Facebook is a wonderful tool – it allows us to stay connected to friends and those we love, we can find groups of like minded folks for fun or support, and we can waste hours farming virtual crops. Okay, so the last one doesn’t necessarily fit the description of ‘tool’, but there’s no question that Facebook has been a boon for those in the transgender community seeking comfort, support and a sense of belonging. There are thousands if not tens of thousands of transgender woman on Facebook, and hundreds of groups dedicated to exploring all aspects of the gender spectrum.
So with that I’m excited to announce that Crossdresser Heaven will now let you comment on posts Facebook style. I must admit it’s been a bit of a rocky road with trying to get a comment system that is easy to use and at the same time lets you build personal connections to aid you in your journey into the feminine.
Transgender Women – Stay Safe On Facebook
For many of you who aren’t out, crossdressing remains a private pursuit and friendships are sought anonymously on the Internet. Facebook by it’s nature, however, is social and personal and interconnected. Without a degree of care you could inadvertently expose yourself.
I’ll share a quick story, of a caring woman who posted on my wall asking for help with her husband’s crossdressing. Not 15 minutes later a friend of hers responded in shock to her post ‘really, he does this?!’. And just as quickly she deleted her comment – my heart breaks to think of the consequences that followed this revelation.
As wonderful as Facebook is, you need to understand what happens when you interact with it:
- Like: When you press the ‘Like’ button on Crossdresser Heaven (and other websites), Facebook will show a note to all your friends that you like this
- Commenting on Crossdresser Heaven: You have two options. The default option will post a comment, and share your comment with your friends on Facebook. You can uncheck ‘Post on Facebook’ to just leave a comment on Crossdresser Heaven. Your comment will still include your profile picture, name and a link to your Facebook page.
That Sounds Complicated, How Can I Do This Safely?
If you’re concerned about sharing your crossdressing pursuit with friends and family there is an easy step you can take to prevent this from inadvertently happening:
- Download another web browser (I highly recommend Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox)
- Use this alternate browser for all your femme forays
- If you share an email address with a family member, get a new one for your femme side (Gmail offers free email addresses)
- Create a separate profile on Facebook for your feminine identity, and only ever sign in to this profile using the alternate web browser
- Follow Crossdresser Heaven on Facebook – okay, this won’t make you more secure, but you’ll get great crossdressing tips, stories and encouragement 🙂
That’s it – you no longer need to fear that the errant like or comment will expose the woman inside. Of course, if you’re comfortable sharing with friends and family, by all means go ahead!
Happy Facebooking!
More Articles by Vanessa Law
- 7 Essential Tips to Crossdressing
- A Few Changes in Our Family
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence
Vanessa Law
Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
- 7 Essential Tips to Crossdressing - January 4, 2024
- A Few Changes in Our Family - April 15, 2021
- I Want to Live Like That - August 29, 2020
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness - March 22, 2020
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence - April 6, 2019
Hmmm. I set up a femme identity on facebook and the facebook people sent me a message saying they believed it was a false account and so would I verify it. Its currently locked and I can’t get them to unlock it. facebook sucks!
Arg! I know that sometimes Facebook will catch names they don’t believe the
name is real. I’d recommend trying a name more common to US/UK culture. It’s
a real challenge to find support when you aren’t able to use your femme name
on Facebook to connect with others.
Hi Vanessa dear,
This is Susan Veronica and I moved to Seattle. Drop me a line, I have much to talk.
Susan
Vanessa, When I wanted to use FB to connect with other crossdressers a couple of years ago, I did all of those things and one more: I created a secondary logon account on my computer. That way there is *never* a chance of my CD activity leaking from one browser to another, because all data is stored in an entirely separate logon account that my “regular" logon can’t even see. When I want to surf crossdressing material, I log on with the secondary account and go to town. Oh, and the one other layer of misdirection I used was when… Read more »
Good job on taking a robust set of precautions dear! It’s best that you’re
in control of who and how finds out about this part of your life.
Hugs,
Vanessa
What I had hoped would be a way to connect with other heterosexual, non-transition, preferably married and/or Christian crossdressers… this is exactly what I seek as well. Not that I don’t mind learning new things but I prefer the heart felt emotional things that tug my tender heart.
best way to keep facebook and others out of your life is just to have nothing to do with a web site that snoopes into your hard drive.
.
Thanks for these suggestions. I don’t click like anymore, because I know friends will see it, and I don’t want everyone knowing my secret yet. It is good to know about that other way of posting comments that are only on the site, I’ll remember that.
Couldn’t agree more with what @Loni Smith said. If you’re on Facebook or use Google, there is NO privacy, only an illusion of it, pretty much no matter what you do. I refuse to even have a Facebook account or use Internet Explorer. I use all kinds of blocking and privacy add-ons for Firefox (Better Privacy, Ghostery, Self-Destructing Cookies, etc.) and opt out of Google ads, etc. Even at that, I know there is no such thing as Internet privacy, but these steps at least make it harder for a casual snoop.
@Rachel Gauvin Cramden – That is a pretty small demographic, but one that I’m in so there are at least two of us (except I’m no longer married after 18 happy years with the love of my life). I’d actually love to be transitional, but unfortunately was born 30 years too early and probably a foot too tall! So I made the best of the plumbing I had, tried to be ‘normal’ and to all appearances, live a ‘normal’ life. All I have to show for it at this point is old age, loneliness, unhappiness and regret. At least I… Read more »
My genes make it unlikely that I will ever be able to walk in public as a passable woman, but going back to a young age I remember liking the feel of wearing pantyhose, or random female acquaintance panties, and even dating a few girls that liked to dress me up in their clothes while I protested so they wouldn’t know how much I liked it. I’ve just started crossdressing, I don’t have anything more than a few pieces of lingerie right now. I’m hoping that as I meet people in similar situations that I’ll be more comfortable in my… Read more »
Thanks, Vanessa! I’m not very sophisticated when it comes to internet intricacies, but I have a separate email account, for myself, on the same browser as his email. And I have a separate FB page. I’ve had them for several years & have never had an issue that caused me to be outed. Have I done enough to safeguard my secret identity?