I have enjoyed many of the stories that I’ve read on various blogs on the Internet. With the accounts I opened, I set most to block obscenity and sexually oriented material. When I was befriended and wanted to see the profile of the friend, I lifted the blocks to see their background. Immediately, I began picking up material I didn’t enjoy. I am not a prude, and I realize that a great deal of the femininity related to crossdressing has a strong sexual component to it. I am not comfortable with pictures depicting this.

People often view us as perverted. I’ve mentioned in other stories that I take great care to look neat and attractive when I dress, just as I do when dressed as a man. Many consider it strange that a man would want to emulate the body shape of a woman and wear shaping garments, breast forms, pantyhose and high heels to enhance their appearance. I truly find this enjoyable and wish that my wife was more comfortable with it. In my earlier years (adolescence), arousal was common, but now, not so much. I am satisfied with the simple contentment (and endorphin rush) of donning feminine apparel. I can channel the arousal for the time with my wife. She knows my feminine characteristics enhance the bonding and mutual nurturing.

Many believe sexual gratification is entirely what crossdressing is all about. It is so much more complex and compelling, much in the same way that the appreciation of art, music and sports are to most of us. Correspondingly, my propensity to select more adventuresome (not necessarily provocative) feminine attire has helped motivate me to stay fit. I am getting ready to go out in a few minutes to pick up some groceries for the rest of our Christmas celebrations with family. Everything I’m wearing was designed for a woman, and yet, I will present as a man. I don’t know why I enjoy dressing this way, but I put a lot of consideration and effort into it.

I believe most heterosexual crossdressers will read this and identify with it. We are not so different. I do not criticize those who see it otherwise; I just wish that more in the general population could accept that our preoccupation is essentially harmless. Frequently, the wives of crossdressers are confused and intimidated by their husbands’ desire to dress like women. I cannot judge those extremely valid feelings. I wish I could comprise a treatise that could adequately portray how crossdressers feel about this part of their lives and in their love and admiration for their significant others.

I’ve read pieces about wives who enjoy “playing girlfriend” with their husbands. I never know how realistic or accurate those depictions are. Sometimes the concept seems awkward simply because of the size differences between men and women. I have been told that I appear believable when dressed by those who have looked at my pictures. I seldom wear makeup anymore, so absent the facial components, I might not draw undue attention. I’m 5’10” and 150 lbs. Even though I’m somewhat femininely proportional, I am a tall woman—especially when wearing heels. My wife is 5’0” and weighs 98 lbs. Alone, I would draw attention. With the height difference, we are certainly an attention getting couple!

But . . . I would love to give the girlfriend thing a try. The bottom line is; I think this CD thing can really be fun and satisfying for the couple who is not hung up on convention. Today, we might pull it off without incident, even if I was made. My fantasy has us in St. Louis, at The Fox Theater, 250 miles away, where we might be anonymous and share the night as girlfriends!

Falecia

 

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While I am a septuagenarian, I am fit and trim because of regular exercise and moderate eating. With wig and light makeup, I might pull off a reasonable looking 50s matron of sorts. Generally speaking, however, I most commonly go out-and-about wearing women’s jeans (either low-rise or high waisted), tunics or cropped tops, and women’s boots or sandals with at least a 3 inch heel or wedge. I do this, presenting as a man. I am confident in this sort of attire, and, although it may break the norms, I’m not trying to fool anyone. Somewhat surprisingly, I have had only positive comments from both men and women. Granted that most people do not comment at all and many stare with puzzlement or discomfort. Nonetheless, many women will comment, “I like your outfit,” or “you look great.” Some men have said, “that boot thing’s working for you,” or “nice jeans!” I literally always leave the house with some tension and almost always return with relieved anxiety. If my wife was more comfortable with this androgyny, I would likely dress this way most of the time. Falecia

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10 Comments
  1. *skippy1965(Cynthia) 5 months ago

    Falecia,
    Thank you for sharing your story. We share many of the same views about the CD experience (though in my case I’m still exploring my feelings to determine how far and where my feminine journey will take me). I envy you being just 150 lb rather than my own 195-200. I usually wear women’s items even when presenting male mode(just not obviously so) and am not infrequently ma’amed-likely due to my hair and earrings. Enjoy the fact that your wife accepts this part of you even if not as fully as you might like; my ex could neither accept nor even tolerate it whether she saw it or just knew that I was doing it while she was away. Well written!
    Cyn

  2. Michelle Liefde 5 months ago

    Thanks Falecia for writing your article. Your words reflect many if my own thoughts in what crossdressing means to me personally. I hope some day you and your wife will be able to take that 250 mile trip.

    Hugs,
    Michelle

  3. Gianna Bonita 5 months ago

    All so very true Falecia. I too dress in women’s boots or flats with leggings or pull-up slacks and with tops often when out and about.
    My wife and I walk on the local beaches most days and we both wear yoga pants or women’s shorts with sneakers, and girly T-shirt’s, jackets and sun hats and sunglasses. It’s liberating walking the beach in femme but blending in, although I do get a few stares.
    I do like the vibrant colours women can wear but for some reason men should not. Well, I chose to wear those colours too. The other day, a man said hello as we passed him and he commented on our great colourful beach clothes. So there is some acceptance from others I guess.
    Hugs Gianna.

  4. patty williams 5 months ago

    Thanks Felecia for your view point. Although I cannot deny I love The sexual aspect of cross dressing I truly love all the feminine aspects. I love shopping for cloths, shoes , make up just being feminine.My wife isn’t keen on my cross dressing either however I too would love to explore the girl friend aspect however I am like your situation 5’11” and my wife 5′.

    I don’t think my wife understands that like you I just enjoy the beautiful feminine side of Life.

    Thanks Patty

  5. Camryn Occasionnel 5 months ago

    Falecia, I can so very much identify with your CD experience described here. I, too, am a septuagenarian (but I show it). As with you, the sexual gratification many still associate with CDing, has for me, long ago given way to a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, of glowing inner warmth.

    I have no SO, but if I did, it would give me great joy if she would be accepting enough and encouraging enough to “share the night as girlfriends” and go out to the theatre. I hope one day that fantasy of yours will come to pass.

    ♥️ Camryn Occasionnel

  6. Hi Faecia! You are right on the mark sweetie! I think people are trained by media more than anything else, to act the way they do. Growing up, the TV told me to drink beer and party and since they were all young and trim….ya…let’s go. Not a fat drunk to be seen. By Hai Karate…..the girls will be all over you! By this car…ditto. Movies also showed me how to act in relationships and what to expect…..wrong!!! The biggest issue is with pornography……..if people watch this stuff and try to act it out………well…..I think they will be alone in this life…….and they call us perverts????? Kindness and respect collects more flies than vinegar. Even literature these days……erotica sells better than anything else. No respect to be found on the streets either. Monkey see, monkey do. Children….well….I won’t even go there…..they should all be drowned!!

    Put on a stiff upper lip and carry on regardless, honey…..rise above it all, for you are the better person.

    Hugs……
    Dame Veronica

  7. Author
    Falecia McGuire 5 months ago

    I certainly do not want to give the mistaken impression that I think sex is NOT a component of crossdressing for me. Some comments have indicated that I may have. I continue to be very attracted to women and my wife in particular. Years ago, for a snippet, we used “dressing-up” as a preamble to our love making. That was a great period, but it didn’t last. Now, I wish we could just enjoy equally feminine styles while not feeling compelled to jump in the sack every time.
    I believe the fun-with-clothes thing is a female phenomenon to which traditional men’s attire does not lend itself. Even just women’s jeans can be an adventure with, “skinny, flared, bell bottoms, capris, low rise, high rise, mid rise, side zipper, side button, back zipper, bibs, overalls, jeggings, pale blue, royal blue, navy blue, black, white, pastels, embroidered, distressed, or whatever,” for the men or women who choose to wear them. I have many of these.
    A couple of years ago, I discovered that Toms, the shoe brand that gives away a pair for each you buy, marketed booties with open toes. I bought a pair for each (my wife & me) of us. They had this really neat 3+ inch stacked heel. Then I found another new pair in my size at the Ross Store for $29. Next I saw a woman wearing sandals with a similar heel that turned out to be Toms brand as well. I now have three pairs of those as well. They look great with skinny jeans!
    Women’s clothes are just fun. If they create a comfort, appeal, and lead to to provocation, great. But I think the perceived necessity to perform impeded the hanging out in “style.” More later,
    FAM

  8. Natasha Mari 5 months ago

    Beautiful article. I can totally relate to the height different. My SO is 5′ and I’m 6’3″. Me in heels would put my in basketball player atmosphere. She doesn’t know I dress yet, and if and when she does I dont think she would want the attention of not only walking with me enfemme but also walking next to amazon enfemme at that.

  9. Lea 5 months ago

    Falecia, thank you so much for posting this article. It really uplifted me, especially since I’ve been feeling down this week, feeling like there is no compromise being a CD and just wanting to dress differently every day.

    I too love wearing feminine clothes, shoes, carrying a purse, felling girly while still presenting as a guy (face, voice, some mannerisms). When dressed this way, I have gotten a few stares. Yet there have also been countless compliments from women about my outfit, shoes, confidence, or just support.

    I dream of the day that I could truly dress however I want and go wherever I want, all with support from my family, friends, and coworkers.

  10. anne-marie 5 months ago

    Felicia. Thanks for wtiting your article and like others have also commented, I also identifiy with much of what you have written.

    For me however, being 5’4″, I am amazed that you girls down there feel that your height is a big thing. There are loads of gg’s that are your height and they rock!

    I totally agree with you about not wanting to see obscene and sexually orientated materials. Its almost like a cancer infecting huge amounts of thw internet. Some people no doubt want to use this ‘stuff’ but I would rather not – each to their own.

    Dressing feminine certainly can be a lot of fun. Even more so if we have somebody to share it with. It is just such a shame that there are still crazy people out there who cannot see past the exterior, who cannot see the wood for the trees.

    I hope you and your wife get to make that trip and sooner rather than later. Best wishes to you both.

    Anne-Marie.

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