Hello to all the fantastic ladies that live inside this beautiful platform.
I ask for your patience and understanding as I ramble on a bit about a topic that has been on my mind. I have been grappling with my feelings about meeting and possibly even dating men. The more I have been gravitating towards womanhood, the stronger those feelings have become. I could see myself with a boyfriend or maybe even something deeper. I’m definitely attracted to men.
It started many years ago, as a much younger version of myself when crossdressing was more of a fantasy or a fetish. The thought of being in women’s clothing was exciting and exhilarating enough. I remember the thrill when I wore a dress or skirt, a bra with a pair of sexy thigh highs, and heels, even though I was clueless as to what I was doing. Looking at myself in a mirror, woke the feelings inside that I was probably repressing most of my life.
It led me to want to know more, to learn more, and to try new things more. At the time, I was functioning as a heterosexual male dating women but could feel this other side of my brain constantly knocking on the door of femininity asking to enter. Confusing, conflicting, OMG yes, to say the least! No matter how much I tried to put those feelings in a closet, no pun intended, they were always there, and like my shadow, whispered into my ear asking to surface.
Six years ago, in 2015, I was living part-time in New York for work and mostly alone. Well, that’s when I went crazy and started shopping. I learned about makeup, hair, nails, and overall beauty. After a while, I felt comfortable enough to go out on very selected occasions to test the crossdressing social scene waters (meeting some like-minded people and so forth.) I went to the Stonewall Inn a few times as well. It was heaven, just like this place. I hadn’t considering transitioning yet, but my mind began to broach the option.
What would it be like to go on a date dressed as a woman? I was too afraid to try, but the questioning never faded either. So, I relegated myself to simply dressing up, applying makeup, watching YouTube videos on how women walk, carry themselves, and to gather up beauty tips, etc. This was my life for a couple of years or so.
Then in 2018, back in SoCal, things returned back to normal, and my transformations were limited. They needed to be planned out as friends and family were unaware of my lifestyle. Most of my wardrobe that had been collected in NY was gone. I still had a few pieces to dress up with, and still, that question kept poking at me.
In the latter part of 2019, I decided to take a chance and go on a date with a guy. It felt freeing that I had finally committed to exploring this possibility! Where do I start? What is my type? What am I looking for in a guy? It was harder than I thought. We understand that most men tend to start with physical appearance and then emotional attraction, whereas women tend to value other qualities first like chemistry, humor, and sensitivity before the physical part.
I found myself thinking along those same lines. I’m not sure if you ladies have done this, but I started studying guys all the time to see what attributes they had and if I was attracted to them. Tall, short, athletic, stocky, older, younger, cocky, humble… I jumped on a few CD dating sites. I was disappointed that they were mostly about “Hook-ups” and singular desired focuses. I could write another article about the men on those sites and their fantasies with girls like us? It drove me back to a self-relegation for not spending hours to get ready for a 15 minute, non emotionally rendezvous; it definitely was not appealing.
Then COVID, ugh, everything came to a grinding halt and my notion had to be shelved. It was disheartening to finally get enough courage to put myself out there only to have a global pandemic dismantle my aspirations. It did, however, gave me time to reflect.
As we find some sense of normalcy, I can start anew. Yet, I’m still faced with the same dilemma, how does a girl go about meeting a nice guy that is comfortable with me on his arm while we walk down the street to a movie or restaurant? I’m not naive, I know that the whole “passable” issue looms large in this conversation, but I hope it’s not an impassable gauntlet that kills any chances of happiness. Men are weird about this stuff, I get it. If regular women struggle, is there any hope for girls like us?
This is the first time in my life that I’ve felt comfortable airing my feelings and exposing my heart. It’s a testament to the women here who have made me feel like a family member that I can bare my soul and know that I will receive honest and loving feedback.
As my girl, Gwen Stefani says, “I’m just a girl, little ‘ol me, guess I’m some kind of freak cause they sit and stare with their eyes”
Just looking for a good man who wants to hold my hand.
Love,
Brianna Rose ❤️
Hi Brianna , i really liked your post on this . I’ve cross dressed most all my life and as i grew older i started noticing men , i felt a little ashamed at first but now in later life i think i could go this way . I guess i am bi , i think , as i have been with GG’s most my life and only the past few years have tried to meet someone . Like you the dating sites are not good , just people looking for one night stands , i am not into this… Read more »
Hi Leslie, Thank you for the wonderful note. Feels so good to know that I’m not alone. Sexual thoughts s a nature progression and can’t tell you how many times I’ve daydreamed about being with a guy in a healthy loving relationship. I hope you also find someone that makes you happy and and treats you like the beautiful queen you are. Kisses, Brianna
Neither of y’all two lovely ladies are alone with these thoughts and feelings that were expressed above. It would be a Divine experience to have someone to care for us, ( hold hands walking down the street and other lovey-dovey things ) and see within us the femininity we can see within ourselves. I thank y’all both.. best of luck in all your future relationship endeavors
Brianna, the dating sites are very tough. While I am generally not attracted to men while dressed or otherwise, I am attracted to other CDs. That being said, I have CD friend Chrissy who simply exudes sexuality whether in her female or male forms. I met her the first time in our drab attire for lunch after having chatted for many, many weeks online. I was attracted to her immediately. We do not get to spend tons of time together, but when we do, it is always fabulous. She is one of three CDs I have met through dating sites… Read more »
Thank you Janice, I have thought about TG friendly places too. So happy that you have shared a great experience with your friend. I’m in a same boat, difficult to go to these places often so my options are limited sometimes. Btw, yep, men on the dating sites only want on thing. Even worst, their not always polite and feel free to act crude because they think we are suppose to like this type of talk, disheartening and honestly, gross. Hope you continue to have fun with your CD friend. Bigs Hugs, Brianna
Janice , i to would be attracted to other CD’s as well , i would so like to be in love . What is the dating sight you used ? By sweet lady , Leslie
Hi Leslie,
I’ve tried Crossdresserdating.com but not much luck. I think going to legitimate CD events and TG friendly places may work better. I did meet one of my close friends now on another site, she’s a CD girl like us, but the dating situation was a dud. I was blessed to meet her though wasn’t a loss in my mind. Brianna
Adult Friend Finder.
Hi Brianna I really enjoyed reading your srticle and it certainly struck a chord with me. When dressed and living as Gail I find myself dreaming about the things you talk about meeting someone nice, talking together, going places together and also being intimate together. I haven’t yet been to any dating sites I am not sure there are any here in Australia but I haven’t really looked yet. I have been to a CD bar on a few occasions where I received a little male attention but nothing that advanced past some conversation. Not sure wether that was me… Read more »
Hi Gail, Thank you for your thoughts on this. I agree, we all have our own path and all we can do is seek happiness with ourselves and our decisions. I hope you too, find your happy place…kisses, Brianna
Hey, Briana. What a conundrum. Although I have been intimate, while in guy mode, with transfemmes and crossdressers, I have never had relations as a woman or with cisgendered men as I’m simply not sexually attracted to men. Nevertheless, I find myself dreaming of performing felatio and practice, whenever I get the chance, with a dildo. I must confess that it is the ultimate turn-on, so much so that I find myself gravitating to porn sites that show videos of crossdressers performing felatio. I used to find photos of male genitalia disgusting, but now I’m aroused, especially if the male… Read more »
Hi Petra, thank you for being so open with your thoughts and desires. Yes, I have thought about the same things, its only natural, and even being with a man all the way. I’ve even fantasized about like a whole romantic outing, him picking me up for drinks and dinner, maybe some dancing, a moon lite walk, I’m on his arm while we banter and build sexual tension, then he whisk me off to his place where we spend the evening together. I’m dressed in some sexy lingerie and he’s in a pair of cute underwear and robe while we… Read more »
Brianna, I apologize, but I’m just now reading your post. You describe – and so elegantly – the perfect evening. My dear, you’ve sent me in to a pink tsunami! If you ever find yourself in the Midwest, we must hang out. Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving!
Same here, I used to never look at men and their penis’s but the last fews years I have grown to love look of a nice hard penis, I too have thought of going to a glory hole but am to scared to do it
I have these feeling the more I dress the femme feelings get so much stronger makes me shake is this feeling normal
Hi Desire, agreed. The feeling only grow stronger. Brianna
I some what relate. But being bi-sexual the attraction to males has been there all along. But once I started exploring the female in side of me then it was finding men that would like that part of me. And of course women that would accept it. The thing that I would tell you is that in guy mode or femme mode I would be prode to have you on my arm out to dinner movie clubbing. You are a very beautiful lady. Hope to chat with you some more.
Karen
Thank you Karen for the kind comments, you are beautiful too!
We all deserve to be on a guys arm, if thats what we truly want… I would love to chat anytime.
Kisses, Brianna
Brianna, Great article, your sharing so openly is inspiring! I’m not attracted to men, even when I’m crossdressed so I can’t say that I’ve experienced all the feelings that you have, and I’ve only been out in public once when dressed so I admittedly don’t have a lot of experience with my feelings when interacting with the world as Marcellette. I can, however, definitely confess that I did notice men more when I was out in public dressed and I’m not sure why that happened. It wasn’t an attraction, but rather more of a timid/shy inquisitive way of looking at… Read more »
Hi Marcellette,
Thank you for your thoughts and comments. It’s definitely different when you look at guys while out and whether they are checking you out as well. Yes, I find myself wondering the same thing, am I pretty? Am I put together right? Are they looking at my face, body, dare I say boobs and butt? All of these thoughts are running through my mind…I hope they think, she’s pretty, I would like to meet her…I think your right on, vanity is the best!
Hugs, Brianna
Thank you for having the courage to express your feelings publicly in your article. It was well written. They say “there are plenty of fish in the sea” but most of the fish you catch, will have to be released! The world of cross-dressing is sadly misunderstood. There are many dating sites with guys who want “friends with benefits” or a one night stand with a CD, but that’s not what you want. Nor would I. Someday I hope that you catch a man who is the man of your dreams, and treats like you like lady. You deserve it.… Read more »
Hi Revel, thanks GF, always good to hear your thoughts. Yes, there’s many fish out there…what kind of net do I need to catch one?? Men should treat all ladies with respect and kindness, we all deserve only the best.
Warmest,
Brianna
Brianna Rose; What a beautifully well written article dear. Really appreciated the courage it took to write this article. ️ ☺️ Thoroughly enjoyed the read and to some extent one way or another I can really relate. I feel I would do much better in relationships Finding Me a boyfriend also yes I totally get it & understand the aspects of the Sexes that men are typically visually attractive whereas females are attracted to other aspects of the opposite sex predominantly. This statement alone confirms that I’m destined to be in the role of a woman never was the a… Read more »
Hi Janine, Thank you for your thoughts. I wrote this as I know its a wonderful safe place to share feelings and I would hopefully get back good open feedback as well as sharing experiences. Just lets me know I’m not alone in the search for a “good man”! As I either meet someone or just see a guy out, I always thinking, wonder what type of guy is he, kind, smart, compassionate, respectful, sensitive…but I do look at the attractiveness too. Also, because I’m 6’1…6’5 in pumps, so tall, I like guys who can stand eye-to-eye, maybe now I’m… Read more »
Xoxo Brianna.
No dear you’re not being too picky/asking too much out of finding a compatible man. You are wonderful Just the Way You Are! ☺️ and whatever you’re searching for and what ignite your fuse so to speak is what makes you genuinely You And your guy will come along..
I’ve created this profile earlier today and I am discovering how friendly and open it is upon here.
Everybody is so warm and friendly.