I do not belong as part of humanities throng
Am I square or round I just feel so wrong
I am saddened as darkness surrounds me
Leading to a feeling that I am all alone

My life seems a dream, not real, but a lie
I plead to apparitions to help me as the drift by
I follow them in hope wanting them to be real
But they continue onwards leaving me alone until;

Life moves on and I accept the dream more
Desperate to conform to the norm and close the door,
on that, which man will ultimately distain
and in agony I fight and pray I’ll refrain

I’m alone like an island I live
Hiding and cowering in a fog I have hid
Trying to fit when I’m born to stand out.
Wishing to stand up to the world and shout

No one feels the way that I do,
I’m alone, self-taught until it rings true
Isolation grows and eats at my soul
Until there is only a terrible hole.

Tears fill my eyes as the lonely grows
Hiding secrets deep down till it does not show
I must fit in, so I live with the hole
The hiding still remains my number one goal

Tortured by dreams and desires of the heart
I feel like I am being torn apart
The man the world sees till I accept what I’m told
but the feelings grow stronger even though I grow old

I sit here forlorn isolated by convention
Saddened by a life I missed by prevention
Now drawn to a hope with new friends I have found
No longer alone my peg is round.

Words of hope I hear from others who know
Who have been there in places so low.
accepting who they are deep inside
allowing their inside person out to reside

The journey though painful at times it would seem,
appears to be more real than the aforementioned dream
My friends do not drift by, but stay for a while
giving advice and a shoulder and even a smile

We talk most nights and we finally see
We are not alone but as sisters can be
Friends forever and a journey we start
Joined together by a united heart.

So, I ponder and think and then open the door
Not wishing to hide what is in me, no more
Strengthened and calm I can reside, I can be;
a person I can love because I am finally me.

The following two tabs change content below.
I am a trans girl living in the UK. I have been married for almost 20 years now and have three wonderful children. I am strangely still closeted although somehow I dress fairly low key and try and stay below the radar. I love to write although I never have enough time to do it and write poetry and stories about just about everything and anything. Not sure if I am any good but I guess that is for you to decide.

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skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member

I love this Abbie!/Petra! It encapsulates the feelings that a lot of us have!

Rosaliy Lynne

great poem. I have saved a copy of it.


I love it Petra. So often we seehow our stories are similar, including that feeling of being unique.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Tiffany Anne

Beautiful poem! Thank you!


Thank you Abbie
My eyes still burning hours later. You put into words what I’ve felt for last 45 years. Like Rosaliy I to made a copy and when I saved it, named it I am just me. Then thinking about it i realized the power of your words. “I AM ME!” so renamed file 🙂


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