Crossdressers - Beware the dangers on the Internet

Of all the blessings afforded the crossdresser, few can compare with the Internet. Barely twenty years ago there was a dearth of information on crossdressing. We were doomed to live afflicted with guilt wandering alone in the barren wilderness. We eyed ourselves in the mirror feeling isolated by the shame of our “perversion”. Many took their secret to the grave, never daring to tell another of the feminine inside of yearning to be free. Unable to bear their own judgment, a few unfortunate souls hastened their own journey from this world.

The Internet is changing this…

I’m old enough to have spent my teenage years without the Internet – to have endured my crossdressing alone, wrestling day and night with feelings of shame and the unceasing compulsion to wear woman’s clothes. I was torn – I needed to talk with someone – to try and understand myself – yet I knew, I KNEW that what I was doing was so shamefully wrong I could never reveal it to another soul.

Isolation drove me to absurd conclusions, and made the crazy seem rational. It’s not a coincidence that solitary confinement is among the worst punishments a prisoner can receive. We’re biologically wired to need companionship – to draw strength from a familiar face, and seek community among like minded souls. So we join the local church, or woman’s group, or Toastmaster’s club. We find others like us where we can fit in.

For crossdressers, the Internet is the ultimate club. A place where we can find companionship while still retaining our anonymity. Where we can learn about our unique nature without mumbling a lame excuse in response to the librarian’s questioning stare at the “Crossdressing for Dummies” book in our hand.

But The Internet is Not All Sunshine and Roses

Recently a reader of Crossdresser Heaven found this out the hard way. Lucy (as we’ll call her) had submitted a crossdressing success story along with a lovely photo of herself in her feminine attire. A few months later she had the misfortune to break up with her girlfriend – a girlfriend who both knew about Lucy’s crossdressing and her story on Crossdresser Heaven. A girlfriend with a vengeful streak, who decided to use the story to out Lucy to her friends and family. Soon afterwards I received an urgent email asking that the story be taking down – a request I hastily honored.

As I said above, the Internet is a wonderful thing for crossdressers, the friendship and self-validation you can find will nurture your soul. I only ask that you think carefully before “coming out on the Internet”. Photos are stories have a way of getting around.

Be careful out there.

P.S. If you haven’t already, please read the 3 steps for keeping your feminine identity secret on Facebook.

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Racquel Lynn
10 years ago

Yes, you have to be careful, of course depending on your own specific situation, your level of caution may vary. I have one ex girlfiend that I know is a total game player and was wanting something to try and hang over my head. After she left, I found some photos of mine that were of me dressed as Racquel. She didn’t take the ones of me as a male or the ones of me dressed as a female in full dress. She only took the ones of me in lingerie I guess because she thought that would be the… Read more »

10 years ago

You need to take legal action against Lucy, for breach of trust. She set out to hurt you, and should pay for her mean streak. carol

10 years ago

I agree with Vanessa, you have to be careful about what you post on the internet, as what you do online can have a direct impact on what happens offline (the “real” world). For example in the news a year ago someone lost their job over something that they posted on their facebook profile. Being a computer techie and having worked in the IT field as a professional IT Technician, I’ve seen some of the major benefits that the Internet can offer, it’s all about knowing what you’re looking for rather than just clicking around, which can lead to problems.… Read more »

10 years ago

Like anything else, the internet is a good thing and a bad thing for cross dressers.We can join cross dressing groups on the internet and meet other cross dressers in person.If a girlfriend knows about your crossdressing and you feel deep down inside that you can trust her 100% I say let her take those pics of you and enjoy what you have with her.If you don`t trust her keep the crossdressing to yourself and you`ll be better off for it.A bad break up with a g/f or wife will surely put you out their for friends and family to… Read more »

Racquel Lynn
10 years ago
Reply to  Rhonda

In my experience, I learned that it is better to be up front about it from the start. Maybe not the first couple of dates with someone, unless it is someone you have known for a while already and just started dating. If things look like they are going to progress and you think you want to be with that person long term or even a lifetime, it is better to tell them sooner than later. You don’t want them finding out form someone else or some other way. It is always best coming directly from you. This builds more… Read more »

Michelle Flynn
5 years ago

I have been using the internet since it started. I have never had a problem on line because I knew people would misrepresent themselves and could try to use anything they found out against you. I encourage all of you ladies to be very careful when you go out in the world. There are are some very hateful and violent people out there. I have been out for over 20 years and I have had 4 instances of physical violence aimed at me. Very early in my transition I was crossing a parking lot and a man tried to hit… Read more »

4 years ago

Even though I’m a ass kicker like Mikkii, I prefer to avoid even dirty looks! I’ve had ex girlfriends out me before – when I was younger – and said, so what? To my friends she told. They are still my friends! But here in the rural south it’s different, folks seem to think sexual folks are pervs. Hell, they reject even normal-sexed folks that wasn’t born here! Weird stares I can do without! It’s always been hard to trust folks! But with the net there is a false sense of safety. For example. .. dating sites. Very popular! !!… Read more »

Kayla Taylor
Kayla Taylor (@kaylagem)
2 years ago

I had been very careful to hone my makeup as passable and was gleefully successful the first time. Bought several pair of shoes and several blouses then ate our. All in all a wonderful 4 hours. The second time was different. As I was enjoying my meal one evening awaiting a show that was about to begin, a guy watching from across the room while I ate came to my table and came on to me. Wow! That was different but it also told me I had done some things right and had handled my voice well. I was polite… Read more »

Sedona Rockatansky
Sedona Rockatansky (@sedona_rcktnsky)
2 years ago
Reply to  Kayla Taylor

I was playing pool at a bar once in femme, and a guy kept commenting on how good my butt looked. I eventually told him I was a dude and he took a pool ball and wouldn’t leave me alone until I took out a breast form and let him hold it. Some people just don’t understand that others don’t want to be harassed like that.

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