Why do men cross dress - A follow up

Two weeks ago I wrote an article entitled why do men cross dress? and I asked you to write and tell me - why do you cross dress?

Thank you to all who responded, both on my blog and to my question in other forums. The responses fell into a few different categories:

  1. I cross dress because it feels natural, "right". When I crossdress I'm less cranky and feel stress relief. I feel complete, liberated, content.
  2. I cross dress because I enjoy wearing woman's clothes, with no particular desire to look or present myself as a woman. It's fun.
  3. Woman's clothes are more exciting, prettier, more colorful.
  4. I cross dress because I enjoy feeling feminine - presenting myself as a woman, behaving like a woman.
  5. When I cross dress it's sexually exciting - I get a thrill out of wearing woman's clothes
  6. When I cross dress I'm sexually excited by what I look like wearing woman's clothes
  7. I dress because I feel I really am a woman inside, and I'm just dressing in the clothes appropriate to my gender.

In writing this post, I felt compelled to express how different we all are - we each cross dress for different reasons, enjoy different types of clothing, and have different 'end goals' in mind. Imagine my surprise at a recent comment on my last crossdressing how to post, which said something to the effect of 'Not everyone who cross dresses wants to pass as a woman' and 'it's too bad your outlook on cross dressing is so narrowly focused'. Yikes!

As my regular readers know, I try hard to avoid being narrowly focused on any particular denomination of cross dressing. I apologize to my dear reader A if I came across otherwise.

I wonder if there is more behind this though. I recently received an email from a transsexual who said that there are regular flame wars on a forum she frequents between transsexuals and cross dressers. Yikes! again! Has the transgendered community become so diverse that we spend more time focusing on our differences than our similarities? I hope not. It's only together that we will be able to change the hearts and minds of the world. Only united that we will usher in an age of tolerance and acceptance.

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Leave a Reply

48 comments

  1. Mia Price 20 May, 2015 at 13:48 Reply

    I salute you all, whether a cross-dresser or transgender. My heart also goes out to Bruce Jenner, who has been unfairly treated at times by the press, and certain members of the public . I believe that as over the years, since he met Kris and raised her children, and their own 2 daughters, he has been constantly surrounded by women’s perfumes, clothing , accessories, shoes etc in different styles and colours, the textures and look , smell n feel of them must’ve been too hard to resist – so naturally, he’d be curious at times n want to experiment and experience what it’s like to be dressed in women’s clothes x people ate different , and one doesn’t have to be a celebrity either, to want to look or feel different. And it doesn’t mean you want to be a homosexual either. To have breast implants etc is also their own business, do whatever makes YOU feel good! Society will always have something to say, just ignore the nasty ones and always be very careful where you go to, and have a trusted friend with you to stay safe. You only live once , but it doesn’t mean you have to stay in a certain gender of male or female. No! Celebrate your style of dressing, your life and your happiness… Good Luck to you all, with lots if loving cuddles xox God Bless!!!

  2. alexis 23 December, 2014 at 11:33 Reply

    I will admit when I was 17 it was all about sex,but today at 52 it’s who I am, I feel totally happy when I can allow my feminine half express her attitude. It’s part of me and I never want to let her go!

  3. jacklyn 22 July, 2014 at 12:05 Reply

    i dress for the trill of going out and being treat as a lady manb want to by me things all the time. i just love dreesing as awomen those c/d who have gone out should try it it is so fun.

  4. Chellis 12 September, 2012 at 12:51 Reply

    I crossdress; however, I don’t consider all crossdressing behavior to be motivated by a fetishistic drive. I am sure some (most?) is but not all. Who else agrees? Thanks.

    Chellis :)

  5. shane 30 March, 2012 at 16:34 Reply

    im bisexual and like too crossdress when i have sex with women or trannys everything is good but when im with guys i fell i have too dress up and be sluty why is this? am i just not into m2m and have have some fem in it

  6. Elizabeth 10 November, 2011 at 11:41 Reply

    I am a theater pit orchestra musician. I first discovered cross dressing when I played Cabaret. For those of you who don’t know the show, it is set in a Cabaret in Berlin, in 1936, just as Hitler is beginning his rise to power. The entire orchestra is part of the show, and is supposed to be dressed as “drag queens.” In the production I played, they toned the orchestra down a bit, but we were stil all dressed as women. At first, it was a hoot, but as the run of the show continued, I found myself looking forward to changing out of my “man clothes” and into sexy underwear, and female street clothes. At about the same time, my wife and I split up, becasue she wanted to move to Arizona to pursue her master’s degree, and because I always felt so guilty leaving her at home alone,while I went off to play shows. So I started wearing women’s clothing around the house when I was home alone. It helped me feel like there was a female in the house with me. Also, I do find I get a bit of a slight sexual “turn-on” when I am wearing sexy underclothing. I have been “underdressing” now, for the past six years.

    Some women I have dated were okay with my proclivity, and some were not. Those who were not, didn’t get a second date. LOL

    I occasionally go out in public “dressed” but not often. In my location, it can be very dangerous, if you are “clocked” by one of the local homophobes.

    A few years back, I embarked on the “flat-to-fem” program, primarily because breast forms, no matter how good, are uncomfortably hot. It is much more comfortable to have my own breasts and simply wear a bra. By selecting ones that fit properly, I achieve a feminine figure, without discomfort. I have discovered that with bras, like many things in life, you get what you pay for. All of the bras in my drawer are “high end”, costing on average about $50.00 each. But I digress …

    I find that when I am dressed, I tend to change my way of looking at problems, and I am much more accepting of feelings as viable approaches to problem solving. I also find myself more attuned to other people’s feelings, even when I am speaking with them by telephone.

    I am not interested in transitioning, which is probably a good thing, as I am in my sixties, and probably not a good candidate for all the hormonal and surgical proceedures necessary. I have a few close friends who know tht I cross dress, and I am fond of joking with them that I lived through the nineties, and found the woman in me. They always respond with, “Yes, we see you have, She’s a lesbian, isn’t she?” LOL

  7. andy 9 October, 2011 at 02:30 Reply

    i”ve worn female lingerie since my early teens, maybe before the first time i can remember was in the junior school play when in had to borrow a girls tights to plaY A CAT loved it then love it more now you cannot beat the feel of stockings and a sexy lace garter belt or bustier im now into short skirts and heels

  8. Rockyrich119 16 September, 2011 at 14:41 Reply

    Several years ago I met this wonderful woman (Dee), she was open to any kind of sex I want and when ever.  She will do anything I ask when it comes to sex, 100% of the time.  She also tells me what she wants when it comes to sex, and she also get it 100% of the time. 

    One night she want to do role refersal, I said ok.  She got out her strapon and had her way with me.  The next day she came home with some womens clothes and wanted me to put them on.  She said if we are going to switch roles you can wear the clothes.  I like the way they feel.  Soft and sexy when I put them on.  Since that day I haven’t woren any mens underwear, just panties and garters, nylons to work.  We have great sex every day with each other or some of our friends.  I wish I had met her 20 year earlier, what a great time we would of had.

  9. Daywalker1966 9 July, 2011 at 15:38 Reply

    I’m also a Goth.  I love candles and elaborate candle holders, I hate artificial light.  I stand in raging storms and enjoy rain and lightning, most people run from it.  I enjoy walks in old graveyards and abandoned houses, most people are scared of them.  I listen to creepy music sometimes, such as Midnight Syndicate, and I love black clothes, victorian clothes, and many things most people wont associate with.  I’m not mentally ill, just different and I was born that way.  I slide easily into victorian clothing, vampire clothing, my female side, etc, with ease. 

    Ever human being is an actor, with props and lines.  Everyone becomes a parent, a worker, a student, whatever, and they put on the “costume” and play the part. Me ,I can become my lady side and or the victorian vampire with ease.  It’s all part of the show.  I simply enjoy it more than most people, especially those who scorn such things as “abnormal”. 

  10. Polly 16 March, 2011 at 06:19 Reply

    i love to cross-dress ! it helps me deal with my anger issues ~
    i feel so much more relaxed & happier since doin’ it 24/7 !

  11. Polly 16 March, 2011 at 13:19 Reply

    i love to cross-dress ! it helps me deal with my anger issues ~
    i feel so much more relaxed & happier since doin’ it 24/7 !

  12. Jane christine 13 March, 2011 at 11:23 Reply

    I cross dress because I adore being a woman, I enjoy wearing make up, dresses,wigs heels, carrying a hand bag, and every thing it take s to be a woman, it feels so normal to be like this and I wish that i was born a woman , I also am taking steps to become a woman and that will make me so happy , I only have one life so i have to make my dreams come true……….

  13. Jane christine 13 March, 2011 at 18:23 Reply

    I cross dress because I adore being a woman, I enjoy wearing make up, dresses,wigs heels, carrying a hand bag, and every thing it take s to be a woman, it feels so normal to be like this and I wish that i was born a woman , I also am taking steps to become a woman and that will make me so happy , I only have one life so i have to make my dreams come true……….

  14. Johnny G. 1 March, 2011 at 22:59 Reply

    I found as a young boy, that I would never grow to be as “manly” or “mean” as my father was if I were “feminine” and cute. My mother realized my desire and would often dress me up behind my father’s back. Halloween was her favorite time for this, and was ultimately something my mother and I shared together. I was simply her “barbie doll”, and a silent way to get back at my father by sissifying his son.

  15. Johnny G 2 March, 2011 at 05:59 Reply

    I found as a young boy, that I would never grow to be as “manly” or “mean” as my father was if I were “feminine” and cute. My mother realized my desire and would often dress me up behind my father’s back. Halloween was her favorite time for this, and was ultimately something my mother and I shared together. I was simply her “barbie doll”, and a silent way to get back at my father by sissifying his son.

  16. EmmaRose1 16 January, 2011 at 14:58 Reply

    I don’t remember if I ever commented here before, but if not I’ll do so now. I’ve been reading this site for a few years and have found great empathy and comfort here. Thanks, Vanessa!

    I first remember when my Grandmother did the wash one day and forgot to put my underwear in. (There was only me and Grandpa in the house since my Dad was overseas in the service. Mom was a nurse and my younger sister and brother hadn’t been born yet.)
    Since Grandma was only doing the lingerie that day, I had to wear my older sisters panties and silkyshift. When Mom got home from work, she laughed and told Grandma I looked ‘cute’ . I did at that age I suppose. Grandpa was too busy to notice or at any rate didn’t seem to care. Since it was easier to buy just one type of undies for ‘the girls’, I ended up being dressed until about the age of 5 or 6. Along the way, I was the full size ‘living doll’ my sister and her friends had always wanted. My toenails were painted, my lipstick was their favorite. Gramps never said a word and told me years later he didn’t think it mattered. I was who I was and should be proud of myself, no matter how I felt. Pretty advanced for a burly guy who raised himself living off the land from the age of 10, as an orphan. Also perplexing to me at the time since I’d never felt any ‘need’ to express myself by dressing, enfemme.

    My life followed that of many men. A 22 year career in the Marine Corps saw combat duty in the Republic of South VietNam in the space of two years ‘incountry’. Fifteen years as a Sheriff’s Deputy followed that. The rest of the time, I’ve been a ‘house-hubby’ which fits my personality just fine. Dad always said that if I couldn’t clean my own clothes, darn my own socks and cook for myself, I’d never make any woman a good wife! (OH he knew me so well). During my time ‘incountry’, I had a trophy pair of silken panties from a sweet little girl in Thailand that I spent a week with. Believe it or not, SHE gave them to ME. Said they ‘might not fit’. Hmmm Did she know???

    To bring things up to date now, I have a career Air Force son who just may be CD (he was in High School), a college freshman daughter who is Bisexual, a gorgeous arrow straight wife with her own career who has passed the ‘big M’ in her life and is not very interested in sex any more. The wife and daughter know of my clothing preferences and the wife buys me nice things from time to time. I’ve slept, cuddled, and made love while enfemme. I’m dressed now (underneath). When dressed, I have the normal feminine fantasies. When in macho mode, I hunt, fish, work on my truck and Jeep and garden while sipping a beer and don’t have any feminine thoughts. Women totally turn me on. If I were a woman, I’d be bisexual.

    Now if the wife and daughter would just let me shave the mustache!
    In kindergarten, I put on some of Mom’s panties without knowing why. She saw me and said they were too big and to take them off. Next day, I found four pairs of brightly colored nylon panties in my drawer. Heaven?? Ohhh YES!

  17. EmmaRose1 16 January, 2011 at 21:58 Reply

    I don’t remember if I ever commented here before, but if not I’ll do so now. I’ve been reading this site for a few years and have found great empathy and comfort here. Thanks, Vanessa!

    I first remember when my Grandmother did the wash one day and forgot to put my underwear in. (There was only me and Grandpa in the house since my Dad was overseas in the service. Mom was a nurse and my younger sister and brother hadn’t been born yet.)
    Since Grandma was only doing the lingerie that day, I had to wear my older sisters panties and silkyshift. When Mom got home from work, she laughed and told Grandma I looked ‘cute’ . I did at that age I suppose. Grandpa was too busy to notice or at any rate didn’t seem to care. Since it was easier to buy just one type of undies for ‘the girls’, I ended up being dressed until about the age of 5 or 6. Along the way, I was the full size ‘living doll’ my sister and her friends had always wanted. My toenails were painted, my lipstick was their favorite. Gramps never said a word and told me years later he didn’t think it mattered. I was who I was and should be proud of myself, no matter how I felt. Pretty advanced for a burly guy who raised himself living off the land from the age of 10, as an orphan. Also perplexing to me at the time since I’d never felt any ‘need’ to express myself by dressing, enfemme.

    My life followed that of many men. A 22 year career in the Marine Corps saw combat duty in the Republic of South VietNam in the space of two years ‘incountry’. Fifteen years as a Sheriff’s Deputy followed that. The rest of the time, I’ve been a ‘house-hubby’ which fits my personality just fine. Dad always said that if I couldn’t clean my own clothes, darn my own socks and cook for myself, I’d never make any woman a good wife! (OH he knew me so well). During my time ‘incountry’, I had a trophy pair of silken panties from a sweet little girl in Thailand that I spent a week with. Believe it or not, SHE gave them to ME. Said they ‘might not fit’. Hmmm Did she know???

    To bring things up to date now, I have a career Air Force son who just may be CD (he was in High School), a college freshman daughter who is Bisexual, a gorgeous arrow straight wife with her own career who has passed the ‘big M’ in her life and is not very interested in sex any more. The wife and daughter know of my clothing preferences and the wife buys me nice things from time to time. I’ve slept, cuddled, and made love while enfemme. I’m dressed now (underneath). When dressed, I have the normal feminine fantasies. When in macho mode, I hunt, fish, work on my truck and Jeep and garden while sipping a beer and don’t have any feminine thoughts. Women totally turn me on. If I were a woman, I’d be bisexual.

    Now if the wife and daughter would just let me shave the mustache!
    In kindergarten, I put on some of Mom’s panties without knowing why. She saw me and said they were too big and to take them off. Next day, I found four pairs of brightly colored nylon panties in my drawer. Heaven?? Ohhh YES!

  18. Donna 11 March, 2010 at 19:15 Reply

    Oh, did I ever enjoy reading this because I found a part of me in almost every post. Sliplovin mentioned mirrors and that is a large part of my fun. I also wear a lot of babydolls and lately these “Ladies Hip Hiding Ruched tops” that are sold on Ebay. They look like a real short dress on me and I also use a small fan behind me to blow the bottom up some in the back. Wooooo-Whooooo! Meanwhile, there are at least 3 to 4 imaginary men begging me to let them have me. (I think part of the excitement in that is I’m the one being pursued rather than being the chaser. And I’ve never been involved with a man in my life.) Selling women’s clothing on Ebay allowed me to buy them without the embarrassment of having to face a sales clerk. I bought a red babydoll in KMart once and the sales clerk jokingly asked if it was for me. My face turned as red as that babydoll. I went from “I have nothing to wear” to an obsession for buying women’s clothes on Ebay. Plus, they now have auctions where they don’t list your log-in name.
    Now ….. Larisssa mentioned: “So I would like to know what might be wrong with me because I like to do this.” The answer is nothing is wrong with you. Many of us have done this since childhood without knowing why and before we even knew much about sex. One psychiatrist once told me it was from being sex starved. And years later, a therapist that I had once worked with told me there was nothing wrong about it. She even asked me if I’d like to meet another one of her patients who was very open about crossdressing. I never followed up on that. We do it because we enjoy it and others don’t understand why. That’s their problem, not ours. Meanwhile, I’ve got to mosey on over to Ebay and see what bargains they have in women’s clothes. LOL! Take care, everyone.

  19. Sharon 23 January, 2010 at 14:36 Reply

    I crossdress to relieve stress or that is what I keep telling myself. My sex drive as a male is low. My ex-wife had always played with my nipples and breast whenever we made love. Now that is the only thing I want another woman to do to me is to play with my nipples and to suck on my breast. The last woman I was with said it was to much like making out with another woman and she wasn’t into that. I do find it comfortable to wear a bra and I also like wearing panties,pantyhose heels and a dress. I do think I look better with makeup on. I have purchase a couple of wigs. I am mostly still in the closet but have been known to go for drives dressed completely as a woman and even have pump gas at a self services station dressed as a woman.
    Part of me wants to come out of the closet but I know if I do I will lose a lot of friends and family. So for now I will stay in the closet except for a drive here and there as a woman.

    • Susan Veronica 9 April, 2010 at 20:00 Reply

      Staying int he closet for the reasons you pointed out might be a good idea after all, especially if you feel okay with it.

      • Johnny G 1 March, 2011 at 22:59 Reply

        I found as a young boy, that I would never grow to be as “manly” or “mean” as my father was if I were “feminine” and cute. My mother realized my desire and would often dress me up behind my father’s back. Halloween was her favorite time for this, and was ultimately something my mother and I shared together. I was simply her “barbie doll”, and a silent way to get back at my father by sissifying his son.

  20. Larisssa 9 January, 2010 at 23:20 Reply

    My sister dressed me up in the 8th grade in her Catholic school uniform. She said I made a cute girl and I should come to school with her. Well I wanted to dressup that way the next night too and she let me. It was so arousing I could hardly contain myself. I even thought of telling her to teach me how to make love. I just loved the soft panties, and nylon stockings hooked up to garters on a sexy satiny panty girdle. Then it felt so cool to wear a bra and fill the cups with socks, slip into a sexy feeling slip and then wear her blouse and skirt with a vest. Her hair Fall or wig made me look very feminine and I saw with the makeup I wore that I looked pretty attrative. But the bottom lline was I felt so horny that after this experience I would dress as much as I could in bed, then dream of being engaged in sex with some girl from school and end up masturbating and feeling so sexy and relieved of sexual tension. This has been hard to hide through the years but have been pretty successful. I often wear just panties, pantyhose, a pantygirdle and half slip or petty skirt to work under my male clothes. When I have those few occasions to be alone for a few days, I go all the way in my female lingerie dressing with heels, hair and makeup and enjoy very stimulating and arousing sex alone. So I would like to know what might be wrong with me because I like to do this. I do not want to become a woman, just feel like one and use the lingerie with a dress or skirt and carry out my sexual routine. Any advice or input would be appreciated.

    • Susan Veronica 9 April, 2010 at 19:57 Reply

      What kind of input would you like? Dressing and sexuality do go hand in hand at one point. I am not a professional but I could help with whatever I can . I do have a blog and a email florgil7atgmail.com where I could be useful I guess.

      Susan Veronica

  21. lashay 8 December, 2009 at 17:50 Reply

    im a 24 year old african american male who loves to crossdress. i’ve been crossdressing for most of my life. it all started with pantyhose the texture and the soft fabric just blew my mind as a kid then i stated to wear them.as i grew up i started to experiment more with different garments, and i was a wrap after that. i told my wife and she wants me to stop doing it cause it dosen’t fit my personallity but i feel too sexy and comfortable to stop yet. im very popular and its hard to go out in public behind the fact that someone i know will see me. i would love to go out at night dressed up just for fun but too many ppl know me by face and name.so………………..i crossdress for two reasons 1) its comfortable and 2) for sexual arousment and satisfaction (depend on how i feel)so if there is any one who lives in the maryland area e-mail me at itz_offical09@yahoo.com so we can chat

  22. sliplovin 21 November, 2009 at 19:46 Reply

    I cross dress for two reasons. It’s taken me about 35 years to figure it out. But I love women who wear slips and I love to see the slip either peeking out from under a slit in a skirt or dress, or seeing the nylon and lace through a sheer blouse. I love how they feel and I’ve masterbated with them all my life. I’ve been buying them from thrift stores, retail stores, online for my entire adult life. When I where one. I set up mirrors, a long skinny mirror on the left side of me and a large mirror behind me, angled in such a way that when I’m laying there I can see the entire back side of me with the slip clinging to my body. I lay on a couple of pillows so that I can start rubbing back and forth on the pillow like I’m making love to some woman. It’s a sex thing for me. While I’m doing it, I imagine seeing that very same slip on some women. I know it’s weird, I know I have a problem, it’s like a drug. No matter how much I tell myself to stop, I can’t. And like a lot of people on here have said, it is a great stress relief. I has cost me my marriage and all of my friends, but I still keep doing it.
    But there is one thing that bothers me, and that is why the public makes people feel that it is unatural to dress like that.
    A PEICE OF MATERIAL, NO MATTER HOW IT IS CONFIGURED, IS NO MORE MASCULINE OR FEMININE THAN A ROCK

  23. Alana 5 August, 2009 at 09:51 Reply

    My first crossdressing memories started when I was 2 or 3 years old. I had a desire to wear my playmates party dresses. As a boy I was always attracted to female clothing – especially silks and satins.

    During middle school I was small and had a bad stutter – I was bullied a lot. I didn’t have many friends, but had compiled a stash of my sister’s and mother’s discarded clothing. I had old fashion satin slip that I wore every night under my pajamas for about three years. I masturbated some while dressed, but most of all enjoyed being dressed and it just “felt right.”

    I college I had some female friends who helped me dress up a couple of times. I was blond, skinny and had great legs. That was a lot of fun.

    When I met my wife, on our third date, I told her that I loved very feminine woman’s clothing and to dress up. She said that she did too. Over the past twenty years we have raised four children, I have slept in satin pajamas or nightgowns every night. I have a separate wardrobe that the kids know about but could care less about. I have focused on being a good father, a loving faithful husband (which is easy because my wife is so awesome) and a trustworthy friend.

    It is a balancing act to integrate my masculine (home construction, mountain biking and surfing) and feminine (cooking, sewing and dressing) pursuits. My wife encourages me to dress up and for us to get away for a girls night out occasionally. She says she married a complete person and it doesn’t matter what clothes I wear — just don’t come to bed in a t-shirt and sweats. We have a strict rule that only satins are allowed in bed.

    I have been blessed with a great family and feel that my crossdressing has enhanced my life. The only stress it causes is my wife wants me to be sewing all of my clothes, because the stuff I buy doesn’t fit so well. I filled out from being the skinny teen.

  24. gail 5 July, 2009 at 23:49 Reply

    Crossdressing for me remains a mystery.
    It’s erotic, exotic, sexy, somewhat taboo, with an element of risk, dare I say danger thrown in and all tossed together in such a fashion as to make it irresistible.
    Yet that doesn’t explain why I was drawn to it before I had any idea of the above.
    The elements so mixed in me so all the world could say this was a Woman. In the end it’s all poetry.

    • Stevie 23 January, 2010 at 19:59 Reply

      “It’s erotic, exotic, sexy, somewhat taboo, with an element of risk, dare I say danger thrown in and all tossed together in such a fashion as to make it irresistible.”

      Boy, does that sum it up for me. Even now, in my 50s, it’s still irresistible to me. I have been cross dressing off and on since my early 20s. I might go years without and then something prompts me to start up again. I’m never quite sure what exactly it is, although it does correspond somewhat to periods in my life when I’m not in a relationship (except when married to my ex-wife who enjoyed my hobby as much as I did). So maybe I’m trying to be both halves of a relationship, male and female, by myself. Or is that too weird?

      • gail 23 January, 2010 at 23:09 Reply

        Stevie,

        I know just what you mean!!!
        I have often thought one of the reasons I cross dress, among many, is to make up for the lack of regular female companionship.

        And yes it is weird and sometimes downright confusing.
        I’m never sure whether to cry or snicker during chick flics.

        Hugs,
        gail

        • Jane christine 13 March, 2011 at 11:23 Reply

          I cross dress because I adore being a woman, I enjoy wearing make up, dresses,wigs heels, carrying a hand bag, and every thing it take s to be a woman, it feels so normal to be like this and I wish that i was born a woman , I also am taking steps to become a woman and that will make me so happy , I only have one life so i have to make my dreams come true……….

  25. AngelaMarie 5 April, 2009 at 20:37 Reply

    Crossdressing for me came naturally ! For me,it was more of a way to eliminate depression. Dressed as a female, changed me in ways that are too hard to explain !I never had any sexual pleasure from doing it . My sex drive as a male was very low,almost non-existing !While I was completely dressed ,I would feel like a totally different person,with a different set of likes and dislikes.

    • Polly 16 March, 2011 at 06:19 Reply

      i love to cross-dress ! it helps me deal with my anger issues ~
      i feel so much more relaxed & happier since doin’ it 24/7 !

  26. Brianne 26 February, 2009 at 18:13 Reply

    I have a feeling there could be hormones involved, my feeling started as far back as a 5year old wishing to have a pair of those pretty patent leather shoes with a strap and bobby sox with lace at the top to start school in. Now I am 63 and have constantly be a crossdresser whenever the chance arose.
    I have felt the changes getting stronger as I have aged. It is like a swing going from male to female with every swing getting stronger.
    There have been years at times when I have been a contented male, then slowly my female side is upon me and out comes my pretty clothes, with soft textures and lovely colours. That seem to fit so well and make me feel at ease and happy.
    Most of my wardrobe now is feminine and I have an aversion to buying male clothing If I have to appear male there is always some fem clothing there, if only underneath.
    So getting back to hormones, could there be endorphin’s which are responsible for our feelings?
    Has anyone else found the Watson scale, which tells you from 1-5 how strong your feelings are. At the moment I am 4.
    Just love your site, as it is nice to react to others like me.

  27. Fashion Avenger 22 October, 2008 at 22:55 Reply

    Cross-dressing is normal , why ? Females ,which are more than fifty percent of the population of the world, cross-dress so often in Western society the last 45 years, that this term never applies to them anymore for the the last 40 years; how absurd ! An analogy would be that ” murder ” can never be applied to males since they commit more homicides than females by far. Males are ,therefore, excempt from criminal prosecution but females aren’t.What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

  28. Jay 20 September, 2008 at 16:20 Reply

    It can still be confising at times. But for me it is kind of clear i should be female and why i am not is still puzzling i just kind of have alwasy felt that i should be a girl when i was very young i always felt gilrs were magic and i wnated to be one of them and dress like them in pretty cloths dresses skirts there clothing was so much better then male clothing this continured until i was in grade schooll when somehow i began to lose that somewhat but it never did go away and now i still find i wish i were a women women are msostly better then males so there are many reason why i still want to be a female!

  29. allen 10 August, 2008 at 07:39 Reply

    hello crossdressing well i am 51 now been crossdressing since i was 9 or so remember finding my first garterbelt and nylons at a friends house it was his mothers of course i took them went into my basement tried them on and never looked back the only bad thing about it i am alone you see most women i meet even my x wife never got into me dressing in womens cloths so since then i was 21 at the time after she left i have been alone i have grown more fond of dressing now i usually only wear womens underthings under my male cloths out at home well i dress fully and i mastubate alot in my sexy lingerie in the past 2 years i been on pills to help my breast grow u know hormones and things like breast pumps nipple pumps things like that it seems to work my breast are getting bigger my bras fit now and i am injoying looking at my cleavage and feeling my breast honestly if i could i would turn myself into a women but because of my job (I AM A STEEL WORKER) i cannot do this i have a mortgage and bills i need to pay like the rest of you i just wish i could find away to meet a women or even a full time cd who would except what i do and injoy it with me but here in wisconsin i find no place club etc. who i can go to and find the help i need so if anyone from wisconsin can help me i would appreciate it i dont want to grow old alone i really dont but i cannot give up my dressing its to late i tried many times so if you are interested in helping me my e mail address is allendanninger@aol.com oh by the way when i am dressed i call myself ALICE thanks for listening LONELY CROSSDRESSER BY ALICE (allen)

  30. Lynn Jones 12 April, 2008 at 14:34 Reply

    > regular flame wars on a forum she frequents

    An old phrase springs to mind: “never the twain shall meet”. CDs and TS folk are – if I can generalise – on different paths. Outwardly to the public the two may seem similar – to put it brutally – men dressed as women. However, that’s vastly over simplified and (IMO) just plain incorrect.

    I’m not the first to say this and it’s something that does the rounds on most TG forums and/or blogs. Transgenderism is a sliding scale – indeed I think it was Helen Boyd who suggested it may have two scales: frequency and intensity.

    Frequency is how often you want to “dress up”. where as intensity is the old sliding scale ranging from ‘no interest at all’ (most blokes) through to ‘Inside I am female’ at the other. We all fit somewhere on that graph.

    For what it’s worth, I think it’s true that not everyone wants (or can) pass. Some CD folk are happy to wear a skirt and heels and go no further. Others ‘go all the way’ with make-up, wig and aim to ‘fit in’ when they go out.

    There’s room for us all I feel as we all started somewhere. Has anyone burst out of the closet looking totally fabulous at their first attempt? :)

  31. glyn 12 April, 2008 at 07:52 Reply

    I crossdress because I love to feel feminine,My wife tells me I am less cranky and get very sexy when dressed.I now have more bras,pantie and girdles than my wife and my wardrobe if getting almost as large as hers.We often buy matching clothes.Unfortunately I am in the closet just my wife knows.

  32. Marti 15 March, 2009 at 20:48 Reply

    Crossdressing from my perspective is more than just a question of why I am a CD. It revolves around why did circumstances dictate how I began. Why did I continue when the circumstances changed. And why do I continue to do it today after 28 years? Is it normal? By society standards – probably not. But for me – it came down to one important facet of my life – Dealing with stress. By dressing up I got a chance to look at my problems from a unique perspective and for some strange reason come up with answers calmly.

  33. Vanessa L 19 March, 2009 at 18:47 Reply

    Marti – an interesting observation. I’ve heard many crossdressers say they feel a relief from stress when dressed. I hadn’t associated that with better problem solving, and the unique perspective that calm and femininity brings.

  34. Jade 1 June, 2011 at 06:58 Reply

    I’m going to ressurect this interesting discussion.

    Like all crossdressers trannys whatever the world  calls us I too started thinking about this side of my life as a child. In my Teenage years I experimented with mums clothes, pinched some Lingerie from the store I worked in as a saturday boy and generaly played with the whole feminine side.  As an adult I occasionaly dressed, all in secret, nobody as far as I know had any inkling that there was this other aspect of me. I did grow my hair lon and braided it etc but more as a Steve Tyler wannabe lol lol.

    The problem wasn’t mine it was the world I live in. A world that has created clear boundaeries and divisions that are actualy very artificial and in fact change throughout the ages. Cross dressing in men is still quite Taboo (though thank god its slowly becoming more discussed if not yet more acceptable unless its a parody or a means of making fun of people sadly) Yet Women happily wear trousers, jeans, suits even. They are able to cross boundaries in dress and even behaviour far more freely than men at present. Who says its a mans world lol?

    As a child I loved dressing upl. Not as a girl particularly. Just in General. One day I would play as a guardsman, a Nasa astronaught, a commando, a cowboy, a knight or a Roman soldier. In secret I was a princess too lol. As a young man I loved performing in dramatic productions. that whole thing of taking time out of the day to be someone else. To live a different life just for a few hours realy exited me and continues to do so. I no longer perform. work and other pleasures curtailed that a bit. But I still enjoy the sense of being someone else. I can do it in my male life too. I’m one person at work, another with certain freinds, another with my loved ones. I’m comfortable with several skins. And they all give me pleasure to inhabit.

    I thought about specifically why I dress as a female an awful lot I enjoy being a man as much as I
    enjoy being a girl and have no real sexual interest in men. I’m as
    happy in Jeans and a Tshirt fixing an old engine as I am in stockings
    and suspenders (see I’m such a man Lol) Its femininty and duality that realy turns
    me on sexualy and women do that very very well 😉 I finally realised I’m not
    gay or transexual but I do have a wonderfull other side, alter ego that I
    love to explore once in a while. Its exiting, sexy, and totally fun to
    become this person.

    I think that is why I have this aspect to me. In girl mode I’m someone else. I look completely different and can explore completely different ways of being. Its fun. Sometimes a little erotic and I think,  very healthy.

    Jade

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