Why do men cross dress – A follow up

Why do men crossdress?

Two weeks ago I wrote an article entitled why do men cross dress? and I asked you to write and tell me – why do you cross dress?

Thank you to all who responded, both on my blog and to my question in other forums. The responses fell into a few different categories:

  1. I cross dress because it feels natural, “right”. When I crossdress I’m less cranky and feel stress relief. I feel complete, liberated, content.
  2. I cross dress because I enjoy wearing woman’s clothes, with no particular desire to look or present myself as a woman. It’s fun.
  3. Woman’s clothes are more exciting, prettier, more colorful.
  4. I cross dress because I enjoy feeling feminine – presenting myself as a woman, behaving like a woman.
  5. When I cross dress it’s sexually exciting – I get a thrill out of wearing woman’s clothes
  6. When I cross dress I’m sexually excited by what I look like wearing woman’s clothes
  7. I dress because I feel I really am a woman inside, and I’m just dressing in the clothes appropriate to my gender.

In writing this post, I felt compelled to express how different we all are – we each cross dress for different reasons, enjoy different types of clothing, and have different ‘end goals’ in mind. Imagine my surprise at a recent comment on my last crossdressing how to post, which said something to the effect of ‘Not everyone who cross dresses wants to pass as a woman’ and ‘it’s too bad your outlook on cross dressing is so narrowly focused’. Yikes!

As my regular readers know, I try hard to avoid being narrowly focused on any particular denomination of cross dressing. I apologize to my dear reader A if I came across otherwise.

I wonder if there is more behind this though. I recently received an email from a transsexual who said that there are regular flame wars on a forum she frequents between transsexuals and cross dressers. Yikes! again! Has the transgendered community become so diverse that we spend more time focusing on our differences than our similarities? I hope not. It’s only together that we will be able to change the hearts and minds of the world. Only united that we will usher in an age of tolerance and acceptance.

  1. Mia Price 5 months ago

    I salute you all, whether a cross-dresser or transgender. My heart also goes out to Bruce Jenner, who has been unfairly treated at times by the press, and certain members of the public . I believe that as over the years, since he met Kris and raised her children, and their own 2 daughters, he has been constantly surrounded by women’s perfumes, clothing , accessories, shoes etc in different styles and colours, the textures and look , smell n feel of them must’ve been too hard to resist – so naturally, he’d be curious at times n want to experiment and experience what it’s like to be dressed in women’s clothes x people ate different , and one doesn’t have to be a celebrity either, to want to look or feel different. And it doesn’t mean you want to be a homosexual either. To have breast implants etc is also their own business, do whatever makes YOU feel good! Society will always have something to say, just ignore the nasty ones and always be very careful where you go to, and have a trusted friend with you to stay safe. You only live once , but it doesn’t mean you have to stay in a certain gender of male or female. No! Celebrate your style of dressing, your life and your happiness… Good Luck to you all, with lots if loving cuddles xox God Bless!!!

  2. alexis 9 months ago

    I will admit when I was 17 it was all about sex,but today at 52 it’s who I am, I feel totally happy when I can allow my feminine half express her attitude. It’s part of me and I never want to let her go!

  3. jacklyn 1 year ago

    i dress for the trill of going out and being treat as a lady manb want to by me things all the time. i just love dreesing as awomen those c/d who have gone out should try it it is so fun.

  4. Chellis 3 years ago

    I crossdress; however, I don’t consider all crossdressing behavior to be motivated by a fetishistic drive. I am sure some (most?) is but not all. Who else agrees? Thanks.

    Chellis :)

  5. shane 4 years ago

    im bisexual and like too crossdress when i have sex with women or trannys everything is good but when im with guys i fell i have too dress up and be sluty why is this? am i just not into m2m and have have some fem in it

  6. brian 4 years ago

    so secret so close yet a million miles away

  7. brian 4 years ago

    in the next life we will meet hope is a wondorus thing

  8. brian 4 years ago

    i wish and wish i know it will come tru but maydee in the next life i will be bleesed

  9. Elizabeth 4 years ago

    I am a theater pit orchestra musician. I first discovered cross dressing when I played Cabaret. For those of you who don’t know the show, it is set in a Cabaret in Berlin, in 1936, just as Hitler is beginning his rise to power. The entire orchestra is part of the show, and is supposed to be dressed as “drag queens.” In the production I played, they toned the orchestra down a bit, but we were stil all dressed as women. At first, it was a hoot, but as the run of the show continued, I found myself looking forward to changing out of my “man clothes” and into sexy underwear, and female street clothes. At about the same time, my wife and I split up, becasue she wanted to move to Arizona to pursue her master’s degree, and because I always felt so guilty leaving her at home alone,while I went off to play shows. So I started wearing women’s clothing around the house when I was home alone. It helped me feel like there was a female in the house with me. Also, I do find I get a bit of a slight sexual “turn-on” when I am wearing sexy underclothing. I have been “underdressing” now, for the past six years.

    Some women I have dated were okay with my proclivity, and some were not. Those who were not, didn’t get a second date. LOL

    I occasionally go out in public “dressed” but not often. In my location, it can be very dangerous, if you are “clocked” by one of the local homophobes.

    A few years back, I embarked on the “flat-to-fem” program, primarily because breast forms, no matter how good, are uncomfortably hot. It is much more comfortable to have my own breasts and simply wear a bra. By selecting ones that fit properly, I achieve a feminine figure, without discomfort. I have discovered that with bras, like many things in life, you get what you pay for. All of the bras in my drawer are “high end”, costing on average about $50.00 each. But I digress …

    I find that when I am dressed, I tend to change my way of looking at problems, and I am much more accepting of feelings as viable approaches to problem solving. I also find myself more attuned to other people’s feelings, even when I am speaking with them by telephone.

    I am not interested in transitioning, which is probably a good thing, as I am in my sixties, and probably not a good candidate for all the hormonal and surgical proceedures necessary. I have a few close friends who know tht I cross dress, and I am fond of joking with them that I lived through the nineties, and found the woman in me. They always respond with, “Yes, we see you have, She’s a lesbian, isn’t she?” LOL

  10. andy 4 years ago

    i”ve worn female lingerie since my early teens, maybe before the first time i can remember was in the junior school play when in had to borrow a girls tights to plaY A CAT loved it then love it more now you cannot beat the feel of stockings and a sexy lace garter belt or bustier im now into short skirts and heels

    • Profile photo of Vanessa Law Author
      Vanessa Law 4 years ago

      :) That’s often when it starts for crossdressers Andy – thanks for sharing your story!

  11. Rockyrich119 4 years ago

    Several years ago I met this wonderful woman (Dee), she was open to any kind of sex I want and when ever.  She will do anything I ask when it comes to sex, 100% of the time.  She also tells me what she wants when it comes to sex, and she also get it 100% of the time. 

    One night she want to do role refersal, I said ok.  She got out her strapon and had her way with me.  The next day she came home with some womens clothes and wanted me to put them on.  She said if we are going to switch roles you can wear the clothes.  I like the way they feel.  Soft and sexy when I put them on.  Since that day I haven’t woren any mens underwear, just panties and garters, nylons to work.  We have great sex every day with each other or some of our friends.  I wish I had met her 20 year earlier, what a great time we would of had.

  12. Daywalker1966 4 years ago

    I’m also a Goth.  I love candles and elaborate candle holders, I hate artificial light.  I stand in raging storms and enjoy rain and lightning, most people run from it.  I enjoy walks in old graveyards and abandoned houses, most people are scared of them.  I listen to creepy music sometimes, such as Midnight Syndicate, and I love black clothes, victorian clothes, and many things most people wont associate with.  I’m not mentally ill, just different and I was born that way.  I slide easily into victorian clothing, vampire clothing, my female side, etc, with ease. 

    Ever human being is an actor, with props and lines.  Everyone becomes a parent, a worker, a student, whatever, and they put on the “costume” and play the part. Me ,I can become my lady side and or the victorian vampire with ease.  It’s all part of the show.  I simply enjoy it more than most people, especially those who scorn such things as “abnormal”. 

  13. Polly 5 years ago

    i love to cross-dress ! it helps me deal with my anger issues ~
    i feel so much more relaxed & happier since doin’ it 24/7 !

  14. Polly 5 years ago

    i love to cross-dress ! it helps me deal with my anger issues ~
    i feel so much more relaxed & happier since doin’ it 24/7 !


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