The pitfalls of being a good Christian crossdresser

There are Christians who ostracize the transgendered for being different. They say crossdressing is a sin. By submitting themselves to the will of the church, and fervently seeking God, a few of us have found freedom. Yet for most of us, no matter how hard we pray, how much we definitely want to be cured, how guilty we feel – we wake up each morning as who we are. A transgendered person. Not free, but shackled by the guilt heaped upon us by ‘loving’ and ‘well meaning’ Christian brothers and sisters.

There are other Christians who believe differently. Who believe that God loves the transgendered, and that who we are is not in. Many of these Christians have previously had the weight of the church’s disfavored poured upon them.

I believe, humbly, that whichever group of Christians we choose to believe, that there are dangers that lurk for us. If we submit to the first group, and label our transgendered-ness as sin, we label ourselves as sin. We do not accept who we are.. Then rather than let our light shine, we hide it under a bowl, trying to constrain our spirit. We live only the half-live of those who are afraid to love to much, or sing too loudly.

If we throw our lot behind those who accept and love us, we may be fooled into believing that our purpose is to be transsexual or transgender. In doing this we create a god our of our difference, and spend our days worshipping the desire to fully become woman.

Again Allyson has provided some insight for us.

I believe our challenge is to fully embrace who we are, while at the same time living for God. The transition is not an end unto itself, but a means to more fully fulfill God’s purpose in our lives.

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Dedicated to creating a safe, supportive and welcoming environment for everyone in the transgender community.
  1. Alyssa 11 years ago

    i for one would not be accepted if I came out and told tem I’m a crossdresser, which sucks because I rarely dress as a girl these days, I’m in boy mode all the time and then one day as i’m dating somebody from our singles group, i say “I’m one of THOSE people” (she knew I was talking about the Transgendered) she shunned me quick, and put out the flame and left me…saying that I was living a lie by NOT MAKING MY CROSSDRESSING PUBLIC…

    I dont want to be identified as “thats the man that wears womens clothes” i want to be identified byall the positive and creative things that i do for myself and for my church and not be associated with something that my church folk find a stygma.

    My ex-girlfriend couldnt accept the fact that i was riding the fence, to her it was either NEVER crossdress or ALWAYS crossdress. She asked “well if you dont think its wrong, then why not come to church in a dress?”

    Because thats not me, again, not wanted to be branded as “the guy who wears a dress to church”

    its funny and odd that I’ll probably never know who would have been accepting and who wouldnt have been accepting of this lifestyle, i mean I’m always out there looking for accepting folks…open minded people and while churchgoers CLAIM to be open minded… they are actually extremely narrow-minded and EXTREMELY judgmental.

    Should I show my true face? should I remove my mask? Am I living a lie? Should I reveal my crossdressing and my maids fetish publically?

    no, I think that would be the greatest mistake of all to publically wave it in their faces and come to worship wearing a dress…

    and yet I want so badly to be accepted for who I am.

    On closing, when I asked my girlfriend if I should stop once and forever and become depressed and live my life without crossdressing she said:

    “Yes, you should stop even if that means being depressed and miserable for the rest of your life, you should still stop crossdressing.”


  2. Vanessa Law 11 years ago

    It breaks my heart that those who profess to know Jesus rain down judgement as if they never needed a savior. I know there are also more nuances to a situation, but in my opinion it’s quite immature to expect you to share this part of yourself without trying to understand what it means to you, and why you’ve been holding it back. I also think it’s quite easy to tell how much she cares about you from her response – so that she doesn’t feel uncomfortable around you she would rather you live a life of misery.

    Coming out is a very personal decision, and as you’ve noted may have unwanted side effects. Do you feel as though you’re living a lie? Does it pain you to hide who you are from them? Noone should pressure you into coming out, this should be a thoughtful decision you make with advise from trusted friends – that is friends who have YOUR best interests at heart, not there’s.

    The other thing I can imagine them trying to do is “cure you” – in fact this may be the very reason they want you to come out.

    Alyssa, do write back and let me know what you decide to do. It can be hard losing a church family, but there are churches who believe that all of God’s creation is beautiful.

  3. Bill 11 years ago

    Alyssa, As a Christian you are wise to keep it to yourself. I am coming to the conclusion that crossdressing falls into the “permissible but not beneficial” category that Paul talks about. I would also not want to make a weaker bro. stumble. If by publically dressing you or I caused someone else to stumble we then would be in sin. At this point my advice for any Christian c.d. is this: Pray. Wear the clothes if you are going to but don’t obsess about it Then it becomes idolatry. Don’t try to pass in public because that is deceitful and a lie. Be toally honest with your significant other, and allow them to set some boundaries. If they can’t live with it don’t do it. As Christians we are to first and foremost glorify God. If that means sacrificing what we want then we may be asked to do so. Second we are called to be loving toward our brothers in the church. If my dressing causes another brother or sister to either stumble or distresses then it’s best not to do it in front of them. Our own needs wants and desires are last. If there is any time or energy left to crossdress in the privacy of my home and the urge is overwhelming then I will do it in private with the full permission of my spouse. I have struggled with this issue now for some time and have reached the conclusion that it is a self centered act therefore it must take a low priority in my life. My thoughts and prayers are with you. If i never meet you in person I pray we will see each other in heaven.

    • Craig 7 years ago

      Wow Bill what a wonderful mature Christian insight into this most difficult of issues! Their is wisdom, courage and a love for the Lord inthis approach. well done goog and faithful servant!

  4. PinkPenny 11 years ago

    As a crossdresser and a Christian it has been a struggle to try and control my need to wear womens clothes. I have tried prayer and to control my urges. By purging or stop cold. But the urges keep coming back. My wife knows and she does not mind. She understands my need to wear womens clothes. I am not gay but wearing panties etc. Seems to relax and make me feel better. I don’t go out in public just at home. Now that I have come to terms with my need to dress. I feel better about my life. Dressing is not the center of my life. It is just a small part of who I am.

    • Vanessa Law 10 years ago

      PinkPenny, I have tried the same. It’s been a long, hard road for me to accept that who I am is who I am. It’s healthy that you’ve come to terms, and that dressing is just a piece of your life. That balance is good. Bless you and your wife for having such a loving, understanding relationship.

  5. Christian Cross-dresser 10 years ago

    I am a born-again Christian & I LOVE wearing sexy lingerie every single night when I go to bed. Wearing lingerie greatly increases my pleasure.

    I especially love to wear corsets with panties & stockings. I became a transvestite at the age of 12 – just a few months AFTER I become a born-again Christian. It is not in any way whatsoever sinful for a Christian guy to enjoy doing this. In fact it is directly supported in scripture where John describes in the book of Revelation seeing an angel in HEAVEN wearing – guess what – a CORSET! Now I know why corsets are my favorite lingerie to wear because male angles are also cross-dressing in erotic lingerie, so if angles in Heaven cross-dress, then there is nothing whatsoever wrong in male humans doing this also. I discovered this verse in the bible quite some time after I started to wear sexy lingerie and found corsets & their associated panties and stockings especially enjoyable and now I know why corsets are my favorite lingerie to wear in bed – it is because male angles wear corsets also!!

    I only wear sexy lingerie each night when I go to bed – I dont wear any other type of female clothing. I have no desire whatsoever to become a women.

    Trust you found this information from scripture and my experience of enjoying being a transvestite enlightening for you.

    Yours in Christ

    A Christian cross-dresser

    • Aharan 2 years ago

      It is called a girdle in the King James, which is not a corset or what you are thinking. It was a wide belt the men wore around their waste that they used to hold their garment in place, gird their loins, and carry items like swords.

  6. Mac 7 years ago

    It is good to hear the stories of others like me. I have struggled with this for most of my life. I started wearing pantyhose when I was probably 5 or 6 years old, and the desire never went away. I am fortunate to have found a wonderful woman who has accepted me and my wearing of pantyhose. I do shave my legs, and wear pantyhose almost everyday. I don’t try to be a woman, and have no desire to have a sex change. I am a masculine man who enjoys sports, and most other things the typical masculine male enjoys. I just happen to have a love for pantyhose. On some rare occassions I will wear silk lingerie, or costumes, but never any makeup. I am not out to anyone other than my spouse. I will sometimes wear pantyhose under my pants, but never with shorts. When I first became a christian, I struggled with this, and tried desperately to stop. I can’t count the number of pantyhose I threw away with intentions of never wearing them again, only to go right back to wearing when the desire just wouldn’t go away. I hope and pray that God is ok with me wearing, and will someday accept me into his kingdom.

  7. Bobbie 7 years ago

    God Loves all .
    It doesn’t mattter what you wear or don’t wear.
    It really does not matter what you wear
    But who You are.
    Try to be like God,
    Love all.

  8. Tammy 3 years ago

    I am married and a crossdresser. I have an unbelievable urge to dress. She thinks it is sick plus we have had no sex for years. She said there is a problem down below. I am a very sexual person and being cut off at an early age has made me want to dress even more. Again she said it is sick. So I am in the closet very deeply. I have a chance to go and dress with someone and I am thinking seriously about it. I don’t want to quit on marriage as I do have a good family. Divorce is not in my book but I NEED TO DRESS BADLY or I am going to burst. Help

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