, I will go so far as to make myself the subject of a joke.  “When is the last time you saw a guy who looked as pretty as me”?

I am married and my wife is supportive which is why I am cautious in the rare case I encounter a woman who is obviously turned on by a man who cross dresses.  It is rare and it is also tempting but I am completely faithful to my wife.  Where were these women back in my single days?

I live in a very large city and the area surrounding the metropolitan area is huge. Moreover, Atlanta is considered a LGBT friendly city.  I have little to no experience in rural areas but have heard reports of them being less welcoming than large cities.  On the way to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee last year, I stopped to use the rest room at one of those combination fuel and convenience stores.  It was in the boondocks, and I did get a few stares.  My usual friendly “hello” was greeted with cold looks.  That’s a good reminder for me to be thankful I live in a large CD friendly urban area.

EnFemme Style

Going out in public with members of my support group is for me a great way to share the sisterhood of cross dressing.  It is also an opportunity to show the public we dress and act like ladies.  For the new girl who’s thinking about going out in public for her very first time, her first steps out in public cross dressed need not be so stressful. If she is in a group of sisters who will support and encourage her all the way and all day long, her first outing would be so much more enjoyable.

Here in Atlanta, my support group is well known at many restaurants, as well as other venues such as plays, concerts, sporting events, etc.  I find it amazing how often people will approach the group, wanting to know more about us or just to compliment us on how pretty all the girls are!

By writing this article, I hope to have encouraged more girls to get out there in public and be the whole person you know you are.  Being 100% passable is not possible for most of us, however, it is a goal to at least strive for, just don’t let it stop you from getting out in public.  You are cross dressing for your benefit and not for someone else!

Some men play golf, we play girl and we have a blast!

Do any of you girls who have not been out en femme in public have plans on going out within the next six months or so?

On your first time out are you going out by flying solo or are you making plans to go out with another cross dresser or a group of them in order to feel more comfortable on your first time out?

Where do you plan to go on your first night out with your total girl on?

Assuming you are ready to go out in public en femme, what specifically is stopping you?

Many hugs from Peggy Sue

 

 

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    Peggy Sue Williams

    Lifelong heterosexual CD, completely out of the closet. Earliest memory is of getting into my mother's cosmetics and wearing her high heels, maybe at four years of age. With assistance of two girls who lived across the street (one was a frequent visitor), I sometimes dressed completely as a girl, starting at age five. Wife was aware of me being a CD, when we first married. She is supportive. Served in the U.S. Navy for 22 years active duty, employed later in civilian life as an electronics engineer. Now fully retired. Served on the administrative board of the local Tri-ESS chapter, until the chapter lost direction and purpose, after a Queen Bee managed to dominate the group. Long time members resigned large numbers, allowing Queen Bee to make the chapter her personal fun club.

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    Rochelle Mills
    Baroness
    Active Member
    2 years ago

    Peggy Sue, thank you for the wonderful article. I have been fortunate meeting some great GFs through this website in my northern neck of the US woods. I started by attending CD-focused events and outings to LGBTQ venues. I gradually became comfortable venturing out into the quote “real” world for regular female activities. Occasionally just my wife and I will go out together, but more often than not I go out with one or more CD friends. I am thankful for the supportive CDH members who have provided great suggestions and helpful insights for tapping into my femme self.

    Rochelle Mills
    Baroness
    Active Member
    2 years ago

    Absolutely! Enjoy your next GNO!

    Carolyn Kay
    Baroness
    Active Member
    2 years ago

    Hi Peggy, great article, lots of information all of us can use. Your quick response to the drunk in the bar made me think of something that happened to me. I went shopping dressed in very androgynous clothing, nice print top, shirts, and sandals. While I was in a store a lady looked st me and said you do know your buttons are on the wrong side! I looked back and said – no, I am left handed – and walked away.
    Carolyn

    Phylliss Ann
    2 years ago

    Wonderful article Peggy Sue. You look beautiful and I like your ensemble. I also appreciate your comments regarding rural verse metropolitan. I live in rural WV and one does need to be careful.

    Monica Latina
    Member
    2 years ago

    Hi Peggy; I really liked your article, if it is not too much trouble, please send me the link to buy that wonderful book you are talking about, I am new to this “CD world” and I need help to be myself.
     

    Joanne Watters
    Joanne Watters
    2 years ago

    Hi Peggy Sue, what a great article & I love your look, you are very lucky to have a wife that is as accepting as you do. Myself on the other hand, I am not as fortunate as you, my hates my being Joanne, when I first came home with my ears pierced & my eyebrows waxed into thin, highly arched lines, she went bonkers then when I go out as Joanne, all she cares about is, what if the neighbors see you. I don’t care about neighbors seeing me, I go out in the yard all of the time… Read more »

    Jill Harris
    Member
    1 year ago

    Fantastic advice. I wish I lived closer to Atlanta, I would ask to join your support group.

    Alicia C
    Active Member
    10 months ago

    Thanks ! maybe my best affirmation event happened a couple months ago. In a LGBTQ bar, went to walk into girls room as I should, only to get yelled at by friends mother who was 1 from the front of the line. She was all pretty new to the scene of CD/Trans, had just really come to accept her son as gay, but wasn’t letting me cut to the front, how ever accidentally !

    Kerri Smith
    Active Member
    29 days ago

    I would love to meet another tgirl like myself for coffee and chatting at a Starbucks in Rockford, I would feel more confident with a friend.
    Kerri

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