Have you ever gotten the best of both worlds, without even knowing it? That’s what happened to me when I met my husband nearly two years ago.
I’m a straight woman who loves men, but I’d had my heart broken twice: once when my husband of 21 years died suddenly and once when I foolishly married a mean alcoholic while still grieving. With no place left to turn, I started over. I moved to a new city, took a new job, made new friends…. Life was good.
Then I met Prince Charming. One day at work, the man of my dreams walked into a conference room and straight into my heart. To say it was love at first sight is a severe understatement! He was widowed; very powerful and successful in a male-dominated field; tall, smart, sexy, handsome — the complete package. Amazingly, he fell in love with me, too. We married less than a year after we met.
My husband was very inexperienced sexually. He’d married his college sweetheart and was faithful to her until she died. He dropped hints that she had been very straight-laced and that sex with her had been plain, rare and unadventurous — the opposite of me. I helped my husband open up sexually — and wow! Did he open up!
About two months ago, he suddenly asked if we could be intimate while he wore my panties. (I’m into lingerie and have quite a collection.) I of course said yes. It was fun… and then it snowballed. Suddenly, my ripped, former-triathlete husband wanted to dress in my panties, stockings and silk robes every time we were intimate. Well, er, OK. Then he wanted to shop for lingerie for himself online. I dutifully helped him pick sizes and colors, all the while freaking out.
I’m adventurous, but had I married a gay man? Was Mr. Master of the Universe really Mrs. Doubtfire? Into the internet I plunged and found Crossdresser Heaven. Thank heaven! Here and on other sites I learned not to fear my husband’s feelings and desires. He’s not gay, he’s not a freak, he’s not bored, and he’s not going to become transgender. I learned that many men have a feminine side or feel like women inside but never have had the freedom or confidence in their marriage to show it.
That’s the case with my husband. He’s 100 percent into women and loves my beauty and sexiness as a women. As he puts it, he could almost be a lesbian, because he loves women, but he also feels that he has a feminine side.
I won’t say this hasn’t been an adjustment for me. Seeing my broad-shouldered husband in lipstick and lingerie took some getting used to, and I still like him best in his guy guise. But some great things came along with accepting my husband as he is.
First, we are totally open and honest with each other. He can tell me his feelings and desires and is grateful that I don’t freak out. Second, nurturing his feminine side has helped our marriage. He always has been a loving, kind, sensitive man, but I now recognize that those are his feminine qualities. Honoring the woman in him has made him even more loving and tender towards me. Third, it’s helped me realize that I love my husband completely — all parts of him, not just the ones that fit the “tall, handsome, athletic man” stereotype. Finally, it’s sort of fun having a husband AND a best girlfriend!
I don’t know where this journey will lead. My husband says he has no desire to ever fully cross-dress, go out in public as a woman, or transition. He loves being a powerful man — but a man who from time to time likes to dress as a beautiful, soft, sexy, feminine woman who is my love slave.
One thing I know for sure: wherever this path takes us, I will always love my Prince AND Princess Charming!