Overcoming “Our Deepest Fear”

I was watching the movie “Coach Carter” today and in it was the quote below (often mistakenly attributed to Nelson Mandela but actually from a motivational speech by Marianne Williamson from 1992)

Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Crossdresser Heaven - Find Your Tribe

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

I was struck by the fact that this is so applicable to those of us who occupy the less common arcs on the gender spectrum. So many of us are afraid to let others see us for who we are̶ fearful of what others might think of us and even in some cases not wanting to let who we are make others uncomfortable around us.

But there are those among our members who refuse to let those fears prevent them from being true to their inner core spirit. For some like Cloé, that can mean transitioning and sharing the story of that transition to help others who might be in similar circumstances. For others like April, it is showing by example that you can express your feminine side without shame or worry about society’s reaction. Still others like Samantha G and Leonara show us how̶ even if we for various reasons are unable to be out openly in the world as we might desire̶ we can still be a positive role model on CDH helping others to be all that they can be. And Let’s not forget our SO members like Kayla and Trisha who love and accept their partners because their love for them is more powerful and important than any approbation from a world that is not always kind to those who don’t toe the line of conformity.

I have the honor of serving on the ambassador team with the above members I have named but there are many other members who likewise exemplify the love and support that were the reasons Vanessa kept this site going after her transition and Codille helped grow the membership from a few hundred to tens of thousands of members-that others could come here to find camaraderie and support and a safe place to be themselves. While it has become a large group, it remains the individual friendships each member makes with others that provide the backbone of support and enable us to share in each other’s joys and help each other through the difficult times.

Thank you to the many of you who have helped me and allowed me the privilege of helping you in some small way. I hope to be able to follow the examples I mentioned above-overcoming my fears as I continue my journey of exploration and becoming whoever I am meant to be.



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  1. Laura Lovett 1 day ago

    Although this is archived, I absolutely love this, Cyn.

    It resonates exactly with where I want my journey to go, and I have already experienced a small taste of what it feels like to give in to the “super power” that guides and is within us all.

    Here’s to all the super women!



  2. SteffieC 5 months ago

    Great article, Cynthia.

  3. Sahi saheli 6 months ago

    I always eagerly wait for the article from Vanessa she is our Goddess incarnate she is our comfort zone we find solace in the site we ever be grateful to her
    Love Sahi saheli

  4. Sahi saheli 6 months ago

    Good Cynthia,
    You are very talented in letting things clear for CD’s like us who are fearful and cannot expose themselves their faminity even if they did they react to their responses.Once it so happened in my case,I happened to visit a nearby town ,stayed in a hotel.After a shower bath I wore bra,panties small skirt lying on the bed unaware of locking the door,the service came in looked eagerly at me I got ashamed because he had nasty gaze at me.And couldn’t come out for few hours.

  5. Samantha G..... 6 months ago

    Thanks Cynthia, my sister from another mister 🙂


  6. Lori Shane 6 months ago

    Thanks cyn, I needed this right now

  7. Tachia 6 months ago

    Stirring and beautiful. Been fighting what I thought was a demon for 60 of my 66 years in this world. Maybe it’s time to be me because I once thought I was the only (freak) in the whole world. Now I know I have a lot of company. Got bless all of my sisters

  8. Shelley Snapdragon 6 months ago

    Cyn that was touching! So meaningful for all us girls. Your making my journey easier thank you!
    Hugs Shelley

  9. Cloé (CC) 6 months ago

    Cynthia, I am honored to call you my friend. Fear is not limited to this area of life called gender. Overcoming it is every bit as much a struggle as figuring out what our gender identity is. It is subject to external challengers just the same and must be dealt with in everyones life. It took a lifetime of experiences to learn how to overcome them, but it didn’t need to be. It wasn’t until I found a network of friends at CDH that I was finally able to feel a stirring in my wings that made me believe in the impossible.

  10. Cynthia……..great article. I still believe in the Military motto….”Be all that you can be” to hell with those who say you can’t. In all the worlds battles from time immemorial……It matters Not who Won or Lost…..what matters is that one stood true against many for his/her beliefs. We must never be a sheep and follow the others……..we must stand alone and be proud of who we are.

  11. Terri Anne 6 months ago

    Beautifully written Cynthia. Thank you for sharing with us all. And thank you all that you do as well.
    LU, Terri Anne

  12. Kayla C 6 months ago

    Cyn – such a great article. I am quite fortunate to have met so many wonderful people and many I call friends. It is great to be part of such a supportive team.
    Thanks for sharing

  13. Mia West 6 months ago

    I like that quote thanks for sharing. You have indeed been there for me the last few months that I have been a member in reference to what I am going through with custody of my child. You and a few others have helped me get through a rough time so far. I am not full time yet but, that is my goal, and for the most part, when I go out into the world I am Mia. Both the interactions with others who have or are transitioning and your self, have been an incredible motivation for me. I would like to thank you and the rest of the team of ambassadors for all of the time they invest in the site and the community.
    Thank you,

    • Dana Stiletto 6 months ago

      I love your beautiful smile girl!
      Keep up the positive attitude, it just gets better from here.

  14. Thank you Cynthia. As you said above it is great to have a group with leaders as yourself and the others you mentioned that give us a place to be ourselves with out judgment and to meet others and make friends to strengthen ourselves from the inside out. Allowing us to grow to the level of woman we want to be. I am so very happy to be here.
    Sara Marie

  15. Sarah Daniels 6 months ago

    Great article Original Cyn….(Love that nickname).

    Sarah D

  16. tina Smith 6 months ago

    Lovely Cyn hugs 🙂

  17. Erica Cartman 6 months ago

    Great Article…

  18. Michelle Liefde 6 months ago

    Thank you, Cynthia!

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