Deportment – what does it mean? Behavior. Bearing. Conduct of a person. Body language.
Over the years, I have been an astute observer of women of all ages, watching how they present themselves. Not surprisingly, it’s totally different than the male gender! Their gestures are different, the way they stand, move their hand, how they talk to another person with great zeal. The body language is from another world!
OK, note these observations: you are a passable crossdresser, well-experienced in going out in public, makeup and wig perfectly applied, walk is down, voice gets by. But the most overlooked aspect of female impersonation in public presentation is deportment. What is it?
- Women talk with their hands; they are very eager and expressive in communicating to others and use their hand movements, low, flailing hands and forearms, to express themselves better.
- When conversing, the listener looks the talker in the eye, does not interrupt, and smiles back and nods their head, hanging on every word the other woman is saying.
- Also different from men, body language of the hands. For example, they put both hands up to their nose and mouth in a praying-like position when acting surprised, excited, or astonished. Why? I don’t know, they just do.
- When walking, some women unconsciously walk with a limp wrist on one arm, usually bent 90 degrees at the elbow.
- Another gesture involving one, or sometimes both, hands is putting the hands up to their chest/heart area in response to amazement or surprise – like being proposed to (same as the above clapped palms to the face). I always thought they were experiencing heartburn!
- When women sit, whether with pants, dress, or skirt, they cross their legs with leg over knee, or cross at the ankle or shin, with both hands palm down, resting flat on their lap or knees.
- Watch how women of all ages stand in a resting position, usually while in line somewhere, standing at a counter or display, or perhaps talking to another genetic girl. They never have both feet facing forward (“north” or twelve o’clock,) it’s always one facing forward, typically it’s the left one, and the right is at three o’clock (or “east”). Another option is the “models’ pose,” with the right foot at two o’clock, and the left foot slightly backwards, behind the right. Sometimes they will do a “supermodel” pose with left foot at 11, and right foot at two, again moved slightly backwards. Watch for that.
- When you are eating out, cross your legs under the table. When putting a forkful of food into your mouth, lean into it and eat small portions. Insert the fork mostly forward, not sideways. Now, after inserting the food, make sure you keep your hand bent backwards at the wrist, so that the utensil is almost facing upward. Repeat this with every bite, and blot your lips with a napkin (from your lap) every so often.
So, there you have it: a crash course in Female Impersonation Deportment in Public. Hope you enjoy the tips and remember to practice, practice, practice! I throw out any missing suggestions to our fellow sisters for observations they may have noticed that I missed. Discuss!
Hugs, and keep those seams straight…
More Articles by Meghan Brandice
- What we EXPECT from Today’s Women-and Shouldn’t
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Hi Meghan. Thanks for the tips on female deportment. I would like to add a few observations. Women swing their arms from the elbow instead of the shoulder as males do and sometimes with their hand turned up at the wrist and pointed away from the body. The arm cocked at the elbow I believe is from their habit of carrying a purse on an arm. When eating, females tend to sit upright with one hand in their lap while using the other hand to eat with and only eating one bite at a time instead of shoveling it in.… Read more »
It helps will add those deportment steps when I go downtown this week as a business woman
Very good observations Meghan of a list that seems to be never ending. What about getting in and out of a car, walking in heels? The lesson is to observe all the time and practice. Over exaggeration is a problem a lot of girls have and is a giveaway.
A nice article Meghan, thank you.
Angela, thank you for sharing your observations…if I may add “about getting in and out of the car” whether you are wearing a skirt, dress, or pants ..you sit in the seat with your legs Together out side the door and swing your legs into the sitting position. I was in physical therapy for 9 weeks when going home the physical therapist showed me how to get in and out of the car. although I was in male mode she said “this is the way ladies get in the car, too.. (hmm to this day I wonder did she know?)… Read more »
You both nailed it and add to my Deportment suggestion list
Thank You Meghan. Appreciate your adding our tips to the Deportment suggestion list…
Glad you liked it, now when are you ready to go out for lunch as two women secretaries?
Would love to Meghan but the distance is a bit of a challenge!
Part of our never ending CD fantasy world…. Bummer I’m going out later this week alone, I’ll have them set an empty place setting for you and drink your glass of wine
One piece of advice for those out & about is don’t overdo the “CD walk". CD’s are often told that they should walk by placing one foot forward and directly in line with the other foot. Sit at a mall sometime & watch women to see how many actually walk that way – not many. It’s perfectly fine to just place your leading foot near in line with your other foot. Some CD’s overdo it so much that they place the leading foot on the opposite side of the trailing foot which is what models often do while walking the… Read more »
Meghan, Loved your article. I also study female motion and the observations never end. Here are two more. When shopping for clothing women touch the clothing as they browse as if to feel how the item would feel while wearing it. When walking and not carrying anything there hands are cocked up at the wrist and there arms swing freely from the elbow down.
Thanks for all your expertise, it was/is very insightful. Luv TERI
Wow never thought of those couple, you’re right I’ve observed many times that women will pull the fabric towards the to feel while it’s still on the rack and my gawd you are correct in the cocked wrist in carrying an item up to the counter, after you deposit it in your shopping cart or draped over your left arm. Thanks sweet thing
Thank you so much Megan, this was fun to read! What I find interesting is that I’ve been doing much of this already for years before I transitioned. My daughter would always tell me to stop doing whatever motion she felt was imbarrasing her. Feminine mannerisms always resulted in my being bullied and teased through my school years. I am a transitioned trans woman and these mannerisms are all 2nd nature to me, thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Love you baby let’s do lunch at your office cafeteria !
This is beautifully observed and tells me I need to spend a lot more time on my deportment. Because I’m wearing minidresses quite a lot, I’ve become conscious of whether I’m showing my knickers.
Thank you so much, Megan. Wife’s out so I’m eating dinner by myself with my legs crossed, a draped right wrist while I eat (left handed) & hold my fork appropriately, then dab my mouth. Can’t wait to go out Saturday & show the world more evidence of the woman I’m becoming. Love you, girl.
Great article and discussion, lots to think about.
I examined myself today as I went out for my walk, and found that I don’t have a limp wrist. My wrist is relaxed and in line with my arm. But my fingers are also relaxed, and so they turn in slightly towards my body. I learned deportment as follows,although I’ll use different ways to describe them. Stand with your stomach in, chest proud, elongated neck (like there’s a puppet string holding it up), shoulders down but rolled back, arms hanging at your side, and palms facing in. Think of it as standing at attention, and then relaxing your arms… Read more »
All these suggestions are so important. It’s not just looking like a woman in public but personally feeling it when you conduct yourself as such