On the average, I present my female self out in the community two times a week. As a result, over the last five years that I have gone completely femme in public, there have been numerous experiences interfacing with the public.
Is any outing typical? No, but many are non events, and to me, that means I was just seen as another woman, doing whatever is expected of a woman in a given place, situation, or set of circumstances.
Byron is the autistic guy that works in the produce department at a Kroger. He is a very quiet person, more like withdrawn from the world around him. In male mode, I don’t exist, but when I am presenting as a female, Byron gets a smile on his face and makes small talk with me. If I can contribute toward making someone’s day a good day, then it is a win-win situation for both of us. On other days, I spend an hour shopping in Kroger and no one notices me. Good, I blended right in.
And yes, there are the very rare negative experiences. The panhandler in Glover Park spots me and begins shouting, “he’s a man, he’s a man.” I tell him “yes, I am,” but it does no good. He’s spaced out on alcohol or something else. Why does he do this? It all started last year, when he hit me up for money. Instead of cash, I offered him free vouchers from a local homeless shelter, which would provide him with safe warm bed, food, and new clothes. He wants cash only. Vouchers will not purchase alcohol or illegal substances. I have since learned he actually lives with relatives, but they will not furnish him with alcohol or illegal substances. Thus, the need to hustle the public for cash.
The number of nice people cancel out the rare negative experience. I was taking selfies at the park fountain one day, and a young woman with her boyfriend offered to take the photos for me.
Since I am alcoholic, I do not frequent bars unless I’m going with a group of other CDs. Returning to our table from the ladies’ room one evening, I was asked by a drunk who had been making loud remarks about our group if my wife was aware I dressed like a woman. I pointed to the small brunette sitting at the end of our table and told the drunk to go ask her. That took the wind out of his crude question.
Creative thinking can turn around negative or uncomfortable situations quickly. Elderly people will often stare, because they most likely know only a binary presentation of gender. A few kind words will give them assurance that we are people, like anyone else. Sometimes, I will go so far as to make myself the subject of a joke. “When is the last time you saw a guy who looked as pretty as me”?
I am married and my wife is supportive which is why I am cautious in the rare case I encounter a woman who is obviously turned on by a man who cross dresses. It is rare and it is also tempting but I am completely faithful to my wife. Where were these women back in my single days?
I live in a very large city and the area surrounding the metropolitan area is huge. Moreover, Atlanta is considered a LGBT friendly city. I have little to no experience in rural areas but have heard reports of them being less welcoming than large cities. On the way to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee last year, I stopped to use the rest room at one of those combination fuel and convenience stores. It was in the boondocks, and I did get a few stares. My usual friendly “hello” was greeted with cold looks. That’s a good reminder for me to be thankful I live in a large CD friendly urban area.
Going out in public with members of my support group is for me a great way to share the sisterhood of cross dressing. It is also an opportunity to show the public we dress and act like ladies. For the new girl who’s thinking about going out in public for her very first time, her first steps out in public cross dressed need not be so stressful. If she is in a group of sisters who will support and encourage her all the way and all day long, her first outing would be so much more enjoyable.
Here in Atlanta, my support group is well known at many restaurants, as well as other venues such as plays, concerts, sporting events, etc. I find it amazing how often people will approach the group, wanting to know more about us or just to compliment us on how pretty all the girls are!
By writing this article, I hope to have encouraged more girls to get out there in public and be the whole person you know you are. Being 100% passable is not possible for most of us, however, it is a goal to at least strive for, just don’t let it stop you from getting out in public. You are cross dressing for your benefit and not for someone else!
Some men play golf, we play girl and we have a blast!
Do any of you girls who have not been out en femme in public have plans on going out within the next six months or so?
On your first time out are you going out by flying solo or are you making plans to go out with another cross dresser or a group of them in order to feel more comfortable on your first time out?
Where do you plan to go on your first night out with your total girl on?
Assuming you are ready to go out in public en femme, what specifically is stopping you?
Many hugs from Peggy Sue