Have you ever gotten the best of both worlds, without even knowing it? That’s what happened to me when I met my husband nearly two years ago.

I’m a straight woman who loves men, but I’d had my heart broken twice: once when my husband of 21 years died suddenly and once when I foolishly married a mean alcoholic while still grieving. With no place left to turn, I started over. I moved to a new city, took a new job, made new friends…. Life was good.

Then I met Prince Charming. One day at work, the man of my dreams walked into a conference room and straight into my heart. To say it was love at first sight is a severe understatement! He was widowed; very powerful and successful in a male-dominated field; tall, smart, sexy, handsome — the complete package. Amazingly, he fell in love with me, too. We married less than a year after we met.

My husband was very inexperienced sexually. He’d married his college sweetheart and was faithful to her until she died. He dropped hints that she had been very straight-laced and that sex with her had been plain, rare and unadventurous — the opposite of me. I helped my husband open up sexually — and wow! Did he open up!

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About two months ago, he suddenly asked if we could be intimate while he wore my panties. (I’m into lingerie and have quite a collection.) I of course said yes. It was fun… and then it snowballed. Suddenly, my ripped, former-triathlete husband wanted to dress in my panties, stockings and silk robes every time we were intimate. Well, er, OK. Then he wanted to shop for lingerie for himself online. I dutifully helped him pick sizes and colors, all the while freaking out.

I’m adventurous, but had I married a gay man? Was Mr. Master of the Universe really Mrs. Doubtfire? Into the internet I plunged and found Crossdresser Heaven. Thank heaven! Here and on other sites I learned not to fear my husband’s feelings and desires. He’s not gay, he’s not a freak, he’s not bored, and he’s not going to become transgender. I learned that many men have a feminine side or feel like women inside but never have had the freedom or confidence in their marriage to show it.

That’s the case with my husband. He’s 100 percent into women and loves my beauty and sexiness as a women. As he puts it, he could almost be a lesbian, because he loves women, but he also feels that he has a feminine side.

I won’t say this hasn’t been an adjustment for me. Seeing my broad-shouldered husband in lipstick and lingerie took some getting used to, and I still like him best in his guy guise. But some great things came along with accepting my husband as he is.

First, we are totally open and honest with each other. He can tell me his feelings and desires and is grateful that I don’t freak out. Second, nurturing his feminine side has helped our marriage. He always has been a loving, kind, sensitive man, but I now recognize that those are his feminine qualities. Honoring the woman in him has made him even more loving and tender towards me. Third, it’s helped me realize that I love my husband completely — all parts of him, not just the ones that fit the “tall, handsome, athletic man” stereotype. Finally, it’s sort of fun having a husband AND a best girlfriend!

I don’t know where this journey will lead. My husband says he has no desire to ever fully cross-dress, go out in public as a woman, or transition. He loves being a powerful man — but a man who from time to time likes to dress as a beautiful, soft, sexy, feminine woman who is my love slave.

One thing I know for sure: wherever this path takes us, I will always love my Prince AND Princess Charming!

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    Lynne Lovecraft

    Genetic woman married to an amazing man whom I love dearly who recently shared his cross-dressing desires and his feminine side. Here to learn and get support on this new path, which has been amazing so far!

    Latest posts by Lynne Lovecraft (see all)

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    Vecca Senn
    Lady
    Member
    3 years ago

    Lynne, from those of us who have accepting and supporting significant others, THANK YOU! I know my wife makes my life easier and more complete with her open, kind, loving, and accepting heart. I know without a doubt that your husband must feel the same way.

    Grace Wache
    Member
    Member
    3 years ago

    I’m new here, I feel like a crazy person “lurking” about and reading endless articles. Just trying to understand CD and what it means to him. My husband is a CD. I’ve known about it, he had to stop for a long time due to things outside of our control and has recently admitted to me that he needs this part of him. I am trying so hard to always be loving, kind, understanding but in the inside I feel like I am dying. Like my hearts been ripped out and I’ve lost my other half. He is my whole… Read more »

    Cissy Smith
    Lady
    2 years ago
    Reply to  Grace Wache

    Grace. Great comments and great perspectives. I don’t think that you are alone at all with this. My wife has said the exact same things and shares those same fears. I’ve said in many posts that it doesn’t appear that little girls dream of marrying a cross dresser when they grow up and become of age. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It kind of goes the stereotypical route of what Lynne said in her perspective given above. She had been married a couple of times and then, in comes “prince charming" into the boardroom and she was smitten by… Read more »

    Grace Wache
    Member
    Member
    2 years ago
    Reply to  Chuck

    Hi Cissy, Thank you for your reply. I’ve been off of here for a while to try and wrap my head around everything and get my anxiety somewhat under control. That’s going so so LOL. I’ve learned though that talking to each other about this is KEY. Absolutely KEY to navigating this “newish” path. Am I still scared? Most definitely- I’m just trying to figure out what it is I am scared of. To answer your question, which is one I’ve asked myself A LOT but no I don’t believe it would have changed my feelings for him at all,… Read more »

    Imannn
    Member
    2 years ago
    Reply to  Grace Wache

    You’re not at all alone. I know I’m late with this comment but I had to reply because this really hit home for me. I had similar doubts and I also went to the extent of asking my partner if he was gay or wanted to be a woman, sadly, very abruptly. As partners I feel like it’s alot more important to accept your SO and then try to understand their feelings (because understanding, I feel, takes the longest time) Feeling like you’ve lost your SO is something I also felt for some time, you’re definitely not alone in this… Read more »

    Cissy Smith
    Lady
    2 months ago
    Reply to  Imannn

    that was a great response.  May I ask what is the fear you deal with?  Is it more than one thing?   Is it divorce?   Is it that he’s gay?   Does it make you uncomfortable because it might feel gay to you since he’s dressed up in some level of women’s clothing?

    Jewels Mcloven
    Member
    3 months ago
    Reply to  Grace Wache

    You are not alone and your feelings are important too.
    He does love you and you have the right to question, communication is the most important part of any relationship. You have to trust and completely believe in and work on your relationship everyday. That is ❤️

    Right here with you
    Jewels 💎

    Dani Grand
    Lady
    Active Member
    2 years ago

     
    Excellent for both of you!

    Beth Todd
    Member
    Member
    2 years ago

    Hi I am a new member seeking spouse support. I have been married to a cross dressing fluid male for 37 years. Our journey began 41 years ago. You see I married my high school sweetheart, my best friend the love of my life. As a teenager my husband would unkown to me at the time he w sneek a pair of my undies. I later found out he would wear them and masturbate. He loved the feel of female lingerie anything that made him feel sexy and feminine. We have always had a very active and healthy sexual appetite

    Beth Todd
    Member
    Member
    2 years ago

    Oops i didnt finish my post as I mentioned before our journey began 41 years ago. It has not been easy. At first I thought it was a phase. We have gone through alot of ups and downs over the years. He has had many wardrobes that he has purged and repurchased over the years. I have had so many questions. Was he gay, did he want to transition, what is wrong with me. He has tried to suppress his feelings, feeling perverted and that I was repulsed by him. But that is apart of him and who he is.… Read more »

    Cissy Smith
    Lady
    2 months ago
    Reply to  Beth Todd

    @Beth Todd Beth I am sorry you’re having to deal with this.  I would bet my wife and you could share some commiserating stories.   as many have said on here, they don’t know why they are so hooked on women’s clothing but they are.  I’m one of “they” as well.  I can tell you, if society would allow me to wear more girly things, I most definitely would.  Skirts, lingerie, shoes, blouses, dresses, workout wear and the whole nine yards.  It’s just like catnip to a cat for me and other crossdressers.  I love not only wearing women’s clothing, but… Read more »

    Briana Briana
    Lady
    Member
    1 year ago

    great story.

    Kell Mills
    Member
    10 months ago

    Lynne, so fun to read a similar story to ours. Thank you!

    Julie Day
    Member
    Julie Day
    8 months ago

    Lynne That is wonderful that you love all aspects of your husband. My wife does not support my feminine side and that has caused difficulty in our relationship and to my desire to.express my feminine side. It is always nice to hear the women side of this issue. You are a wonderful women and your husband is lucky to have you as a wife. I hope you continue his feminine side especially if it grows as he discovers his feminine side.

    Jewels Mcloven
    Member
    3 months ago

    I feel exactly like you I have the best of both worlds!

    Alice Black
    Duchess
    Active Member
    2 months ago

    Lynne, Just belatedly discovered your well written article. It was good to read the perspective of a significant other. As for my case, my wife is intellectually disabled and is disturbed that I do this. She discovered it a few years back while looking at my phone and stumbling on to my accessing the CDH site. But she accepts because she is physically disabled and I do virtually everything for her. I am retired, but I am working still because everything is too expensive and my social security and 401K will not last long against all the everyday costs. I… Read more »

    Alice Black
    Duchess
    Active Member
    2 months ago
    Reply to  Alice Black

    One more thing, I used to work in Providence and know it well. Have been to Providence Place and to Waterfire. A fun place.

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